Ethical Slut

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Hi everyone, Stacy. Here,
I am collecting everyone's favorite episodes and stories

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from the Shit that Happens to Me
podcast, And not only that, if

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you send me an email with your
favorite story from the show, I'm going

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to send you a T shirt or
a sweatshirt or a zip up or a

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hoodie because I have all of this
merch left over. So please, I

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mean, you can feel free to
send me your favorite story anyway, because

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I would love to know. But
send me an email to the Shit that

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Happens to Me at gmail dot com
and or send me a message on Instagram

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and let me know what your favorite
story is from the show, and I

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will send you some shit merch.
So do that right now. Shit happens,

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bad shit, good shit, crazy
shit, and it usually happens when

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we least expect it. So tune
into the Shit that Happens to Me podcast

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and hear me and everyone I meet
tell they're shitty stories. You'll laugh,

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you'll cry. You probably won't cry. Why would you cry? These are

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mostly funny stories. You'll learn a
few lessons, probably not. It's definitely

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not that kind of podcast, but
you will have a great time. Honestly,

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you can't make this shit up.
Hi. Everyone. Will Sterling is

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on the show today. You may
know him from his podcast History Rated R.

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He is an actor and a writer
and he is good friends with Maggie

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and Ryan from Straw Hut. So
he came on the show today to talk

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about his drunken youth, although he
was a little older than a youth when

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he went through when he went through
it, So he tells us stories about

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hitch hiking, drunk and going on
a motor scooter or maybe it wasn't a

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motor scooter or drunk. There's a
theme here partying with Brandy Glanville from Real

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Housewives. So um, stick around. Um, it's a really it's a

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really great episode. We got a
little philosophical too. It's all good.

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So um. Here he is Will
Sterling. I am so excited to be

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here today with my guest, Will
Sterling. Hi, Will, how are

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you good? How are you?
And I'm very good? Thank you so

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glad that you could be here today
on the Ship that Happens to Me podcast.

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Yeah. So I have a I
have a small a small confession,

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not confession, but thing to say
that when I first Maggie first invite your

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your producer invited me to be on
the show. She sent your name and

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it was Stacy ny but for whatever
reason in my brain, I read it

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as Stacy New Year's Eve. Yes, so I started thinking, like,

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your hip hop name was Stacy Nye, Stacy New Year's Eve. I don't

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know why for I don't know two
weeks and then I only got an email

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from you, and I was like, oh, it's a regular, it's

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a it's not no. I love
it name. It's a real last name.

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I love that you think I have
a hip hop name, and now

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I do Stacy New Year's Eve Stacy. Ye. I love it because you

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know, around mid December when all
of the signs go up about New Year's

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Eve, and ye, my husband
and I are inundated with all of these

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like pictures of the billboards. Oh
look they're celebrating you guys on December thirty

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first. So yeah, well there
you go. It's all it's meant to

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be. But I love that Stacy
New Year's Eve. So yeah. So

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um so will you are a friend
of Maggie's Is that right? That's right?

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Yeah, I know Maggie for a
long time, and and you are

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a writer and a director and actor, sort of the jack of all trades,

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master of none. You know,
I'm one of those people who was

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like, I'm in LA, I'm
doing any all the things entertainment related,

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including podcasting. So that's awesome.
I am in Milwaukee doing none of those

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things. But I am podcasting.
He's doing the podcast. I'm podcasting.

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Yeah, not writing or acting or
directing or producing or anything like that.

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Creating. I'm creating. So maybe
so we're going to get into the ship

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in a few moments, but maybe
you can give the listeners just a little

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background on your different projects and things
like that. Yeah, I in stars,

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podcasting goes. I've been in the
industry for eight years now, started

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in two thousand and fifteen, actually
April twenty fifteen, so here we are.

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Was in radio before that, so
as a day as day jobs go.

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Been in broadcast and podcasting for for
quite some time. But you're like

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twenty writing is sorry, you look
like twenty. I'm thirty five, but

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thank you. Well, I'm gonna
put that in my pocket and I'm going

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to unfold it later. I uh. But you know, in LA,

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with acting and writing, as anything
goes, it's like it's it's just a

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hustle until something happens. So,
um, Maggie's husband and a good friend

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of mine, UM Ryan Tillotson who
runs straw Hat Media as you know,

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and our mutual pile Alex Wall We
you know, have just been working on

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projects since college. We've been friends
for a really long time. So,

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you know, between shorts and an
Instagram series and some features that we've written

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that we're in pre production on,
keeping busy and then um on my own

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writing scripts as well, and then
have a novel coming out this summer,

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so that's exciting and just plugging away. And your novel is called The Fame

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Fame by Misadventure, Right, what
kind of novel is that? What is

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that about? It's a dark satire
sort of an analysis, humorous analysis of

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our every worship culture when it comes
to reality TV and sort of how we

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consume media, especially in new media
like this, and and sort of by

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extension, how we consume human beings. Basically, like it's easy to other

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than them, and because they're on
television almost think that what they're dealing with

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is not real or it doesn't matter
because they're famous or they're rich, or

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they're successful or whatever it is,
and I think that there's a there's a

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fine line between how that you know, it can be entertaining, but also

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it can affect their real lives and
our real lives because we sort of lose

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our grip on how we contribute to
when people like that suffer, you know,

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like a Britney Spears or something like
that. There's an element to which

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when shit was going down for her, you know, people are like,

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oh, she's just crazy, you
know, she's losing her mind. But

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you know, minus the entire media
and public and everybody who just consumed her

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until the point of, you know, just bringing her to a breaking point.

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So I think the audience also has
a responsibility and some of that stuff

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as well. And so it's a
it's funny but also very sad. Yeah,

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so it's a it's a balance.
Yeah, dark thus dark satire,

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Yes exactly. Yeah. And you're
you have a podcast, as you mentioned,

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called History Rated R. So it
is h and I know we can

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say shit on this podcast. Is
there are there words that are off limits

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we can say? Well, I
have personal words that are off limits that

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I emailed you, Bob. But
yeah, yeah, no, we can

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say shit, we can say fuck, We can say whatever we want.

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Great, those two those two are
the are the but history rated r's there's

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a lot of the F word on
there, and so um, it's uh,

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it's fun. I started. My
co host is a seventy eight year

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old former presidential speechwriter, and he's
an old school conservative, um, which

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makes for a fun balance because I'm
a young liberal. But he's not a

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Trump you know, conservat it's he
believes in things like climate change in gun

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control. So we have our disagreements
where it happens, but also our common

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ground. And it's fun, I
think between the two of us sort of

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the different perspectives. But also he's
very, very wise and intelligent. So

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he brings the history and I bring
the blue color commentary. Nice. That

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sounds like fun. Yeah, okay, so um, So apparently you have

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had some shit happened to you,
like along along the way, you know,

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as you've been you know in the
your connective word, yes and trying

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to find yourself and something about you
know, being in your twenties. So

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let's let's hear some let's hear some
of that what you got for me today?

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I was married young, and I
didn't it was my to my high

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school sweetheart that we started dating when
I was seventeen, she was sixteen,

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And I was raised religious and there
was a lot of came from a small

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town. So marrying that person was
like the greatest thing anyone could ever do.

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You know, like, if you
marry your high school sweetheart, this

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is like a gift from God basically, and no one tells you that.

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Emotionally, you're probably not prepared to
confront, well not confront, but but

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enter into a marriage with some experience
under your belt. Obviously you know you're

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I'm young. So married at twenty
two and was divorced at twenty nine,

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and so the twenties are usually a
time when everybody sort of lives their best

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life and figures their shit out and
makes their mistakes and has their their drunken

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antics and as my current spouse calls
it, ethical slut people, and in

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your time in life, maybe if
you're open to that thing, you you

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know, there's no shame. I
missed all that, and so starting pretty

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much at twenty nine, it was
off to the races. And as Maggie

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could attest to and Ryan, um, I was a bit of a mess.

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But but there were some funny stories
and some important life lessons that were

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learned along the way, and there
was a lot of there was a lot

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of drinking involved in these decisions,
which is, um, you know here,

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I'm going to cheers to that.
Yeah, right, meet you.

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I'll cheers also because I've learned.
You know, I've learned, and just

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you know, we can kind of
expand obviously as we go. But it

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was I've been to a lot of
therapy as well, so you know,

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you emailed me and I was like, we can get as nitty gritty as

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you want or keep it as loose, but a lot of therapy went a

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long way, and I was especially
when it came to therapy. I was

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surprised at my therapist. I was
like smoking a lot of cigarettes and drinking

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a bunch and was shot nervous about
like admitting to him like, hey,

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I'm really kind of like not taking
great care of myself because I'm going through

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this thing. And so finally when
I sort of brought that out into the

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open, he's like, if that's
what you need right now, that's okay.

