May 11, 2023
Ethical Slut

In Episode 78 of The SH*T That Happens to Me, Stacey talks to actor, writer, and podcast host Will Sterling about the perils of getting home drunk and partying with reality TV stars.
In Episode 78 of The SH*T That Happens to Me, Stacey talks to actor, writer, and podcast host Will Sterling about the perils of getting home drunk and partying with reality TV stars.
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Hi everyone, Stacy. Here,
I am collecting everyone's favorite episodes and stories
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from the Shit that Happens to Me
podcast, And not only that, if
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you send me an email with your
favorite story from the show, I'm going
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to send you a T shirt or
a sweatshirt or a zip up or a
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hoodie because I have all of this
merch left over. So please, I
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mean, you can feel free to
send me your favorite story anyway, because
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I would love to know. But
send me an email to the Shit that
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Happens to Me at gmail dot com
and or send me a message on Instagram
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and let me know what your favorite
story is from the show, and I
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will send you some shit merch.
So do that right now. Shit happens,
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bad shit, good shit, crazy
shit, and it usually happens when
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we least expect it. So tune
into the Shit that Happens to Me podcast
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and hear me and everyone I meet
tell they're shitty stories. You'll laugh,
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you'll cry. You probably won't cry. Why would you cry? These are
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mostly funny stories. You'll learn a
few lessons, probably not. It's definitely
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not that kind of podcast, but
you will have a great time. Honestly,
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you can't make this shit up.
Hi. Everyone. Will Sterling is
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on the show today. You may
know him from his podcast History Rated R.
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He is an actor and a writer
and he is good friends with Maggie
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and Ryan from Straw Hut. So
he came on the show today to talk
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about his drunken youth, although he
was a little older than a youth when
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he went through when he went through
it, So he tells us stories about
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hitch hiking, drunk and going on
a motor scooter or maybe it wasn't a
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motor scooter or drunk. There's a
theme here partying with Brandy Glanville from Real
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Housewives. So um, stick around. Um, it's a really it's a
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really great episode. We got a
little philosophical too. It's all good.
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So um. Here he is Will
Sterling. I am so excited to be
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here today with my guest, Will
Sterling. Hi, Will, how are
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you good? How are you?
And I'm very good? Thank you so
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glad that you could be here today
on the Ship that Happens to Me podcast.
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Yeah. So I have a I
have a small a small confession,
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not confession, but thing to say
that when I first Maggie first invite your
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your producer invited me to be on
the show. She sent your name and
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it was Stacy ny but for whatever
reason in my brain, I read it
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as Stacy New Year's Eve. Yes, so I started thinking, like,
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your hip hop name was Stacy Nye, Stacy New Year's Eve. I don't
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know why for I don't know two
weeks and then I only got an email
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from you, and I was like, oh, it's a regular, it's
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a it's not no. I love
it name. It's a real last name.
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I love that you think I have
a hip hop name, and now
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I do Stacy New Year's Eve Stacy. Ye. I love it because you
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know, around mid December when all
of the signs go up about New Year's
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Eve, and ye, my husband
and I are inundated with all of these
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like pictures of the billboards. Oh
look they're celebrating you guys on December thirty
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first. So yeah, well there
you go. It's all it's meant to
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be. But I love that Stacy
New Year's Eve. So yeah. So
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um so will you are a friend
of Maggie's Is that right? That's right?
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Yeah, I know Maggie for a
long time, and and you are
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a writer and a director and actor, sort of the jack of all trades,
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master of none. You know,
I'm one of those people who was
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like, I'm in LA, I'm
doing any all the things entertainment related,
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including podcasting. So that's awesome.
I am in Milwaukee doing none of those
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things. But I am podcasting.
He's doing the podcast. I'm podcasting.
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Yeah, not writing or acting or
directing or producing or anything like that.
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Creating. I'm creating. So maybe
so we're going to get into the ship
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in a few moments, but maybe
you can give the listeners just a little
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background on your different projects and things
like that. Yeah, I in stars,
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podcasting goes. I've been in the
industry for eight years now, started
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in two thousand and fifteen, actually
April twenty fifteen, so here we are.
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Was in radio before that, so
as a day as day jobs go.
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Been in broadcast and podcasting for for
quite some time. But you're like
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twenty writing is sorry, you look
like twenty. I'm thirty five, but
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thank you. Well, I'm gonna
put that in my pocket and I'm going
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to unfold it later. I uh. But you know, in LA,
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with acting and writing, as anything
goes, it's like it's it's just a
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hustle until something happens. So,
um, Maggie's husband and a good friend
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of mine, UM Ryan Tillotson who
runs straw Hat Media as you know,
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and our mutual pile Alex Wall We
you know, have just been working on
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projects since college. We've been friends
for a really long time. So,
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you know, between shorts and an
Instagram series and some features that we've written
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that we're in pre production on,
keeping busy and then um on my own
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writing scripts as well, and then
have a novel coming out this summer,
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so that's exciting and just plugging away. And your novel is called The Fame
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Fame by Misadventure, Right, what
kind of novel is that? What is
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that about? It's a dark satire
sort of an analysis, humorous analysis of
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our every worship culture when it comes
to reality TV and sort of how we
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consume media, especially in new media
like this, and and sort of by
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extension, how we consume human beings. Basically, like it's easy to other
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than them, and because they're on
television almost think that what they're dealing with
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is not real or it doesn't matter
because they're famous or they're rich, or
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they're successful or whatever it is,
and I think that there's a there's a
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fine line between how that you know, it can be entertaining, but also
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it can affect their real lives and
our real lives because we sort of lose
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our grip on how we contribute to
when people like that suffer, you know,
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like a Britney Spears or something like
that. There's an element to which
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when shit was going down for her, you know, people are like,
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oh, she's just crazy, you
know, she's losing her mind. But
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you know, minus the entire media
and public and everybody who just consumed her
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until the point of, you know, just bringing her to a breaking point.
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So I think the audience also has
a responsibility and some of that stuff
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as well. And so it's a
it's funny but also very sad. Yeah,
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so it's a it's a balance.
Yeah, dark thus dark satire,
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Yes exactly. Yeah. And you're
you have a podcast, as you mentioned,
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called History Rated R. So it
is h and I know we can
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say shit on this podcast. Is
there are there words that are off limits
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we can say? Well, I
have personal words that are off limits that
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I emailed you, Bob. But
yeah, yeah, no, we can
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say shit, we can say fuck, We can say whatever we want.
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Great, those two those two are
the are the but history rated r's there's
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a lot of the F word on
there, and so um, it's uh,
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it's fun. I started. My
co host is a seventy eight year
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old former presidential speechwriter, and he's
an old school conservative, um, which
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makes for a fun balance because I'm
a young liberal. But he's not a
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Trump you know, conservat it's he
believes in things like climate change in gun
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control. So we have our disagreements
where it happens, but also our common
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ground. And it's fun, I
think between the two of us sort of
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the different perspectives. But also he's
very, very wise and intelligent. So
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he brings the history and I bring
the blue color commentary. Nice. That
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sounds like fun. Yeah, okay, so um, So apparently you have
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had some shit happened to you,
like along along the way, you know,
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as you've been you know in the
your connective word, yes and trying
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to find yourself and something about you
know, being in your twenties. So
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let's let's hear some let's hear some
of that what you got for me today?
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I was married young, and I
didn't it was my to my high
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school sweetheart that we started dating when
I was seventeen, she was sixteen,
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And I was raised religious and there
was a lot of came from a small
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town. So marrying that person was
like the greatest thing anyone could ever do.
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You know, like, if you
marry your high school sweetheart, this
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is like a gift from God basically, and no one tells you that.
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Emotionally, you're probably not prepared to
confront, well not confront, but but
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enter into a marriage with some experience
under your belt. Obviously you know you're
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I'm young. So married at twenty
two and was divorced at twenty nine,
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and so the twenties are usually a
time when everybody sort of lives their best
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life and figures their shit out and
makes their mistakes and has their their drunken
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antics and as my current spouse calls
it, ethical slut people, and in
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your time in life, maybe if
you're open to that thing, you you
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know, there's no shame. I
missed all that, and so starting pretty
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much at twenty nine, it was
off to the races. And as Maggie
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could attest to and Ryan, um, I was a bit of a mess.
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But but there were some funny stories
and some important life lessons that were
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learned along the way, and there
was a lot of there was a lot
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of drinking involved in these decisions,
which is, um, you know here,
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I'm going to cheers to that.
Yeah, right, meet you.
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I'll cheers also because I've learned.
You know, I've learned, and just
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you know, we can kind of
expand obviously as we go. But it
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was I've been to a lot of
therapy as well, so you know,
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you emailed me and I was like, we can get as nitty gritty as
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you want or keep it as loose, but a lot of therapy went a
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long way, and I was especially
when it came to therapy. I was
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surprised at my therapist. I was
like smoking a lot of cigarettes and drinking
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a bunch and was shot nervous about
like admitting to him like, hey,
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I'm really kind of like not taking
great care of myself because I'm going through
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this thing. And so finally when
I sort of brought that out into the
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open, he's like, if that's
what you need right now, that's okay.
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And I was like, what,
who gets You're giving me permission to
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do something that it's usually typically so
associated with shame, you know, personal
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shame when it comes to it,
And so I did things like I decided
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drunkenly hitchhiking was a good idea and
got picked up by a man coming home
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from a construction site and his best
friend and realized immediately like this could end
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in my murder if the movies and
television shows are correct. But I'd gone
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to a concert and my phone died
and I had forgotten to program in to
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lift my new home address, and
it dropped me off at my old home
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address where I lived when I was
married, and I was like, hey,
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man, I can't this isn't where
I live. And he's like,
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uh, it's too bad. You
gotta get out. My phone was dead.
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Oh no, So for whatever reason, yeah, I got out and
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I was standing there and I was
like, okay, what's my game plan?
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Very very hammered logic coming through now
my brain. And the first thing
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that popped my man is like,
just start walking. Just start walking,
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see how far you can get.
Maybe you can make it on Laurel Canyon,
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which I got really far. Actually
from that place to my new place
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was probably about eight miles, oh
yeah, which would be a really long
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walk. Yeah if even if you
weren't drunk. Um. So I and
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I was wearing like boot that was
not I was not prepared to make this
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walk like fancy going out boots.
I was at a concert trying to look
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cute. But the first good idea
was that I should start walking. So
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I started walking, and the hitchhiking
had not occurred to me yet. I
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was convinced that I could walk over
Laurel Canyon, which once that became very
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dangerous. Then hitchhiking became a good
idea. But I do remember there's this
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um, there's this disparagement of the
valley when it comes to Los Angeles.
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People like the valley. And I
remember I was walking up I had made
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it past. I was on Melrose, going up past Melrose, and a
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guy was coming out of some building
doing something and I said hey, man,
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and he looked at me like kind
of scared, and I was like,
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hey, you going to the valley
and he goes no, and then
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drives away. So I was like, Okay, I guess I'm not.
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I guess I can't get a ride
from a stranger, from a kind stranger.
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So I get to Lorel Canyon and
it's twisty turney and very dark,
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and I realized, like, I'd
probably get hit by a car if I
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do this on foot. So I
was like, you know what, I
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should just stick the thumb out like
like I've seen people do, you know,
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and maybe a kind motorist will pull
over and pick me up. This
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car truck finally does, and this
guy coming home from the site and his
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buddy and a dogger in the back, and he takes a left turn up
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a part of like in the Hollywood
Hills where it gets twisty turney and all
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the houses are and things, kind
of off of Laurel Canyon, and I
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was like, oh man, we
immediately detoured to the creepy, scary,
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distant part and I think this is
probably where I'm going to die. Maybe
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I should get my life together as
as the time goes on, and there's
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a dog. There's a dog in
the back and he has his head on
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my lap, and I remember,
hey, you have a really this is
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a really sweet dog, and nobody
acknowledged it or said anything, and I
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was like, this, that means
that means death. Yeah, lets his
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buddy out, Yeah, yeah,
come on, acknowledge the dog if you
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acknowledge the dog. Then I think
I'm gonna be okay. Um ends up
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taking his buddy to his car,
where he parked somewhere where it was free
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to park. His buddy and the
dog get out like okay, moved to
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the front and it's dead quiet,
and as we go down the other side
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of the hill, you know,
there's like little small talk like hey,
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what do you do for work?
And he's like, oh, I work
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at constructions, you know, management
or whatever, and I gotta be up
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tomorrow again at four thirty. And
then it's quiet for like ten minutes and
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he pulls into a CBS parking lot
and like I could tell that he was
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also scared, like, oh,
maybe I also made a mistake. I
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don't know. Maybe the hitchhiker in
this twist, this turn of events is
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the one who murders me. And
he looks over me. He's like,
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hey, you cool here, I
need you to get out. And I
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was like, i was still like
two miles away from home, and I
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was like I'm just a little bit
that way. He's like, I this
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is good, and I was like
okay, yeah, I mean he did
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he did me a solid and saved
me from being struck by a vehicle walking
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over the dangerous part of the Lord. I don't know if you've spent any
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time in Los Angeles and you know
Laurel Canyon, but it's not that's not
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a wise move to walk up that
road, even in the daytime. So
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I was like, I acknowledged the
I acknowledge the help walk the rest of
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the way home. Immediately put this
in the group chat, and everybody was
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like, you're crazy, what are
you doing? And it's like, there's
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been a lot of little moments of
these stupid shit that happens to me that
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are clear that they're happening because of
grief or sadness or other things. And
220
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it took some time to come around
to h to accepting that that was a
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big part of the reason and not
just that I was having a great time.
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Yeah, you know, well,
I think you make a good point,
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and I think what I've maybe never
acknowledged on the on the three years
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I've done this podcast is often,
not always, but often shit happens to
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certain people because we put ourselves in
situations where shit is bound to happen right
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now. Sometimes it's out of grief
or trauma, or you know, um,
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just you know, unfortunate circumstances that
we're in. But other times it's
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it's because we're just not we're not
thinking clearly, we're not we're not being
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you know, we're not using our
we're not using our wise mind, which
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is psychological term when we're making certain
decisions. So yeah, I mean that's
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that's really true. And there's a
lot of instances like that. But you
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didn't get murdered, so that's amazing. And I did not get murdered,
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not get murdered, and the truck
driver thought you were going to murder him,
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so yeah, yeah, so um
other other examples of things you did
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you know back then besides drunk chik
drink, Yeah, exactly. Well,
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and unfortunately, like some of these
stories do involve a one time I drunkenly
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took a school and this is always
like what this became the pattern of like,
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okay, this, we're using this, and I think this was like
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a big deal. And I think
a learning point for me was self medication.
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Not knowing that that's a real thing
that people do. That doesn't necessarily
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mean like, oh this is going
to be a problem for the rest of
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my life, but it's for sure
a problem right now. And it was
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always not always, but oftentimes I'd
find myself away from home and sort of
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stuck in this position of of needing
to get back and feeling sort of I
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guess maybe you know there's some there's
some kind of strandedness connection to too,
246
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I guess my emotional state. But
it was out for a joint bachelor bachelorette
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party and they had this big limit
of taking everybody around. It was great
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ended at this bar. Everybody goes
their separate ways. This is I don't
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know if you have ever taken a
lift or on uber during like when there
250
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were surge prices, and you would
you know, you look for a car
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at some point during the day and
it could be seven dollars, and then
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you could look during this window of
high traffic time and it would be like
253
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forty eight dollars. Yeah, And
this is the time of like when the
254
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lime scooters and everything were very,
very popular, and I was like,
255
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I'm paying forty eight dollars to go
home. Now I'm still in the valley
256
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at this point, and apparently all
these stories start with me on the other
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side of the hill and end with
me ending up back in the valley and
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the best idea that I had at
the time was to take a Lime scooter
259
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over the Koanga Pass another to nine
miles to get home. And I unlocked
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the scooter, I get on it
and fall embarrassingly drunken immediately, but it
261
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was like a noodle weird sort of
fall, and I was wearing what I
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felt like was like a really nice
jacket, so I didn't want to mess
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it up. So it was almost
like a slow motion like ah as.
264
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I kind of just rolled onto the
ground, get up, sort of dust
265
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myself off, look around. There's
nobody there, and consciously think to myself,
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I cannot do this again. If
I do this again, some cop
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somewhere is going to see me fall
in this way and I'm going to get
268
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arrested or I'm going to get a
you know, what would be the ticket
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if you were scootering intoxicated? Is
that still drunken disorderly? Maybe if you're
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going thirteen miles an hour. And
so I just told myself, I was
271
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like, you can't do that again, and I didn't. I in this
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in this weird little, you know, scootery way, make it over the
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hill seven and a half or so
miles, going almost entirely uphill at like
274
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seven miles an hour, and get
pretty close to home and the battery dies.
