Best of SH*T!

WEBVTT

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Hi everyone, Stacy here. I'm
here with the final episode of The Ship

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That Happens to Me Podcast, episode
eighty and this is a best of episode.

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I thought it would be fun if
we shared my favorite stories, at

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least a handful of my favorite stories, because they were all my favorite stories,

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but these were the stories that really
made me laugh the hardest. So

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they go all the way back to
episode four, which was recorded in my

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office. My son Jesse at the
time was my audio engineer, and that

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episode features Melissa Lang who was our
babysitter, who was Jesse's babysitter at the

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time that she was a babysitter,
And they go all the way up to

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as recent as episode sixty four with
Karen Ncapolis. So it's a very fun

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group of stories and I hope you
enjoy them, So stay tune onto the

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episode. Shit happens, bad shit, good shit, crazy shit, and

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it usually happens when we least expect
it. So tune into The Shit that

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Happens to Me Podcast and hear me
and everyone I meet tell they're shitty stories.

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You'll laugh, you'll cry. You
probably won't cry. Why would you

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cry? These are mostly funny stories. You'll learn a few lessons. Probably

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not, It's definitely not that kind
of podcast, but you will have a

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great time. Honestly, you can't
make this shit up. Hi. Everyone,

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welcome to another episode, the final
episode of the Shit That Happens to

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Me Podcast. I have so many
mixed emotions as I get ready to record

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this today with Maggie Bowls. Maggie, thanks for being here with me today.

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I'm glad to be here to hear
these stories. Yes, I know,

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I had promised everyone that Steve would
be here with me today and he

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really wanted too, but he's sick, so we didn't need him sneezing and

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coughing through the whole episode. So
oh well, too bad. It's me

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and Mags and you know it's strong
on women power today. So um,

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I am re sharing stories from my
favorite stories, the stories that made me

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laugh the hardest. Stay tuned as
this shit's about to get real. So

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I have a question, Stacy,
how did you choose which stories to revisit

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in this episode? Well? It
was hard because there were like lots of

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them that I really liked, But
like I said, these were the stories

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that really just made me laugh the
most. Um, they were just silly

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or just stories that I don't know
I really really got into with people.

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And did you go back and listen
to old up episodes or were you pulling

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all from memory? I both,
Um, but I pretty much knew,

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you know, like, um,
some of these stories. I mean,

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I think I envisioned this from the
very beginning. It's been three years,

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by the way, and this is
my eightieth episode, and I kind of

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have known all along, and has
time has gone on like that? These

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these were my favorite stories. So
there were a few more that I wanted

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to but in the interest of time, I narrowed it down to these.

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Do you think that anybody, any
of your past guests are going to be

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um mad that they didn't make the
cut for the best of maybe especially Maybe

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that's why Steve is not here today
because I didn't pull any of his stories.

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Yeah, not that his stories aren't
my favorite stories, because the way

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we met is one of my favorite
stories. But um, maybe because I've

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heard his stories so many times,
I didn't feel the need to repeat them

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on this episode today. Okay,
well, what do you say should we

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get started with the first story?
Are you ready? Let's get started?

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I am ready. So the first
story I want to share is from episode

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four, which is called leopard Print
Pajamas. I'm just going to say one

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other thing that one of the favorite
things about doing this podcast for me was

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naming each episode, you know,
finding just like a line that I thought

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was great. I would take notes
in the episode just when my guest or

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I would say something I thought was
particularly funny. So leopard Print Pajamas is

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actually about the pajamas that my mother
wore to drop me off at school.

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Every day. She would get in
the car in her leopard print pajamas and

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take me to school. Did she
ever have to get out of the car.

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No, she did, but it
was still embarrassing. It was still

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Yeah, I thought everyone knew my
mother was still in her pajamas. But

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the story is not that story.
I'm actually sharing Melissa lang story on what

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happened one day when she got locked
out of her new house. This is

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the babysitter, former babysitter, yes, former babysitter, all grown up.

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She's she's just a grown woman now
with two kids of her own, and

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she tells a great story. Okay, well let's hear it. So my

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husband and I moved into our home
about seven years ago. Wait have you

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have you been married that long?
I have been married seven years in March.

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Wow, I'm still only twenty.
So it's weird. Yeah, it's

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very weird. But because I'm her
older sister and I'm still twenty, yeah,

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very strange or so gosh. I
don't even know how I am old

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I am to even calculate the age
that I was. But I'm mid twenties

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at this time, yea, and
definitely faking being an adult. So we're

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about to get married. We just
moved in. It is maybe we were

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married already, it doesn't matter.
M And we had a little puppy dog

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who was like our little world.
And he's the worst dog ever. Honestly,

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sorry, mom, that's true.
He lives with my mom, A

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story for another day. He likes
to bite child faces anyway, so it's

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true story. We hadn't met any
of our neighbors, and my husband had

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left for the morning he went to
work. I was getting ready. I

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got to leave a little bit later
than him, So I'm in my towel

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blow drying my hair, and all
of a sudden I realized, like,

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man, I haven't heard Toby the
dog in a while, like he wasn't

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barking. He had been outside in
our fenced in backyard, so and you

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would normally hear him and he would
come to bark at the back door to

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let him back in. And it
felt like it had been a long time.

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So I went out and I kind
of like peek out, and I

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don't I kind of call it him, and then I go back inside and

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grab something and then I'm like,
oh my god, like shit, he's

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gone. Yeah, so I and
you're still in your Okay, that's an

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important piece. It is an important
piece. I'm in my towel, hair

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is still wet. Yeah, is
it hang on? Sorry? Is that

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one of those towels that has the
vel? Okay, So it's not like

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they how to chuck it in cots. It was already semi scure. It's

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only like like vulcade on the top. It is so it creates like is

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there like a monogram of your name
or something on there is something? Oh,

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there's lace on the bottom. Right, No, towel and I have

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since parted, all right, I'll
shut up now. So out of habit,

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we have this sliding door. This
is what I'm dealing with, and

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it's in our kitchen sliding door that
has a The lock is like a turn

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yeah, you know, you turn
it whatever. And so the way that

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we do it is when we go
to lock the door is we turn it

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to the lack position and then close
it. Yeah, so, without thinking

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the way that I normally do things, act then think, I turned the

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knob to the lack position, walk
outside to go, now find my dog,

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retreat my dog, and slam the
door shut. Right instantly, I

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hear this sound, and I'm like, fuck, I stand there. I

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don't even know how much time passed
before I finally turned around to attempt to

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open the door that I knew was
very solidly locked, and Mark is gone

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and now has at least eight hours
ahead of it. It's already blistering sun

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heat outside. So anyway, so
I'm standing there, I'm like, okay,

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deep breath, Okay, turn around, shirt up. Door is locked,

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very obvious. Knew that was going
to happen, and I just start

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like making all these like weird nerves, this movements, like what am I

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gonna do? Yeah, okay,
first step, I gotta find Toby.

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Of course, Toby just casually comes
back like, hey, why are you

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outside in your dowel, Like,
yeah, I can totally see you though,

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So I picked up the dog,
and I'm just going through every thought

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in emotion. I mean, these
are double pain windows. I'm not you

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thought maybe you'd break a window like
a rock outside like a grill and there's

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like grilled tools, so I should
have liked you have seen that, you

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know it was close. And then
I'm thinking, like, I'll just wait,

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like what is eight hours without being
able to go to the bathroom or

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eat or like the do that's not
stifling hot. But then obviously I recall

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that I have a job, I
have no phone to let anybody know that

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I'm not like officially late. Yeah, so I'm again I'm walking back and

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forth. I had met one neighbor
once to the right of us. Yeah,

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they were super nice, but again
I bat them once and you had

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clothes on that and I had clothes
on, shoes on, no slippers,

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no nothing, barefoot yeah okay,
no underwear under the just just my felt

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girl twel with the white lace.
So finally I'm like, okay, this

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is just like the only thing I
can do is I need to get the

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nerves to just like walk over there, they'll understand we're human, right everybody.

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It's kind of like an I love
Lucy Up. I feel like I've

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seen this rack. I mean somebody
was laughing when somebody was So finally I

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get the nerve and I just I'm
like, I'm gonna do it. This

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is fine. I've got this.
So I go and I literally am talking

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myself up. I go over there. I ring the doorbell. Nobody that

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their car is in the driveway,
like they are there. Oh, nobody

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answers the door. So like me, I have no idea. Maybe maybe

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they saw and they were like they
were busy. I assumed shower, but

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I was like what I told myself
to myself. They were like, what

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is this woman? So I walked
back to the backyard homeome base and I'm

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like, all right, well you
gotta move on. Next option. Yeah,

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my house on the left of us
were on the corner, so their

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front door is all the way on
a different street. So that's like a

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big that's a bigger track. And
those are the people he had met ye

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had not met them. Okay,
so and you're going over to someone's house

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like to use like like your phone. Yeah, I don't know do something

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to you break into the house.
I mean that would also work if they

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had any kind of skills. I
haven't given anyone your keys yet. No,

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no, literally no nobody's name,
not even the people that I went

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to first. Okay, so you
know, I'm thinking to myself like I

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don't even know, like what's the
best route. So I I kind of

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like start going one way. I'm
in their backyard. I start going one

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way and then I'm like, no, I think this other way is more

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private, So then I go back
the other way, and mind you just

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to like build the full picture.
I'm holding Toby, who is a five

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pound dog, so I'm in almost
like the Wizard of Oz. And yes,

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but I mean a towel with white
lace at the bottom. Yeah,

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wet hair, my shoes, no
shoes, with the dog ring the doorbell

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and this lady and I feel so
bad because I really, to be honest,

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we really have not spoken so many
times in this moment. But she

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opens the door, and in my
mind this is how she sounds. It's

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like, oh, hi, Hi, I'm your neighbor, Melissa. I

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blacked myself out, and I really
could use your phone. Would be great

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if I could borrow your phone.
She's like, oh, okay, so

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she lets me in really nice,
but then she proceeds to tell me,

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you know, it's so funny.
I see how in the backyard. I

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don't know why. She's like literally
from like way up north. She actually

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is, but this is in my
memory. It's horrifying, scarring memory.