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And I was like, what,
who gets You're giving me permission to

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do something that it's usually typically so
associated with shame, you know, personal

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shame when it comes to it,
And so I did things like I decided

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drunkenly hitchhiking was a good idea and
got picked up by a man coming home

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from a construction site and his best
friend and realized immediately like this could end

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in my murder if the movies and
television shows are correct. But I'd gone

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to a concert and my phone died
and I had forgotten to program in to

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lift my new home address, and
it dropped me off at my old home

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address where I lived when I was
married, and I was like, hey,

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man, I can't this isn't where
I live. And he's like,

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uh, it's too bad. You
gotta get out. My phone was dead.

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Oh no, So for whatever reason, yeah, I got out and

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I was standing there and I was
like, okay, what's my game plan?

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Very very hammered logic coming through now
my brain. And the first thing

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that popped my man is like,
just start walking. Just start walking,

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see how far you can get.
Maybe you can make it on Laurel Canyon,

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which I got really far. Actually
from that place to my new place

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was probably about eight miles, oh
yeah, which would be a really long

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walk. Yeah if even if you
weren't drunk. Um. So I and

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I was wearing like boot that was
not I was not prepared to make this

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walk like fancy going out boots.
I was at a concert trying to look

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cute. But the first good idea
was that I should start walking. So

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I started walking, and the hitchhiking
had not occurred to me yet. I

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was convinced that I could walk over
Laurel Canyon, which once that became very

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dangerous. Then hitchhiking became a good
idea. But I do remember there's this

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um, there's this disparagement of the
valley when it comes to Los Angeles.

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People like the valley. And I
remember I was walking up I had made

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it past. I was on Melrose, going up past Melrose, and a

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guy was coming out of some building
doing something and I said hey, man,

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and he looked at me like kind
of scared, and I was like,

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hey, you going to the valley
and he goes no, and then

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drives away. So I was like, Okay, I guess I'm not.

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I guess I can't get a ride
from a stranger, from a kind stranger.

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So I get to Lorel Canyon and
it's twisty turney and very dark,

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and I realized, like, I'd
probably get hit by a car if I

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do this on foot. So I
was like, you know what, I

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should just stick the thumb out like
like I've seen people do, you know,

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and maybe a kind motorist will pull
over and pick me up. This

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car truck finally does, and this
guy coming home from the site and his

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buddy and a dogger in the back, and he takes a left turn up

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a part of like in the Hollywood
Hills where it gets twisty turney and all

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the houses are and things, kind
of off of Laurel Canyon, and I

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was like, oh man, we
immediately detoured to the creepy, scary,

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distant part and I think this is
probably where I'm going to die. Maybe

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I should get my life together as
as the time goes on, and there's

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a dog. There's a dog in
the back and he has his head on

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my lap, and I remember,
hey, you have a really this is

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a really sweet dog, and nobody
acknowledged it or said anything, and I

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was like, this, that means
that means death. Yeah, lets his

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buddy out, Yeah, yeah,
come on, acknowledge the dog if you

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acknowledge the dog. Then I think
I'm gonna be okay. Um ends up

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taking his buddy to his car,
where he parked somewhere where it was free

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to park. His buddy and the
dog get out like okay, moved to

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the front and it's dead quiet,
and as we go down the other side

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of the hill, you know,
there's like little small talk like hey,

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what do you do for work?
And he's like, oh, I work

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at constructions, you know, management
or whatever, and I gotta be up

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tomorrow again at four thirty. And
then it's quiet for like ten minutes and

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he pulls into a CBS parking lot
and like I could tell that he was

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also scared, like, oh,
maybe I also made a mistake. I

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don't know. Maybe the hitchhiker in
this twist, this turn of events is

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the one who murders me. And
he looks over me. He's like,

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hey, you cool here, I
need you to get out. And I

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was like, i was still like
two miles away from home, and I

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was like I'm just a little bit
that way. He's like, I this

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is good, and I was like
okay, yeah, I mean he did

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he did me a solid and saved
me from being struck by a vehicle walking

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over the dangerous part of the Lord. I don't know if you've spent any

213
00:15:30.960 --> 00:15:33.679
time in Los Angeles and you know
Laurel Canyon, but it's not that's not

214
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a wise move to walk up that
road, even in the daytime. So

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I was like, I acknowledged the
I acknowledge the help walk the rest of

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00:15:41.799 --> 00:15:46.080
the way home. Immediately put this
in the group chat, and everybody was

217
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like, you're crazy, what are
you doing? And it's like, there's

218
00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:52.399
been a lot of little moments of
these stupid shit that happens to me that

219
00:15:52.440 --> 00:15:58.320
are clear that they're happening because of
grief or sadness or other things. And

220
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it took some time to come around
to h to accepting that that was a

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big part of the reason and not
just that I was having a great time.

222
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Yeah, you know, well,
I think you make a good point,

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and I think what I've maybe never
acknowledged on the on the three years

224
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I've done this podcast is often,
not always, but often shit happens to

225
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certain people because we put ourselves in
situations where shit is bound to happen right

226
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now. Sometimes it's out of grief
or trauma, or you know, um,

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just you know, unfortunate circumstances that
we're in. But other times it's

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it's because we're just not we're not
thinking clearly, we're not we're not being

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you know, we're not using our
we're not using our wise mind, which

230
00:16:49.639 --> 00:16:55.639
is psychological term when we're making certain
decisions. So yeah, I mean that's

231
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that's really true. And there's a
lot of instances like that. But you

232
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didn't get murdered, so that's amazing. And I did not get murdered,

233
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not get murdered, and the truck
driver thought you were going to murder him,

234
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so yeah, yeah, so um
other other examples of things you did

235
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you know back then besides drunk chik
drink, Yeah, exactly. Well,

236
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and unfortunately, like some of these
stories do involve a one time I drunkenly

237
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took a school and this is always
like what this became the pattern of like,

238
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okay, this, we're using this, and I think this was like

239
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a big deal. And I think
a learning point for me was self medication.

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Not knowing that that's a real thing
that people do. That doesn't necessarily

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00:17:38.000 --> 00:17:41.799
mean like, oh this is going
to be a problem for the rest of

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my life, but it's for sure
a problem right now. And it was

243
00:17:45.720 --> 00:17:49.519
always not always, but oftentimes I'd
find myself away from home and sort of

244
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stuck in this position of of needing
to get back and feeling sort of I

245
00:18:00.200 --> 00:18:03.960
guess maybe you know there's some there's
some kind of strandedness connection to too,

246
00:18:04.119 --> 00:18:08.079
I guess my emotional state. But
it was out for a joint bachelor bachelorette

247
00:18:08.119 --> 00:18:11.480
party and they had this big limit
of taking everybody around. It was great

248
00:18:11.799 --> 00:18:15.960
ended at this bar. Everybody goes
their separate ways. This is I don't

249
00:18:15.960 --> 00:18:21.079
know if you have ever taken a
lift or on uber during like when there

250
00:18:21.079 --> 00:18:22.960
were surge prices, and you would
you know, you look for a car

251
00:18:23.000 --> 00:18:26.759
at some point during the day and
it could be seven dollars, and then

252
00:18:26.759 --> 00:18:30.960
you could look during this window of
high traffic time and it would be like

253
00:18:30.039 --> 00:18:34.000
forty eight dollars. Yeah, And
this is the time of like when the

254
00:18:34.039 --> 00:18:37.960
lime scooters and everything were very,
very popular, and I was like,

255
00:18:37.720 --> 00:18:41.920
I'm paying forty eight dollars to go
home. Now I'm still in the valley

256
00:18:41.960 --> 00:18:45.319
at this point, and apparently all
these stories start with me on the other

257
00:18:45.319 --> 00:18:51.039
side of the hill and end with
me ending up back in the valley and

258
00:18:51.200 --> 00:18:56.240
the best idea that I had at
the time was to take a Lime scooter

259
00:18:56.359 --> 00:19:03.119
over the Koanga Pass another to nine
miles to get home. And I unlocked

260
00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:07.839
the scooter, I get on it
and fall embarrassingly drunken immediately, but it

261
00:19:07.880 --> 00:19:11.759
was like a noodle weird sort of
fall, and I was wearing what I

262
00:19:11.799 --> 00:19:15.400
felt like was like a really nice
jacket, so I didn't want to mess

263
00:19:15.480 --> 00:19:18.920
it up. So it was almost
like a slow motion like ah as.