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Pick up a dozen donuts to eat
out of the box as I continue
276
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my walk home. Um. The
lesson learned, I think, continues to
277
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be the same um waking up with
bruises and not knowing how I got them,
278
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and things like this, and and
and having to piece back some of
279
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the pieces of of of these evenings
of of of how did I how did
280
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I get back? Why you know? Why have I done this? Why
281
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did this happen? Um? I
think the fun part of a lot of
282
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the shit that happens to me is
the shit that I kind of do to
283
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myself. I don't know how much. I'm sure there's plenty of external shit.
284
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I know there's plenty of external shit, but I have I do have
285
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a good reputation of the the shit
that I do to myself self flagellation you
286
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mean afterwards, yes, exactly,
Yeah, yeah, I can say.
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I mean this isn't quite as you
know, extreme as drunken hitchhiking. But
288
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last week I was getting my nails
done and I was trying to figure out
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what color to get, and I
was opening all of these bottles of nail
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polish. And I do this thing
where I hold too many things at one
291
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time. I don't know if you
do that. Like the phone. My
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00:21:27.799 --> 00:21:32.839
phone is always in my hand,
you know, it could probably it should
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just be glued to my hand.
But I was looking at pictures and I
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was looking at a nail bottle of
nail polish, and I was also holding
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all of the you know, when
you go get your nails done. Don't
296
00:21:45.039 --> 00:21:48.839
know if you know this. They
paint nail polish on all these little fake
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00:21:48.960 --> 00:21:55.039
nails and they come in like these
plastic things, and there's several of them
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00:21:55.279 --> 00:22:00.359
on like a ring. So I'm
holding all three of these things at once.
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I don't know why this is what
I do. And the nail polish,
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of all things, I mean,
glad not my phone goes flying all
301
00:22:07.920 --> 00:22:11.559
of a sudden, it to slip
flop, flies out of my hand and
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00:22:12.200 --> 00:22:19.119
falls to the ground and splatters nail
polish everywhere, which on the floor,
303
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on the on the desk, you
know, not a big deal. On
304
00:22:23.079 --> 00:22:27.839
my clothes, my nice clothes,
you know, like stuff like that.
305
00:22:29.000 --> 00:22:33.240
So so then I'm like, why
do I do that? Why do I?
306
00:22:33.720 --> 00:22:37.680
Why must I hold everything? It's
a balancing act all at once.
307
00:22:37.799 --> 00:22:41.400
So do you do what? What
did you do? You feel like you
308
00:22:41.440 --> 00:22:45.119
are able to sort of walk back
why you do that? You know,
309
00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:48.559
like, what what do you have
your own? Oh, we're gonna get
310
00:22:48.599 --> 00:22:52.119
psychological here. Why do I do
that? I mean, like, that's
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00:22:52.119 --> 00:22:56.119
just my first question is I'm like, You're like, why do I do
312
00:22:56.160 --> 00:22:57.640
this? And and so then my
question is, yeah, why why do
313
00:22:57.759 --> 00:23:03.119
you do it? You know?
Like what? Yeah, I don't know.
314
00:23:03.240 --> 00:23:07.680
I think there is an answer right
now. I'm not the host back
315
00:23:07.720 --> 00:23:11.759
off, no, but I will
say there is a part of me and
316
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I recognize this and I try really
hard to not do this so much.
317
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But but maybe that's a lie.
Because I do have this podcast called The
318
00:23:19.559 --> 00:23:23.240
Shit That Happens to Me. There's
a part of me that maybe enjoys,
319
00:23:25.079 --> 00:23:29.000
you know, um, sometimes being
a little flighty, Like I'm like a
320
00:23:29.079 --> 00:23:32.720
smart person, okay, but it's
also fun to be a little flighty sometimes,
321
00:23:32.759 --> 00:23:36.880
like ha, look at this,
I'm there's things flying, you know,
322
00:23:37.160 --> 00:23:40.680
all around. Yeah, but I
don't know, that's the best I
323
00:23:40.680 --> 00:23:45.480
can come up with at the moment. That's fair. I did put you
324
00:23:45.559 --> 00:23:49.920
up. That's what I do.
So that's cool, Okay, it's and
325
00:23:49.960 --> 00:23:55.319
so I, I, uh,
what was the I just out of curiosity,
326
00:23:55.359 --> 00:23:56.680
I think listening to some of the
episodes and stuff. What was the
327
00:23:57.160 --> 00:24:03.839
big inspiration for starting this show?
Did you feel like you were accumulating shit
328
00:24:03.960 --> 00:24:06.920
that was happening to you and you
wanted to know what other people were going
329
00:24:06.920 --> 00:24:10.759
to kind of go into it.
The inspiration was mostly that I could just
330
00:24:10.799 --> 00:24:15.400
tell my shit, but but no, it was also to hear other people's
331
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shit. So I had this and
and often the ship that happens to me
332
00:24:18.759 --> 00:24:22.279
is good shit, you know,
like funny, good good stuff. Like
333
00:24:22.680 --> 00:24:26.440
yeah, like I managed. I
didn't think that, like, oh maybe
334
00:24:26.440 --> 00:24:29.960
I could have thought of the positive
shit. I only think about negative.
335
00:24:30.039 --> 00:24:36.319
I know, I know, but
um, I managed to um get myself
336
00:24:36.440 --> 00:24:41.720
on stage UM with I don't know
if you if you've heard of um um
337
00:24:41.960 --> 00:24:48.000
my favorite murder UM. Karen Kilgarriff
and Georgia Hartstark before COVID were doing all
338
00:24:48.039 --> 00:24:51.680
these live shows and you know,
they were, you know, really popular,
339
00:24:52.279 --> 00:24:56.079
and they did a live show in
Milwaukee and I managed to get myself
340
00:24:56.079 --> 00:25:02.359
on stage with them for to tell
like my hometown murder story. And you
341
00:25:02.400 --> 00:25:03.720
know, it was like the kind
of thing where I kind of like I
342
00:25:03.759 --> 00:25:07.680
felt like I made it happen,
like I I willed the whole thing and
343
00:25:08.319 --> 00:25:14.319
got on stage and told a story
that that everyone thought. I mean,
344
00:25:14.519 --> 00:25:17.920
I mean everyone laughs when you're up
there anyway, But um, I told
345
00:25:17.920 --> 00:25:21.559
the story, and Karen and Georgia
talked about me and my story for days
346
00:25:21.680 --> 00:25:26.319
afterwards, and um, a lot
of people in Milwaukee like heard it and
347
00:25:26.759 --> 00:25:30.799
talked about you know. I mean, if you didn't listen to the podcast,
348
00:25:30.880 --> 00:25:33.000
you didn't still didn't know who I
was. But so but when that
349
00:25:33.119 --> 00:25:40.000
happened and kind of um got got
some small time notoriety, I thought,
350
00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:42.119
oh, well, this is the
time to start a podcast because this is
351
00:25:42.160 --> 00:25:47.359
the kind of shit that happens to
me. You know, I got myself
352
00:25:47.359 --> 00:25:49.920
on stage. So yeah, the
good ship, the good shit? Do
353
00:25:49.960 --> 00:25:53.920
you do you find that? Yeah? You need a balance, do guess
354
00:25:56.160 --> 00:25:59.400
how Now I'm like, wait,
I should think of a good story,
355
00:25:59.519 --> 00:26:03.440
some good shit that happened to me, just so I can balance out some
356
00:26:03.519 --> 00:26:06.880
of the bad shit. It's mostly
bad shit that people tell me. I
357
00:26:06.880 --> 00:26:12.160
mean, it's mostly like you know, yeah, like there's some bad shit
358
00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:17.200
that's happened, but but it's funny
bad shit also. I mean maybe at
359
00:26:17.200 --> 00:26:18.880
the time it happens to you,
it's not funny, but in retrospect it's
360
00:26:18.920 --> 00:26:23.039
funny. So I have a hard
time when I think when I say this
361
00:26:23.079 --> 00:26:26.880
shit happens to me, or do
I make the shit happen to myself.
362
00:26:26.240 --> 00:26:30.119
A lot of the work right now
is like a setting boundaries, being assertive
363
00:26:30.160 --> 00:26:33.720
in places that I need to be
communicated, being saying no. You know,
364
00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:37.240
like, as I get older,
thirty five has been for whatever reason,
365
00:26:37.319 --> 00:26:42.480
like a different switch went on.
It was the first time that maybe
366
00:26:42.480 --> 00:26:45.400
not the first time, but you
know, usually when when you have a
367
00:26:45.400 --> 00:26:48.319
birthday, people are like, how
do you feel, and you're like,
368
00:26:48.759 --> 00:26:55.559
fucking the same the day after the
yesterday, and I felt, you know,
369
00:26:55.599 --> 00:26:57.400
thirty four then, But thirty five
was one of those things where I
370
00:26:57.480 --> 00:27:00.279
kind of woke up and I looked
around. I was like, I am
371
00:27:00.319 --> 00:27:04.559
not the big sensation that I thought
I was copy and I'm still which is
372
00:27:04.559 --> 00:27:08.880
good. There's a level of like
I grew up having specific dreams which can
373
00:27:10.079 --> 00:27:14.640
still live in some place, but
as I get older and I'm mature,
374
00:27:14.680 --> 00:27:18.240
and I have to also be realistic
and focus on what's in front of me
375
00:27:18.279 --> 00:27:21.920
as opposed to what I don't have, you know, think about what I
376
00:27:21.920 --> 00:27:25.440
do have as opposed to what I
don't. And so many instants in my
377
00:27:25.480 --> 00:27:30.279
life I look back on little shit
of where I've just so badly wanted to
378
00:27:30.279 --> 00:27:34.960
be tough, but all I end
up doing is just like being nice in
379
00:27:36.000 --> 00:27:41.480
a grumpy way. Like there was
I was walking my dog once and he
380
00:27:41.559 --> 00:27:45.079
was kind of like a challenge.
My last dog. He was, you
381
00:27:45.079 --> 00:27:48.799
know, behaviorally, so he's strong. And my neighborhood was full of dogs
382
00:27:49.920 --> 00:27:53.200
and a lot of cars people just
kind of not paying attention. And this
383
00:27:53.279 --> 00:27:56.960
guy I watched. I stopped with
the dog like a good distance because I
384
00:27:56.960 --> 00:28:00.680
could tell that this guy was not
paying attention. He's like rolling up too
385
00:28:00.680 --> 00:28:03.079
fast to a stop sign and rolls
up to the stop windows down to the
386
00:28:03.079 --> 00:28:08.039
stop sign, hands both hands on
the phone, so maybe driving with the
387
00:28:08.119 --> 00:28:15.000
knee, I'm not sure. Pulls
halfway through a stop sign, comes to
388
00:28:15.119 --> 00:28:18.000
a stop and I'm standing right by
his open window, and if I wasn't
389
00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:22.640
paying attention, he would have hit
me and the dog. And I got
390
00:28:22.680 --> 00:28:26.039
the clear message in my mind of
like, this is your fucking moment,
391
00:28:26.279 --> 00:28:30.599
this is the time for you to
be tough. You gotta tell this guy
392
00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:36.319
off is this is dangerous. He
needs to pay attention. And I go
393
00:28:36.480 --> 00:28:40.960
hey, and he looks over,
but he looks like he was totally to
394
00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:42.039
know I was there. He looks
over like a little kid, like was
395
00:28:42.039 --> 00:28:45.480
like looking at Christmas presence. He's
like, oh, And I wanted to
396
00:28:45.480 --> 00:28:48.359
be like, you're a fucking piece
of shit, and I just said just
397
00:28:49.519 --> 00:28:56.039
drive safe. And then he drove
away. That was like. And as
398
00:28:56.039 --> 00:28:57.799
he left, I was like,
I should have punched him. I should
399
00:28:57.799 --> 00:29:03.119
have done something that it's time to
be tough guy. Yeah, And all
400
00:29:03.160 --> 00:29:08.039
I could come up with was drive
safe. So we got the message across.
401
00:29:08.559 --> 00:29:12.640
Maybe he's listening. I hope he's
listening. And yeah, and Will
402
00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:17.200
wants to tell him not only is
he a fucking piece of shit, but
403
00:29:17.240 --> 00:29:19.839
he should drive safe. I mean
that was the more important message. That's
404
00:29:19.960 --> 00:29:22.039
right. You can be both of
those things, right, Yeah, Like
405
00:29:22.079 --> 00:29:25.640
if you just call him a piece
of shit, he might not have known
406
00:29:26.119 --> 00:29:30.799
he should be driving safe. Right, that's right, Right, I should
407
00:29:30.839 --> 00:29:33.319
get the bumper sticker, drive safe, piece of shit, right, right,
408
00:29:33.160 --> 00:29:37.319
it's a nice thing and then a
backhand, you know, after the
409
00:29:37.359 --> 00:29:41.240
compliment or after the kind suggest I'm
pretty good at calling people out, but
410
00:29:42.559 --> 00:29:45.200
I don't know. And my son's
called me a Karen, and I don't
411
00:29:45.200 --> 00:29:49.559
think that applies. I do not
think I'm a Karen. And I asked
412
00:29:49.640 --> 00:29:55.119
him that's a very speci I know
I am not. I know I am
413
00:29:55.160 --> 00:30:00.680
not a Karen. And I've asked
my students who are in that generation,
414
00:30:00.759 --> 00:30:03.640
am I a Karen? And they
assure me that I'm not. I hope
415
00:30:03.640 --> 00:30:07.240
they're not just saying that yeah to
you know, because I grade them.
416
00:30:07.359 --> 00:30:11.039
But do you constantly ask do you
constantly make like a server at a restaurant's
417
00:30:11.039 --> 00:30:15.920
life? No? No, no, no, okay, but that's one
418
00:30:15.960 --> 00:30:18.880
point. Good. I don't.
I don't do that. I but if
419
00:30:18.920 --> 00:30:23.759
something is wrong, I am not
afraid to call it out. So but
420
00:30:23.799 --> 00:30:26.839
I try to act. I think
that's good. I know I'm assertive.
421
00:30:27.119 --> 00:30:33.680
You know you're trying to be assertive, like, yeah, anyway, this
422
00:30:33.400 --> 00:30:38.400
is not about me, Well,
oh well, it's we can share a
423
00:30:38.440 --> 00:30:42.079
conversation. I think also, because
I like have hosted things for so long,
424
00:30:42.160 --> 00:30:45.119
I also have questions. I'm like, but let's talk about it,
425
00:30:45.319 --> 00:30:48.640
right right. Um, So I
do want to ask you, though,
426
00:30:49.000 --> 00:30:55.599
there's one other thing that you've mentioned
here about, um partying with the Real
427
00:30:55.759 --> 00:31:00.039
Housewives. Did you party with the
Real Housewives? I definitely want to hear
428
00:31:00.039 --> 00:31:04.319
about that. Yeah. Two two
of that well too, one from a
429
00:31:04.680 --> 00:31:11.559
Housewives show and one from a vander
Pump Rules. Okay, and I'm sure
430
00:31:11.599 --> 00:31:15.960
you know where both of these nights
end up. Now, I am somebody
431
00:31:17.039 --> 00:31:22.960
when I partied with this person from
Housewives. I am now out as a
432
00:31:23.079 --> 00:31:30.279
queer man identify as queer. At
the time, this wasn't an idea that
433
00:31:30.319 --> 00:31:33.240
I could make sense to me.
I was still sort of living in this
434
00:31:33.960 --> 00:31:37.640
like trying to make the binary make
sense of like you're either straight or you're
435
00:31:37.680 --> 00:31:38.880
not. You know, or you're
gay or you're not, you're lesbian.
436
00:31:40.279 --> 00:31:41.880
But I had, you know,
friends who are trans and friends who identified
437
00:31:41.839 --> 00:31:45.799
as queer. I'm binding. I
understood some of these things existed, but
438
00:31:45.880 --> 00:31:51.119
I didn't know that I could make
it make sense for myself. And um,
439
00:31:51.559 --> 00:31:52.960
this didn't happen until much later that
I was like, oh, this
440
00:31:53.039 --> 00:32:00.680
is who I am. But part
of the confusion was during this single time
441
00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:06.319
in my ethical slut days, hooking
up with guys and knowing that it was
442
00:32:06.359 --> 00:32:10.079
something that I wanted to do,
but not one hundred percent sure why or
443
00:32:10.079 --> 00:32:13.559
what it meant, but then also
not giving it a lot of thought,
444
00:32:13.559 --> 00:32:15.759
being like, that's just fine.
Let's just like let it be what it
445
00:32:15.839 --> 00:32:22.880
is. And so we go out
for the Brandy Glamville a friend of mine
446
00:32:22.880 --> 00:32:24.680
who has a podcast here on Straw. She I used to produce her show.
447
00:32:24.720 --> 00:32:30.640
Actually she was having a birthday and
my dog had just the same dog
448
00:32:30.680 --> 00:32:34.039
that I was walking the store,
had passed away, maybe two weeks or
449
00:32:34.039 --> 00:32:39.440
so before, so tough time.
He was an important thing in my life
450
00:32:39.440 --> 00:32:44.200
that transitioned sort of got him in
my first marriage. Then he came with
451
00:32:44.240 --> 00:32:46.240
me and we had, you know, our little relationship and he was like
452
00:32:46.279 --> 00:32:50.839
my little copilot for so long.