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She's like, I see you in
the backyard. And I said to Bob,

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what's this little girl doing running around
naked in her back Yeah? That

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is amazing. Didn't mind you.
I'm like five feet I look like a

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child. So it is like frightening, like why is there a child?

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So I go to make the phone
call, and I realize that think I

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don't know my husband's number. I'm
literally never has no I don't need to

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know exactly all my um and my
husband is the ultimate phone call screener.

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So I'm like, Mom, he's
probably not going to pick up your phone.

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Your phone call, like, just
keep you want your mom to call

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Mark because because she couldn't help you
either, correct. So I'm like,

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please just call Mark, just keep
calling until he picks up. Meanwhile,

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let him know I'll be in the
backyard. How far away does he work?

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He at the time worked. It
wasn't too bad, like fifteen minutes

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maybe, Okay, So finally I
was like, I called my mom back

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after a few minutes of like lingering
with Vicky and Bob, and it was

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very awkward. That's their name.
Yeah, I don't Bob TBD. I

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don't really in my memory his name
is Bob. She's definitely a Vicky.

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So I called my mom back.
She's like, I can't get ahold of

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Mark. I'm really sorry, And
I was like, okay, I'll just

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I'll be in the backyard. It's
important to say too that your backyard is

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like pure son. It is pure
son. There's there are no three ease

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back there. I can't imagine that
was very comfortable. It was not comfortable.

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I mean, for so many reasons
it was not comfortable, but it

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was. Yeah, But I'm also
like just imagining not to be like super

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explicit, but why not. I
mean, like you couldn't even really sit

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down at Vicky and Bob's house because
the underneath and they're they're older, and

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they seemed very reserved, like there
was a lot of like fake flowers and

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baskets and like very wholesome shit.
She was like pulling cookies out of the

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oven. A cookie no I knew
she offered, of course, because she's

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yeah, I don't know, but
I assume that she is. So anyway,

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she loves like own persona for them
now on this story. So Vicky

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comes over like probably five to ten
minutes after I left her house, and

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she was like, are you sure
I can't get you a sweatshirt? Fan?

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I love my god, Vicky's under
the band. So I want to

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take this story to the next level. Its true, always my goal.

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At what point would you borrow somebody's
never? Never? I mean, I

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don't know. Maybe if I didn't
have my talent, yes, then I

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would wear vicky underwear. Ever,
Vicky didn't seem like the underwear borrowing.

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I don't know. I see now
I have no idea who Vicky is,

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but I'm picturing granny panties I would
imagine. Okay, just making sure that

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it matches with the picture you've created
in my head. So finally, and

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00:16:41.120 --> 00:16:45.159
at this point, my mom had
given me Mark's phone number, my husband.

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So Vicky's like, is there anything
you can do? I'm like,

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maybe, can I just use your
phone for one more minute? I would

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00:16:51.440 --> 00:16:52.879
just want to call one more time, see if I can get ahold of

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00:16:52.879 --> 00:16:56.519
my husband. Sure Enough, he
picks up, and I'm like, my

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00:16:56.559 --> 00:17:00.200
cut babe, I'm in the backyard
with her Abraham and my towel. Please

218
00:17:00.279 --> 00:17:06.039
come home immediately like this it's bad. Yeah, it's like, don't mess

219
00:17:06.079 --> 00:17:11.119
around, just come home. So
finally Mark comes home and I am able

220
00:17:11.160 --> 00:17:18.000
to say goodbye to Vicky, thank
goodness, and return home, get inside,

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put some clothes on, and get
to work, just in time to

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00:17:21.720 --> 00:17:26.599
explain to my boss and my colleagues
why I was solid probably one and a

223
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half to two hours late, because
this whole experience took quite some time.

224
00:17:30.079 --> 00:17:36.799
You didn't call them during this time. I could not call it. I

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00:17:33.839 --> 00:17:41.640
didn't nothing, no part of me
thinking like work. I was thinking like

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00:17:41.799 --> 00:17:47.240
I am in stranger Vicky's house while
she's baking cookies with no wonder we're on.

227
00:17:48.880 --> 00:17:51.799
So I get to work to explain
it to them, which of course

228
00:17:51.920 --> 00:17:57.960
becomes like the only joke anybody tells
forever, and everything seems to settle down.

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00:17:59.359 --> 00:18:03.559
Well. Now Vicky is still my
neighbor. Vicky. I see her

230
00:18:03.599 --> 00:18:07.680
probably once or twice a year,
maybe max, because they're just inside bake

231
00:18:07.720 --> 00:18:11.960
and cookies or whatever they're doing.
I don't know the exactly. So at

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00:18:12.000 --> 00:18:17.599
that time I had no kids.
Now my kids are three and five and

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00:18:18.039 --> 00:18:22.200
still without fail, any time I
see Vicky, like, it doesn't matter

234
00:18:22.279 --> 00:18:26.720
how close physically or far we are
from each other, she's like, Hi,

235
00:18:26.279 --> 00:18:33.240
it's nice to see you with clothes. I love that story so much.

236
00:18:33.640 --> 00:18:38.599
It's a great story. I can
picture it for sure. I mean,

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00:18:38.960 --> 00:18:44.799
I actually saw Melissa at the grocery
store a few weeks ago and stopped

238
00:18:44.880 --> 00:18:48.400
to say to her, and we
stood in the middle of the I don't

239
00:18:48.400 --> 00:18:55.400
know, canned goods aisle for twenty
minutes and talked and this is just how

240
00:18:55.440 --> 00:18:59.000
she talks all the time anyway,
And I told her I was doing this

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episode and sharing her Tuel story,
and so um, we had a good

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00:19:04.599 --> 00:19:07.400
laugh about that. That's good.
You didn't say when you saw are nice

243
00:19:07.400 --> 00:19:11.559
to see you with clothes on?
No, that would have been great.

244
00:19:11.400 --> 00:19:15.920
I didn't think of that. I
just say yes, yes, can you

245
00:19:15.960 --> 00:19:22.559
imagine though, like I can't imagine. I think that that's a really great

246
00:19:22.640 --> 00:19:27.799
icebreaker for moving into a new neighborhood, you know what I mean. It's

247
00:19:27.839 --> 00:19:33.480
also a very good lesson in learning
your significant other's phone number. You know

248
00:19:33.519 --> 00:19:40.519
what I mean? Yeah, well, and it's literally why I always have

249
00:19:40.680 --> 00:19:45.359
my phone on me, always,
always, always, I walked downstairs,

250
00:19:45.359 --> 00:19:49.000
I have my phone on me in
case I fall down the stairs, and

251
00:19:49.039 --> 00:19:53.240
then I can call someone that I
have fallen down the stairs and can't get

252
00:19:53.319 --> 00:19:56.839
up. You know. So,
But would you be would you have your

253
00:19:56.920 --> 00:20:02.119
phone on you while you're in your
towel getting out of the shower, you

254
00:20:02.160 --> 00:20:07.119
know, I mean I would?
I would really well if I was if

255
00:20:07.160 --> 00:20:10.240
I made the decision to go outside
to look for the dog, I might

256
00:20:10.279 --> 00:20:15.000
talk the phone in the velcrow thing, you know. I mean that was

257
00:20:15.039 --> 00:20:19.960
the only place she could have put
it, right under my armpit maybe,

258
00:20:22.960 --> 00:20:26.240
I mean, especially now after hearing
that everybody should always have their phone on

259
00:20:26.279 --> 00:20:30.039
them at all times. Yeah,
I guess that's one thing to take away

260
00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:36.200
from from this experience. Could also
be, you know, memorized your memorize

261
00:20:36.240 --> 00:20:41.400
the phone number of your you know, house partner, husband, wife,

262
00:20:41.519 --> 00:20:45.920
significant other emergency contact. Also,
give your neighbor a key. Yeah,

263
00:20:47.160 --> 00:20:51.720
give a neighbor I have. We
have our neighbor's spare key and she has

264
00:20:51.759 --> 00:20:55.319
ours. It's pretty handy. We
also have actually a lockbox in front of

265
00:20:55.319 --> 00:20:57.440
our front door with a spare key, because Ryan and I lock ourselves out

266
00:20:57.440 --> 00:21:02.119
of the house so frequently of that
also, But no, I don't think

267
00:21:02.160 --> 00:21:06.079
I've ever has what ever happened to
me before that I've locked myself out of

268
00:21:06.079 --> 00:21:11.839
the house or locked out like it, locked yourself out of the house in

269
00:21:12.400 --> 00:21:17.599
not in like a not in a
fully clothed state, you know, like

270
00:21:17.920 --> 00:21:22.960
maybe you're in your pj's instead of
your towel, or maybe you're I don't

271
00:21:22.960 --> 00:21:27.119
know, shoeless. Well, I
once had a go chasing after Lucy,

272
00:21:29.039 --> 00:21:33.000
who we used to take out in
the backyard, and you know, I

273
00:21:33.039 --> 00:21:36.519
mean my dogs. I've always had
on a leash when we've gone out,

274
00:21:36.599 --> 00:21:38.960
but for whatever reason, I must
have let go of the leash or something,

275
00:21:40.039 --> 00:21:42.319
and there was snow on the ground, and I was in my pajamas

276
00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:48.440
and my snow boots and my coats, and she like took off and I