264
00:19:18.920 --> 00:19:21.319
I kind of just rolled onto the
ground, get up, sort of dust

265
00:19:21.359 --> 00:19:25.359
myself off, look around. There's
nobody there, and consciously think to myself,

266
00:19:25.799 --> 00:19:27.599
I cannot do this again. If
I do this again, some cop

267
00:19:27.720 --> 00:19:33.599
somewhere is going to see me fall
in this way and I'm going to get

268
00:19:33.640 --> 00:19:36.839
arrested or I'm going to get a
you know, what would be the ticket

269
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if you were scootering intoxicated? Is
that still drunken disorderly? Maybe if you're

270
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going thirteen miles an hour. And
so I just told myself, I was

271
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like, you can't do that again, and I didn't. I in this

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00:19:52.759 --> 00:19:56.519
in this weird little, you know, scootery way, make it over the

273
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hill seven and a half or so
miles, going almost entirely uphill at like

274
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seven miles an hour, and get
pretty close to home and the battery dies.

275
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Pick up a dozen donuts to eat
out of the box as I continue

276
00:20:12.359 --> 00:20:18.839
my walk home. Um. The
lesson learned, I think, continues to

277
00:20:18.880 --> 00:20:26.079
be the same um waking up with
bruises and not knowing how I got them,

278
00:20:26.079 --> 00:20:30.680
and things like this, and and
and having to piece back some of

279
00:20:30.720 --> 00:20:34.000
the pieces of of of these evenings
of of of how did I how did

280
00:20:34.039 --> 00:20:37.720
I get back? Why you know? Why have I done this? Why

281
00:20:37.720 --> 00:20:41.920
did this happen? Um? I
think the fun part of a lot of

282
00:20:41.920 --> 00:20:44.880
the shit that happens to me is
the shit that I kind of do to

283
00:20:44.960 --> 00:20:48.359
myself. I don't know how much. I'm sure there's plenty of external shit.

284
00:20:48.400 --> 00:20:52.319
I know there's plenty of external shit, but I have I do have

285
00:20:52.319 --> 00:20:59.039
a good reputation of the the shit
that I do to myself self flagellation you

286
00:20:59.079 --> 00:21:03.440
mean afterwards, yes, exactly,
Yeah, yeah, I can say.

287
00:21:03.160 --> 00:21:08.480
I mean this isn't quite as you
know, extreme as drunken hitchhiking. But

288
00:21:10.480 --> 00:21:17.039
last week I was getting my nails
done and I was trying to figure out

289
00:21:17.079 --> 00:21:19.680
what color to get, and I
was opening all of these bottles of nail

290
00:21:19.680 --> 00:21:23.640
polish. And I do this thing
where I hold too many things at one

291
00:21:23.680 --> 00:21:27.720
time. I don't know if you
do that. Like the phone. My

292
00:21:27.799 --> 00:21:32.839
phone is always in my hand,
you know, it could probably it should

293
00:21:32.880 --> 00:21:36.119
just be glued to my hand.
But I was looking at pictures and I

294
00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:41.599
was looking at a nail bottle of
nail polish, and I was also holding

295
00:21:42.119 --> 00:21:45.039
all of the you know, when
you go get your nails done. Don't

296
00:21:45.039 --> 00:21:48.839
know if you know this. They
paint nail polish on all these little fake

297
00:21:48.960 --> 00:21:55.039
nails and they come in like these
plastic things, and there's several of them

298
00:21:55.279 --> 00:22:00.359
on like a ring. So I'm
holding all three of these things at once.

299
00:22:00.640 --> 00:22:03.759
I don't know why this is what
I do. And the nail polish,

300
00:22:03.880 --> 00:22:07.920
of all things, I mean,
glad not my phone goes flying all

301
00:22:07.920 --> 00:22:11.559
of a sudden, it to slip
flop, flies out of my hand and

302
00:22:12.200 --> 00:22:19.119
falls to the ground and splatters nail
polish everywhere, which on the floor,

303
00:22:19.160 --> 00:22:22.920
on the on the desk, you
know, not a big deal. On

304
00:22:23.079 --> 00:22:27.839
my clothes, my nice clothes,
you know, like stuff like that.

305
00:22:29.000 --> 00:22:33.240
So so then I'm like, why
do I do that? Why do I?

306
00:22:33.720 --> 00:22:37.680
Why must I hold everything? It's
a balancing act all at once.

307
00:22:37.799 --> 00:22:41.400
So do you do what? What
did you do? You feel like you

308
00:22:41.440 --> 00:22:45.119
are able to sort of walk back
why you do that? You know,

309
00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:48.559
like, what what do you have
your own? Oh, we're gonna get

310
00:22:48.599 --> 00:22:52.119
psychological here. Why do I do
that? I mean, like, that's

311
00:22:52.119 --> 00:22:56.119
just my first question is I'm like, You're like, why do I do

312
00:22:56.160 --> 00:22:57.640
this? And and so then my
question is, yeah, why why do

313
00:22:57.759 --> 00:23:03.119
you do it? You know?
Like what? Yeah, I don't know.

314
00:23:03.240 --> 00:23:07.680
I think there is an answer right
now. I'm not the host back

315
00:23:07.720 --> 00:23:11.759
off, no, but I will
say there is a part of me and

316
00:23:11.240 --> 00:23:15.640
I recognize this and I try really
hard to not do this so much.

317
00:23:17.000 --> 00:23:19.559
But but maybe that's a lie.
Because I do have this podcast called The

318
00:23:19.559 --> 00:23:23.240
Shit That Happens to Me. There's
a part of me that maybe enjoys,

319
00:23:25.079 --> 00:23:29.000
you know, um, sometimes being
a little flighty, Like I'm like a

320
00:23:29.079 --> 00:23:32.720
smart person, okay, but it's
also fun to be a little flighty sometimes,

321
00:23:32.759 --> 00:23:36.880
like ha, look at this,
I'm there's things flying, you know,

322
00:23:37.160 --> 00:23:40.680
all around. Yeah, but I
don't know, that's the best I

323
00:23:40.680 --> 00:23:45.480
can come up with at the moment. That's fair. I did put you

324
00:23:45.559 --> 00:23:49.920
up. That's what I do.
So that's cool, Okay, it's and

325
00:23:49.960 --> 00:23:55.319
so I, I, uh,
what was the I just out of curiosity,

326
00:23:55.359 --> 00:23:56.680
I think listening to some of the
episodes and stuff. What was the

327
00:23:57.160 --> 00:24:03.839
big inspiration for starting this show?
Did you feel like you were accumulating shit

328
00:24:03.960 --> 00:24:06.920
that was happening to you and you
wanted to know what other people were going

329
00:24:06.920 --> 00:24:10.759
to kind of go into it.
The inspiration was mostly that I could just

330
00:24:10.799 --> 00:24:15.400
tell my shit, but but no, it was also to hear other people's

331
00:24:15.400 --> 00:24:18.720
shit. So I had this and
and often the ship that happens to me

332
00:24:18.759 --> 00:24:22.279
is good shit, you know,
like funny, good good stuff. Like

333
00:24:22.680 --> 00:24:26.440
yeah, like I managed. I
didn't think that, like, oh maybe

334
00:24:26.440 --> 00:24:29.960
I could have thought of the positive
shit. I only think about negative.

335
00:24:30.039 --> 00:24:36.319
I know, I know, but
um, I managed to um get myself

336
00:24:36.440 --> 00:24:41.720
on stage UM with I don't know
if you if you've heard of um um

337
00:24:41.960 --> 00:24:48.000
my favorite murder UM. Karen Kilgarriff
and Georgia Hartstark before COVID were doing all

338
00:24:48.039 --> 00:24:51.680
these live shows and you know,
they were, you know, really popular,

339
00:24:52.279 --> 00:24:56.079
and they did a live show in
Milwaukee and I managed to get myself

340
00:24:56.079 --> 00:25:02.359
on stage with them for to tell
like my hometown murder story. And you

341
00:25:02.400 --> 00:25:03.720
know, it was like the kind
of thing where I kind of like I

342
00:25:03.759 --> 00:25:07.680
felt like I made it happen,
like I I willed the whole thing and

343
00:25:08.319 --> 00:25:14.319
got on stage and told a story
that that everyone thought. I mean,

344
00:25:14.519 --> 00:25:17.920
I mean everyone laughs when you're up
there anyway, But um, I told

345
00:25:17.920 --> 00:25:21.559
the story, and Karen and Georgia
talked about me and my story for days

346
00:25:21.680 --> 00:25:26.319
afterwards, and um, a lot
of people in Milwaukee like heard it and