So it was tough to lose him.
453
00:32:50.839 --> 00:32:53.039
And so another grief period sends me
into the spiral of like, well,
454
00:32:53.119 --> 00:32:59.000
let's time to party and go crazy. And we started at this mascuan food
455
00:32:59.000 --> 00:33:02.079
restaurant. I don't I don't know
if you've ever if you've met or heard
456
00:33:02.079 --> 00:33:07.640
of Brandy, but in her company
and I think she would admit to this.
457
00:33:07.759 --> 00:33:10.960
She can turn it up to like
not just eleven, she can go
458
00:33:12.759 --> 00:33:17.039
it goes higher. And I was
in the zone of being like, whatever
459
00:33:17.119 --> 00:33:21.720
you say, like I'm gonna do
because I just wanted to run away so
460
00:33:21.839 --> 00:33:27.799
much from We're at dinner and she
she goes, hey, guys, I
461
00:33:27.920 --> 00:33:30.200
know it's like, thank you guys
all for coming out for my birthday.
462
00:33:31.359 --> 00:33:35.559
Will's dog just died, so I
feel really bad for him. And I
463
00:33:35.680 --> 00:33:37.200
was like, great, now I
have this attension on me. I don't
464
00:33:37.200 --> 00:33:39.240
know why you needed to say that
in front of all your friends, but
465
00:33:39.279 --> 00:33:44.119
okay. Which one of her friends
was a very handsome, attractive man,
466
00:33:44.640 --> 00:33:52.920
and I remember going to this this
bar where they knew her and loved her,
467
00:33:53.559 --> 00:34:00.480
and we got like free bottle service. I think the manager what they
468
00:34:00.480 --> 00:34:05.000
were They were sharing bumps of not
Brandy, but the manager and certain people
469
00:34:05.039 --> 00:34:07.799
who had sort of tagged along strangers
kind of just end up walking up.
470
00:34:07.839 --> 00:34:10.920
People are doing cocaine in the corner. I may have had some myself that
471
00:34:10.920 --> 00:34:16.440
that's to be determined. We won't
talk about that. And this guy who's
472
00:34:16.480 --> 00:34:22.320
there is I'm just like, this
thing's like a great idea. I really
473
00:34:22.320 --> 00:34:25.800
want to go after this guy.
So he comes home with me and you
474
00:34:25.840 --> 00:34:31.239
know, we do the thing,
and the next morning it's very awkward because
475
00:34:31.239 --> 00:34:37.119
the questions are all like, are
you sure you're straight? And I'm like,
476
00:34:37.119 --> 00:34:42.239
I don't know how to answer this
question, so I guess I'm just
477
00:34:42.519 --> 00:34:46.800
not gonna and then getting a lot
of text messages from this person afterward,
478
00:34:47.000 --> 00:34:50.519
not forever, but you know,
a week or two of like, let's
479
00:34:50.559 --> 00:34:53.239
hang out again, let's say,
and having no clue, you know,
480
00:34:53.280 --> 00:34:58.480
how to handle this thing that I
had put in a box apparently my entire
481
00:34:58.519 --> 00:35:01.039
life, or knew that it was
okay, you know, to feel this
482
00:35:01.039 --> 00:35:07.559
way or have these these these hookups
during my ethical slut days. Um.
483
00:35:07.639 --> 00:35:12.159
And so in a long way around, you know, it's like Brandy and
484
00:35:12.239 --> 00:35:15.840
this wild birthday, and some of
these experiences help lead to the fact that
485
00:35:15.920 --> 00:35:21.519
eventually I become a more confident person. Who can I you know, claim
486
00:35:21.559 --> 00:35:23.599
my identity, come out as that
thing, embrace that thing, live is
487
00:35:23.639 --> 00:35:28.960
that thing. Um. So even
in the wild party days, it can
488
00:35:29.000 --> 00:35:35.639
still lead to some good shit happening
very often, and I think you're lucky.
489
00:35:35.840 --> 00:35:39.760
It's it's fortunate if you can do
this, if you can move I'm
490
00:35:39.760 --> 00:35:45.920
going to get psychological if you can
move through the shit into what you can
491
00:35:46.079 --> 00:35:52.760
learn or create or make sense of
or you know, kind of claim us
492
00:35:52.920 --> 00:35:58.440
as a result of you know,
because like shit's always going to happen,
493
00:35:58.519 --> 00:36:01.239
like really bad shit is going to
happen to us all the time, you
494
00:36:01.280 --> 00:36:07.719
know, somewhere than others. And
um, if we can find a way
495
00:36:07.800 --> 00:36:13.719
to you know, make some meaning
from that, then um, that's the
496
00:36:14.079 --> 00:36:16.159
probably the best thing we can we
can do with it at that point,
497
00:36:17.480 --> 00:36:22.039
right. So yeah, So that
so that was something good that came out
498
00:36:22.039 --> 00:36:25.239
of yea that? Yeah? Yeah, I mean I think good things came
499
00:36:25.280 --> 00:36:29.239
out of out of all of it. I'm somebody who likes to say also,
500
00:36:29.280 --> 00:36:30.400
like, you know, I wouldn't
be who I am in the present
501
00:36:30.440 --> 00:36:35.519
without the past. I like myself, which is helpful. I have my
502
00:36:35.559 --> 00:36:38.920
bad days, obviously, but there's
no I think a lot of people I
503
00:36:38.960 --> 00:36:43.360
feel always feel like people talk about
like what are your biggest regrets? Yeah,
504
00:36:43.400 --> 00:36:49.000
and that's such a I think a
horrible way to look at your own
505
00:36:49.079 --> 00:36:52.360
past, because what can you do
about it? Like what's the point of
506
00:36:52.800 --> 00:36:57.960
Yeah, regret is not you know, is just not helpful? So correct
507
00:36:58.079 --> 00:37:00.679
I don't really have any regrets.
Luckily, there's no past of mine that's
508
00:37:00.719 --> 00:37:07.840
like really violent or crazy or or
you know, horrible. But still there's
509
00:37:07.880 --> 00:37:10.840
like there's the ship that happens to
me or to anybody that you might not
510
00:37:10.880 --> 00:37:14.519
be proud of or embarrassed by,
but at the end of the day,
511
00:37:15.480 --> 00:37:20.079
it still brings you to, you
know, ideally a more complete place,
512
00:37:20.239 --> 00:37:24.920
or at least a place where you're
dedicated to doing the work of becoming better,
513
00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:28.519
becoming stronger, becoming more self aware. And I think you know,
514
00:37:28.519 --> 00:37:31.159
all these experiences are tied to that
as well. I mean, I'm totally
515
00:37:31.199 --> 00:37:35.559
with you on that. Will I
mean, I wish I hadn't dropped the
516
00:37:35.639 --> 00:37:42.400
nail polish on my new page Genom
slacks that were kind of a splurt ruin
517
00:37:42.480 --> 00:37:45.400
it. I literally I came home, I took them off and I put
518
00:37:45.440 --> 00:37:51.800
them on on the counter and I
haven't touched them since because so I don't
519
00:37:51.800 --> 00:37:53.880
know what I'm going to do about
them. But but no, I don't
520
00:37:53.880 --> 00:37:59.800
have any regrets. I try to
try to make something out of everything,
521
00:38:00.159 --> 00:38:02.880
you know, learn a lesson in
everything that I do. Go to bad.
522
00:38:04.079 --> 00:38:07.880
So I've been I've had a very
fortunate life, I have to say,
523
00:38:07.360 --> 00:38:12.920
so, um, have a lot
of privilege and opportunity. But um,
524
00:38:12.960 --> 00:38:17.239
even when shit happens, I'm I
feel so far I've been able to
525
00:38:17.599 --> 00:38:22.159
make something out of that. So
but that's what I tell my clients also.
526
00:38:22.679 --> 00:38:29.119
So yeah, it's not regrets are
just unhelpful. It's like guilt.
527
00:38:29.440 --> 00:38:32.760
It doesn't really help us at all. Right, Well, um, any
528
00:38:32.800 --> 00:38:38.199
other any other shit you want to
talk about or questions you want to ask
529
00:38:38.599 --> 00:38:45.199
me or interview for you. Yeah, Um, the I think it's sort
530
00:38:45.239 --> 00:38:47.639
of saying like the juggling too many
things at once. You know, you're
531
00:38:47.639 --> 00:38:52.159
like, why do I do this? Yeah, I'm somebody who who's very
532
00:38:52.159 --> 00:38:55.079
good at taking on probably more than
I should because of the difficulty of saying
533
00:38:55.119 --> 00:38:58.800
no. So I say yes to
a lot of things and end up overwhelming
534
00:38:58.800 --> 00:39:05.119
myself and don't to let people down. Um, and you know when that
535
00:39:05.119 --> 00:39:07.000
all comes to a head, then
you know, I'm talking to my therapist
536
00:39:07.079 --> 00:39:09.960
and he's saying like, well,
you know, this is sort of what
537
00:39:10.079 --> 00:39:15.519
happens as a result of juggling too
many things at once, and it's the
538
00:39:15.559 --> 00:39:20.760
metaphorical spilling nail polishing myself. Yeah, I guess that that it that it
539
00:39:20.800 --> 00:39:23.599
could be, but I think that
was I mean, I think that's when
540
00:39:23.679 --> 00:39:30.480
I think about being married young and
this shit happening to me at that time.
541
00:39:30.679 --> 00:39:34.239
It's interesting to see it now,
obviously kind of with some clarity,
542
00:39:34.760 --> 00:39:38.639
but to know that that, I
mean, that relationship served its purpose.
543
00:39:38.840 --> 00:39:43.000
But there was plenty of moments in
there where, you know, we can
544
00:39:43.079 --> 00:39:46.920
look back and say like, oh, shit was happening, but I couldn't
545
00:39:46.920 --> 00:39:52.280
see it at the time, and
there was it just it wasn't going to
546
00:39:52.280 --> 00:39:57.440
work, you know, I think
between us and there, there was a
547
00:39:57.440 --> 00:40:01.960
lot of moments that that may it
clear, but it kind of came to
548
00:40:02.039 --> 00:40:12.760
a head when I proposed an open
marriage. And this is a just because
549
00:40:12.800 --> 00:40:15.519
I wasn't ready to say, do
I view our c you know, like
550
00:40:15.559 --> 00:40:19.679
I was like, wow, I
don't know how to let this go.
551
00:40:20.519 --> 00:40:25.960
And the specifics of this we can
leave unknown. But that was a hard
552
00:40:27.239 --> 00:40:31.519
that was a hard thing to learn, or at least learning it the hard
553
00:40:31.559 --> 00:40:38.599
way that an open marriage is not
for me and I. Luckily, when
554
00:40:38.639 --> 00:40:45.079
we kind of came back together to
unpack things, we're able to come to
555
00:40:45.159 --> 00:40:47.039
the conclusion that like, yeah,
you know, we should go our separate
556
00:40:47.079 --> 00:40:52.840
ways and kind of pursue things.
But but in the panic of not wanting
557
00:40:52.880 --> 00:40:57.440
to assert myself or establish you know, say no, basically saying like this
558
00:40:57.599 --> 00:40:59.639
is what I want. What I
want is to get out of this.
559
00:40:59.760 --> 00:41:01.760
I think it's you sound like you
want the same thing. So let me
560
00:41:01.800 --> 00:41:08.159
propose something that well, basically you
know, won't work as a way to
561
00:41:08.199 --> 00:41:13.239
sort of sabotage, not sabotage,
but but in the in the long run,
562
00:41:13.320 --> 00:41:17.800
get us around to where we probably
needed to be anyway. So um,
563
00:41:19.639 --> 00:41:23.079
yeah, I mean I think that, and I'm grateful even too,
564
00:41:23.119 --> 00:41:25.840
you know, for that marriage and
that relationship and that person, because it's
565
00:41:25.880 --> 00:41:29.800
the same thing. You know,
it's the amount of like movies and TVs.
566
00:41:29.800 --> 00:41:30.960
I got my fucking X wife,
my ex husband. I'm like,
567
00:41:31.559 --> 00:41:37.320
it's such a it's such a cliche
of the way that we look at our
568
00:41:37.400 --> 00:41:40.679
exes, but also the way that
we It changed the way that I look
569
00:41:40.679 --> 00:41:45.000
at marriage. I was raised religious
and am no longer, but there is
570
00:41:45.039 --> 00:41:49.880
this sort of holiness associated with with
marriage, and if you get a divorce,
571
00:41:49.960 --> 00:41:52.840
even socially or culturally, I think
people are like there's still a little
572
00:41:52.840 --> 00:41:57.800
bit of the like your damage goods. And when I was going out to
573
00:41:57.920 --> 00:42:02.960
start dating, I hadn't dated ever
since I was seventeen years I didn't date.
574
00:42:02.960 --> 00:42:05.599
I was in high school, like, you know, really date.
575
00:42:05.800 --> 00:42:08.400
So as somebody who's like finally on
tender, like, oh the swipes,
576
00:42:08.840 --> 00:42:13.119
I can't wait to see what this
is all about. It's it's bullshit,
577
00:42:13.280 --> 00:42:19.599
actually, but um coming from from
thinking of it as like a holy institution
578
00:42:19.719 --> 00:42:23.800
of marriage to now sort of having
the opinion that it's just an expensive breakup.
579
00:42:24.119 --> 00:42:30.239
You know, I don't know it
it changed the way that I looked
580
00:42:30.239 --> 00:42:31.800
at things. I'm somebody who when
I make a commitment, I'm going to
581
00:42:32.199 --> 00:42:36.679
do a lot of work to keep
that commitment. But if I'm doing a
582
00:42:36.679 --> 00:42:37.920
lot of work and it's not upheld
on the other side, even when it
583
00:42:37.920 --> 00:42:43.119
comes to friendships or other relationships,
it becomes unsustainable, you know. And
584
00:42:43.199 --> 00:42:46.880
I think a lot of people I
have met much older ages will say things
585
00:42:46.920 --> 00:42:50.920
like, well, well, we
stayed together, you know, because that's
586
00:42:50.920 --> 00:42:52.800
the right thing to do, And
I'm like, so you've just been miserable
587
00:42:52.840 --> 00:42:58.519
for twenty five years. Like there
there is a version of this where it
588
00:42:58.800 --> 00:43:02.800
could have led to some finding of
authenticity and independence. And I'm grateful,
589
00:43:02.920 --> 00:43:06.719
you know that that should happen to
lead me to that place because now I'm
590
00:43:06.960 --> 00:43:09.920
married to a wonderful person and committed
to this person. It's not like,
591
00:43:10.199 --> 00:43:14.400
you know, throwing it away,
like our marriage doesn't mean anything but the
592
00:43:14.480 --> 00:43:21.320
stigma, you know, and how
we kind of feel like me especially like
593
00:43:21.360 --> 00:43:23.880
the failure element of it. You
know, took a minute to sort of
594
00:43:24.039 --> 00:43:29.519
get past, and I mean now
feel good. But but it was interesting.
595
00:43:29.559 --> 00:43:31.199
You know. I obviously didn't anticipate
any of that stuff when I got
596
00:43:31.199 --> 00:43:34.480
married, and to be doing it
at twenty nine, I was like,
597
00:43:34.519 --> 00:43:37.280
I'm too young for this. I
thought people got divorced when they were fifty.
598
00:43:37.679 --> 00:43:42.360
This is not the age that you
get divorced. But again, wouldn't
599
00:43:42.360 --> 00:43:44.840
be me in the present without the
past. So it all worked out.
600
00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:49.480
Yeah, Well, and anyone who
says, you know, I stayed there,
601
00:43:49.800 --> 00:43:52.840
that's they're saying that in a very
high and mighty kind of way,
602
00:43:53.320 --> 00:44:00.119
you know. So you know,
you you do you, buddy, and
603
00:44:00.840 --> 00:44:06.480
you you do you like no one
can like judge um judge it. You
604
00:44:06.519 --> 00:44:09.840
have to do what's what's best for
you. So and you know, in
605
00:44:10.280 --> 00:44:17.280
our culture like childhood sweethearts are highly
romanticized, you know kind of phenomena.
606
00:44:17.440 --> 00:44:22.679
And but it you know, that
doesn't mean you have to stay in something
607
00:44:22.760 --> 00:44:28.880
that is not not good for you. And what you're saying that good for
608
00:44:28.920 --> 00:44:31.760
either of you. So have you
ever seen Go Ahead? No? Not
609
00:44:31.880 --> 00:44:36.920
gone? It's a total other tangent. We don't need to walk down that
610
00:44:37.000 --> 00:44:38.679
road. So off, I know, I was just gonna say, have
611
00:44:38.719 --> 00:44:43.760
you ever seen the movie, Um, I'm sure you have, um Eternal
612
00:44:43.960 --> 00:44:47.400
Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Yeah, yeah, so I where you know
613
00:44:47.440 --> 00:44:52.519
they basically they erase their mind so
they can forget about the other person.