277
00:21:48.480 --> 00:21:52.680
start running through we live like not
far from a golf course. I'm practically

278
00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:56.839
running through the golf course like like
this, so, you know, in

279
00:21:56.920 --> 00:22:00.279
my pajamas and coat and snow boots, and I couldn't catch her. So

280
00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:06.720
she came back eventually. Dogs usually
come back eventually, you know. But

281
00:22:07.559 --> 00:22:10.000
that's as close as I got.
Yeah, so you had to chase her,

282
00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:12.279
but you didn't get locked out.
No, no, no, that's

283
00:22:12.319 --> 00:22:17.359
good. Let's move to the next
story. So the next story is from

284
00:22:17.440 --> 00:22:25.039
episode fourteen Neurotic AF, and this
is with my friend Martin Moore, who

285
00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:30.799
I had not met before that moment. So I met Martin through some mutual

286
00:22:30.640 --> 00:22:37.319
acquaintances from Edge Media. I was
doing my podcast with them at the moment,

287
00:22:37.559 --> 00:22:42.519
and he and I like hit it
off immediately, and I asked him

288
00:22:42.559 --> 00:22:48.599
to be on my podcast and we
started. We came up with the idea

289
00:22:48.839 --> 00:22:52.720
of talk. We were just talking
about like how neurotic each of us was

290
00:22:52.920 --> 00:22:59.920
telling our neurotic stories, and then
he told the story that beat all neurotic

291
00:23:00.119 --> 00:23:06.799
stories. So this is Martin Moore
in um Neurotic AF. Can we talk

292
00:23:06.839 --> 00:23:11.680
about dollar bills? Yeah, here's
another obsessive thing. Yeah. So the

293
00:23:11.720 --> 00:23:18.200
only denomination that I carry are two
dollar bills, and I'm gonna I'm gonna

294
00:23:18.279 --> 00:23:22.279
let me. I'm gonna pontificate for
a second rope. Okay, two dollar

295
00:23:22.319 --> 00:23:25.680
bills. There's gonna be a whole
point of this to me, are like

296
00:23:25.720 --> 00:23:30.720
the perfect currency because especially when you
travel with like a partner. So like

297
00:23:30.839 --> 00:23:33.960
let's say you get uber or a
cab or something like that, and you

298
00:23:33.960 --> 00:23:36.319
have two bags, you tip with
a two dollar bill. Let's say you

299
00:23:36.359 --> 00:23:37.519
go to a bar and you get
two drinks, you tip with a two

300
00:23:37.559 --> 00:23:41.640
dollar bill. Let's say you go
to a really fancy bar where you're getting

301
00:23:41.680 --> 00:23:44.839
ten, twelve, fifteen dollars drinks, and you know, you have a

302
00:23:44.839 --> 00:23:48.359
thirty dollars bar to have for two
drinks, where you would normally probably tip

303
00:23:48.400 --> 00:23:51.759
three or four dollars to the bartender, you can save money by slipping a

304
00:23:51.799 --> 00:23:56.119
two dollar bill because it looks really
cool and they're they're really surprised. It's

305
00:23:56.119 --> 00:23:59.480
just a less currency to carry.
It's also the most beautiful bill because it

306
00:23:59.519 --> 00:24:03.720
has the original independence on the back. But it's the only denomination that I

307
00:24:03.799 --> 00:24:06.319
carry. I spend them like crazy. I get like five hundred of them

308
00:24:06.359 --> 00:24:08.039
every couple months, and like I
didn't even know they still printed two dollars.

309
00:24:08.279 --> 00:24:14.799
Yeah, and so one of the
things that I'm obsessed with is how

310
00:24:14.839 --> 00:24:17.599
crisp my two dollar bills are.
So when I get them from the bank,

311
00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:19.279
I'll get like hunt. Sometimes I'll
get whatever they have. If they

312
00:24:19.319 --> 00:24:22.240
have fifty of them, I'll take
that. If they have five hundred dollars,

313
00:24:22.279 --> 00:24:23.640
I'll take that. And when I
get them, I go through them.

314
00:24:23.640 --> 00:24:26.720
And usually the ones that were printed
in like nineteen seventy six are like

315
00:24:26.759 --> 00:24:30.799
the real super crisp ones. There's
ones from like the fifties and the forties

316
00:24:30.839 --> 00:24:34.880
because they only print them like certain
years that are like pretty haggard. And

317
00:24:34.920 --> 00:24:40.920
I wash them in don soap and
then I iron them and I washed them

318
00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:42.680
again and then I air dry them, and then they have to be fold

319
00:24:42.799 --> 00:24:48.279
They have to be folded in thirds. You have to be folded so that

320
00:24:48.640 --> 00:24:52.279
um, I have like emergency ones
that like have to be have to have

321
00:24:52.319 --> 00:24:56.240
a certain amount of emergency ones.
And so I wash money because it has

322
00:24:56.279 --> 00:25:03.319
to be crisp. You have won
the do dare you let My sister in

323
00:25:03.359 --> 00:25:06.680
law when she found that out,
she said, I wish I had that

324
00:25:06.759 --> 00:25:10.720
kind of time wash my money.
Well, I have to say, though,

325
00:25:10.839 --> 00:25:12.839
this is the thing about I'm going
to still call it people like us.

326
00:25:14.720 --> 00:25:17.039
We don't have that kind of time. No, I don't know,

327
00:25:17.160 --> 00:25:22.599
but this podcast for the things like
that that we have to do. I

328
00:25:22.640 --> 00:25:26.519
just so. But again, when
they're crisp, after they've been sitting for

329
00:25:26.559 --> 00:25:29.839
a couple hours on the towel and
I grab it and you hear that,

330
00:25:29.880 --> 00:25:32.000
you know what, it's crisp dollar
bills. I was like, boys,

331
00:25:32.039 --> 00:25:34.759
it satisfating. I think it's fascinating
though, that you're not watching them because

332
00:25:34.759 --> 00:25:40.119
they're dirty. You're watching them if
there's coronavirus or cocaine or whatever's on it.

333
00:25:40.359 --> 00:25:42.599
I want them to be crisp.
Yeah, because who wants to nobody?

334
00:25:42.640 --> 00:25:45.039
Everybody wants to get a nice chris
Oh, crisp two dollars bill.

335
00:25:45.200 --> 00:25:51.559
Yeah, it's part of the experience. You've won the prize. Wow,

336
00:25:52.680 --> 00:25:57.279
yes, so I do. I
want to give a little background that I

337
00:25:57.319 --> 00:26:02.880
should have done at the beginning.
But so Martin Moore U is a photographer

338
00:26:03.000 --> 00:26:07.759
and he worked for Costs Headphones,
which is a big UM company in Milwaukee.

339
00:26:07.799 --> 00:26:11.920
It's a local company and Martin um
and Costs sponsored the ship that happens

340
00:26:11.960 --> 00:26:21.440
to me throughout throughout my UM tenure. Um, I'm wearing Costs Headphones right

341
00:26:21.480 --> 00:26:25.720
now. So you know, he's
really um, really been you know,

342
00:26:25.799 --> 00:26:26.960
Like like I said, it was
a new friend. I'd never met him

343
00:26:27.000 --> 00:26:33.039
before, and he's been like a
very big support um this whole time.

344
00:26:33.079 --> 00:26:37.880
He was on my podcast a couple
two three times, and he jokes about

345
00:26:37.880 --> 00:26:41.680
how he has OCD, although I
think that he might actually have OCD.

346
00:26:42.319 --> 00:26:47.680
Um. Yeah, and I think
it's like yes, and this thing though,

347
00:26:48.319 --> 00:26:51.559
and and you know, it was
the we were laughing and joking about

348
00:26:51.599 --> 00:26:56.359
all of our idiosyncrasies. But yeah, like um washing. Now I had

349
00:26:56.400 --> 00:26:59.880
remembered. I thought he said that
he ironed them, but he didn't say

350
00:27:00.119 --> 00:27:03.680
ironed them. But he did.
Oh, he did say he irons them.

351
00:27:03.759 --> 00:27:08.839
Okay, yes, washes and a
couple of times and air drives and

352
00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:18.160
irons and then folds them a certain
way into thirds. Yeah, into thirds.

353
00:27:17.599 --> 00:27:23.319
That is particular thing I've ever heard. Yes, Yeah, I mean

354
00:27:23.359 --> 00:27:27.759
I had just said in the moments
prior that I like on my dollar my

355
00:27:27.839 --> 00:27:33.160
bills to face the same direction.
And that was when he said, can

356
00:27:33.160 --> 00:27:36.960
we talk about dollar bills? And
I had no idea what was coming from

357
00:27:37.000 --> 00:27:41.400
there. Yeah, I get that
them the dollar bills facing the same way.

358
00:27:41.799 --> 00:27:45.880
I agree. I also like to
organize them by from high to low

359
00:27:47.480 --> 00:27:48.599
with or actually I guess from low
to high. Like to have the low

360
00:27:48.640 --> 00:27:53.799
on the outside feel safer that way. Okay, well I organize them that

361
00:27:53.799 --> 00:27:59.240
way so I can find them easily, you know, like fives tens,

362
00:27:59.319 --> 00:28:03.119
you know, nies. Yeah,
there's always some utility to it. Yeah.