347
00:25:26.759 --> 00:25:30.799
talked about you know. I mean, if you didn't listen to the podcast,

348
00:25:30.880 --> 00:25:33.000
you didn't still didn't know who I
was. But so but when that

349
00:25:33.119 --> 00:25:40.000
happened and kind of um got got
some small time notoriety, I thought,

350
00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:42.119
oh, well, this is the
time to start a podcast because this is

351
00:25:42.160 --> 00:25:47.359
the kind of shit that happens to
me. You know, I got myself

352
00:25:47.359 --> 00:25:49.920
on stage. So yeah, the
good ship, the good shit? Do

353
00:25:49.960 --> 00:25:53.920
you do you find that? Yeah? You need a balance, do guess

354
00:25:56.160 --> 00:25:59.400
how Now I'm like, wait,
I should think of a good story,

355
00:25:59.519 --> 00:26:03.440
some good shit that happened to me, just so I can balance out some

356
00:26:03.519 --> 00:26:06.880
of the bad shit. It's mostly
bad shit that people tell me. I

357
00:26:06.880 --> 00:26:12.160
mean, it's mostly like you know, yeah, like there's some bad shit

358
00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:17.200
that's happened, but but it's funny
bad shit also. I mean maybe at

359
00:26:17.200 --> 00:26:18.880
the time it happens to you,
it's not funny, but in retrospect it's

360
00:26:18.920 --> 00:26:23.039
funny. So I have a hard
time when I think when I say this

361
00:26:23.079 --> 00:26:26.880
shit happens to me, or do
I make the shit happen to myself.

362
00:26:26.240 --> 00:26:30.119
A lot of the work right now
is like a setting boundaries, being assertive

363
00:26:30.160 --> 00:26:33.720
in places that I need to be
communicated, being saying no. You know,

364
00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:37.240
like, as I get older,
thirty five has been for whatever reason,

365
00:26:37.319 --> 00:26:42.480
like a different switch went on.
It was the first time that maybe

366
00:26:42.480 --> 00:26:45.400
not the first time, but you
know, usually when when you have a

367
00:26:45.400 --> 00:26:48.319
birthday, people are like, how
do you feel, and you're like,

368
00:26:48.759 --> 00:26:55.559
fucking the same the day after the
yesterday, and I felt, you know,

369
00:26:55.599 --> 00:26:57.400
thirty four then, But thirty five
was one of those things where I

370
00:26:57.480 --> 00:27:00.279
kind of woke up and I looked
around. I was like, I am

371
00:27:00.319 --> 00:27:04.559
not the big sensation that I thought
I was copy and I'm still which is

372
00:27:04.559 --> 00:27:08.880
good. There's a level of like
I grew up having specific dreams which can

373
00:27:10.079 --> 00:27:14.640
still live in some place, but
as I get older and I'm mature,

374
00:27:14.680 --> 00:27:18.240
and I have to also be realistic
and focus on what's in front of me

375
00:27:18.279 --> 00:27:21.920
as opposed to what I don't have, you know, think about what I

376
00:27:21.920 --> 00:27:25.440
do have as opposed to what I
don't. And so many instants in my

377
00:27:25.480 --> 00:27:30.279
life I look back on little shit
of where I've just so badly wanted to

378
00:27:30.279 --> 00:27:34.960
be tough, but all I end
up doing is just like being nice in

379
00:27:36.000 --> 00:27:41.480
a grumpy way. Like there was
I was walking my dog once and he

380
00:27:41.559 --> 00:27:45.079
was kind of like a challenge.
My last dog. He was, you

381
00:27:45.079 --> 00:27:48.799
know, behaviorally, so he's strong. And my neighborhood was full of dogs

382
00:27:49.920 --> 00:27:53.200
and a lot of cars people just
kind of not paying attention. And this

383
00:27:53.279 --> 00:27:56.960
guy I watched. I stopped with
the dog like a good distance because I

384
00:27:56.960 --> 00:28:00.680
could tell that this guy was not
paying attention. He's like rolling up too

385
00:28:00.680 --> 00:28:03.079
fast to a stop sign and rolls
up to the stop windows down to the

386
00:28:03.079 --> 00:28:08.039
stop sign, hands both hands on
the phone, so maybe driving with the

387
00:28:08.119 --> 00:28:15.000
knee, I'm not sure. Pulls
halfway through a stop sign, comes to

388
00:28:15.119 --> 00:28:18.000
a stop and I'm standing right by
his open window, and if I wasn't

389
00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:22.640
paying attention, he would have hit
me and the dog. And I got

390
00:28:22.680 --> 00:28:26.039
the clear message in my mind of
like, this is your fucking moment,

391
00:28:26.279 --> 00:28:30.599
this is the time for you to
be tough. You gotta tell this guy

392
00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:36.319
off is this is dangerous. He
needs to pay attention. And I go

393
00:28:36.480 --> 00:28:40.960
hey, and he looks over,
but he looks like he was totally to

394
00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:42.039
know I was there. He looks
over like a little kid, like was

395
00:28:42.039 --> 00:28:45.480
like looking at Christmas presence. He's
like, oh, And I wanted to

396
00:28:45.480 --> 00:28:48.359
be like, you're a fucking piece
of shit, and I just said just

397
00:28:49.519 --> 00:28:56.039
drive safe. And then he drove
away. That was like. And as

398
00:28:56.039 --> 00:28:57.799
he left, I was like,
I should have punched him. I should

399
00:28:57.799 --> 00:29:03.119
have done something that it's time to
be tough guy. Yeah, And all

400
00:29:03.160 --> 00:29:08.039
I could come up with was drive
safe. So we got the message across.

401
00:29:08.559 --> 00:29:12.640
Maybe he's listening. I hope he's
listening. And yeah, and Will

402
00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:17.200
wants to tell him not only is
he a fucking piece of shit, but

403
00:29:17.240 --> 00:29:19.839
he should drive safe. I mean
that was the more important message. That's

404
00:29:19.960 --> 00:29:22.039
right. You can be both of
those things, right, Yeah, Like

405
00:29:22.079 --> 00:29:25.640
if you just call him a piece
of shit, he might not have known

406
00:29:26.119 --> 00:29:30.799
he should be driving safe. Right, that's right, Right, I should

407
00:29:30.839 --> 00:29:33.319
get the bumper sticker, drive safe, piece of shit, right, right,

408
00:29:33.160 --> 00:29:37.319
it's a nice thing and then a
backhand, you know, after the

409
00:29:37.359 --> 00:29:41.240
compliment or after the kind suggest I'm
pretty good at calling people out, but

410
00:29:42.559 --> 00:29:45.200
I don't know. And my son's
called me a Karen, and I don't

411
00:29:45.200 --> 00:29:49.559
think that applies. I do not
think I'm a Karen. And I asked

412
00:29:49.640 --> 00:29:55.119
him that's a very speci I know
I am not. I know I am

413
00:29:55.160 --> 00:30:00.680
not a Karen. And I've asked
my students who are in that generation,

414
00:30:00.759 --> 00:30:03.640
am I a Karen? And they
assure me that I'm not. I hope

415
00:30:03.640 --> 00:30:07.240
they're not just saying that yeah to
you know, because I grade them.

416
00:30:07.359 --> 00:30:11.039
But do you constantly ask do you
constantly make like a server at a restaurant's

417
00:30:11.039 --> 00:30:15.920
life? No? No, no, no, okay, but that's one

418
00:30:15.960 --> 00:30:18.880
point. Good. I don't.
I don't do that. I but if

419
00:30:18.920 --> 00:30:23.759
something is wrong, I am not
afraid to call it out. So but

420
00:30:23.799 --> 00:30:26.839
I try to act. I think
that's good. I know I'm assertive.

421
00:30:27.119 --> 00:30:33.680
You know you're trying to be assertive, like, yeah, anyway, this

422
00:30:33.400 --> 00:30:38.400
is not about me, Well,
oh well, it's we can share a

423
00:30:38.440 --> 00:30:42.079
conversation. I think also, because
I like have hosted things for so long,

424
00:30:42.160 --> 00:30:45.119
I also have questions. I'm like, but let's talk about it,

425
00:30:45.319 --> 00:30:48.640
right right. Um, So I
do want to ask you, though,

426
00:30:49.000 --> 00:30:55.599
there's one other thing that you've mentioned
here about, um partying with the Real

427
00:30:55.759 --> 00:31:00.039
Housewives. Did you party with the
Real Housewives? I definitely want to hear

428
00:31:00.039 --> 00:31:04.319
about that. Yeah. Two two
of that well too, one from a

429
00:31:04.680 --> 00:31:11.559
Housewives show and one from a vander
Pump Rules. Okay, and I'm sure

430
00:31:11.599 --> 00:31:15.960
you know where both of these nights
end up. Now, I am somebody

431
00:31:17.039 --> 00:31:22.960
when I partied with this person from
Housewives. I am now out as a

432
00:31:23.079 --> 00:31:30.279
queer man identify as queer. At
the time, this wasn't an idea that

433
00:31:30.319 --> 00:31:33.240
I could make sense to me.
I was still sort of living in this

434
00:31:33.960 --> 00:31:37.640
like trying to make the binary make
sense of like you're either straight or you're

435
00:31:37.680 --> 00:31:38.880
not. You know, or you're
gay or you're not, you're lesbian.