614
00:44:52.039 --> 00:44:58.440
But then they they they won't learn
those lessons that you are that you are
615
00:44:58.480 --> 00:45:01.000
talking about, right, Yeah,
I think that's the I mean, that's
616
00:45:01.000 --> 00:45:06.719
a common thing I think for life
is like people want to do things to
617
00:45:06.800 --> 00:45:08.920
avoid work. And I'm sure you
see this, you know as a therapist,
618
00:45:08.960 --> 00:45:14.320
Like, that's that is the work, right coming and being open to
619
00:45:14.559 --> 00:45:17.599
change and open to work and open
to not having the answers. And we
620
00:45:17.719 --> 00:45:22.480
see it in as big of things
as like psychology, and as little of
621
00:45:22.519 --> 00:45:24.400
things of being like sprinkle this powder
on your hot dogs and you can still
622
00:45:24.440 --> 00:45:30.360
lose weight, you know, like
there's every angle of trying to eliminate the
623
00:45:30.400 --> 00:45:37.280
work, but unfortunately the only thing
that's true about life is that the work
624
00:45:37.719 --> 00:45:39.360
must be done. I mean,
I was thinking this like an hour ago
625
00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:45.440
before I jumped on here. Sometimes
to get personal projects done, you know,
626
00:45:45.480 --> 00:45:47.400
I have to make time or find
time, and I'm realizing, like
627
00:45:47.440 --> 00:45:51.559
there's things that I'm falling behind on
that I want for myself, and the
628
00:45:51.599 --> 00:45:52.800
only way to make it happen sometimes
is like I gotta get up at five
629
00:45:52.840 --> 00:45:55.840
am, you know, I gotta
get up at five thirty in order to
630
00:45:55.880 --> 00:45:59.800
be able to take care of this. I can bitch and moan as much
631
00:45:59.840 --> 00:46:02.199
as I want about how pissed off
I am that other people and other things
632
00:46:02.199 --> 00:46:07.000
are wasting my time in my opinion, but it doesn't change the fact that
633
00:46:07.199 --> 00:46:09.599
those things give me money. So
I don't I mean, I say,
634
00:46:09.599 --> 00:46:14.119
I don't have to do them,
but they help when it comes to paying
635
00:46:14.159 --> 00:46:19.480
pills and paying rent, and so
the personal projects end up getting sometimes the
636
00:46:19.519 --> 00:46:22.800
short end of the stick, and
in order to make them happen, you
637
00:46:22.840 --> 00:46:27.920
know, it's an acceptance of of
humbling myself and knowing like I have to
638
00:46:27.920 --> 00:46:31.920
do the work, and I think
learning life lessons is a big part of
639
00:46:31.960 --> 00:46:37.320
that. I've seen people who are
much older in age who behave like sixteen
640
00:46:37.360 --> 00:46:38.440
year olds, you know, and
I'm like blown away that. I'm like,
641
00:46:38.440 --> 00:46:42.960
Wow, you made it this far
and you're still reacting to these situations.
642
00:46:43.000 --> 00:46:46.079
A Karen would be this in this
scenario, and I don't I don't
643
00:46:46.119 --> 00:46:51.280
think that you know, you have
chosen a profession that I think usually doesn't
644
00:46:51.280 --> 00:46:55.199
go along with Karen. So I
think you should be rest assured that you're
645
00:46:55.480 --> 00:46:59.599
you're you're It's very likely that you
are not a Karen. I'm going to
646
00:46:59.639 --> 00:47:02.239
give you my son's phone number and
you can call him and say, hey,
647
00:47:02.280 --> 00:47:06.119
I just talked to your mother for
like an hour and she is not
648
00:47:06.239 --> 00:47:13.199
a parent, so you stop calling
her that exactly. Yeah. Well,
649
00:47:13.320 --> 00:47:16.000
well, I really enjoy talking to
you. I want to thank you so
650
00:47:16.079 --> 00:47:21.039
much for coming on, and I
want to wish you a lot of luck
651
00:47:21.079 --> 00:47:27.679
with your all of your projects,
your podcast History Rated R, your upcoming
652
00:47:27.719 --> 00:47:32.280
novel, Fame by Misadventure, and
all of the other, all the other
653
00:47:32.320 --> 00:47:40.239
things any anywhere else we can see
you in the near future. No upcoming
654
00:47:42.280 --> 00:47:45.880
film or TV projects. Currently,
I was in a feature film called The
655
00:47:45.920 --> 00:47:51.079
Dinner Parting, which has made its
festival circuit run so nice. I'm hoping
656
00:47:51.360 --> 00:47:53.559
within twenty twenty three will be the
year that you know, it'll be on
657
00:47:53.599 --> 00:47:58.800
Amazon or Hulu or whatever where people
can constume they're working out the deal.
658
00:47:58.960 --> 00:48:02.719
But if people want to take notes
about the thing, it's like I have
659
00:48:02.800 --> 00:48:07.880
these things have coming up that aren't
released. So if people like these dumb
660
00:48:07.880 --> 00:48:10.719
stories that I told or the tambre
of my voice, and they want to
661
00:48:12.239 --> 00:48:15.360
know more about me, take out
your yellow legal pad and write down the
662
00:48:15.440 --> 00:48:19.239
name of my book and the name
of my movie, The Dinner Party,
663
00:48:19.400 --> 00:48:22.840
and be sure to google it periodically
until it becomes available. I think I
664
00:48:22.920 --> 00:48:28.239
think that's reasonable. It's a request. But like I said, life is
665
00:48:28.280 --> 00:48:31.360
work. Yeah, so don't fucking
dodge the work. Listeners, do the
666
00:48:31.400 --> 00:48:37.639
work and support me, don't.
It's about my value. Be a fucking
667
00:48:37.679 --> 00:48:40.719
asshole whatever. Whatever That guy was
who yes, exactly, but Drive said,
668
00:48:40.800 --> 00:48:45.760
yeah, yeah, okay, that
was Will Sterling on this show today,
669
00:48:45.039 --> 00:48:50.159
And um, Maggie, he's a
friend of yours. Huh he is,
670
00:48:50.239 --> 00:48:52.119
Yeah, we've known each other for
a long time. We met in
671
00:48:52.199 --> 00:48:57.360
college. Nice, so um.
So you've known him like all through like
672
00:48:57.760 --> 00:49:02.880
those days he was talking about being
marriage was childhood sweetheart and unfortunately getting divorced
673
00:49:02.960 --> 00:49:07.239
and everything like that. Yeah,
he's actually he's one of Ryan's best friends.
674
00:49:07.480 --> 00:49:12.960
So I really know him more because
of Ryan. Although I knew Will
675
00:49:13.000 --> 00:49:16.199
and I knew each other before Ryan
and I were an item because we all
676
00:49:16.280 --> 00:49:20.440
kind of hunk. We all they
were in the film department. Yeah,
677
00:49:20.440 --> 00:49:22.079
Will was in the film department.
They were in the film department together,
678
00:49:22.119 --> 00:49:27.039
and one of my close friends is
close with them, and so there was
679
00:49:27.039 --> 00:49:30.639
this kind of whole group of group
of us. But yeah, I did.
680
00:49:30.679 --> 00:49:36.920
I knew his first wife and was
there for that. I didn't go.
681
00:49:36.960 --> 00:49:38.840
I think Ryan was at the wedding. Maybe maybe not. I don't
682
00:49:38.880 --> 00:49:43.239
know when they got married exactly,
but but yeah, I've seen a lot.
683
00:49:43.280 --> 00:49:46.400
I've seen a lot of it.
And I have the the the group
684
00:49:46.599 --> 00:49:52.400
chat text message that he referenced in
his story when he hitchhiked over Laurel Canyon.
685
00:49:52.639 --> 00:49:55.199
So I pulled it up during the
interview to look at it, and
686
00:49:55.239 --> 00:49:59.239
I was like, yeah, there
it is, and the response from the
687
00:49:59.400 --> 00:50:02.719
group chat was was very funny.
Let's hear. It was like, what
688
00:50:02.760 --> 00:50:06.960
are you talking about? Why hasn't
done this? You want to hear the
689
00:50:07.000 --> 00:50:09.679
message I do, or you want
to hear the responses both. I want
690
00:50:09.679 --> 00:50:14.719
to hear already heard the story.
I suppose one thing he left out I
691
00:50:14.760 --> 00:50:21.480
can tell you is that he had
stopped at Jack in the Box on the
692
00:50:21.519 --> 00:50:24.119
walk and so he did eat something
on the way. Okay, oh,
693
00:50:24.199 --> 00:50:30.519
and some seven eleven tikidos when he
got home. Did you all think,
694
00:50:30.599 --> 00:50:32.440
like, what the hells are wrong
with you? Will? That you would
695
00:50:32.440 --> 00:50:38.119
do such a thing? Um?
Well, our friend Arturou said, wow,
696
00:50:38.159 --> 00:50:42.000
good luck on the toilet Maniana.
I guess after the Jack in the
697
00:50:42.039 --> 00:50:45.920
Box and the tikidos? Yeah,
Will said he had been on a Hobbits
698
00:50:46.000 --> 00:50:53.039
journey. Um what else? Our
friend Jill said, file under multiple things
699
00:50:53.039 --> 00:51:01.400
a woman should probably never ever attempt. I asked, did you walk Dave
700
00:51:01.440 --> 00:51:05.920
and have a shot when you got
home? And he did? He said
701
00:51:05.920 --> 00:51:07.559
he did walk a dog when he
got home. The dog's name is but
702
00:51:07.679 --> 00:51:12.719
no, Dave was Dave. That
was his old dog, Yeah, Okave
703
00:51:12.880 --> 00:51:16.559
Dave. Another friend Sam said,
I don't really remember the plot of Homeward
704
00:51:16.599 --> 00:51:21.360
Bound two Lost in San Francisco.
But I think it's basically that. So
705
00:51:22.239 --> 00:51:24.480
that was that was how that was
the responses he got from our group chat
706
00:51:25.239 --> 00:51:31.400
Okay after he shared his journey.
Yeah, so I think, you know,
707
00:51:32.000 --> 00:51:38.119
kind of like um Noam who shared
a lot of stories after have you
708
00:51:38.159 --> 00:51:44.280
know, um maybe drank too much
and making you know, poor decisions.
709
00:51:44.920 --> 00:51:50.920
Um, yeah, I think that
he's he has. So the episode kind
710
00:51:50.920 --> 00:51:54.079
of you know, turned a little
bit talking about all of these like ha
711
00:51:54.079 --> 00:52:00.199
ha funny things like he almost got
murdered because he was hitchhiking to eat.
712
00:52:00.239 --> 00:52:05.400
Philosophical you know, questions about you
know, what we can learn from our
713
00:52:05.440 --> 00:52:10.079
mistakes and meaning we can draw and
you know, I wouldn't be my present
714
00:52:10.159 --> 00:52:15.360
self without my past self, so
you know, um yeah, so I
715
00:52:15.400 --> 00:52:22.519
got to kind of flex my my
humor and my psychology muscles in the episode
716
00:52:22.559 --> 00:52:25.559
with Will today, which was all
great. Yeah I think so. And
717
00:52:25.639 --> 00:52:30.559
you know Will is also one to
to wax philosophical, so for sure I
718
00:52:30.599 --> 00:52:34.360
think he was. He was really
in a day game today too, So
719
00:52:34.440 --> 00:52:37.199
I think it was a good It
was a good conversation. Yeah, it
720
00:52:37.280 --> 00:52:42.400
was great. So everyone should look
for his podcast history Rated R and his
721
00:52:42.559 --> 00:52:50.719
novel fame by misadventure, and the
dinner parting is maybe the movie, isn't
722
00:52:50.719 --> 00:52:53.119
that? What was called dinner party? I think dinner party party, but
723
00:52:53.400 --> 00:52:57.519
it sounded like he stretched that word
out, but I could be wrong.
724
00:52:58.119 --> 00:53:01.679
Dinner party. Well, A good
way I'd say to to keep up with
725
00:53:01.760 --> 00:53:06.800
him would be to go and follow
him on Instagram, and he is Will
726
00:53:06.960 --> 00:53:10.599
Sterling underscore I think, Yeah,
there's an underscore at the end. But
727
00:53:10.639 --> 00:53:13.920
you'll know, you'll see him.
There's a little you know, there's like
728
00:53:13.920 --> 00:53:19.079
a fur coat picture, that's a
picture of his new Frankenstein tattoo. Let's
729
00:53:19.119 --> 00:53:23.559
get some picks with with a eyeliner. You'll you'll you'll know it's him when
730
00:53:23.559 --> 00:53:27.440
you see it. You know.
Well, I will say I almost mentioned
731
00:53:27.480 --> 00:53:30.960
this to him and then just opted
not. But when I googled him,
732
00:53:31.719 --> 00:53:36.639
there are some there are some,
um, you know, nice pictures of
733
00:53:36.679 --> 00:53:40.239
Will. He's a nice looking guy. And and there's there's there's one picture
734
00:53:40.559 --> 00:53:45.800
like kind of with his shirt open
and looks like maybe he did some like
735
00:53:46.800 --> 00:53:50.039
you know, he works out.
It could tell that he Let's just put
736
00:53:50.039 --> 00:53:53.000
it that way. You could tell
that Will works out, and he does
737
00:53:53.039 --> 00:53:57.320
work out. Yeah, so maybe
he did some modeling too. In his
738
00:53:58.519 --> 00:54:02.639
he he did a lot of pause
playing as a Superman. Actually, oh
739
00:54:02.679 --> 00:54:06.760
so he got pretty buff for a
while. He's he's he's tooped it down
740
00:54:06.800 --> 00:54:08.639
a little bit in recent years,
but he did. He did get really
741
00:54:08.679 --> 00:54:15.119
into fitness and does does a pretty
convincing Superman. So well, yeah,
742
00:54:15.199 --> 00:54:19.599
I'm gonna have to I'm gonna have
to follow up with him about about that
743
00:54:19.639 --> 00:54:24.000
Superman. So I'm like, okay, yeah, all right, yeah.
744
00:54:24.039 --> 00:54:30.800
Well thanks Maggie, and thanks everyone, and we'll see you next time.
745
00:54:31.360 --> 00:54:35.880
Thanks for listening to my ship.
I really appreciate it. Come back and
746
00:54:36.000 --> 00:54:38.039
hear more shit next time on the
Ship that Happens to Me podcast? Do
747
00:54:38.079 --> 00:54:43.639
you think I've said shit enough for
one podcast episode? Tune in next time
748
00:54:43.800 --> 00:54:52.519
to the Ship that Happens to Me
Podcasts. You Got a Baby
1
00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:07.919
Hi everyone, Stacy. Here,
I am collecting everyone's favorite episodes and stories
2
00:00:07.960 --> 00:00:12.160
from the Shit that Happens to Me
podcast, And not only that, if
3
00:00:12.199 --> 00:00:17.559
you send me an email with your
favorite story from the show, I'm going
4
00:00:17.600 --> 00:00:21.679
to send you a T shirt or
a sweatshirt or a zip up or a
5
00:00:21.679 --> 00:00:27.039
hoodie because I have all of this
merch left over. So please, I
6
00:00:27.079 --> 00:00:30.160
mean, you can feel free to
send me your favorite story anyway, because
7
00:00:30.199 --> 00:00:33.439
I would love to know. But
send me an email to the Shit that
8
00:00:33.479 --> 00:00:39.159
Happens to Me at gmail dot com
and or send me a message on Instagram
9
00:00:39.479 --> 00:00:43.240
and let me know what your favorite
story is from the show, and I
10
00:00:43.280 --> 00:00:49.759
will send you some shit merch.
So do that right now. Shit happens,
11
00:00:50.320 --> 00:00:54.039
bad shit, good shit, crazy
shit, and it usually happens when
12
00:00:54.039 --> 00:00:57.799
we least expect it. So tune
into the Shit that Happens to Me podcast
13
00:00:58.039 --> 00:01:02.359
and hear me and everyone I meet
tell they're shitty stories. You'll laugh,
14
00:01:02.759 --> 00:01:06.719
you'll cry. You probably won't cry. Why would you cry? These are
15
00:01:06.760 --> 00:01:11.640
mostly funny stories. You'll learn a
few lessons, probably not. It's definitely
16
00:01:11.680 --> 00:01:15.519
not that kind of podcast, but
you will have a great time. Honestly,
17
00:01:15.760 --> 00:01:19.640
you can't make this shit up.
Hi. Everyone. Will Sterling is
18
00:01:19.640 --> 00:01:26.120
on the show today. You may
know him from his podcast History Rated R.
19
00:01:27.120 --> 00:01:33.560
He is an actor and a writer
and he is good friends with Maggie
20
00:01:33.599 --> 00:01:38.760
and Ryan from Straw Hut. So
he came on the show today to talk
21
00:01:38.799 --> 00:01:46.120
about his drunken youth, although he
was a little older than a youth when
22
00:01:46.400 --> 00:01:51.120
he went through when he went through
it, So he tells us stories about
23
00:01:51.560 --> 00:01:56.959
hitch hiking, drunk and going on
a motor scooter or maybe it wasn't a
24
00:01:56.959 --> 00:02:02.719
motor scooter or drunk. There's a
theme here partying with Brandy Glanville from Real
25
00:02:02.760 --> 00:02:07.800
Housewives. So um, stick around. Um, it's a really it's a
26
00:02:07.840 --> 00:02:12.520
really great episode. We got a
little philosophical too. It's all good.