363
00:28:03.200 --> 00:28:07.880
Yeah, Like I organized my closet, all of the clothes are facing

364
00:28:07.920 --> 00:28:11.400
the same direction. Definitely. What
about my color? I like to do

365
00:28:11.440 --> 00:28:15.880
my closet by color too, Yeah, I do that. Yeah. I

366
00:28:15.880 --> 00:28:22.759
mean in this episode, I talked
about my my tupperware cabinet and how all

367
00:28:22.799 --> 00:28:26.759
of my tupperware has to go in
a certain place, you know, like

368
00:28:27.759 --> 00:28:32.599
they're they're put away in a certain
place. And the square tops go with

369
00:28:32.680 --> 00:28:36.519
the square tops, and the rectangular
tops go with the rectangular tops circle tops,

370
00:28:36.720 --> 00:28:41.119
but the circle tops. And my
son Zach had commented that God forbid

371
00:28:41.319 --> 00:28:45.079
someone put something in the wrong place, and I flip out, which is

372
00:28:45.079 --> 00:28:49.640
true, It's true. I mean
you can just see that these are all

373
00:28:49.680 --> 00:28:53.400
square and why would you put a
circle top there? Right? Yeah,

374
00:28:53.480 --> 00:28:57.880
I mean I wish we had a
good organization technique for our tupperware because it's

375
00:28:57.880 --> 00:29:03.279
always just to feel it's it's a
it's a cliche at this point, Um,

376
00:29:03.559 --> 00:29:07.160
the mess that drawer is. You
know, well, I have nice

377
00:29:07.279 --> 00:29:11.279
organizers. I can send you a
picture of that after we're done with this

378
00:29:11.319 --> 00:29:17.279
recording that I've really helped my Tupperware
game. But yeah, but he won

379
00:29:17.319 --> 00:29:22.400
the prize with um his two dollar
bills. Yeah, I can't think of

380
00:29:22.440 --> 00:29:26.920
anybody who could beat that story.
That is. That's as neurotic and particular

381
00:29:27.039 --> 00:29:30.799
as it gets. And I'm pretty
I can tell you're pretty particular. I'm

382
00:29:30.839 --> 00:29:36.279
also pretty particular. My father is
very particular. Who have you met?

383
00:29:37.000 --> 00:29:41.920
Yeah, Eric, huh, Yeah, that's that's the chart. Ryan's not,

384
00:29:42.359 --> 00:29:45.079
so it's interesting. Steve is very
particular, but he and I are

385
00:29:45.119 --> 00:29:52.160
particular about different things. Like he
will put a square top with the rectangular

386
00:29:52.240 --> 00:29:56.200
tops and that drives me crazy.
Like he's a freaking science I know,

387
00:29:56.519 --> 00:30:00.839
he's a scientist, so he has
to be particular. But he's just particular

388
00:30:00.880 --> 00:30:04.440
about the things that matter to him. And he maybe would say that about

389
00:30:04.440 --> 00:30:08.720
me that I'm not particular about the
things that he's particular about. But you

390
00:30:08.759 --> 00:30:12.519
know, we make a good pair. He's particular about money, thank goodness,

391
00:30:14.240 --> 00:30:21.880
right, otherwise I wouldn't have any. But it's good, so complimentary

392
00:30:21.920 --> 00:30:26.480
particularities. Yes, yes, it's
nice for sure. So what's the next

393
00:30:26.519 --> 00:30:33.480
story we've got? The next story
is from my friend Nina, and Nina

394
00:30:33.920 --> 00:30:41.440
is well, the name of her
episode is notoriously uncoordinated and klutzy. And

395
00:30:41.519 --> 00:30:47.039
so she was listening to one of
my episodes about all the ways in which

396
00:30:47.119 --> 00:30:49.480
I, you know, fall down. I fell again over the weekend.

397
00:30:49.599 --> 00:30:57.160
I'm just constantly falling, and so
my episode about all of the injuries,

398
00:30:57.759 --> 00:31:00.960
and she was like, oh,
boy, way, I have some stories

399
00:31:00.960 --> 00:31:06.839
to tell about that. And um, Nina is she's a very smart young

400
00:31:06.920 --> 00:31:14.440
lady. She's a psychiatric nurse practitioner
with certified in both pediatrics and psychiatry.

401
00:31:14.519 --> 00:31:18.200
I mean, this is a very
smart young lady. And she sometimes comes

402
00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:22.319
across a little giggly you know um, which is fine. It's it's just

403
00:31:22.359 --> 00:31:30.519
a lovely quality about her. So
she um tells a story about um,

404
00:31:30.440 --> 00:31:37.680
let's see a sticky situation with an
art project she was in charge of when

405
00:31:37.680 --> 00:31:41.200
she was in high school. Okay, let's hear him. So my best

406
00:31:41.240 --> 00:31:48.799
story is a super close to her. So when I was in high school,

407
00:31:49.559 --> 00:31:53.920
I got work release and I went
so I couldn't like my senior year,

408
00:31:55.000 --> 00:31:56.720
maybe could like work for part of
the day. And I went to

409
00:31:56.880 --> 00:32:02.079
m ATC in Madison and got my
like, I don't know whatever certificate to

410
00:32:02.119 --> 00:32:07.799
teach preschool. And so it was
like, got this job at a really

411
00:32:07.920 --> 00:32:12.920
nice preschool, my first like what
felt like a more real job, like

412
00:32:13.519 --> 00:32:17.799
you know, um where I was
like a preschool teacher and I had it

413
00:32:17.880 --> 00:32:22.279
was responsible for these little people,
and I was really excited. And it

414
00:32:22.319 --> 00:32:27.559
was my first week there where I
was like the assistant teacher for this class

415
00:32:28.680 --> 00:32:34.400
of one and a half year old, feeling really like, you know,

416
00:32:34.799 --> 00:32:39.559
educated from my course that I'm shafing. I'm getting to leave school to go

417
00:32:39.599 --> 00:32:44.759
to work like you know, in
high school. That's amazing, but yeah,

418
00:32:44.799 --> 00:32:47.519
it was like a high school.
Yeah yeah. So I was like

419
00:32:47.599 --> 00:32:51.799
feeling proud, you know, and
I wanted to do a really good job.

420
00:32:51.839 --> 00:32:54.400
And I've always been a really hard
worker, so um, not a

421
00:32:54.440 --> 00:32:59.279
slack or at work. So anyway, so first week there, kids are

422
00:32:59.400 --> 00:33:06.599
napping and I went to fix one
of the art projects we made, had

423
00:33:06.599 --> 00:33:09.200
the little google eyes. One of
the eyes fell off of some kids aunt

424
00:33:09.319 --> 00:33:14.440
or whatever it was. Um,
so I wanted to just glue you know,

425
00:33:14.839 --> 00:33:22.480
eye back on, went in our
little art closet and found super glue,

426
00:33:22.519 --> 00:33:27.440
which you know works faster than the
other kind. So go to super

427
00:33:27.440 --> 00:33:30.480
glue this eye on and it doesn't
come out, but it's clearly there's like

428
00:33:30.519 --> 00:33:37.920
super glue in there. So,
not really thinking about the consequences of my

429
00:33:37.039 --> 00:33:42.319
next move, turn the super glue
thing over, look at it. Realized

430
00:33:42.359 --> 00:33:45.079
there's like a crusty like dried up
thing on the top of the tube.

431
00:33:45.559 --> 00:33:52.160
Pluck it off, and the super
glue shoots out into my eyes. Then

432
00:33:53.079 --> 00:33:59.759
it's like just reflex, right,
I grabbed my eye. So now I've

433
00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:04.359
super glued my hand to my eye, which is now super glued shut.

434
00:34:04.559 --> 00:34:08.599
And I'm sitting in the closet like
with my hand super glued to my eye

435
00:34:08.599 --> 00:34:12.800
and my eye super glued shut,
and I don't want to come out because

436
00:34:12.800 --> 00:34:15.760
I don't want them to see what
like ridiculous thing I have done to myself.

437
00:34:15.800 --> 00:34:20.960
So I'm like trying to like figure
out like how I'm gonna like handle

438
00:34:21.000 --> 00:34:23.039
this, Like the kids are out
there napping, like I can't stand there

439
00:34:23.480 --> 00:34:30.440
like, so I ripped my hand
off. My eye was awful, and

440
00:34:30.519 --> 00:34:37.599
then like try to like pry my
eye open, which is extruciatingly painful.

441
00:34:38.239 --> 00:34:43.400
I won't stop watering, like I
feel like there's daggers in it. I

442
00:34:43.639 --> 00:34:47.440
like I have no choice but to
go tell the director what has happened,

443
00:34:47.480 --> 00:34:52.440
because I clearly need to go like
to the yard, so I can't drive,

444
00:34:52.880 --> 00:34:57.559
so my mom has to come get
me, which is like more defying

445
00:34:57.679 --> 00:35:00.760
to me, like on top of
winging beyond the fact that I superglued my

446
00:35:00.800 --> 00:35:05.800
hand to my eye and my eye
shut, um, so that my mom

447
00:35:05.880 --> 00:35:08.199
has to come get me, and
i'd like over the r and I was

448
00:35:08.239 --> 00:35:12.840
just so that happened, So what
had And so the whole time though,

449
00:35:12.920 --> 00:35:16.159
like my eye is like on fire, So what had actually happened? Because

450
00:35:16.159 --> 00:35:22.239
super glue dries so fast when my
eye had dried, so I had like

451
00:35:22.400 --> 00:35:27.719
dried super glue on my eye that
every time I blinked was cutting the inside

452
00:35:27.719 --> 00:35:32.280
of my eyelid. So they had
to like put this stuff on to like

453
00:35:32.440 --> 00:35:37.000
numb my eye and like get the
blue off. It was a whole like

454
00:35:37.800 --> 00:35:43.599
for a deal. But so,
so that happened, and we're not done

455
00:35:43.639 --> 00:35:46.960
talking with about that one. So
so the episode was shit. My dog

456
00:35:47.119 --> 00:35:54.760
ate and I think my friend Gwen
said that her dog ate a thing of

457
00:35:54.840 --> 00:36:00.440
super glue and glue the mouth.
Yeah that's what it was, yes,