436
00:31:40.279 --> 00:31:41.880
But I had, you know,
friends who are trans and friends who identified

437
00:31:41.839 --> 00:31:45.799
as queer. I'm binding. I
understood some of these things existed, but

438
00:31:45.880 --> 00:31:51.119
I didn't know that I could make
it make sense for myself. And um,

439
00:31:51.559 --> 00:31:52.960
this didn't happen until much later that
I was like, oh, this

440
00:31:53.039 --> 00:32:00.680
is who I am. But part
of the confusion was during this single time

441
00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:06.319
in my ethical slut days, hooking
up with guys and knowing that it was

442
00:32:06.359 --> 00:32:10.079
something that I wanted to do,
but not one hundred percent sure why or

443
00:32:10.079 --> 00:32:13.559
what it meant, but then also
not giving it a lot of thought,

444
00:32:13.559 --> 00:32:15.759
being like, that's just fine.
Let's just like let it be what it

445
00:32:15.839 --> 00:32:22.880
is. And so we go out
for the Brandy Glamville a friend of mine

446
00:32:22.880 --> 00:32:24.680
who has a podcast here on Straw. She I used to produce her show.

447
00:32:24.720 --> 00:32:30.640
Actually she was having a birthday and
my dog had just the same dog

448
00:32:30.680 --> 00:32:34.039
that I was walking the store,
had passed away, maybe two weeks or

449
00:32:34.039 --> 00:32:39.440
so before, so tough time.
He was an important thing in my life

450
00:32:39.440 --> 00:32:44.200
that transitioned sort of got him in
my first marriage. Then he came with

451
00:32:44.240 --> 00:32:46.240
me and we had, you know, our little relationship and he was like

452
00:32:46.279 --> 00:32:50.839
my little copilot for so long.
So it was tough to lose him.

453
00:32:50.839 --> 00:32:53.039
And so another grief period sends me
into the spiral of like, well,

454
00:32:53.119 --> 00:32:59.000
let's time to party and go crazy. And we started at this mascuan food

455
00:32:59.000 --> 00:33:02.079
restaurant. I don't I don't know
if you've ever if you've met or heard

456
00:33:02.079 --> 00:33:07.640
of Brandy, but in her company
and I think she would admit to this.

457
00:33:07.759 --> 00:33:10.960
She can turn it up to like
not just eleven, she can go

458
00:33:12.759 --> 00:33:17.039
it goes higher. And I was
in the zone of being like, whatever

459
00:33:17.119 --> 00:33:21.720
you say, like I'm gonna do
because I just wanted to run away so

460
00:33:21.839 --> 00:33:27.799
much from We're at dinner and she
she goes, hey, guys, I

461
00:33:27.920 --> 00:33:30.200
know it's like, thank you guys
all for coming out for my birthday.

462
00:33:31.359 --> 00:33:35.559
Will's dog just died, so I
feel really bad for him. And I

463
00:33:35.680 --> 00:33:37.200
was like, great, now I
have this attension on me. I don't

464
00:33:37.200 --> 00:33:39.240
know why you needed to say that
in front of all your friends, but

465
00:33:39.279 --> 00:33:44.119
okay. Which one of her friends
was a very handsome, attractive man,

466
00:33:44.640 --> 00:33:52.920
and I remember going to this this
bar where they knew her and loved her,

467
00:33:53.559 --> 00:34:00.480
and we got like free bottle service. I think the manager what they

468
00:34:00.480 --> 00:34:05.000
were They were sharing bumps of not
Brandy, but the manager and certain people

469
00:34:05.039 --> 00:34:07.799
who had sort of tagged along strangers
kind of just end up walking up.

470
00:34:07.839 --> 00:34:10.920
People are doing cocaine in the corner. I may have had some myself that

471
00:34:10.920 --> 00:34:16.440
that's to be determined. We won't
talk about that. And this guy who's

472
00:34:16.480 --> 00:34:22.320
there is I'm just like, this
thing's like a great idea. I really

473
00:34:22.320 --> 00:34:25.800
want to go after this guy.
So he comes home with me and you

474
00:34:25.840 --> 00:34:31.239
know, we do the thing,
and the next morning it's very awkward because

475
00:34:31.239 --> 00:34:37.119
the questions are all like, are
you sure you're straight? And I'm like,

476
00:34:37.119 --> 00:34:42.239
I don't know how to answer this
question, so I guess I'm just

477
00:34:42.519 --> 00:34:46.800
not gonna and then getting a lot
of text messages from this person afterward,

478
00:34:47.000 --> 00:34:50.519
not forever, but you know,
a week or two of like, let's

479
00:34:50.559 --> 00:34:53.239
hang out again, let's say,
and having no clue, you know,

480
00:34:53.280 --> 00:34:58.480
how to handle this thing that I
had put in a box apparently my entire

481
00:34:58.519 --> 00:35:01.039
life, or knew that it was
okay, you know, to feel this

482
00:35:01.039 --> 00:35:07.559
way or have these these these hookups
during my ethical slut days. Um.

483
00:35:07.639 --> 00:35:12.159
And so in a long way around, you know, it's like Brandy and

484
00:35:12.239 --> 00:35:15.840
this wild birthday, and some of
these experiences help lead to the fact that

485
00:35:15.920 --> 00:35:21.519
eventually I become a more confident person. Who can I you know, claim

486
00:35:21.559 --> 00:35:23.599
my identity, come out as that
thing, embrace that thing, live is

487
00:35:23.639 --> 00:35:28.960
that thing. Um. So even
in the wild party days, it can

488
00:35:29.000 --> 00:35:35.639
still lead to some good shit happening
very often, and I think you're lucky.

489
00:35:35.840 --> 00:35:39.760
It's it's fortunate if you can do
this, if you can move I'm

490
00:35:39.760 --> 00:35:45.920
going to get psychological if you can
move through the shit into what you can

491
00:35:46.079 --> 00:35:52.760
learn or create or make sense of
or you know, kind of claim us

492
00:35:52.920 --> 00:35:58.440
as a result of you know,
because like shit's always going to happen,

493
00:35:58.519 --> 00:36:01.239
like really bad shit is going to
happen to us all the time, you

494
00:36:01.280 --> 00:36:07.719
know, somewhere than others. And
um, if we can find a way

495
00:36:07.800 --> 00:36:13.719
to you know, make some meaning
from that, then um, that's the

496
00:36:14.079 --> 00:36:16.159
probably the best thing we can we
can do with it at that point,

497
00:36:17.480 --> 00:36:22.039
right. So yeah, So that
so that was something good that came out

498
00:36:22.039 --> 00:36:25.239
of yea that? Yeah? Yeah, I mean I think good things came

499
00:36:25.280 --> 00:36:29.239
out of out of all of it. I'm somebody who likes to say also,

500
00:36:29.280 --> 00:36:30.400
like, you know, I wouldn't
be who I am in the present

501
00:36:30.440 --> 00:36:35.519
without the past. I like myself, which is helpful. I have my

502
00:36:35.559 --> 00:36:38.920
bad days, obviously, but there's
no I think a lot of people I

503
00:36:38.960 --> 00:36:43.360
feel always feel like people talk about
like what are your biggest regrets? Yeah,

504
00:36:43.400 --> 00:36:49.000
and that's such a I think a
horrible way to look at your own

505
00:36:49.079 --> 00:36:52.360
past, because what can you do
about it? Like what's the point of

506
00:36:52.800 --> 00:36:57.960
Yeah, regret is not you know, is just not helpful? So correct

507
00:36:58.079 --> 00:37:00.679
I don't really have any regrets.
Luckily, there's no past of mine that's

508
00:37:00.719 --> 00:37:07.840
like really violent or crazy or or
you know, horrible. But still there's

509
00:37:07.880 --> 00:37:10.840
like there's the ship that happens to
me or to anybody that you might not

510
00:37:10.880 --> 00:37:14.519
be proud of or embarrassed by,
but at the end of the day,

511
00:37:15.480 --> 00:37:20.079
it still brings you to, you
know, ideally a more complete place,

512
00:37:20.239 --> 00:37:24.920
or at least a place where you're
dedicated to doing the work of becoming better,

513
00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:28.519
becoming stronger, becoming more self aware. And I think you know,

514
00:37:28.519 --> 00:37:31.159
all these experiences are tied to that
as well. I mean, I'm totally

515
00:37:31.199 --> 00:37:35.559
with you on that. Will I
mean, I wish I hadn't dropped the

516
00:37:35.639 --> 00:37:42.400
nail polish on my new page Genom
slacks that were kind of a splurt ruin

517
00:37:42.480 --> 00:37:45.400
it. I literally I came home, I took them off and I put

518
00:37:45.440 --> 00:37:51.800
them on on the counter and I
haven't touched them since because so I don't

519
00:37:51.800 --> 00:37:53.880
know what I'm going to do about
them. But but no, I don't

520
00:37:53.880 --> 00:37:59.800
have any regrets. I try to
try to make something out of everything,

521
00:38:00.159 --> 00:38:02.880
you know, learn a lesson in
everything that I do. Go to bad.