27
00:02:12.879 --> 00:02:16.400
So um. Here he is Will
Sterling. I am so excited to be
28
00:02:16.520 --> 00:02:21.199
here today with my guest, Will
Sterling. Hi, Will, how are
29
00:02:21.240 --> 00:02:25.280
you good? How are you?
And I'm very good? Thank you so
30
00:02:25.360 --> 00:02:30.919
glad that you could be here today
on the Ship that Happens to Me podcast.
31
00:02:30.479 --> 00:02:36.080
Yeah. So I have a I
have a small a small confession,
32
00:02:36.080 --> 00:02:38.719
not confession, but thing to say
that when I first Maggie first invite your
33
00:02:38.840 --> 00:02:44.840
your producer invited me to be on
the show. She sent your name and
34
00:02:44.919 --> 00:02:49.319
it was Stacy ny but for whatever
reason in my brain, I read it
35
00:02:49.360 --> 00:02:53.479
as Stacy New Year's Eve. Yes, so I started thinking, like,
36
00:02:53.599 --> 00:02:57.599
your hip hop name was Stacy Nye, Stacy New Year's Eve. I don't
37
00:02:57.599 --> 00:03:00.639
know why for I don't know two
weeks and then I only got an email
38
00:03:00.680 --> 00:03:02.159
from you, and I was like, oh, it's a regular, it's
39
00:03:02.199 --> 00:03:07.840
a it's not no. I love
it name. It's a real last name.
40
00:03:07.879 --> 00:03:09.840
I love that you think I have
a hip hop name, and now
41
00:03:09.879 --> 00:03:15.560
I do Stacy New Year's Eve Stacy. Ye. I love it because you
42
00:03:15.599 --> 00:03:21.840
know, around mid December when all
of the signs go up about New Year's
43
00:03:21.879 --> 00:03:25.840
Eve, and ye, my husband
and I are inundated with all of these
44
00:03:27.000 --> 00:03:32.919
like pictures of the billboards. Oh
look they're celebrating you guys on December thirty
45
00:03:32.960 --> 00:03:37.360
first. So yeah, well there
you go. It's all it's meant to
46
00:03:37.400 --> 00:03:44.120
be. But I love that Stacy
New Year's Eve. So yeah. So
47
00:03:44.360 --> 00:03:47.840
um so will you are a friend
of Maggie's Is that right? That's right?
48
00:03:47.879 --> 00:03:51.759
Yeah, I know Maggie for a
long time, and and you are
49
00:03:52.039 --> 00:03:55.439
a writer and a director and actor, sort of the jack of all trades,
50
00:03:55.479 --> 00:04:00.199
master of none. You know,
I'm one of those people who was
51
00:04:00.240 --> 00:04:02.240
like, I'm in LA, I'm
doing any all the things entertainment related,
52
00:04:02.319 --> 00:04:09.879
including podcasting. So that's awesome.
I am in Milwaukee doing none of those
53
00:04:09.879 --> 00:04:14.479
things. But I am podcasting.
He's doing the podcast. I'm podcasting.
54
00:04:14.560 --> 00:04:17.839
Yeah, not writing or acting or
directing or producing or anything like that.
55
00:04:18.040 --> 00:04:23.120
Creating. I'm creating. So maybe
so we're going to get into the ship
56
00:04:23.399 --> 00:04:29.600
in a few moments, but maybe
you can give the listeners just a little
57
00:04:29.639 --> 00:04:35.000
background on your different projects and things
like that. Yeah, I in stars,
58
00:04:35.000 --> 00:04:42.160
podcasting goes. I've been in the
industry for eight years now, started
59
00:04:42.160 --> 00:04:46.560
in two thousand and fifteen, actually
April twenty fifteen, so here we are.
60
00:04:46.720 --> 00:04:48.680
Was in radio before that, so
as a day as day jobs go.
61
00:04:48.800 --> 00:04:54.920
Been in broadcast and podcasting for for
quite some time. But you're like
62
00:04:55.000 --> 00:04:58.839
twenty writing is sorry, you look
like twenty. I'm thirty five, but
63
00:04:58.959 --> 00:05:01.839
thank you. Well, I'm gonna
put that in my pocket and I'm going
64
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to unfold it later. I uh. But you know, in LA,
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with acting and writing, as anything
goes, it's like it's it's just a
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hustle until something happens. So,
um, Maggie's husband and a good friend
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of mine, UM Ryan Tillotson who
runs straw Hat Media as you know,
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and our mutual pile Alex Wall We
you know, have just been working on
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projects since college. We've been friends
for a really long time. So,
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you know, between shorts and an
Instagram series and some features that we've written
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that we're in pre production on,
keeping busy and then um on my own
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writing scripts as well, and then
have a novel coming out this summer,
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so that's exciting and just plugging away. And your novel is called The Fame
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Fame by Misadventure, Right, what
kind of novel is that? What is
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that about? It's a dark satire
sort of an analysis, humorous analysis of
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our every worship culture when it comes
to reality TV and sort of how we
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consume media, especially in new media
like this, and and sort of by
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extension, how we consume human beings. Basically, like it's easy to other
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than them, and because they're on
television almost think that what they're dealing with
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is not real or it doesn't matter
because they're famous or they're rich, or
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they're successful or whatever it is,
and I think that there's a there's a
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fine line between how that you know, it can be entertaining, but also
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it can affect their real lives and
our real lives because we sort of lose
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our grip on how we contribute to
when people like that suffer, you know,
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like a Britney Spears or something like
that. There's an element to which
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when shit was going down for her, you know, people are like,
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oh, she's just crazy, you
know, she's losing her mind. But
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you know, minus the entire media
and public and everybody who just consumed her
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until the point of, you know, just bringing her to a breaking point.
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So I think the audience also has
a responsibility and some of that stuff
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as well. And so it's a
it's funny but also very sad. Yeah,
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so it's a it's a balance.
Yeah, dark thus dark satire,
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Yes exactly. Yeah. And you're
you have a podcast, as you mentioned,
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called History Rated R. So it
is h and I know we can
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say shit on this podcast. Is
there are there words that are off limits
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we can say? Well, I
have personal words that are off limits that
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I emailed you, Bob. But
yeah, yeah, no, we can
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say shit, we can say fuck, We can say whatever we want.
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Great, those two those two are
the are the but history rated r's there's
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a lot of the F word on
there, and so um, it's uh,
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it's fun. I started. My
co host is a seventy eight year
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old former presidential speechwriter, and he's
an old school conservative, um, which
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makes for a fun balance because I'm
a young liberal. But he's not a
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Trump you know, conservat it's he
believes in things like climate change in gun
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control. So we have our disagreements
where it happens, but also our common
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ground. And it's fun, I
think between the two of us sort of
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the different perspectives. But also he's
very, very wise and intelligent. So
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he brings the history and I bring
the blue color commentary. Nice. That
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sounds like fun. Yeah, okay, so um, So apparently you have
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had some shit happened to you,
like along along the way, you know,
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as you've been you know in the
your connective word, yes and trying
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to find yourself and something about you
know, being in your twenties. So
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let's let's hear some let's hear some
of that what you got for me today?
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I was married young, and I
didn't it was my to my high
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school sweetheart that we started dating when
I was seventeen, she was sixteen,
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And I was raised religious and there
was a lot of came from a small
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town. So marrying that person was
like the greatest thing anyone could ever do.
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You know, like, if you
marry your high school sweetheart, this
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is like a gift from God basically, and no one tells you that.
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Emotionally, you're probably not prepared to
confront, well not confront, but but
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enter into a marriage with some experience
under your belt. Obviously you know you're
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I'm young. So married at twenty
two and was divorced at twenty nine,
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and so the twenties are usually a
time when everybody sort of lives their best
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life and figures their shit out and
makes their mistakes and has their their drunken
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antics and as my current spouse calls
it, ethical slut people, and in
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your time in life, maybe if
you're open to that thing, you you
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know, there's no shame. I
missed all that, and so starting pretty
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much at twenty nine, it was
off to the races. And as Maggie
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could attest to and Ryan, um, I was a bit of a mess.
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But but there were some funny stories
and some important life lessons that were
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learned along the way, and there
was a lot of there was a lot
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of drinking involved in these decisions,
which is, um, you know here,
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I'm going to cheers to that.
Yeah, right, meet you.
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I'll cheers also because I've learned.
You know, I've learned, and just
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you know, we can kind of
expand obviously as we go. But it
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was I've been to a lot of
therapy as well, so you know,
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you emailed me and I was like, we can get as nitty gritty as
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you want or keep it as loose, but a lot of therapy went a
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long way, and I was especially
when it came to therapy. I was
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surprised at my therapist. I was
like smoking a lot of cigarettes and drinking
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a bunch and was shot nervous about
like admitting to him like, hey,
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I'm really kind of like not taking
great care of myself because I'm going through
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this thing. And so finally when
I sort of brought that out into the
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open, he's like, if that's
what you need right now, that's okay.
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And I was like, what,
who gets You're giving me permission to
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do something that it's usually typically so
associated with shame, you know, personal
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shame when it comes to it,
And so I did things like I decided
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drunkenly hitchhiking was a good idea and
got picked up by a man coming home
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from a construction site and his best
friend and realized immediately like this could end
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in my murder if the movies and
television shows are correct. But I'd gone
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to a concert and my phone died
and I had forgotten to program in to
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lift my new home address, and
it dropped me off at my old home
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address where I lived when I was
married, and I was like, hey,
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man, I can't this isn't where
I live. And he's like,
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uh, it's too bad. You
gotta get out. My phone was dead.
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Oh no, So for whatever reason, yeah, I got out and
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I was standing there and I was
like, okay, what's my game plan?
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Very very hammered logic coming through now
my brain. And the first thing
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that popped my man is like,
just start walking. Just start walking,
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see how far you can get.
Maybe you can make it on Laurel Canyon,
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which I got really far. Actually
from that place to my new place
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was probably about eight miles, oh
yeah, which would be a really long
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walk. Yeah if even if you
weren't drunk. Um. So I and
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I was wearing like boot that was
not I was not prepared to make this
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walk like fancy going out boots.
I was at a concert trying to look
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cute. But the first good idea
was that I should start walking. So
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I started walking, and the hitchhiking
had not occurred to me yet. I
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was convinced that I could walk over
Laurel Canyon, which once that became very
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dangerous. Then hitchhiking became a good
idea. But I do remember there's this
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um, there's this disparagement of the
valley when it comes to Los Angeles.
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People like the valley. And I
remember I was walking up I had made
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it past. I was on Melrose, going up past Melrose, and a
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guy was coming out of some building
doing something and I said hey, man,
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and he looked at me like kind
of scared, and I was like,
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hey, you going to the valley
and he goes no, and then
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drives away. So I was like, Okay, I guess I'm not.
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I guess I can't get a ride
from a stranger, from a kind stranger.
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So I get to Lorel Canyon and
it's twisty turney and very dark,
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and I realized, like, I'd
probably get hit by a car if I
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do this on foot. So I
was like, you know what, I
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should just stick the thumb out like
like I've seen people do, you know,
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and maybe a kind motorist will pull
over and pick me up. This
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car truck finally does, and this
guy coming home from the site and his
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buddy and a dogger in the back, and he takes a left turn up
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a part of like in the Hollywood
Hills where it gets twisty turney and all
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the houses are and things, kind
of off of Laurel Canyon, and I
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was like, oh man, we
immediately detoured to the creepy, scary,
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distant part and I think this is
probably where I'm going to die. Maybe
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I should get my life together as
as the time goes on, and there's
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a dog. There's a dog in
the back and he has his head on
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my lap, and I remember,
hey, you have a really this is
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a really sweet dog, and nobody
acknowledged it or said anything, and I
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was like, this, that means
that means death. Yeah, lets his
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buddy out, Yeah, yeah,
come on, acknowledge the dog if you
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acknowledge the dog. Then I think
I'm gonna be okay. Um ends up
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taking his buddy to his car,
where he parked somewhere where it was free
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to park. His buddy and the
dog get out like okay, moved to
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the front and it's dead quiet,
and as we go down the other side
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of the hill, you know,
there's like little small talk like hey,
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what do you do for work?
And he's like, oh, I work
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at constructions, you know, management
or whatever, and I gotta be up
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tomorrow again at four thirty. And
then it's quiet for like ten minutes and
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he pulls into a CBS parking lot
and like I could tell that he was
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also scared, like, oh,
maybe I also made a mistake. I
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don't know. Maybe the hitchhiker in
this twist, this turn of events is
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the one who murders me. And
he looks over me. He's like,
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hey, you cool here, I
need you to get out. And I
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was like, i was still like
two miles away from home, and I
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00:15:18.120 --> 00:15:20.840
was like I'm just a little bit
that way. He's like, I this
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is good, and I was like
okay, yeah, I mean he did
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he did me a solid and saved
me from being struck by a vehicle walking
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over the dangerous part of the Lord. I don't know if you've spent any
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time in Los Angeles and you know
Laurel Canyon, but it's not that's not
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a wise move to walk up that
road, even in the daytime. So
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I was like, I acknowledged the
I acknowledge the help walk the rest of
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the way home. Immediately put this
in the group chat, and everybody was
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like, you're crazy, what are
you doing? And it's like, there's
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been a lot of little moments of
these stupid shit that happens to me that
219
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are clear that they're happening because of
grief or sadness or other things. And
220
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it took some time to come around
to h to accepting that that was a
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00:16:03.919 --> 00:16:07.159
big part of the reason and not
just that I was having a great time.
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Yeah, you know, well,
I think you make a good point,
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and I think what I've maybe never
acknowledged on the on the three years
224
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I've done this podcast is often,
not always, but often shit happens to
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certain people because we put ourselves in
situations where shit is bound to happen right
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now. Sometimes it's out of grief
or trauma, or you know, um,
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just you know, unfortunate circumstances that
we're in. But other times it's
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it's because we're just not we're not
thinking clearly, we're not we're not being
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you know, we're not using our
we're not using our wise mind, which
230
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is psychological term when we're making certain
decisions. So yeah, I mean that's
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that's really true. And there's a
lot of instances like that. But you
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didn't get murdered, so that's amazing. And I did not get murdered,
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not get murdered, and the truck
driver thought you were going to murder him,
234
00:17:06.200 --> 00:17:14.279
so yeah, yeah, so um
other other examples of things you did
235
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you know back then besides drunk chik
drink, Yeah, exactly. Well,
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00:17:19.799 --> 00:17:25.160
and unfortunately, like some of these
stories do involve a one time I drunkenly
237
00:17:25.160 --> 00:17:27.359
took a school and this is always
like what this became the pattern of like,
238
00:17:27.400 --> 00:17:30.599
okay, this, we're using this, and I think this was like
239
00:17:30.640 --> 00:17:33.599
a big deal. And I think
a learning point for me was self medication.
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Not knowing that that's a real thing
that people do. That doesn't necessarily
241
00:17:38.000 --> 00:17:41.799
mean like, oh this is going
to be a problem for the rest of
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00:17:41.839 --> 00:17:45.640
my life, but it's for sure
a problem right now. And it was
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00:17:45.720 --> 00:17:49.519
always not always, but oftentimes I'd
find myself away from home and sort of
244
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stuck in this position of of needing
to get back and feeling sort of I
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00:18:00.200 --> 00:18:03.960
guess maybe you know there's some there's
some kind of strandedness connection to too,
246
00:18:04.119 --> 00:18:08.079
I guess my emotional state. But
it was out for a joint bachelor bachelorette
247
00:18:08.119 --> 00:18:11.480
party and they had this big limit
of taking everybody around. It was great
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ended at this bar. Everybody goes
their separate ways. This is I don't
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00:18:15.960 --> 00:18:21.079
know if you have ever taken a
lift or on uber during like when there
250
00:18:21.079 --> 00:18:22.960
were surge prices, and you would
you know, you look for a car
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at some point during the day and
it could be seven dollars, and then
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00:18:26.759 --> 00:18:30.960
you could look during this window of
high traffic time and it would be like
253
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forty eight dollars. Yeah, And
this is the time of like when the
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lime scooters and everything were very,
very popular, and I was like,
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I'm paying forty eight dollars to go
home. Now I'm still in the valley
256
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at this point, and apparently all
these stories start with me on the other
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side of the hill and end with
me ending up back in the valley and
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the best idea that I had at
the time was to take a Lime scooter
259
00:18:56.359 --> 00:19:03.119
over the Koanga Pass another to nine
miles to get home. And I unlocked
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the scooter, I get on it
and fall embarrassingly drunken immediately, but it
261
00:19:07.880 --> 00:19:11.759
was like a noodle weird sort of
fall, and I was wearing what I
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00:19:11.799 --> 00:19:15.400
felt like was like a really nice
jacket, so I didn't want to mess
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00:19:15.480 --> 00:19:18.920
it up. So it was almost
like a slow motion like ah as.