458
00:36:00.760 --> 00:36:07.840
which is horrible, right, but
this this might be more horrible or equally

459
00:36:07.039 --> 00:36:12.480
is horrible, um, because I
can't even imagine. It seems like how

460
00:36:12.519 --> 00:36:15.280
does one recover from super glowing their
eyes shut? I don't know. I

461
00:36:15.280 --> 00:36:19.639
didn't have eyelashes for a while though. When I ripped my hand off,

462
00:36:20.119 --> 00:36:23.639
I ripped off like my eyelashes.
That was the thing too. It's a

463
00:36:23.719 --> 00:36:29.320
good it's maybe a good thing you
didn't like. So your eyeball didn't have

464
00:36:29.440 --> 00:36:34.280
any damage from this. No,
they gave me like I had to use

465
00:36:34.360 --> 00:36:37.760
like some kind of drops or something
for the next like two weeks. Um,

466
00:36:38.280 --> 00:36:42.079
And my vision was weird for a
while. My eye hurt, it

467
00:36:42.239 --> 00:36:47.000
hurt, um. But no,
um, like I think because maybe really

468
00:36:47.039 --> 00:36:52.360
the damage was like the inside of
my eyelid. Yeah right, um,

469
00:36:52.000 --> 00:36:55.800
I'm like scratching. But yeah,
it was awful. It was. It

470
00:36:55.920 --> 00:37:00.880
was trying to imagine you coming out
of the closet. You had already ripped

471
00:37:00.880 --> 00:37:05.280
your hand. I ripped my hand
off at that point, un pride my

472
00:37:05.360 --> 00:37:10.440
eye open, Oh, Nina,
that's yeah, So like I'm like new

473
00:37:10.719 --> 00:37:16.440
so you know that forever in their
brains, as as the girl who super

474
00:37:16.519 --> 00:37:22.159
blue her hand her eye. Yeah, and now lots of people will know

475
00:37:22.239 --> 00:37:30.880
this story. Ouch. Yes,
adventures was super clue, super glue.

476
00:37:30.920 --> 00:37:35.840
I mean, don't mess around with
it. It's serious stuff. I mean

477
00:37:35.880 --> 00:37:38.679
we've all done that. We've all
taken that little crusty piece off of the

478
00:37:39.000 --> 00:37:45.320
end. I mean, maybe many
of my listeners have clued their eyeball or

479
00:37:45.360 --> 00:37:47.679
their hand or their eyeball or something
like that, right, Like, why

480
00:37:47.679 --> 00:37:53.320
wouldn't that happen? I can't imagine
have that many people experiencing the eyeball gluing

481
00:37:53.440 --> 00:37:57.920
and the hand to the eyeball.
That feels pretty special. But I think

482
00:37:57.960 --> 00:38:01.239
probably a lot of us have had
experienced with super glue and trying to open

483
00:38:01.320 --> 00:38:05.960
up the crusty bit and then gluing
your hand to something or or you're pulling

484
00:38:06.000 --> 00:38:08.719
your fingers together. That's happened.
And yeah, as soon as you go

485
00:38:08.760 --> 00:38:12.920
to pull it apart, it does
take some of your skin off. It's

486
00:38:13.760 --> 00:38:17.760
really nasty stuff. Ouch. Yeah, yeah that sounds that's I'm really surprised

487
00:38:17.800 --> 00:38:22.480
she didn't have lasting damage on her
eyeball from that you know, like I

488
00:38:22.519 --> 00:38:23.760
would think that, you know,
and she's like, and that's how I

489
00:38:23.760 --> 00:38:30.480
went blind in my left eye.
But but no lucky, Yeah, she

490
00:38:30.639 --> 00:38:37.960
just she just injured her eyelid,
so but not not her eyeball. Yeah,

491
00:38:37.000 --> 00:38:42.119
she's very very lucky, very lucky. I also love that she had

492
00:38:42.119 --> 00:38:45.880
to call her mom to pick her
up because she wasn't driving at the time.

493
00:38:45.800 --> 00:38:50.360
Well, and you know, it's
the story starts with how like good

494
00:38:50.360 --> 00:38:53.239
she's feeling about herself and grown up
and independent, you know, and then

495
00:38:53.239 --> 00:38:57.920
she's kind of calling her her mommy
basically to come pick her up with I

496
00:38:58.039 --> 00:39:05.079
was mortifying. Yeah, and maybe
her mom was in leopard print pajamas maybe

497
00:39:05.079 --> 00:39:09.800
not, but her mom could go
pick her up. Yeah. Also,

498
00:39:09.920 --> 00:39:14.159
I didn't know you could get a
job at a preschool, uh still in

499
00:39:14.239 --> 00:39:19.000
high school. That's that's really impressive. I think we remember some people who

500
00:39:19.119 --> 00:39:22.000
had some kind of work release thing. And she does love kids, as

501
00:39:22.000 --> 00:39:29.519
I said that she has she's certified
in pediatrics as well as psychiatry, so

502
00:39:29.519 --> 00:39:32.960
so she does love kids. And
she's a wonderful mother to her son Kyle.

503
00:39:34.440 --> 00:39:37.440
And just like with um, you
know, Melissa's story to kind of

504
00:39:37.440 --> 00:39:42.840
get labeled at that point as the
you know, the person who locked themselves

505
00:39:42.840 --> 00:39:46.719
out of the house or you know
person who glued their hand to their eyeball.

506
00:39:47.239 --> 00:39:51.719
Yeah, and both of those stories
are similar, and they both said

507
00:39:51.760 --> 00:39:57.599
something like how they act without thinking
first. Yeah, yeah, so yeah,

508
00:39:57.599 --> 00:40:00.400
I mean I think that's a that's
a classic part of like any kind

509
00:40:00.400 --> 00:40:07.280
of ship that happens to you is
not really considering the consequences, right right,

510
00:40:07.519 --> 00:40:13.440
right, Yes, that's how you
get the good stuff. Yeah right,

511
00:40:13.800 --> 00:40:19.039
Although not in the next story.
The next story told by my friend

512
00:40:19.159 --> 00:40:24.199
Jamie Miller, who was riding a
bus to a hotel in Puerto Rico.

513
00:40:24.440 --> 00:40:28.039
There was there was not much.
I don't think he could have done to

514
00:40:28.079 --> 00:40:34.039
avoid this story. Okay, let's
hear it. Okay. I seem to

515
00:40:34.079 --> 00:40:39.760
attract funny things that happened when when
I travel, and this one was this

516
00:40:39.800 --> 00:40:44.400
one was classic. So this is
for my fortieth birthday, so that I'll

517
00:40:44.440 --> 00:40:46.960
say about fifteen years ago, but
it was really about eighteen years ago.

518
00:40:47.400 --> 00:40:52.360
Yeh. Felicia and I decided that
we were going to take a trip to

519
00:40:52.440 --> 00:40:57.920
Puerto Rico and we were going to
go stay at the l Conquistador hotel.

520
00:40:58.079 --> 00:41:01.079
Have you ever heard of the l
Conquistador I don't think so, No,

521
00:41:01.400 --> 00:41:07.320
tell me about it. Well,
the Elkonquistadore Hotel was a five star hotel

522
00:41:07.880 --> 00:41:13.079
that our parents probably traveled to in
nineteen sixty four, and I think they

523
00:41:13.159 --> 00:41:16.559
still had I think they still had
pictures of the hotel on the website from

524
00:41:16.639 --> 00:41:22.920
nineteen sixty four, because the place
looked absolutely glorious, and you know,

525
00:41:22.960 --> 00:41:25.320
we were we were sucked in and
really excited to go there. So we

526
00:41:25.440 --> 00:41:32.440
fly down to Puerto Rico and they
arranged for transportation to the Alconquistador from the

527
00:41:32.440 --> 00:41:37.159
airport. And so keep in mind, the San Juan airport is about twenty

528
00:41:37.239 --> 00:41:42.639
miles to the alcon Qui store.
So I'm anticipating like it's going to be

529
00:41:42.679 --> 00:41:46.039
a limousine or just a really nice
van and they're going to greet us with

530
00:41:46.679 --> 00:41:52.119
you know, champagne or my ties
or something like. Yeah, it's not

531
00:41:52.159 --> 00:41:53.559
like that at all. In fact, we get out of the bus,

532
00:41:53.639 --> 00:41:57.679
we have to grab our bags,
which is fine. Oh yeah. You

533
00:41:57.719 --> 00:42:00.199
also picture the person you know with
the name Miller, you know, like

534
00:42:00.239 --> 00:42:05.639
on an ipadter on piece of paper. We yeah, well that that didn't

535
00:42:05.679 --> 00:42:09.719
happen. Either and we had we
had to go go search out the El

536
00:42:09.840 --> 00:42:16.239
Conquistador bus and the Elkin. We
found the alcon Quistador bus, you know,

537
00:42:16.599 --> 00:42:22.480
hidden somewhere, you know, not
near the Ritz Carlton Bust or the

538
00:42:22.559 --> 00:42:25.679
Weston bus, but you know,
buried somewhere deep in the dark shadows of

539
00:42:25.800 --> 00:42:30.519
the San Juan Puerto Rico Airport.
And it was a It was a coach

540
00:42:30.599 --> 00:42:35.960
bus, but again a coach bus
from a long time ago. Comfliction I

541
00:42:36.239 --> 00:42:38.079
comfliction. I had a hard time
finding the bus. So we were running

542
00:42:38.079 --> 00:42:43.719
a little bit late, and we
hop on the bus and um, we

543
00:42:43.880 --> 00:42:45.719
go to the back and this was
a bus. You've seen a coach bus.

544
00:42:45.800 --> 00:42:51.159
They have bathrooms on them sometimes,
so this coach bus had a bathroom.