522
00:38:04.079 --> 00:38:07.880
So I've been I've had a very
fortunate life, I have to say,

523
00:38:07.360 --> 00:38:12.920
so, um, have a lot
of privilege and opportunity. But um,

524
00:38:12.960 --> 00:38:17.239
even when shit happens, I'm I
feel so far I've been able to

525
00:38:17.599 --> 00:38:22.159
make something out of that. So
but that's what I tell my clients also.

526
00:38:22.679 --> 00:38:29.119
So yeah, it's not regrets are
just unhelpful. It's like guilt.

527
00:38:29.440 --> 00:38:32.760
It doesn't really help us at all. Right, Well, um, any

528
00:38:32.800 --> 00:38:38.199
other any other shit you want to
talk about or questions you want to ask

529
00:38:38.599 --> 00:38:45.199
me or interview for you. Yeah, Um, the I think it's sort

530
00:38:45.239 --> 00:38:47.639
of saying like the juggling too many
things at once. You know, you're

531
00:38:47.639 --> 00:38:52.159
like, why do I do this? Yeah, I'm somebody who who's very

532
00:38:52.159 --> 00:38:55.079
good at taking on probably more than
I should because of the difficulty of saying

533
00:38:55.119 --> 00:38:58.800
no. So I say yes to
a lot of things and end up overwhelming

534
00:38:58.800 --> 00:39:05.119
myself and don't to let people down. Um, and you know when that

535
00:39:05.119 --> 00:39:07.000
all comes to a head, then
you know, I'm talking to my therapist

536
00:39:07.079 --> 00:39:09.960
and he's saying like, well,
you know, this is sort of what

537
00:39:10.079 --> 00:39:15.519
happens as a result of juggling too
many things at once, and it's the

538
00:39:15.559 --> 00:39:20.760
metaphorical spilling nail polishing myself. Yeah, I guess that that it that it

539
00:39:20.800 --> 00:39:23.599
could be, but I think that
was I mean, I think that's when

540
00:39:23.679 --> 00:39:30.480
I think about being married young and
this shit happening to me at that time.

541
00:39:30.679 --> 00:39:34.239
It's interesting to see it now,
obviously kind of with some clarity,

542
00:39:34.760 --> 00:39:38.639
but to know that that, I
mean, that relationship served its purpose.

543
00:39:38.840 --> 00:39:43.000
But there was plenty of moments in
there where, you know, we can

544
00:39:43.079 --> 00:39:46.920
look back and say like, oh, shit was happening, but I couldn't

545
00:39:46.920 --> 00:39:52.280
see it at the time, and
there was it just it wasn't going to

546
00:39:52.280 --> 00:39:57.440
work, you know, I think
between us and there, there was a

547
00:39:57.440 --> 00:40:01.960
lot of moments that that may it
clear, but it kind of came to

548
00:40:02.039 --> 00:40:12.760
a head when I proposed an open
marriage. And this is a just because

549
00:40:12.800 --> 00:40:15.519
I wasn't ready to say, do
I view our c you know, like

550
00:40:15.559 --> 00:40:19.679
I was like, wow, I
don't know how to let this go.

551
00:40:20.519 --> 00:40:25.960
And the specifics of this we can
leave unknown. But that was a hard

552
00:40:27.239 --> 00:40:31.519
that was a hard thing to learn, or at least learning it the hard

553
00:40:31.559 --> 00:40:38.599
way that an open marriage is not
for me and I. Luckily, when

554
00:40:38.639 --> 00:40:45.079
we kind of came back together to
unpack things, we're able to come to

555
00:40:45.159 --> 00:40:47.039
the conclusion that like, yeah,
you know, we should go our separate

556
00:40:47.079 --> 00:40:52.840
ways and kind of pursue things.
But but in the panic of not wanting

557
00:40:52.880 --> 00:40:57.440
to assert myself or establish you know, say no, basically saying like this

558
00:40:57.599 --> 00:40:59.639
is what I want. What I
want is to get out of this.

559
00:40:59.760 --> 00:41:01.760
I think it's you sound like you
want the same thing. So let me

560
00:41:01.800 --> 00:41:08.159
propose something that well, basically you
know, won't work as a way to

561
00:41:08.199 --> 00:41:13.239
sort of sabotage, not sabotage,
but but in the in the long run,

562
00:41:13.320 --> 00:41:17.800
get us around to where we probably
needed to be anyway. So um,

563
00:41:19.639 --> 00:41:23.079
yeah, I mean I think that, and I'm grateful even too,

564
00:41:23.119 --> 00:41:25.840
you know, for that marriage and
that relationship and that person, because it's

565
00:41:25.880 --> 00:41:29.800
the same thing. You know,
it's the amount of like movies and TVs.

566
00:41:29.800 --> 00:41:30.960
I got my fucking X wife,
my ex husband. I'm like,

567
00:41:31.559 --> 00:41:37.320
it's such a it's such a cliche
of the way that we look at our

568
00:41:37.400 --> 00:41:40.679
exes, but also the way that
we It changed the way that I look

569
00:41:40.679 --> 00:41:45.000
at marriage. I was raised religious
and am no longer, but there is

570
00:41:45.039 --> 00:41:49.880
this sort of holiness associated with with
marriage, and if you get a divorce,

571
00:41:49.960 --> 00:41:52.840
even socially or culturally, I think
people are like there's still a little

572
00:41:52.840 --> 00:41:57.800
bit of the like your damage goods. And when I was going out to

573
00:41:57.920 --> 00:42:02.960
start dating, I hadn't dated ever
since I was seventeen years I didn't date.

574
00:42:02.960 --> 00:42:05.599
I was in high school, like, you know, really date.

575
00:42:05.800 --> 00:42:08.400
So as somebody who's like finally on
tender, like, oh the swipes,

576
00:42:08.840 --> 00:42:13.119
I can't wait to see what this
is all about. It's it's bullshit,

577
00:42:13.280 --> 00:42:19.599
actually, but um coming from from
thinking of it as like a holy institution

578
00:42:19.719 --> 00:42:23.800
of marriage to now sort of having
the opinion that it's just an expensive breakup.

579
00:42:24.119 --> 00:42:30.239
You know, I don't know it
it changed the way that I looked

580
00:42:30.239 --> 00:42:31.800
at things. I'm somebody who when
I make a commitment, I'm going to

581
00:42:32.199 --> 00:42:36.679
do a lot of work to keep
that commitment. But if I'm doing a

582
00:42:36.679 --> 00:42:37.920
lot of work and it's not upheld
on the other side, even when it

583
00:42:37.920 --> 00:42:43.119
comes to friendships or other relationships,
it becomes unsustainable, you know. And

584
00:42:43.199 --> 00:42:46.880
I think a lot of people I
have met much older ages will say things

585
00:42:46.920 --> 00:42:50.920
like, well, well, we
stayed together, you know, because that's

586
00:42:50.920 --> 00:42:52.800
the right thing to do, And
I'm like, so you've just been miserable

587
00:42:52.840 --> 00:42:58.519
for twenty five years. Like there
there is a version of this where it

588
00:42:58.800 --> 00:43:02.800
could have led to some finding of
authenticity and independence. And I'm grateful,

589
00:43:02.920 --> 00:43:06.719
you know that that should happen to
lead me to that place because now I'm

590
00:43:06.960 --> 00:43:09.920
married to a wonderful person and committed
to this person. It's not like,

591
00:43:10.199 --> 00:43:14.400
you know, throwing it away,
like our marriage doesn't mean anything but the

592
00:43:14.480 --> 00:43:21.320
stigma, you know, and how
we kind of feel like me especially like

593
00:43:21.360 --> 00:43:23.880
the failure element of it. You
know, took a minute to sort of

594
00:43:24.039 --> 00:43:29.519
get past, and I mean now
feel good. But but it was interesting.