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I kind of just rolled onto the
ground, get up, sort of dust
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00:19:21.359 --> 00:19:25.359
myself off, look around. There's
nobody there, and consciously think to myself,
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I cannot do this again. If
I do this again, some cop
267
00:19:27.720 --> 00:19:33.599
somewhere is going to see me fall
in this way and I'm going to get
268
00:19:33.640 --> 00:19:36.839
arrested or I'm going to get a
you know, what would be the ticket
269
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if you were scootering intoxicated? Is
that still drunken disorderly? Maybe if you're
270
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going thirteen miles an hour. And
so I just told myself, I was
271
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like, you can't do that again, and I didn't. I in this
272
00:19:52.759 --> 00:19:56.519
in this weird little, you know, scootery way, make it over the
273
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hill seven and a half or so
miles, going almost entirely uphill at like
274
00:20:03.240 --> 00:20:08.720
seven miles an hour, and get
pretty close to home and the battery dies.
275
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Pick up a dozen donuts to eat
out of the box as I continue
276
00:20:12.359 --> 00:20:18.839
my walk home. Um. The
lesson learned, I think, continues to
277
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be the same um waking up with
bruises and not knowing how I got them,
278
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and things like this, and and
and having to piece back some of
279
00:20:30.720 --> 00:20:34.000
the pieces of of of these evenings
of of of how did I how did
280
00:20:34.039 --> 00:20:37.720
I get back? Why you know? Why have I done this? Why
281
00:20:37.720 --> 00:20:41.920
did this happen? Um? I
think the fun part of a lot of
282
00:20:41.920 --> 00:20:44.880
the shit that happens to me is
the shit that I kind of do to
283
00:20:44.960 --> 00:20:48.359
myself. I don't know how much. I'm sure there's plenty of external shit.
284
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I know there's plenty of external shit, but I have I do have
285
00:20:52.319 --> 00:20:59.039
a good reputation of the the shit
that I do to myself self flagellation you
286
00:20:59.079 --> 00:21:03.440
mean afterwards, yes, exactly,
Yeah, yeah, I can say.
287
00:21:03.160 --> 00:21:08.480
I mean this isn't quite as you
know, extreme as drunken hitchhiking. But
288
00:21:10.480 --> 00:21:17.039
last week I was getting my nails
done and I was trying to figure out
289
00:21:17.079 --> 00:21:19.680
what color to get, and I
was opening all of these bottles of nail
290
00:21:19.680 --> 00:21:23.640
polish. And I do this thing
where I hold too many things at one
291
00:21:23.680 --> 00:21:27.720
time. I don't know if you
do that. Like the phone. My
292
00:21:27.799 --> 00:21:32.839
phone is always in my hand,
you know, it could probably it should
293
00:21:32.880 --> 00:21:36.119
just be glued to my hand.
But I was looking at pictures and I
294
00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:41.599
was looking at a nail bottle of
nail polish, and I was also holding
295
00:21:42.119 --> 00:21:45.039
all of the you know, when
you go get your nails done. Don't
296
00:21:45.039 --> 00:21:48.839
know if you know this. They
paint nail polish on all these little fake
297
00:21:48.960 --> 00:21:55.039
nails and they come in like these
plastic things, and there's several of them
298
00:21:55.279 --> 00:22:00.359
on like a ring. So I'm
holding all three of these things at once.
299
00:22:00.640 --> 00:22:03.759
I don't know why this is what
I do. And the nail polish,
300
00:22:03.880 --> 00:22:07.920
of all things, I mean,
glad not my phone goes flying all
301
00:22:07.920 --> 00:22:11.559
of a sudden, it to slip
flop, flies out of my hand and
302
00:22:12.200 --> 00:22:19.119
falls to the ground and splatters nail
polish everywhere, which on the floor,
303
00:22:19.160 --> 00:22:22.920
on the on the desk, you
know, not a big deal. On
304
00:22:23.079 --> 00:22:27.839
my clothes, my nice clothes,
you know, like stuff like that.
305
00:22:29.000 --> 00:22:33.240
So so then I'm like, why
do I do that? Why do I?
306
00:22:33.720 --> 00:22:37.680
Why must I hold everything? It's
a balancing act all at once.
307
00:22:37.799 --> 00:22:41.400
So do you do what? What
did you do? You feel like you
308
00:22:41.440 --> 00:22:45.119
are able to sort of walk back
why you do that? You know,
309
00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:48.559
like, what what do you have
your own? Oh, we're gonna get
310
00:22:48.599 --> 00:22:52.119
psychological here. Why do I do
that? I mean, like, that's
311
00:22:52.119 --> 00:22:56.119
just my first question is I'm like, You're like, why do I do
312
00:22:56.160 --> 00:22:57.640
this? And and so then my
question is, yeah, why why do
313
00:22:57.759 --> 00:23:03.119
you do it? You know?
Like what? Yeah, I don't know.
314
00:23:03.240 --> 00:23:07.680
I think there is an answer right
now. I'm not the host back
315
00:23:07.720 --> 00:23:11.759
off, no, but I will
say there is a part of me and
316
00:23:11.240 --> 00:23:15.640
I recognize this and I try really
hard to not do this so much.
317
00:23:17.000 --> 00:23:19.559
But but maybe that's a lie.
Because I do have this podcast called The
318
00:23:19.559 --> 00:23:23.240
Shit That Happens to Me. There's
a part of me that maybe enjoys,
319
00:23:25.079 --> 00:23:29.000
you know, um, sometimes being
a little flighty, Like I'm like a
320
00:23:29.079 --> 00:23:32.720
smart person, okay, but it's
also fun to be a little flighty sometimes,
321
00:23:32.759 --> 00:23:36.880
like ha, look at this,
I'm there's things flying, you know,
322
00:23:37.160 --> 00:23:40.680
all around. Yeah, but I
don't know, that's the best I
323
00:23:40.680 --> 00:23:45.480
can come up with at the moment. That's fair. I did put you
324
00:23:45.559 --> 00:23:49.920
up. That's what I do.
So that's cool, Okay, it's and
325
00:23:49.960 --> 00:23:55.319
so I, I, uh,
what was the I just out of curiosity,
326
00:23:55.359 --> 00:23:56.680
I think listening to some of the
episodes and stuff. What was the
327
00:23:57.160 --> 00:24:03.839
big inspiration for starting this show?
Did you feel like you were accumulating shit
328
00:24:03.960 --> 00:24:06.920
that was happening to you and you
wanted to know what other people were going
329
00:24:06.920 --> 00:24:10.759
to kind of go into it.
The inspiration was mostly that I could just
330
00:24:10.799 --> 00:24:15.400
tell my shit, but but no, it was also to hear other people's
331
00:24:15.400 --> 00:24:18.720
shit. So I had this and
and often the ship that happens to me
332
00:24:18.759 --> 00:24:22.279
is good shit, you know,
like funny, good good stuff. Like
333
00:24:22.680 --> 00:24:26.440
yeah, like I managed. I
didn't think that, like, oh maybe
334
00:24:26.440 --> 00:24:29.960
I could have thought of the positive
shit. I only think about negative.
335
00:24:30.039 --> 00:24:36.319
I know, I know, but
um, I managed to um get myself
336
00:24:36.440 --> 00:24:41.720
on stage UM with I don't know
if you if you've heard of um um
337
00:24:41.960 --> 00:24:48.000
my favorite murder UM. Karen Kilgarriff
and Georgia Hartstark before COVID were doing all
338
00:24:48.039 --> 00:24:51.680
these live shows and you know,
they were, you know, really popular,
339
00:24:52.279 --> 00:24:56.079
and they did a live show in
Milwaukee and I managed to get myself
340
00:24:56.079 --> 00:25:02.359
on stage with them for to tell
like my hometown murder story. And you
341
00:25:02.400 --> 00:25:03.720
know, it was like the kind
of thing where I kind of like I
342
00:25:03.759 --> 00:25:07.680
felt like I made it happen,
like I I willed the whole thing and
343
00:25:08.319 --> 00:25:14.319
got on stage and told a story
that that everyone thought. I mean,
344
00:25:14.519 --> 00:25:17.920
I mean everyone laughs when you're up
there anyway, But um, I told
345
00:25:17.920 --> 00:25:21.559
the story, and Karen and Georgia
talked about me and my story for days
346
00:25:21.680 --> 00:25:26.319
afterwards, and um, a lot
of people in Milwaukee like heard it and
347
00:25:26.759 --> 00:25:30.799
talked about you know. I mean, if you didn't listen to the podcast,
348
00:25:30.880 --> 00:25:33.000
you didn't still didn't know who I
was. But so but when that
349
00:25:33.119 --> 00:25:40.000
happened and kind of um got got
some small time notoriety, I thought,
350
00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:42.119
oh, well, this is the
time to start a podcast because this is
351
00:25:42.160 --> 00:25:47.359
the kind of shit that happens to
me. You know, I got myself
352
00:25:47.359 --> 00:25:49.920
on stage. So yeah, the
good ship, the good shit? Do
353
00:25:49.960 --> 00:25:53.920
you do you find that? Yeah? You need a balance, do guess
354
00:25:56.160 --> 00:25:59.400
how Now I'm like, wait,
I should think of a good story,
355
00:25:59.519 --> 00:26:03.440
some good shit that happened to me, just so I can balance out some
356
00:26:03.519 --> 00:26:06.880
of the bad shit. It's mostly
bad shit that people tell me. I
357
00:26:06.880 --> 00:26:12.160
mean, it's mostly like you know, yeah, like there's some bad shit
358
00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:17.200
that's happened, but but it's funny
bad shit also. I mean maybe at
359
00:26:17.200 --> 00:26:18.880
the time it happens to you,
it's not funny, but in retrospect it's
360
00:26:18.920 --> 00:26:23.039
funny. So I have a hard
time when I think when I say this
361
00:26:23.079 --> 00:26:26.880
shit happens to me, or do
I make the shit happen to myself.
362
00:26:26.240 --> 00:26:30.119
A lot of the work right now
is like a setting boundaries, being assertive
363
00:26:30.160 --> 00:26:33.720
in places that I need to be
communicated, being saying no. You know,
364
00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:37.240
like, as I get older,
thirty five has been for whatever reason,
365
00:26:37.319 --> 00:26:42.480
like a different switch went on.
It was the first time that maybe
366
00:26:42.480 --> 00:26:45.400
not the first time, but you
know, usually when when you have a
367
00:26:45.400 --> 00:26:48.319
birthday, people are like, how
do you feel, and you're like,
368
00:26:48.759 --> 00:26:55.559
fucking the same the day after the
yesterday, and I felt, you know,
369
00:26:55.599 --> 00:26:57.400
thirty four then, But thirty five
was one of those things where I
370
00:26:57.480 --> 00:27:00.279
kind of woke up and I looked
around. I was like, I am
371
00:27:00.319 --> 00:27:04.559
not the big sensation that I thought
I was copy and I'm still which is
372
00:27:04.559 --> 00:27:08.880
good. There's a level of like
I grew up having specific dreams which can
373
00:27:10.079 --> 00:27:14.640
still live in some place, but
as I get older and I'm mature,
374
00:27:14.680 --> 00:27:18.240
and I have to also be realistic
and focus on what's in front of me
375
00:27:18.279 --> 00:27:21.920
as opposed to what I don't have, you know, think about what I
376
00:27:21.920 --> 00:27:25.440
do have as opposed to what I
don't. And so many instants in my
377
00:27:25.480 --> 00:27:30.279
life I look back on little shit
of where I've just so badly wanted to
378
00:27:30.279 --> 00:27:34.960
be tough, but all I end
up doing is just like being nice in
379
00:27:36.000 --> 00:27:41.480
a grumpy way. Like there was
I was walking my dog once and he
380
00:27:41.559 --> 00:27:45.079
was kind of like a challenge.
My last dog. He was, you
381
00:27:45.079 --> 00:27:48.799
know, behaviorally, so he's strong. And my neighborhood was full of dogs
382
00:27:49.920 --> 00:27:53.200
and a lot of cars people just
kind of not paying attention. And this
383
00:27:53.279 --> 00:27:56.960
guy I watched. I stopped with
the dog like a good distance because I
384
00:27:56.960 --> 00:28:00.680
could tell that this guy was not
paying attention. He's like rolling up too
385
00:28:00.680 --> 00:28:03.079
fast to a stop sign and rolls
up to the stop windows down to the
386
00:28:03.079 --> 00:28:08.039
stop sign, hands both hands on
the phone, so maybe driving with the
387
00:28:08.119 --> 00:28:15.000
knee, I'm not sure. Pulls
halfway through a stop sign, comes to
388
00:28:15.119 --> 00:28:18.000
a stop and I'm standing right by
his open window, and if I wasn't
389
00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:22.640
paying attention, he would have hit
me and the dog. And I got
390
00:28:22.680 --> 00:28:26.039
the clear message in my mind of
like, this is your fucking moment,
391
00:28:26.279 --> 00:28:30.599
this is the time for you to
be tough. You gotta tell this guy
392
00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:36.319
off is this is dangerous. He
needs to pay attention. And I go
393
00:28:36.480 --> 00:28:40.960
hey, and he looks over,
but he looks like he was totally to
394
00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:42.039
know I was there. He looks
over like a little kid, like was
395
00:28:42.039 --> 00:28:45.480
like looking at Christmas presence. He's
like, oh, And I wanted to
396
00:28:45.480 --> 00:28:48.359
be like, you're a fucking piece
of shit, and I just said just
397
00:28:49.519 --> 00:28:56.039
drive safe. And then he drove
away. That was like. And as
398
00:28:56.039 --> 00:28:57.799
he left, I was like,
I should have punched him. I should
399
00:28:57.799 --> 00:29:03.119
have done something that it's time to
be tough guy. Yeah, And all
400
00:29:03.160 --> 00:29:08.039
I could come up with was drive
safe. So we got the message across.
401
00:29:08.559 --> 00:29:12.640
Maybe he's listening. I hope he's
listening. And yeah, and Will
402
00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:17.200
wants to tell him not only is
he a fucking piece of shit, but
403
00:29:17.240 --> 00:29:19.839
he should drive safe. I mean
that was the more important message. That's
404
00:29:19.960 --> 00:29:22.039
right. You can be both of
those things, right, Yeah, Like
405
00:29:22.079 --> 00:29:25.640
if you just call him a piece
of shit, he might not have known
406
00:29:26.119 --> 00:29:30.799
he should be driving safe. Right, that's right, Right, I should
407
00:29:30.839 --> 00:29:33.319
get the bumper sticker, drive safe, piece of shit, right, right,
408
00:29:33.160 --> 00:29:37.319
it's a nice thing and then a
backhand, you know, after the
409
00:29:37.359 --> 00:29:41.240
compliment or after the kind suggest I'm
pretty good at calling people out, but
410
00:29:42.559 --> 00:29:45.200
I don't know. And my son's
called me a Karen, and I don't
411
00:29:45.200 --> 00:29:49.559
think that applies. I do not
think I'm a Karen. And I asked
412
00:29:49.640 --> 00:29:55.119
him that's a very speci I know
I am not. I know I am
413
00:29:55.160 --> 00:30:00.680
not a Karen. And I've asked
my students who are in that generation,
414
00:30:00.759 --> 00:30:03.640
am I a Karen? And they
assure me that I'm not. I hope
415
00:30:03.640 --> 00:30:07.240
they're not just saying that yeah to
you know, because I grade them.
416
00:30:07.359 --> 00:30:11.039
But do you constantly ask do you
constantly make like a server at a restaurant's
417
00:30:11.039 --> 00:30:15.920
life? No? No, no, no, okay, but that's one
418
00:30:15.960 --> 00:30:18.880
point. Good. I don't.
I don't do that. I but if
419
00:30:18.920 --> 00:30:23.759
something is wrong, I am not
afraid to call it out. So but
420
00:30:23.799 --> 00:30:26.839
I try to act. I think
that's good. I know I'm assertive.
421
00:30:27.119 --> 00:30:33.680
You know you're trying to be assertive, like, yeah, anyway, this
422
00:30:33.400 --> 00:30:38.400
is not about me, Well,
oh well, it's we can share a
423
00:30:38.440 --> 00:30:42.079
conversation. I think also, because
I like have hosted things for so long,
424
00:30:42.160 --> 00:30:45.119
I also have questions. I'm like, but let's talk about it,
425
00:30:45.319 --> 00:30:48.640
right right. Um, So I
do want to ask you, though,
426
00:30:49.000 --> 00:30:55.599
there's one other thing that you've mentioned
here about, um partying with the Real
427
00:30:55.759 --> 00:31:00.039
Housewives. Did you party with the
Real Housewives? I definitely want to hear
428
00:31:00.039 --> 00:31:04.319
about that. Yeah. Two two
of that well too, one from a
429
00:31:04.680 --> 00:31:11.559
Housewives show and one from a vander
Pump Rules. Okay, and I'm sure
430
00:31:11.599 --> 00:31:15.960
you know where both of these nights
end up. Now, I am somebody
431
00:31:17.039 --> 00:31:22.960
when I partied with this person from
Housewives. I am now out as a
432
00:31:23.079 --> 00:31:30.279
queer man identify as queer. At
the time, this wasn't an idea that
433
00:31:30.319 --> 00:31:33.240
I could make sense to me.