545
00:42:52.079 --> 00:42:54.840
And but it's an older bus,
so it didn't have the typical hard

546
00:42:55.159 --> 00:42:59.920
door. It had like an accordion
door, you know, those type of

547
00:43:00.119 --> 00:43:06.920
sliding doors that if you've ever come
across the fact, Yeah, exactly exactly

548
00:43:07.159 --> 00:43:10.039
to the bathroom. A fabric door
to the bathroom. It was a heavier

549
00:43:10.199 --> 00:43:17.719
duty kind of accordion plastic whatever door
that was open. When we sat down

550
00:43:17.840 --> 00:43:22.840
and the only seats that were available
was for flesh and I to sit right

551
00:43:22.960 --> 00:43:25.960
next to the right next to the
bathroom. Flee Sha off course, took

552
00:43:27.000 --> 00:43:30.800
the window and I took the aisle
seat right next to the bathroom. And

553
00:43:30.400 --> 00:43:34.199
the ride, for some reason,
there was a lot of traffic, so

554
00:43:34.320 --> 00:43:39.360
the bus driver decided to take side
roads, and it was it was bumpy.

555
00:43:39.440 --> 00:43:43.880
I mean there was there was so
much turbulence on this bus and we're

556
00:43:44.039 --> 00:43:50.199
hitting every stone and rock and we're
flying all over the place and fleeh and

557
00:43:50.239 --> 00:43:53.840
I are just like praying that someone
doesn't have to use the bathroom. And

558
00:43:54.559 --> 00:43:59.599
unfortunately it turned out to be like
an hour trip. And of course some

559
00:44:00.079 --> 00:44:06.960
for some lady comes stands up and
I look at she's coming to the bathroom.

560
00:44:08.760 --> 00:44:14.719
She heads to the bathroom, and
she walks in the bathroom and she

561
00:44:15.800 --> 00:44:21.440
goes in and she's closing the accordion
door and trying to close it and trying

562
00:44:21.519 --> 00:44:25.320
to lock it and just can't do
it. And so I'm even starting from

563
00:44:25.400 --> 00:44:32.159
the outside of the accordion door trying
to shut it for her. So finally

564
00:44:32.280 --> 00:44:37.960
she gets it to lock, and
we're driving down, you know, driving

565
00:44:37.119 --> 00:44:43.320
bumping along, and all of a
sudden we hit this huge bump, the

566
00:44:43.480 --> 00:44:47.400
bus literally goes up in the air, and at that same time, the

567
00:44:47.679 --> 00:44:59.679
accordion door opened and this woman falls
out of the bathroom with her onto my

568
00:44:59.800 --> 00:45:04.920
la. Yeah yeah, she falls
onto my lap and I like, okay,

569
00:45:05.079 --> 00:45:10.800
and I she is She screamed,
and I lifted her up and I

570
00:45:12.000 --> 00:45:21.599
literally placed her back on the toilet
and then proceeded to shut the door and

571
00:45:21.880 --> 00:45:27.639
hold the door shut until she finished
her until she finished her business. Okay,

572
00:45:27.679 --> 00:45:31.679
wait, we have to go back
now. So did the door fly

573
00:45:32.000 --> 00:45:37.360
open and she came out or did
the momentum of her like I need to

574
00:45:37.400 --> 00:45:42.679
know every detail of her jump,
of her like flying up push the door

575
00:45:42.800 --> 00:45:46.920
open. I think her body pushed
the door open as she was coming out.

576
00:45:49.679 --> 00:45:54.119
I wish we had it on videotape, But all I remember is her

577
00:45:54.480 --> 00:46:04.119
landing on my lap with no pants
on. And did she land like head

578
00:46:04.239 --> 00:46:08.760
first or yeah, it was head
first, partially headed towards flee and so

579
00:46:08.880 --> 00:46:14.079
Felicia, you know, kind of
helped me push her up and get her

580
00:46:14.159 --> 00:46:19.679
into the bathroom. Now it's like
right out of like did you see that

581
00:46:19.880 --> 00:46:23.880
movie? Um? Shit, what's
that movie where I just everything goes wrong

582
00:46:23.960 --> 00:46:30.880
to these people? It'll come to
me. But um, Wellstas and all

583
00:46:30.960 --> 00:46:35.800
inclusive, so understand that all of
us on the bus are going to the

584
00:46:35.840 --> 00:46:40.199
El Punquistador. That poor woman.
Yeah, so if you've ever been like

585
00:46:40.360 --> 00:46:45.840
to an All inclusive or a cruise
or something. We saw her for four

586
00:46:46.039 --> 00:46:53.119
days, everywhere she was. She
was just so embarrassed, just so embarrassed,

587
00:46:53.239 --> 00:46:58.519
and we never really talked about it. And I remember when she fell

588
00:46:58.599 --> 00:47:00.320
on my lap. I stay end
up and I put her back on the

589
00:47:00.400 --> 00:47:04.960
toilet to let her finish her business, and I sat back down. I

590
00:47:05.079 --> 00:47:10.239
go, Felicia, that just didn't
happen. Yes it did, Yes,

591
00:47:10.320 --> 00:47:21.719
it did. Wow. I mean
that story might might be the winner of

592
00:47:22.039 --> 00:47:27.079
the literal shit that happens to a
person. Yeah, oh man, I

593
00:47:27.159 --> 00:47:30.480
feel so bad for that old lady. I know, well, actually we

594
00:47:30.519 --> 00:47:34.679
don't know how old she was.
I'm trying to feel said old lady comes

595
00:47:34.760 --> 00:47:37.199
up. I don't think so.
For some reason, I think she was

596
00:47:37.280 --> 00:47:40.800
like sixty or something, but I
could be making that up. Yeah,

597
00:47:40.840 --> 00:47:49.719
but how mortifying, Absolutely mortifying.
Yeah. I love the image of him

598
00:47:50.320 --> 00:47:53.599
picking her up and placing her back
on the toilet with her pants down.

599
00:47:53.679 --> 00:47:59.519
That's just it's like it's like a
cartoon in my head. And I want

600
00:47:59.559 --> 00:48:05.440
to explain saying that Jamie Miller is
an attorney, and he is he is

601
00:48:06.360 --> 00:48:13.199
exceedingly um, clean and neat.
So I'm not saying I don't know,

602
00:48:13.599 --> 00:48:16.920
I'm so I'm not saying that he's
neurotic about it, but he's just extremely

603
00:48:17.599 --> 00:48:21.039
like, you know, like this
is the kind of person who maybe gets

604
00:48:21.079 --> 00:48:25.000
their haircut every two weeks, right, So it always looks very neat and

605
00:48:25.880 --> 00:48:30.400
clean. And I always see him, well, I probably never see him

606
00:48:30.400 --> 00:48:31.960
in a suit, but he,
you know, wears a suit to work

607
00:48:32.039 --> 00:48:37.880
every day and otherwise his even his
leisure wear looks ironed, you know,

608
00:48:38.039 --> 00:48:42.719
pressed and ironed. So he's very
well, you know, but he's very

609
00:48:42.800 --> 00:48:47.559
tailored. Um, he's the nicest
guy. Um. And so not that

610
00:48:47.639 --> 00:48:52.599
there's a good person for that to
happen to, right, but yeah,

611
00:48:52.800 --> 00:48:57.360
to have someone like that adds to
the comedy of him placing her back in

612
00:48:57.440 --> 00:49:00.480
there, for sure. Yeah.
Yeah, have you ever done an all

613
00:49:00.480 --> 00:49:02.800
inclusive Oh you haven't. No,
I never have. I was going to

614
00:49:02.840 --> 00:49:06.599
ask if if you have. Ryan
and I were thinking about doing one this

615
00:49:06.719 --> 00:49:09.519
year for an anniversary trip. I
think they're really fun. So Steve and

616
00:49:09.599 --> 00:49:15.800
I have gone to Sandals a couple
of times. And what's really nice I

617
00:49:15.000 --> 00:49:22.880
think about a place like Sandals is
you can they have everything. You can

618
00:49:22.960 --> 00:49:25.840
do as much or as little as
you want. And so I would like

619
00:49:27.039 --> 00:49:31.239
sit at the pool and do water
aerobics and then I would play games.

620
00:49:31.679 --> 00:49:36.199
It's like adult camp, right,
So the people who work there, they're

621
00:49:36.239 --> 00:49:39.280
like entertainers. They come over and
you know, there were some drinking games,

622
00:49:39.840 --> 00:49:43.960
which you know, I'm not a
big drinker, but I participated in

623
00:49:44.280 --> 00:49:50.840
drinking games and you know, water
polo or whatever, you know, and

624
00:49:50.960 --> 00:49:54.559
then Steve would be off doing his
thing, like he would do a lot

625
00:49:54.639 --> 00:50:00.559
of you know, water sports eitherned
to scuba dive and snarkle and things like

626
00:50:00.679 --> 00:50:04.119
that. So and then we would
You had all of your meals, and

627
00:50:04.199 --> 00:50:08.840
there's several restaurants in a place like
this, and there's an entertain minute night,

628
00:50:09.039 --> 00:50:12.960
so you know. So it's nice. So you don't have to like

629
00:50:13.039 --> 00:50:16.199
carry money around with you because everything
is included and you have all of these

630
00:50:17.039 --> 00:50:22.480
like things. So the only downside
is that if you're going to a place,

631
00:50:22.599 --> 00:50:29.000
then you really aren't taking the opportunity
to go see the place, like

632
00:50:29.159 --> 00:50:34.800
we went to Barbados and like we
we like never left the resort, you

633
00:50:34.880 --> 00:50:38.920
know, so we didn't actually see
Barbados. Yeah, but I think they're

634
00:50:38.920 --> 00:50:43.199
really fun. I would do I
would do more of those. And have

635
00:50:43.360 --> 00:50:46.400
you ever been to Puerto Rico?
I don't think so. I don't think

636
00:50:46.440 --> 00:50:52.519
we've been to Puerto Rico. I
mean there might have been, but that

637
00:50:52.559 --> 00:50:54.039
can't be true because I feel like
I've been to the San Juan airport.