595
00:43:29.559 --> 00:43:31.199
You know. I obviously didn't anticipate
any of that stuff when I got

596
00:43:31.199 --> 00:43:34.480
married, and to be doing it
at twenty nine, I was like,

597
00:43:34.519 --> 00:43:37.280
I'm too young for this. I
thought people got divorced when they were fifty.

598
00:43:37.679 --> 00:43:42.360
This is not the age that you
get divorced. But again, wouldn't

599
00:43:42.360 --> 00:43:44.840
be me in the present without the
past. So it all worked out.

600
00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:49.480
Yeah, Well, and anyone who
says, you know, I stayed there,

601
00:43:49.800 --> 00:43:52.840
that's they're saying that in a very
high and mighty kind of way,

602
00:43:53.320 --> 00:44:00.119
you know. So you know,
you you do you, buddy, and

603
00:44:00.840 --> 00:44:06.480
you you do you like no one
can like judge um judge it. You

604
00:44:06.519 --> 00:44:09.840
have to do what's what's best for
you. So and you know, in

605
00:44:10.280 --> 00:44:17.280
our culture like childhood sweethearts are highly
romanticized, you know kind of phenomena.

606
00:44:17.440 --> 00:44:22.679
And but it you know, that
doesn't mean you have to stay in something

607
00:44:22.760 --> 00:44:28.880
that is not not good for you. And what you're saying that good for

608
00:44:28.920 --> 00:44:31.760
either of you. So have you
ever seen Go Ahead? No? Not

609
00:44:31.880 --> 00:44:36.920
gone? It's a total other tangent. We don't need to walk down that

610
00:44:37.000 --> 00:44:38.679
road. So off, I know, I was just gonna say, have

611
00:44:38.719 --> 00:44:43.760
you ever seen the movie, Um, I'm sure you have, um Eternal

612
00:44:43.960 --> 00:44:47.400
Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Yeah, yeah, so I where you know

613
00:44:47.440 --> 00:44:52.519
they basically they erase their mind so
they can forget about the other person.

614
00:44:52.039 --> 00:44:58.440
But then they they they won't learn
those lessons that you are that you are

615
00:44:58.480 --> 00:45:01.000
talking about, right, Yeah,
I think that's the I mean, that's

616
00:45:01.000 --> 00:45:06.719
a common thing I think for life
is like people want to do things to

617
00:45:06.800 --> 00:45:08.920
avoid work. And I'm sure you
see this, you know as a therapist,

618
00:45:08.960 --> 00:45:14.320
Like, that's that is the work, right coming and being open to

619
00:45:14.559 --> 00:45:17.599
change and open to work and open
to not having the answers. And we

620
00:45:17.719 --> 00:45:22.480
see it in as big of things
as like psychology, and as little of

621
00:45:22.519 --> 00:45:24.400
things of being like sprinkle this powder
on your hot dogs and you can still

622
00:45:24.440 --> 00:45:30.360
lose weight, you know, like
there's every angle of trying to eliminate the

623
00:45:30.400 --> 00:45:37.280
work, but unfortunately the only thing
that's true about life is that the work

624
00:45:37.719 --> 00:45:39.360
must be done. I mean,
I was thinking this like an hour ago

625
00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:45.440
before I jumped on here. Sometimes
to get personal projects done, you know,

626
00:45:45.480 --> 00:45:47.400
I have to make time or find
time, and I'm realizing, like

627
00:45:47.440 --> 00:45:51.559
there's things that I'm falling behind on
that I want for myself, and the

628
00:45:51.599 --> 00:45:52.800
only way to make it happen sometimes
is like I gotta get up at five

629
00:45:52.840 --> 00:45:55.840
am, you know, I gotta
get up at five thirty in order to

630
00:45:55.880 --> 00:45:59.800
be able to take care of this. I can bitch and moan as much

631
00:45:59.840 --> 00:46:02.199
as I want about how pissed off
I am that other people and other things

632
00:46:02.199 --> 00:46:07.000
are wasting my time in my opinion, but it doesn't change the fact that

633
00:46:07.199 --> 00:46:09.599
those things give me money. So
I don't I mean, I say,

634
00:46:09.599 --> 00:46:14.119
I don't have to do them,
but they help when it comes to paying

635
00:46:14.159 --> 00:46:19.480
pills and paying rent, and so
the personal projects end up getting sometimes the

636
00:46:19.519 --> 00:46:22.800
short end of the stick, and
in order to make them happen, you

637
00:46:22.840 --> 00:46:27.920
know, it's an acceptance of of
humbling myself and knowing like I have to

638
00:46:27.920 --> 00:46:31.920
do the work, and I think
learning life lessons is a big part of

639
00:46:31.960 --> 00:46:37.320
that. I've seen people who are
much older in age who behave like sixteen

640
00:46:37.360 --> 00:46:38.440
year olds, you know, and
I'm like blown away that. I'm like,

641
00:46:38.440 --> 00:46:42.960
Wow, you made it this far
and you're still reacting to these situations.

642
00:46:43.000 --> 00:46:46.079
A Karen would be this in this
scenario, and I don't I don't

643
00:46:46.119 --> 00:46:51.280
think that you know, you have
chosen a profession that I think usually doesn't

644
00:46:51.280 --> 00:46:55.199
go along with Karen. So I
think you should be rest assured that you're

645
00:46:55.480 --> 00:46:59.599
you're you're It's very likely that you
are not a Karen. I'm going to

646
00:46:59.639 --> 00:47:02.239
give you my son's phone number and
you can call him and say, hey,

647
00:47:02.280 --> 00:47:06.119
I just talked to your mother for
like an hour and she is not

648
00:47:06.239 --> 00:47:13.199
a parent, so you stop calling
her that exactly. Yeah. Well,

649
00:47:13.320 --> 00:47:16.000
well, I really enjoy talking to
you. I want to thank you so

650
00:47:16.079 --> 00:47:21.039
much for coming on, and I
want to wish you a lot of luck

651
00:47:21.079 --> 00:47:27.679
with your all of your projects,
your podcast History Rated R, your upcoming

652
00:47:27.719 --> 00:47:32.280
novel, Fame by Misadventure, and
all of the other, all the other

653
00:47:32.320 --> 00:47:40.239
things any anywhere else we can see
you in the near future. No upcoming

654
00:47:42.280 --> 00:47:45.880
film or TV projects. Currently,
I was in a feature film called The

655
00:47:45.920 --> 00:47:51.079
Dinner Parting, which has made its
festival circuit run so nice. I'm hoping

656
00:47:51.360 --> 00:47:53.559
within twenty twenty three will be the
year that you know, it'll be on

657
00:47:53.599 --> 00:47:58.800
Amazon or Hulu or whatever where people
can constume they're working out the deal.

658
00:47:58.960 --> 00:48:02.719
But if people want to take notes
about the thing, it's like I have

659
00:48:02.800 --> 00:48:07.880
these things have coming up that aren't
released. So if people like these dumb

660
00:48:07.880 --> 00:48:10.719
stories that I told or the tambre
of my voice, and they want to

661
00:48:12.239 --> 00:48:15.360
know more about me, take out
your yellow legal pad and write down the

662
00:48:15.440 --> 00:48:19.239
name of my book and the name
of my movie, The Dinner Party,

663
00:48:19.400 --> 00:48:22.840
and be sure to google it periodically
until it becomes available. I think I

664
00:48:22.920 --> 00:48:28.239
think that's reasonable. It's a request. But like I said, life is

665
00:48:28.280 --> 00:48:31.360
work. Yeah, so don't fucking
dodge the work. Listeners, do the

666
00:48:31.400 --> 00:48:37.639
work and support me, don't.
It's about my value. Be a fucking

667
00:48:37.679 --> 00:48:40.719
asshole whatever. Whatever That guy was
who yes, exactly, but Drive said,

668
00:48:40.800 --> 00:48:45.760
yeah, yeah, okay, that
was Will Sterling on this show today,

669
00:48:45.039 --> 00:48:50.159
And um, Maggie, he's a
friend of yours. Huh he is,

670
00:48:50.239 --> 00:48:52.119
Yeah, we've known each other for
a long time. We met in

671
00:48:52.199 --> 00:48:57.360
college. Nice, so um.
So you've known him like all through like

672
00:48:57.760 --> 00:49:02.880
those days he was talking about being
marriage was childhood sweetheart and unfortunately getting divorced

673
00:49:02.960 --> 00:49:07.239
and everything like that. Yeah,
he's actually he's one of Ryan's best friends.