I was still sort of living in this
434
00:31:33.960 --> 00:31:37.640
like trying to make the binary make
sense of like you're either straight or you're
435
00:31:37.680 --> 00:31:38.880
not. You know, or you're
gay or you're not, you're lesbian.
436
00:31:40.279 --> 00:31:41.880
But I had, you know,
friends who are trans and friends who identified
437
00:31:41.839 --> 00:31:45.799
as queer. I'm binding. I
understood some of these things existed, but
438
00:31:45.880 --> 00:31:51.119
I didn't know that I could make
it make sense for myself. And um,
439
00:31:51.559 --> 00:31:52.960
this didn't happen until much later that
I was like, oh, this
440
00:31:53.039 --> 00:32:00.680
is who I am. But part
of the confusion was during this single time
441
00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:06.319
in my ethical slut days, hooking
up with guys and knowing that it was
442
00:32:06.359 --> 00:32:10.079
something that I wanted to do,
but not one hundred percent sure why or
443
00:32:10.079 --> 00:32:13.559
what it meant, but then also
not giving it a lot of thought,
444
00:32:13.559 --> 00:32:15.759
being like, that's just fine.
Let's just like let it be what it
445
00:32:15.839 --> 00:32:22.880
is. And so we go out
for the Brandy Glamville a friend of mine
446
00:32:22.880 --> 00:32:24.680
who has a podcast here on Straw. She I used to produce her show.
447
00:32:24.720 --> 00:32:30.640
Actually she was having a birthday and
my dog had just the same dog
448
00:32:30.680 --> 00:32:34.039
that I was walking the store,
had passed away, maybe two weeks or
449
00:32:34.039 --> 00:32:39.440
so before, so tough time.
He was an important thing in my life
450
00:32:39.440 --> 00:32:44.200
that transitioned sort of got him in
my first marriage. Then he came with
451
00:32:44.240 --> 00:32:46.240
me and we had, you know, our little relationship and he was like
452
00:32:46.279 --> 00:32:50.839
my little copilot for so long.
So it was tough to lose him.
453
00:32:50.839 --> 00:32:53.039
And so another grief period sends me
into the spiral of like, well,
454
00:32:53.119 --> 00:32:59.000
let's time to party and go crazy. And we started at this mascuan food
455
00:32:59.000 --> 00:33:02.079
restaurant. I don't I don't know
if you've ever if you've met or heard
456
00:33:02.079 --> 00:33:07.640
of Brandy, but in her company
and I think she would admit to this.
457
00:33:07.759 --> 00:33:10.960
She can turn it up to like
not just eleven, she can go
458
00:33:12.759 --> 00:33:17.039
it goes higher. And I was
in the zone of being like, whatever
459
00:33:17.119 --> 00:33:21.720
you say, like I'm gonna do
because I just wanted to run away so
460
00:33:21.839 --> 00:33:27.799
much from We're at dinner and she
she goes, hey, guys, I
461
00:33:27.920 --> 00:33:30.200
know it's like, thank you guys
all for coming out for my birthday.
462
00:33:31.359 --> 00:33:35.559
Will's dog just died, so I
feel really bad for him. And I
463
00:33:35.680 --> 00:33:37.200
was like, great, now I
have this attension on me. I don't
464
00:33:37.200 --> 00:33:39.240
know why you needed to say that
in front of all your friends, but
465
00:33:39.279 --> 00:33:44.119
okay. Which one of her friends
was a very handsome, attractive man,
466
00:33:44.640 --> 00:33:52.920
and I remember going to this this
bar where they knew her and loved her,
467
00:33:53.559 --> 00:34:00.480
and we got like free bottle service. I think the manager what they
468
00:34:00.480 --> 00:34:05.000
were They were sharing bumps of not
Brandy, but the manager and certain people
469
00:34:05.039 --> 00:34:07.799
who had sort of tagged along strangers
kind of just end up walking up.
470
00:34:07.839 --> 00:34:10.920
People are doing cocaine in the corner. I may have had some myself that
471
00:34:10.920 --> 00:34:16.440
that's to be determined. We won't
talk about that. And this guy who's
472
00:34:16.480 --> 00:34:22.320
there is I'm just like, this
thing's like a great idea. I really
473
00:34:22.320 --> 00:34:25.800
want to go after this guy.
So he comes home with me and you
474
00:34:25.840 --> 00:34:31.239
know, we do the thing,
and the next morning it's very awkward because
475
00:34:31.239 --> 00:34:37.119
the questions are all like, are
you sure you're straight? And I'm like,
476
00:34:37.119 --> 00:34:42.239
I don't know how to answer this
question, so I guess I'm just
477
00:34:42.519 --> 00:34:46.800
not gonna and then getting a lot
of text messages from this person afterward,
478
00:34:47.000 --> 00:34:50.519
not forever, but you know,
a week or two of like, let's
479
00:34:50.559 --> 00:34:53.239
hang out again, let's say,
and having no clue, you know,
480
00:34:53.280 --> 00:34:58.480
how to handle this thing that I
had put in a box apparently my entire
481
00:34:58.519 --> 00:35:01.039
life, or knew that it was
okay, you know, to feel this
482
00:35:01.039 --> 00:35:07.559
way or have these these these hookups
during my ethical slut days. Um.
483
00:35:07.639 --> 00:35:12.159
And so in a long way around, you know, it's like Brandy and
484
00:35:12.239 --> 00:35:15.840
this wild birthday, and some of
these experiences help lead to the fact that
485
00:35:15.920 --> 00:35:21.519
eventually I become a more confident person. Who can I you know, claim
486
00:35:21.559 --> 00:35:23.599
my identity, come out as that
thing, embrace that thing, live is
487
00:35:23.639 --> 00:35:28.960
that thing. Um. So even
in the wild party days, it can
488
00:35:29.000 --> 00:35:35.639
still lead to some good shit happening
very often, and I think you're lucky.
489
00:35:35.840 --> 00:35:39.760
It's it's fortunate if you can do
this, if you can move I'm
490
00:35:39.760 --> 00:35:45.920
going to get psychological if you can
move through the shit into what you can
491
00:35:46.079 --> 00:35:52.760
learn or create or make sense of
or you know, kind of claim us
492
00:35:52.920 --> 00:35:58.440
as a result of you know,
because like shit's always going to happen,
493
00:35:58.519 --> 00:36:01.239
like really bad shit is going to
happen to us all the time, you
494
00:36:01.280 --> 00:36:07.719
know, somewhere than others. And
um, if we can find a way
495
00:36:07.800 --> 00:36:13.719
to you know, make some meaning
from that, then um, that's the
496
00:36:14.079 --> 00:36:16.159
probably the best thing we can we
can do with it at that point,
497
00:36:17.480 --> 00:36:22.039
right. So yeah, So that
so that was something good that came out
498
00:36:22.039 --> 00:36:25.239
of yea that? Yeah? Yeah, I mean I think good things came
499
00:36:25.280 --> 00:36:29.239
out of out of all of it. I'm somebody who likes to say also,
500
00:36:29.280 --> 00:36:30.400
like, you know, I wouldn't
be who I am in the present
501
00:36:30.440 --> 00:36:35.519
without the past. I like myself, which is helpful. I have my
502
00:36:35.559 --> 00:36:38.920
bad days, obviously, but there's
no I think a lot of people I
503
00:36:38.960 --> 00:36:43.360
feel always feel like people talk about
like what are your biggest regrets? Yeah,
504
00:36:43.400 --> 00:36:49.000
and that's such a I think a
horrible way to look at your own
505
00:36:49.079 --> 00:36:52.360
past, because what can you do
about it? Like what's the point of
506
00:36:52.800 --> 00:36:57.960
Yeah, regret is not you know, is just not helpful? So correct
507
00:36:58.079 --> 00:37:00.679
I don't really have any regrets.
Luckily, there's no past of mine that's
508
00:37:00.719 --> 00:37:07.840
like really violent or crazy or or
you know, horrible. But still there's
509
00:37:07.880 --> 00:37:10.840
like there's the ship that happens to
me or to anybody that you might not
510
00:37:10.880 --> 00:37:14.519
be proud of or embarrassed by,
but at the end of the day,
511
00:37:15.480 --> 00:37:20.079
it still brings you to, you
know, ideally a more complete place,
512
00:37:20.239 --> 00:37:24.920
or at least a place where you're
dedicated to doing the work of becoming better,
513
00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:28.519
becoming stronger, becoming more self aware. And I think you know,
514
00:37:28.519 --> 00:37:31.159
all these experiences are tied to that
as well. I mean, I'm totally
515
00:37:31.199 --> 00:37:35.559
with you on that. Will I
mean, I wish I hadn't dropped the
516
00:37:35.639 --> 00:37:42.400
nail polish on my new page Genom
slacks that were kind of a splurt ruin
517
00:37:42.480 --> 00:37:45.400
it. I literally I came home, I took them off and I put
518
00:37:45.440 --> 00:37:51.800
them on on the counter and I
haven't touched them since because so I don't
519
00:37:51.800 --> 00:37:53.880
know what I'm going to do about
them. But but no, I don't
520
00:37:53.880 --> 00:37:59.800
have any regrets. I try to
try to make something out of everything,
521
00:38:00.159 --> 00:38:02.880
you know, learn a lesson in
everything that I do. Go to bad.
522
00:38:04.079 --> 00:38:07.880
So I've been I've had a very
fortunate life, I have to say,
523
00:38:07.360 --> 00:38:12.920
so, um, have a lot
of privilege and opportunity. But um,
524
00:38:12.960 --> 00:38:17.239
even when shit happens, I'm I
feel so far I've been able to
525
00:38:17.599 --> 00:38:22.159
make something out of that. So
but that's what I tell my clients also.
526
00:38:22.679 --> 00:38:29.119
So yeah, it's not regrets are
just unhelpful. It's like guilt.
527
00:38:29.440 --> 00:38:32.760
It doesn't really help us at all. Right, Well, um, any
528
00:38:32.800 --> 00:38:38.199
other any other shit you want to
talk about or questions you want to ask
529
00:38:38.599 --> 00:38:45.199
me or interview for you. Yeah, Um, the I think it's sort
530
00:38:45.239 --> 00:38:47.639
of saying like the juggling too many
things at once. You know, you're
531
00:38:47.639 --> 00:38:52.159
like, why do I do this? Yeah, I'm somebody who who's very
532
00:38:52.159 --> 00:38:55.079
good at taking on probably more than
I should because of the difficulty of saying
533
00:38:55.119 --> 00:38:58.800
no. So I say yes to
a lot of things and end up overwhelming
534
00:38:58.800 --> 00:39:05.119
myself and don't to let people down. Um, and you know when that
535
00:39:05.119 --> 00:39:07.000
all comes to a head, then
you know, I'm talking to my therapist
536
00:39:07.079 --> 00:39:09.960
and he's saying like, well,
you know, this is sort of what
537
00:39:10.079 --> 00:39:15.519
happens as a result of juggling too
many things at once, and it's the
538
00:39:15.559 --> 00:39:20.760
metaphorical spilling nail polishing myself. Yeah, I guess that that it that it
539
00:39:20.800 --> 00:39:23.599
could be, but I think that
was I mean, I think that's when
540
00:39:23.679 --> 00:39:30.480
I think about being married young and
this shit happening to me at that time.
541
00:39:30.679 --> 00:39:34.239
It's interesting to see it now,
obviously kind of with some clarity,
542
00:39:34.760 --> 00:39:38.639
but to know that that, I
mean, that relationship served its purpose.
543
00:39:38.840 --> 00:39:43.000
But there was plenty of moments in
there where, you know, we can
544
00:39:43.079 --> 00:39:46.920
look back and say like, oh, shit was happening, but I couldn't
545
00:39:46.920 --> 00:39:52.280
see it at the time, and
there was it just it wasn't going to
546
00:39:52.280 --> 00:39:57.440
work, you know, I think
between us and there, there was a
547
00:39:57.440 --> 00:40:01.960
lot of moments that that may it
clear, but it kind of came to
548
00:40:02.039 --> 00:40:12.760
a head when I proposed an open
marriage. And this is a just because
549
00:40:12.800 --> 00:40:15.519
I wasn't ready to say, do
I view our c you know, like
550
00:40:15.559 --> 00:40:19.679
I was like, wow, I
don't know how to let this go.
551
00:40:20.519 --> 00:40:25.960
And the specifics of this we can
leave unknown. But that was a hard
552
00:40:27.239 --> 00:40:31.519
that was a hard thing to learn, or at least learning it the hard
553
00:40:31.559 --> 00:40:38.599
way that an open marriage is not
for me and I. Luckily, when
554
00:40:38.639 --> 00:40:45.079
we kind of came back together to
unpack things, we're able to come to
555
00:40:45.159 --> 00:40:47.039
the conclusion that like, yeah,
you know, we should go our separate
556
00:40:47.079 --> 00:40:52.840
ways and kind of pursue things.
But but in the panic of not wanting
557
00:40:52.880 --> 00:40:57.440
to assert myself or establish you know, say no, basically saying like this
558
00:40:57.599 --> 00:40:59.639
is what I want. What I
want is to get out of this.
559
00:40:59.760 --> 00:41:01.760
I think it's you sound like you
want the same thing. So let me
560
00:41:01.800 --> 00:41:08.159
propose something that well, basically you
know, won't work as a way to
561
00:41:08.199 --> 00:41:13.239
sort of sabotage, not sabotage,
but but in the in the long run,
562
00:41:13.320 --> 00:41:17.800
get us around to where we probably
needed to be anyway. So um,
563
00:41:19.639 --> 00:41:23.079
yeah, I mean I think that, and I'm grateful even too,
564
00:41:23.119 --> 00:41:25.840
you know, for that marriage and
that relationship and that person, because it's
565
00:41:25.880 --> 00:41:29.800
the same thing. You know,
it's the amount of like movies and TVs.
566
00:41:29.800 --> 00:41:30.960
I got my fucking X wife,
my ex husband. I'm like,
567
00:41:31.559 --> 00:41:37.320
it's such a it's such a cliche
of the way that we look at our
568
00:41:37.400 --> 00:41:40.679
exes, but also the way that
we It changed the way that I look
569
00:41:40.679 --> 00:41:45.000
at marriage. I was raised religious
and am no longer, but there is
570
00:41:45.039 --> 00:41:49.880
this sort of holiness associated with with
marriage, and if you get a divorce,
571
00:41:49.960 --> 00:41:52.840
even socially or culturally, I think
people are like there's still a little
572
00:41:52.840 --> 00:41:57.800
bit of the like your damage goods. And when I was going out to
573
00:41:57.920 --> 00:42:02.960
start dating, I hadn't dated ever
since I was seventeen years I didn't date.
574
00:42:02.960 --> 00:42:05.599
I was in high school, like, you know, really date.
575
00:42:05.800 --> 00:42:08.400
So as somebody who's like finally on
tender, like, oh the swipes,
576
00:42:08.840 --> 00:42:13.119
I can't wait to see what this
is all about. It's it's bullshit,
577
00:42:13.280 --> 00:42:19.599
actually, but um coming from from
thinking of it as like a holy institution
578
00:42:19.719 --> 00:42:23.800
of marriage to now sort of having
the opinion that it's just an expensive breakup.
579
00:42:24.119 --> 00:42:30.239
You know, I don't know it
it changed the way that I looked
580
00:42:30.239 --> 00:42:31.800
at things. I'm somebody who when
I make a commitment, I'm going to
581
00:42:32.199 --> 00:42:36.679
do a lot of work to keep
that commitment. But if I'm doing a
582
00:42:36.679 --> 00:42:37.920
lot of work and it's not upheld
on the other side, even when it
583
00:42:37.920 --> 00:42:43.119
comes to friendships or other relationships,
it becomes unsustainable, you know. And
584
00:42:43.199 --> 00:42:46.880
I think a lot of people I
have met much older ages will say things
585
00:42:46.920 --> 00:42:50.920
like, well, well, we
stayed together, you know, because that's
586
00:42:50.920 --> 00:42:52.800
the right thing to do, And
I'm like, so you've just been miserable
587
00:42:52.840 --> 00:42:58.519
for twenty five years. Like there
there is a version of this where it
588
00:42:58.800 --> 00:43:02.800
could have led to some finding of
authenticity and independence. And I'm grateful,
589
00:43:02.920 --> 00:43:06.719
you know that that should happen to
lead me to that place because now I'm
590
00:43:06.960 --> 00:43:09.920
married to a wonderful person and committed
to this person. It's not like,
591
00:43:10.199 --> 00:43:14.400
you know, throwing it away,
like our marriage doesn't mean anything but the
592
00:43:14.480 --> 00:43:21.320
stigma, you know, and how
we kind of feel like me especially like
593
00:43:21.360 --> 00:43:23.880
the failure element of it. You
know, took a minute to sort of
594
00:43:24.039 --> 00:43:29.519
get past, and I mean now
feel good. But but it was interesting.