638
00:50:54.440 --> 00:50:59.239
So maybe years ago we took um
maybe on our honeymoon, we took a

639
00:50:59.320 --> 00:51:04.679
cruise and it we might have left
from Puerto Rico, but I can't say

640
00:51:04.719 --> 00:51:07.679
I've spent a time in Puerto Rico. How about you never been to Puerto

641
00:51:07.760 --> 00:51:10.519
Rico? Yeah, but I'd like
to go. I'd like to go a

642
00:51:10.599 --> 00:51:14.960
lot of places I'd like to go, although I wouldn't take one of those

643
00:51:15.000 --> 00:51:19.119
buses if I had the choice,
you know, or go to the bathroom

644
00:51:19.480 --> 00:51:24.159
on it. Yeah. I'm definitely
a lay by the pool kind of vacation

645
00:51:24.360 --> 00:51:30.320
person. I love a hot,
tropical beach vacation. And Steve is really

646
00:51:30.400 --> 00:51:36.920
active. So that wasn't you know
something really great about a vacation like that?

647
00:51:37.000 --> 00:51:38.679
As he could be as active as
he wants, and I can lay

648
00:51:38.840 --> 00:51:43.519
by the pool as long as I
want. But you know, it's okay

649
00:51:43.719 --> 00:51:46.039
that we each try to meet each
other, you know, his turn,

650
00:51:46.159 --> 00:51:52.199
my turn, his turn, his
turn, my turn. What about what

651
00:51:52.280 --> 00:51:58.559
kind of vacation do you like?
I I like an active vacation usually,

652
00:51:58.599 --> 00:52:02.199
I like I like sight seeing,
a like tasty food, and a like

653
00:52:02.400 --> 00:52:07.239
variety, you know. So I
always get I always get a little bit

654
00:52:07.280 --> 00:52:14.599
bored with like beach vacations or relaxation
vacations because I end up just getting restless.

655
00:52:15.599 --> 00:52:17.599
So but I think that that would
probably be a fun thing about it

656
00:52:17.679 --> 00:52:21.800
all inclusive, is there's like a
bunch of activities and things to do,

657
00:52:22.079 --> 00:52:23.960
right, So it's not just like
I can like I would love to lie

658
00:52:24.000 --> 00:52:28.599
on the beach for like one and
a half hours every day. That would

659
00:52:28.639 --> 00:52:30.360
be great, But then you have
the rest of the hours of the day

660
00:52:30.440 --> 00:52:34.440
that I don't want to just be
like laying bait by a pool instead of

661
00:52:34.519 --> 00:52:37.760
on the beach or you know,
sitting at the hot tub or having a

662
00:52:37.880 --> 00:52:39.880
drink. You know, I want
like more active things, like I love

663
00:52:39.920 --> 00:52:45.920
a museum, you know. Yeah, like historical things. Yeah, I

664
00:52:45.039 --> 00:52:50.000
like to be active. I could
sit in the pool, you know,

665
00:52:50.079 --> 00:52:53.400
like in the shallow end where there's
like the little like long steps. I

666
00:52:53.480 --> 00:52:58.840
could sit in the pool with a
book and a drink, literally for hours.

667
00:52:59.000 --> 00:53:01.920
That's just my dream thing. Yeah
to do I mean, in fury,

668
00:53:02.039 --> 00:53:07.960
it sounds great, you know,
but in practice it doesn't work out

669
00:53:08.000 --> 00:53:12.199
for me. Ryan loves the beach. He'll spend all day on the beach

670
00:53:13.199 --> 00:53:19.719
over and over. But yeah,
and I like to hike also, And

671
00:53:19.880 --> 00:53:23.280
I like, I love cities.
I love to investigate like a city.

672
00:53:23.400 --> 00:53:30.559
I love like little boutique towns and
streets and things like that. So I

673
00:53:30.760 --> 00:53:36.719
love Vancouver. They have such a
beautiful city. Yeah. But yeah,

674
00:53:37.320 --> 00:53:43.920
anyway, So while my last story
is told by my friend Karen Jancapolis,

675
00:53:44.559 --> 00:53:49.079
and I want to say, um, we knew Karen many many years ago

676
00:53:50.199 --> 00:53:58.719
when we lived in New York,
and um, Steve worked for her former

677
00:53:58.840 --> 00:54:05.280
husband, George, And so this
is many many years later that we have

678
00:54:06.000 --> 00:54:10.599
reconnected with Karen, and she told
my husband this story. She told Steve

679
00:54:10.679 --> 00:54:15.920
this story on the phone and he
told me and I said, oh boy,

680
00:54:15.280 --> 00:54:19.440
we've got to get Karen on the
podcast to tell the story. So

681
00:54:19.639 --> 00:54:27.519
I'm warning anyone who's listening, if
you're even slightly squeamish about physical injury,

682
00:54:28.599 --> 00:54:31.639
you might want to fast forward through
this one. So this is kareny On

683
00:54:31.719 --> 00:54:36.440
Coppolis tells the story of her left
foot. I'm nervous, but okay,

684
00:54:36.519 --> 00:54:42.719
here we go. You should be
one day. It's Holy week before Easter,

685
00:54:43.480 --> 00:54:47.719
and traditionally we had about one hundred
people over for Easter, you know,

686
00:54:47.840 --> 00:54:52.719
with the lamb on the spit and
that very my big fat creek wedding

687
00:54:52.800 --> 00:54:58.400
kind of Easter. And I was
going food shopping for a hundred people.

688
00:54:58.480 --> 00:55:01.920
So my mom comes over to watch, and a friend of mine calls me

689
00:55:01.960 --> 00:55:07.079
and says, oh, let's go
rock climbing. I think, well,

690
00:55:07.119 --> 00:55:13.039
I'm going out anyway. Who No, So I go rock climbing. And

691
00:55:13.119 --> 00:55:15.400
let me tell you. So,
there's there's a couple of reason reasons women

692
00:55:15.559 --> 00:55:20.639
rock climbing go rock climb. One
of them is because when you look up,

693
00:55:21.199 --> 00:55:25.480
you get to look up at all
these male back muscles and the best

694
00:55:27.239 --> 00:55:32.880
behinds you've ever seen. So really
you're trying to keep climbing, Yeah,

695
00:55:34.000 --> 00:55:44.000
you're just following basically. So there's
that. And then also women rock climb

696
00:55:44.119 --> 00:55:47.800
very differently from men. Men have
really big, strong muscles in their arms

697
00:55:47.880 --> 00:55:52.519
and they pull, but women don't
have that, so we push with our

698
00:55:52.599 --> 00:55:55.039
legs, a very different technique.
So there I am with my friend and

699
00:55:55.960 --> 00:56:00.679
we are I have a question looking, wait, quick question, where are

700
00:56:00.760 --> 00:56:05.920
you? What state is this?
What I would love to tell you.

701
00:56:06.400 --> 00:56:08.119
I would love to tell you it
was one of the sexy places I climbed

702
00:56:08.159 --> 00:56:10.880
when I was, you know,
in my late teens in early twenties.

703
00:56:10.880 --> 00:56:15.239
I would love to say it was
Colorado or Canada or Montana. It was

704
00:56:15.280 --> 00:56:22.840
an indoor climbing gym in Connecticut.
So it was on the waterfront. So

705
00:56:22.159 --> 00:56:25.440
they had all these old warehouse buildings
and it was on the waterfront, and

706
00:56:27.039 --> 00:56:30.360
so yeah, it was high.
I happened to know it was twenty eight

707
00:56:30.440 --> 00:56:32.280
feet tall. We'll talk about how
I know that later, But so it

708
00:56:32.440 --> 00:56:36.239
was high, you got. But
it was in indoor gym, so it

709
00:56:36.360 --> 00:56:38.719
wasn't in one of those really cool
split places. There's no helicopter rescue in

710
00:56:38.800 --> 00:56:44.119
Pauls or anything like that, which
you'd make for a better story. But

711
00:56:45.800 --> 00:56:52.440
so I'm climbing, I'm looking and
I rented equipment because I went out at

712
00:56:52.440 --> 00:56:54.840
the last minute, and I wasn't
familiar with the equipment. So there's some

713
00:56:54.920 --> 00:57:00.440
rules to rock climbing. Know your
equipment, so don't ever rent. Just

714
00:57:00.519 --> 00:57:02.239
climb with your own. If you're
going to fall more than twenty feet,

715
00:57:02.400 --> 00:57:07.519
something's going to break, so small
think about how you're going to fall.