674
00:49:07.480 --> 00:49:12.960
So I really know him more because
of Ryan. Although I knew Will

675
00:49:13.000 --> 00:49:16.199
and I knew each other before Ryan
and I were an item because we all

676
00:49:16.280 --> 00:49:20.440
kind of hunk. We all they
were in the film department. Yeah,

677
00:49:20.440 --> 00:49:22.079
Will was in the film department.
They were in the film department together,

678
00:49:22.119 --> 00:49:27.039
and one of my close friends is
close with them, and so there was

679
00:49:27.039 --> 00:49:30.639
this kind of whole group of group
of us. But yeah, I did.

680
00:49:30.679 --> 00:49:36.920
I knew his first wife and was
there for that. I didn't go.

681
00:49:36.960 --> 00:49:38.840
I think Ryan was at the wedding. Maybe maybe not. I don't

682
00:49:38.880 --> 00:49:43.239
know when they got married exactly,
but but yeah, I've seen a lot.

683
00:49:43.280 --> 00:49:46.400
I've seen a lot of it.
And I have the the the group

684
00:49:46.599 --> 00:49:52.400
chat text message that he referenced in
his story when he hitchhiked over Laurel Canyon.

685
00:49:52.639 --> 00:49:55.199
So I pulled it up during the
interview to look at it, and

686
00:49:55.239 --> 00:49:59.239
I was like, yeah, there
it is, and the response from the

687
00:49:59.400 --> 00:50:02.719
group chat was was very funny.
Let's hear. It was like, what

688
00:50:02.760 --> 00:50:06.960
are you talking about? Why hasn't
done this? You want to hear the

689
00:50:07.000 --> 00:50:09.679
message I do, or you want
to hear the responses both. I want

690
00:50:09.679 --> 00:50:14.719
to hear already heard the story.
I suppose one thing he left out I

691
00:50:14.760 --> 00:50:21.480
can tell you is that he had
stopped at Jack in the Box on the

692
00:50:21.519 --> 00:50:24.119
walk and so he did eat something
on the way. Okay, oh,

693
00:50:24.199 --> 00:50:30.519
and some seven eleven tikidos when he
got home. Did you all think,

694
00:50:30.599 --> 00:50:32.440
like, what the hells are wrong
with you? Will? That you would

695
00:50:32.440 --> 00:50:38.119
do such a thing? Um?
Well, our friend Arturou said, wow,

696
00:50:38.159 --> 00:50:42.000
good luck on the toilet Maniana.
I guess after the Jack in the

697
00:50:42.039 --> 00:50:45.920
Box and the tikidos? Yeah,
Will said he had been on a Hobbits

698
00:50:46.000 --> 00:50:53.039
journey. Um what else? Our
friend Jill said, file under multiple things

699
00:50:53.039 --> 00:51:01.400
a woman should probably never ever attempt. I asked, did you walk Dave

700
00:51:01.440 --> 00:51:05.920
and have a shot when you got
home? And he did? He said

701
00:51:05.920 --> 00:51:07.559
he did walk a dog when he
got home. The dog's name is but

702
00:51:07.679 --> 00:51:12.719
no, Dave was Dave. That
was his old dog, Yeah, Okave

703
00:51:12.880 --> 00:51:16.559
Dave. Another friend Sam said,
I don't really remember the plot of Homeward

704
00:51:16.599 --> 00:51:21.360
Bound two Lost in San Francisco.
But I think it's basically that. So

705
00:51:22.239 --> 00:51:24.480
that was that was how that was
the responses he got from our group chat

706
00:51:25.239 --> 00:51:31.400
Okay after he shared his journey.
Yeah, so I think, you know,

707
00:51:32.000 --> 00:51:38.119
kind of like um Noam who shared
a lot of stories after have you

708
00:51:38.159 --> 00:51:44.280
know, um maybe drank too much
and making you know, poor decisions.

709
00:51:44.920 --> 00:51:50.920
Um, yeah, I think that
he's he has. So the episode kind

710
00:51:50.920 --> 00:51:54.079
of you know, turned a little
bit talking about all of these like ha

711
00:51:54.079 --> 00:52:00.199
ha funny things like he almost got
murdered because he was hitchhiking to eat.

712
00:52:00.239 --> 00:52:05.400
Philosophical you know, questions about you
know, what we can learn from our

713
00:52:05.440 --> 00:52:10.079
mistakes and meaning we can draw and
you know, I wouldn't be my present

714
00:52:10.159 --> 00:52:15.360
self without my past self, so
you know, um yeah, so I

715
00:52:15.400 --> 00:52:22.519
got to kind of flex my my
humor and my psychology muscles in the episode

716
00:52:22.559 --> 00:52:25.559
with Will today, which was all
great. Yeah I think so. And

717
00:52:25.639 --> 00:52:30.559
you know Will is also one to
to wax philosophical, so for sure I

718
00:52:30.599 --> 00:52:34.360
think he was. He was really
in a day game today too, So

719
00:52:34.440 --> 00:52:37.199
I think it was a good It
was a good conversation. Yeah, it

720
00:52:37.280 --> 00:52:42.400
was great. So everyone should look
for his podcast history Rated R and his

721
00:52:42.559 --> 00:52:50.719
novel fame by misadventure, and the
dinner parting is maybe the movie, isn't

722
00:52:50.719 --> 00:52:53.119
that? What was called dinner party? I think dinner party party, but

723
00:52:53.400 --> 00:52:57.519
it sounded like he stretched that word
out, but I could be wrong.

724
00:52:58.119 --> 00:53:01.679
Dinner party. Well, A good
way I'd say to to keep up with

725
00:53:01.760 --> 00:53:06.800
him would be to go and follow
him on Instagram, and he is Will

726
00:53:06.960 --> 00:53:10.599
Sterling underscore I think, Yeah,
there's an underscore at the end. But

727
00:53:10.639 --> 00:53:13.920
you'll know, you'll see him.
There's a little you know, there's like

728
00:53:13.920 --> 00:53:19.079
a fur coat picture, that's a
picture of his new Frankenstein tattoo. Let's

729
00:53:19.119 --> 00:53:23.559
get some picks with with a eyeliner. You'll you'll you'll know it's him when

730
00:53:23.559 --> 00:53:27.440
you see it. You know.
Well, I will say I almost mentioned

731
00:53:27.480 --> 00:53:30.960
this to him and then just opted
not. But when I googled him,

732
00:53:31.719 --> 00:53:36.639
there are some there are some,
um, you know, nice pictures of

733
00:53:36.679 --> 00:53:40.239
Will. He's a nice looking guy. And and there's there's there's one picture

734
00:53:40.559 --> 00:53:45.800
like kind of with his shirt open
and looks like maybe he did some like

735
00:53:46.800 --> 00:53:50.039
you know, he works out.
It could tell that he Let's just put

736
00:53:50.039 --> 00:53:53.000
it that way. You could tell
that Will works out, and he does

737
00:53:53.039 --> 00:53:57.320
work out. Yeah, so maybe
he did some modeling too. In his

738
00:53:58.519 --> 00:54:02.639
he he did a lot of pause
playing as a Superman. Actually, oh

739
00:54:02.679 --> 00:54:06.760
so he got pretty buff for a
while. He's he's he's tooped it down

740
00:54:06.800 --> 00:54:08.639
a little bit in recent years,
but he did. He did get really

741
00:54:08.679 --> 00:54:15.119
into fitness and does does a pretty
convincing Superman. So well, yeah,

742
00:54:15.199 --> 00:54:19.599
I'm gonna have to I'm gonna have
to follow up with him about about that

743
00:54:19.639 --> 00:54:24.000
Superman. So I'm like, okay, yeah, all right, yeah.

744
00:54:24.039 --> 00:54:30.800
Well thanks Maggie, and thanks everyone, and we'll see you next time.

745
00:54:31.360 --> 00:54:35.880
Thanks for listening to my ship.
I really appreciate it. Come back and

746
00:54:36.000 --> 00:54:38.039
hear more shit next time on the
Ship that Happens to Me podcast? Do

747
00:54:38.079 --> 00:54:43.639
you think I've said shit enough for
one podcast episode? Tune in next time

748
00:54:43.800 --> 00:54:52.519
to the Ship that Happens to Me
Podcasts. You Got a Baby