595
00:43:29.559 --> 00:43:31.199
You know. I obviously didn't anticipate
any of that stuff when I got
596
00:43:31.199 --> 00:43:34.480
married, and to be doing it
at twenty nine, I was like,
597
00:43:34.519 --> 00:43:37.280
I'm too young for this. I
thought people got divorced when they were fifty.
598
00:43:37.679 --> 00:43:42.360
This is not the age that you
get divorced. But again, wouldn't
599
00:43:42.360 --> 00:43:44.840
be me in the present without the
past. So it all worked out.
600
00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:49.480
Yeah, Well, and anyone who
says, you know, I stayed there,
601
00:43:49.800 --> 00:43:52.840
that's they're saying that in a very
high and mighty kind of way,
602
00:43:53.320 --> 00:44:00.119
you know. So you know,
you you do you, buddy, and
603
00:44:00.840 --> 00:44:06.480
you you do you like no one
can like judge um judge it. You
604
00:44:06.519 --> 00:44:09.840
have to do what's what's best for
you. So and you know, in
605
00:44:10.280 --> 00:44:17.280
our culture like childhood sweethearts are highly
romanticized, you know kind of phenomena.
606
00:44:17.440 --> 00:44:22.679
And but it you know, that
doesn't mean you have to stay in something
607
00:44:22.760 --> 00:44:28.880
that is not not good for you. And what you're saying that good for
608
00:44:28.920 --> 00:44:31.760
either of you. So have you
ever seen Go Ahead? No? Not
609
00:44:31.880 --> 00:44:36.920
gone? It's a total other tangent. We don't need to walk down that
610
00:44:37.000 --> 00:44:38.679
road. So off, I know, I was just gonna say, have
611
00:44:38.719 --> 00:44:43.760
you ever seen the movie, Um, I'm sure you have, um Eternal
612
00:44:43.960 --> 00:44:47.400
Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Yeah, yeah, so I where you know
613
00:44:47.440 --> 00:44:52.519
they basically they erase their mind so
they can forget about the other person.
614
00:44:52.039 --> 00:44:58.440
But then they they they won't learn
those lessons that you are that you are
615
00:44:58.480 --> 00:45:01.000
talking about, right, Yeah,
I think that's the I mean, that's
616
00:45:01.000 --> 00:45:06.719
a common thing I think for life
is like people want to do things to
617
00:45:06.800 --> 00:45:08.920
avoid work. And I'm sure you
see this, you know as a therapist,
618
00:45:08.960 --> 00:45:14.320
Like, that's that is the work, right coming and being open to
619
00:45:14.559 --> 00:45:17.599
change and open to work and open
to not having the answers. And we
620
00:45:17.719 --> 00:45:22.480
see it in as big of things
as like psychology, and as little of
621
00:45:22.519 --> 00:45:24.400
things of being like sprinkle this powder
on your hot dogs and you can still
622
00:45:24.440 --> 00:45:30.360
lose weight, you know, like
there's every angle of trying to eliminate the
623
00:45:30.400 --> 00:45:37.280
work, but unfortunately the only thing
that's true about life is that the work
624
00:45:37.719 --> 00:45:39.360
must be done. I mean,
I was thinking this like an hour ago
625
00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:45.440
before I jumped on here. Sometimes
to get personal projects done, you know,
626
00:45:45.480 --> 00:45:47.400
I have to make time or find
time, and I'm realizing, like
627
00:45:47.440 --> 00:45:51.559
there's things that I'm falling behind on
that I want for myself, and the
628
00:45:51.599 --> 00:45:52.800
only way to make it happen sometimes
is like I gotta get up at five
629
00:45:52.840 --> 00:45:55.840
am, you know, I gotta
get up at five thirty in order to
630
00:45:55.880 --> 00:45:59.800
be able to take care of this. I can bitch and moan as much
631
00:45:59.840 --> 00:46:02.199
as I want about how pissed off
I am that other people and other things
632
00:46:02.199 --> 00:46:07.000
are wasting my time in my opinion, but it doesn't change the fact that
633
00:46:07.199 --> 00:46:09.599
those things give me money. So
I don't I mean, I say,
634
00:46:09.599 --> 00:46:14.119
I don't have to do them,
but they help when it comes to paying
635
00:46:14.159 --> 00:46:19.480
pills and paying rent, and so
the personal projects end up getting sometimes the
636
00:46:19.519 --> 00:46:22.800
short end of the stick, and
in order to make them happen, you
637
00:46:22.840 --> 00:46:27.920
know, it's an acceptance of of
humbling myself and knowing like I have to
638
00:46:27.920 --> 00:46:31.920
do the work, and I think
learning life lessons is a big part of
639
00:46:31.960 --> 00:46:37.320
that. I've seen people who are
much older in age who behave like sixteen
640
00:46:37.360 --> 00:46:38.440
year olds, you know, and
I'm like blown away that. I'm like,
641
00:46:38.440 --> 00:46:42.960
Wow, you made it this far
and you're still reacting to these situations.
642
00:46:43.000 --> 00:46:46.079
A Karen would be this in this
scenario, and I don't I don't
643
00:46:46.119 --> 00:46:51.280
think that you know, you have
chosen a profession that I think usually doesn't
644
00:46:51.280 --> 00:46:55.199
go along with Karen. So I
think you should be rest assured that you're
645
00:46:55.480 --> 00:46:59.599
you're you're It's very likely that you
are not a Karen. I'm going to
646
00:46:59.639 --> 00:47:02.239
give you my son's phone number and
you can call him and say, hey,
647
00:47:02.280 --> 00:47:06.119
I just talked to your mother for
like an hour and she is not
648
00:47:06.239 --> 00:47:13.199
a parent, so you stop calling
her that exactly. Yeah. Well,
649
00:47:13.320 --> 00:47:16.000
well, I really enjoy talking to
you. I want to thank you so
650
00:47:16.079 --> 00:47:21.039
much for coming on, and I
want to wish you a lot of luck
651
00:47:21.079 --> 00:47:27.679
with your all of your projects,
your podcast History Rated R, your upcoming
652
00:47:27.719 --> 00:47:32.280
novel, Fame by Misadventure, and
all of the other, all the other
653
00:47:32.320 --> 00:47:40.239
things any anywhere else we can see
you in the near future. No upcoming
654
00:47:42.280 --> 00:47:45.880
film or TV projects. Currently,
I was in a feature film called The
655
00:47:45.920 --> 00:47:51.079
Dinner Parting, which has made its
festival circuit run so nice. I'm hoping
656
00:47:51.360 --> 00:47:53.559
within twenty twenty three will be the
year that you know, it'll be on
657
00:47:53.599 --> 00:47:58.800
Amazon or Hulu or whatever where people
can constume they're working out the deal.
658
00:47:58.960 --> 00:48:02.719
But if people want to take notes
about the thing, it's like I have
659
00:48:02.800 --> 00:48:07.880
these things have coming up that aren't
released. So if people like these dumb
660
00:48:07.880 --> 00:48:10.719
stories that I told or the tambre
of my voice, and they want to
661
00:48:12.239 --> 00:48:15.360
know more about me, take out
your yellow legal pad and write down the
662
00:48:15.440 --> 00:48:19.239
name of my book and the name
of my movie, The Dinner Party,
663
00:48:19.400 --> 00:48:22.840
and be sure to google it periodically
until it becomes available. I think I
664
00:48:22.920 --> 00:48:28.239
think that's reasonable. It's a request. But like I said, life is
665
00:48:28.280 --> 00:48:31.360
work. Yeah, so don't fucking
dodge the work. Listeners, do the
666
00:48:31.400 --> 00:48:37.639
work and support me, don't.
It's about my value. Be a fucking
667
00:48:37.679 --> 00:48:40.719
asshole whatever. Whatever That guy was
who yes, exactly, but Drive said,
668
00:48:40.800 --> 00:48:45.760
yeah, yeah, okay, that
was Will Sterling on this show today,
669
00:48:45.039 --> 00:48:50.159
And um, Maggie, he's a
friend of yours. Huh he is,
670
00:48:50.239 --> 00:48:52.119
Yeah, we've known each other for
a long time. We met in
671
00:48:52.199 --> 00:48:57.360
college. Nice, so um.
So you've known him like all through like
672
00:48:57.760 --> 00:49:02.880
those days he was talking about being
marriage was childhood sweetheart and unfortunately getting divorced
673
00:49:02.960 --> 00:49:07.239
and everything like that. Yeah,
he's actually he's one of Ryan's best friends.
674
00:49:07.480 --> 00:49:12.960
So I really know him more because
of Ryan. Although I knew Will
675
00:49:13.000 --> 00:49:16.199
and I knew each other before Ryan
and I were an item because we all
676
00:49:16.280 --> 00:49:20.440
kind of hunk. We all they
were in the film department. Yeah,
677
00:49:20.440 --> 00:49:22.079
Will was in the film department.
They were in the film department together,
678
00:49:22.119 --> 00:49:27.039
and one of my close friends is
close with them, and so there was
679
00:49:27.039 --> 00:49:30.639
this kind of whole group of group
of us. But yeah, I did.
680
00:49:30.679 --> 00:49:36.920
I knew his first wife and was
there for that. I didn't go.
681
00:49:36.960 --> 00:49:38.840
I think Ryan was at the wedding. Maybe maybe not. I don't
682
00:49:38.880 --> 00:49:43.239
know when they got married exactly,
but but yeah, I've seen a lot.
683
00:49:43.280 --> 00:49:46.400
I've seen a lot of it.
And I have the the the group
684
00:49:46.599 --> 00:49:52.400
chat text message that he referenced in
his story when he hitchhiked over Laurel Canyon.
685
00:49:52.639 --> 00:49:55.199
So I pulled it up during the
interview to look at it, and
686
00:49:55.239 --> 00:49:59.239
I was like, yeah, there
it is, and the response from the
687
00:49:59.400 --> 00:50:02.719
group chat was was very funny.
Let's hear. It was like, what
688
00:50:02.760 --> 00:50:06.960
are you talking about? Why hasn't
done this? You want to hear the
689
00:50:07.000 --> 00:50:09.679
message I do, or you want
to hear the responses both. I want
690
00:50:09.679 --> 00:50:14.719
to hear already heard the story.
I suppose one thing he left out I
691
00:50:14.760 --> 00:50:21.480
can tell you is that he had
stopped at Jack in the Box on the
692
00:50:21.519 --> 00:50:24.119
walk and so he did eat something
on the way. Okay, oh,
693
00:50:24.199 --> 00:50:30.519
and some seven eleven tikidos when he
got home. Did you all think,
694
00:50:30.599 --> 00:50:32.440
like, what the hells are wrong
with you? Will? That you would
695
00:50:32.440 --> 00:50:38.119
do such a thing? Um?
Well, our friend Arturou said, wow,
696
00:50:38.159 --> 00:50:42.000
good luck on the toilet Maniana.
I guess after the Jack in the
697
00:50:42.039 --> 00:50:45.920
Box and the tikidos? Yeah,
Will said he had been on a Hobbits
698
00:50:46.000 --> 00:50:53.039
journey. Um what else? Our
friend Jill said, file under multiple things
699
00:50:53.039 --> 00:51:01.400
a woman should probably never ever attempt. I asked, did you walk Dave
700
00:51:01.440 --> 00:51:05.920
and have a shot when you got
home? And he did? He said
701
00:51:05.920 --> 00:51:07.559
he did walk a dog when he
got home. The dog's name is but
702
00:51:07.679 --> 00:51:12.719
no, Dave was Dave. That
was his old dog, Yeah, Okave
703
00:51:12.880 --> 00:51:16.559
Dave. Another friend Sam said,
I don't really remember the plot of Homeward
704
00:51:16.599 --> 00:51:21.360
Bound two Lost in San Francisco.
But I think it's basically that. So
705
00:51:22.239 --> 00:51:24.480
that was that was how that was
the responses he got from our group chat
706
00:51:25.239 --> 00:51:31.400
Okay after he shared his journey.
Yeah, so I think, you know,
707
00:51:32.000 --> 00:51:38.119
kind of like um Noam who shared
a lot of stories after have you
708
00:51:38.159 --> 00:51:44.280
know, um maybe drank too much
and making you know, poor decisions.
709
00:51:44.920 --> 00:51:50.920
Um, yeah, I think that
he's he has. So the episode kind
710
00:51:50.920 --> 00:51:54.079
of you know, turned a little
bit talking about all of these like ha
711
00:51:54.079 --> 00:52:00.199
ha funny things like he almost got
murdered because he was hitchhiking to eat.
712
00:52:00.239 --> 00:52:05.400
Philosophical you know, questions about you
know, what we can learn from our
713
00:52:05.440 --> 00:52:10.079
mistakes and meaning we can draw and
you know, I wouldn't be my present
714
00:52:10.159 --> 00:52:15.360
self without my past self, so
you know, um yeah, so I
715
00:52:15.400 --> 00:52:22.519
got to kind of flex my my
humor and my psychology muscles in the episode
716
00:52:22.559 --> 00:52:25.559
with Will today, which was all
great. Yeah I think so. And
717
00:52:25.639 --> 00:52:30.559
you know Will is also one to
to wax philosophical, so for sure I
718
00:52:30.599 --> 00:52:34.360
think he was. He was really
in a day game today too, So
719
00:52:34.440 --> 00:52:37.199
I think it was a good It
was a good conversation. Yeah, it
720
00:52:37.280 --> 00:52:42.400
was great. So everyone should look
for his podcast history Rated R and his
721
00:52:42.559 --> 00:52:50.719
novel fame by misadventure, and the
dinner parting is maybe the movie, isn't
722
00:52:50.719 --> 00:52:53.119
that? What was called dinner party? I think dinner party party, but
723
00:52:53.400 --> 00:52:57.519
it sounded like he stretched that word
out, but I could be wrong.
724
00:52:58.119 --> 00:53:01.679
Dinner party. Well, A good
way I'd say to to keep up with
725
00:53:01.760 --> 00:53:06.800
him would be to go and follow
him on Instagram, and he is Will
726
00:53:06.960 --> 00:53:10.599
Sterling underscore I think, Yeah,
there's an underscore at the end. But
727
00:53:10.639 --> 00:53:13.920
you'll know, you'll see him.
There's a little you know, there's like
728
00:53:13.920 --> 00:53:19.079
a fur coat picture, that's a
picture of his new Frankenstein tattoo. Let's
729
00:53:19.119 --> 00:53:23.559
get some picks with with a eyeliner. You'll you'll you'll know it's him when
730
00:53:23.559 --> 00:53:27.440
you see it. You know.
Well, I will say I almost mentioned
731
00:53:27.480 --> 00:53:30.960
this to him and then just opted
not. But when I googled him,
732
00:53:31.719 --> 00:53:36.639
there are some there are some,
um, you know, nice pictures of
733
00:53:36.679 --> 00:53:40.239
Will. He's a nice looking guy. And and there's there's there's one picture
734
00:53:40.559 --> 00:53:45.800
like kind of with his shirt open
and looks like maybe he did some like
735
00:53:46.800 --> 00:53:50.039
you know, he works out.
It could tell that he Let's just put
736
00:53:50.039 --> 00:53:53.000
it that way. You could tell
that Will works out, and he does
737
00:53:53.039 --> 00:53:57.320
work out. Yeah, so maybe
he did some modeling too. In his
738
00:53:58.519 --> 00:54:02.639
he he did a lot of pause
playing as a Superman. Actually, oh
739
00:54:02.679 --> 00:54:06.760
so he got pretty buff for a
while. He's he's he's tooped it down
740
00:54:06.800 --> 00:54:08.639
a little bit in recent years,
but he did. He did get really
741
00:54:08.679 --> 00:54:15.119
into fitness and does does a pretty
convincing Superman. So well, yeah,
742
00:54:15.199 --> 00:54:19.599
I'm gonna have to I'm gonna have
to follow up with him about about that
743
00:54:19.639 --> 00:54:24.000
Superman. So I'm like, okay, yeah, all right, yeah.
744
00:54:24.039 --> 00:54:30.800
Well thanks Maggie, and thanks everyone, and we'll see you next time.
745
00:54:31.360 --> 00:54:35.880
Thanks for listening to my ship.
I really appreciate it. Come back and
746
00:54:36.000 --> 00:54:38.039
hear more shit next time on the
Ship that Happens to Me podcast? Do
747
00:54:38.079 --> 00:54:43.639
you think I've said shit enough for
one podcast episode? Tune in next time
748
00:54:43.800 --> 00:54:52.519
to the Ship that Happens to Me
Podcasts. You Got a Baby