716
00:57:08.280 --> 00:57:13.639
So I'm in this rock climbing equipment
and I climb. I'm in this harness

717
00:57:13.679 --> 00:57:15.800
and I climb up the wall,
and there's this thing called a tabletop,

718
00:57:15.880 --> 00:57:19.840
so it goes like this, and
it comes parallel to the earth and goes

719
00:57:19.920 --> 00:57:23.360
back up. Women can't do these
climbs because we don't have the upper body

720
00:57:23.360 --> 00:57:27.920
strength. It's very hard. So
I come around and I do this,

721
00:57:28.079 --> 00:57:31.440
and I do it expertly, and
I come down and I'm full of myself

722
00:57:31.519 --> 00:57:36.400
and I'm so amazing, and I
hand the carabiner to my friend who I'm

723
00:57:36.400 --> 00:57:43.159
climbing with, and the man who
I had been looking at comes over and

724
00:57:43.239 --> 00:57:46.599
says, I've never seen a woman
to that climb. Can you do it

725
00:57:46.639 --> 00:57:51.400
again? And I go, of
course I can, and I take the

726
00:57:51.480 --> 00:57:54.519
carabaner back, and I take the
carabiner back and I hook it up to

727
00:57:54.639 --> 00:57:58.880
my harness. But instead of hooking
up to the weight bearing loop, I

728
00:57:59.320 --> 00:58:01.199
hooked up to the walk bag loop. So, just like gymnasts, if

729
00:58:01.199 --> 00:58:05.599
your hands get sweaty STI comm in
a chalkbag. Typically a chalkbag loop is

730
00:58:05.599 --> 00:58:08.480
on the back, so I didn't
realize I hooked up to the non weight

731
00:58:08.519 --> 00:58:13.480
bearing loop. So I gets wait, wait, wait, because for people

732
00:58:13.679 --> 00:58:16.440
like me anyone else who doesn't really
understand this, like you have to,

733
00:58:17.599 --> 00:58:22.159
I wouldn't even know. So this
is like what if you are tethered to

734
00:58:22.280 --> 00:58:27.320
a rope. So I'm wearing a
harness, yeah, and there's a loop

735
00:58:27.440 --> 00:58:32.519
on it that you put a carabineer
on that metal clip and it's attached to

736
00:58:32.719 --> 00:58:37.000
a rope and someone's holding the other
end of the rope and they're guiding you.

737
00:58:37.119 --> 00:58:38.880
So if you slip, they got
they have your weight. Okay.

738
00:58:39.199 --> 00:58:45.719
So the weight bearing loop is right
below your belly button, so when you

739
00:58:45.840 --> 00:58:49.360
hook up, that's where the center
of your weight is and should you fall,

740
00:58:49.480 --> 00:58:52.599
the person can easily hold you up. But right next to that little

741
00:58:52.639 --> 00:58:55.719
loop was another one where the chalkbag
went, so there was no space between.

742
00:58:55.760 --> 00:59:00.320
And because I was so flattered,
I did it look where I was

743
00:59:00.360 --> 00:59:04.079
hooking up, and I hooked up
to the chalk bag loop, so just

744
00:59:04.199 --> 00:59:08.480
a bag. So yeah, that's
what I did. And I climbed up

745
00:59:08.519 --> 00:59:13.559
the wall and I got to the
flat part and I slipped. And first

746
00:59:13.599 --> 00:59:15.760
thing that goes through my head is, oh, well, that doesn't look

747
00:59:15.840 --> 00:59:20.920
very cool. Then the second thing
is holy smokes. I realized what I

748
00:59:20.960 --> 00:59:22.480
had done, and I looked down
and I saw I wasn't attached to the

749
00:59:22.599 --> 00:59:28.079
roope. But meanwhile, I'm like
a spider on ceiling. So I think,

750
00:59:28.159 --> 00:59:31.599
okay, I'm way over twenty feet. Christopher Reeve fell five feet of

751
00:59:31.639 --> 00:59:36.639
a horse of a horse paralyzed from
the neck down. I have four small

752
00:59:36.760 --> 00:59:39.280
children, so I dropped my feet
down. So now I'm just hanging by

753
00:59:39.360 --> 00:59:44.880
my hands, and then I fell
straight down to my legs. Okay,

754
00:59:45.039 --> 00:59:49.599
you were hanging onto the flat part
of the well. Yeah, there's these

755
00:59:49.639 --> 00:59:52.239
little hand holds, right, So
there's these little leesel nubs that you hold

756
00:59:52.280 --> 00:59:55.639
on to. And I've never done
a pull up in my life, let

757
00:59:55.719 --> 01:00:00.400
alone held onto something with just my
fingers only with all my weight. So

758
01:00:00.360 --> 01:00:04.119
I thought, okay, well that's
better than landing on my back. So

759
01:00:05.320 --> 01:00:08.719
I dropped down. I land on
both my feet. My left foot flies

760
01:00:08.760 --> 01:00:14.599
off hume. My right foot and
my right lower leg are crushed. They're

761
01:00:14.639 --> 01:00:16.599
just like the weight of it has
broken all the bones. I'm pretty sure.

762
01:00:16.639 --> 01:00:23.079
So I remember very little after that. I remember my friend running over

763
01:00:23.679 --> 01:00:27.440
and saying, it's like I laid
there, and I thought, okay,

764
01:00:27.440 --> 01:00:30.239
wait, I don't actually feel like
I'm in as much pain as I should

765
01:00:30.320 --> 01:00:35.360
be in. So I went to
sit up, and my friend smashed my

766
01:00:35.480 --> 01:00:40.400
head to the ground and said,
oh, don't look so. So I

767
01:00:40.519 --> 01:00:45.360
sit up anyway, and I see
my foot two feet away from my body.

768
01:00:45.079 --> 01:00:52.119
I throw up, urinate, and
poop at the same time. By

769
01:00:52.199 --> 01:00:58.800
the way, I'm sure that man
remembers me so that man I was trying

770
01:00:58.840 --> 01:01:05.679
to impress. I'm sure to this
day he remembers saying. So. I

771
01:01:05.719 --> 01:01:09.079
don't remember the next seventy two hours
a lot, but I do remember the

772
01:01:09.199 --> 01:01:13.679
emt They brought me to the nearest
hospital, which was not which was not

773
01:01:13.760 --> 01:01:17.320
really a trauma center and not equipped
to deal with it. But the emergency

774
01:01:17.360 --> 01:01:21.719
crew, the ambulance drivers came in
the next day and they said, we

775
01:01:21.880 --> 01:01:23.320
just had to see how you were
doing. They came into my room and

776
01:01:23.400 --> 01:01:27.320
they talked to me, and apparently
in the ambulance, I was I was

777
01:01:27.400 --> 01:01:30.400
teaching a biathalon class at the time. I was teaching people that had to

778
01:01:30.440 --> 01:01:36.840
shave time off their cycling and off
their running. In the ambulance, you

779
01:01:36.920 --> 01:01:38.400
were doing that. So no,
no, so that's what I was doing

780
01:01:38.440 --> 01:01:44.679
for a living when I have so
okay so, and I was to start

781
01:01:44.719 --> 01:01:47.960
a new class, like a new
twelve week segment that weekend, you know

782
01:01:49.079 --> 01:01:52.800
that, that Easter weekend. So
the EMTs come in and they go,

783
01:01:53.280 --> 01:01:55.440
we just had to see who you're
doing. We were so worried. We

784
01:01:55.519 --> 01:01:59.480
thought about you. We've had bad
dreams and I didn't remember anything. So

785
01:01:59.559 --> 01:02:04.679
I asked them about what they saw, and apparently I kept saying, I

786
01:02:04.960 --> 01:02:08.599
have to teach a running class tomorrow. Am I going to be okay to

787
01:02:08.639 --> 01:02:12.880
teach the running class? And the
man was looking at my foot in a

788
01:02:13.000 --> 01:02:16.280
bucket of ice. Its like,
no, no, you're not going to

789
01:02:16.360 --> 01:02:22.280
teach the class, or it's not
happening. I think it's funny that you

790
01:02:22.400 --> 01:02:25.079
were more concerned about teaching the running
class than the hundred people that were coming

791
01:02:25.119 --> 01:02:30.719
to your house for Easter dinner.
Now, yeah, my mom my mom

792
01:02:30.800 --> 01:02:34.840
pulled it off. My mom hosted. She was amazing. Yeah, so

793
01:02:35.320 --> 01:02:37.719
because honestly, because the kids were
small and it was something they looked forward

794
01:02:37.719 --> 01:02:40.559
to, and we couldn't have their
mother have a tragic event and then take

795
01:02:40.599 --> 01:02:45.159
away their their holiday with their cousins
and everything. So I made them all

796
01:02:45.199 --> 01:02:50.199
Pastrowder. Yeah. So I got
stories about it. I heard all about

797
01:02:50.239 --> 01:02:52.599
it. So I wound up in
the hospital for twenty one days. I

798
01:02:52.800 --> 01:02:59.079
had ten surgeries in twenty one days
to reattach the foot, and then some

799
01:02:59.199 --> 01:03:01.960
other stuff went medically wrong and I
was put in you know, I see

800
01:03:02.039 --> 01:03:05.920
you, and you know it was
pretty tragic. And I came out of

801
01:03:05.960 --> 01:03:08.320
it in a wheelchair because I've got
one broken leg and one leg that can't

802
01:03:08.960 --> 01:03:13.960
support weight because they just sewed my
footback on. So I spent six months

803
01:03:14.000 --> 01:03:16.639
in a wheelchair. Luckily, we
had just built our new house which was

804
01:03:16.679 --> 01:03:22.840
handicapped friendly because we were preparing,
God forbid our parents needed handicaps space.

805
01:03:22.400 --> 01:03:25.800
So it was great. I mean, I had there was an elevator,

806
01:03:25.960 --> 01:03:30.559
I had ample room in the kitchen
to roll around and cook. And there's

807
01:03:30.559 --> 01:03:34.280
this funny story with my son.
My son was nine at the time,

808
01:03:34.719 --> 01:03:37.840
and he I was going to start
new rules. You have kids, you

809
01:03:37.920 --> 01:03:40.159
know, like your house is a
disaster for ten years. And then I'm

810
01:03:40.199 --> 01:03:44.039
like, okay, we have this
new construction. We're only going to eat

811
01:03:44.039 --> 01:03:46.039
in the kitchen. We're not going
to you know, eat in the living

812
01:03:46.119 --> 01:03:50.039
room anymore. We're going to keep
the house neat. And I'm lying on

813
01:03:50.119 --> 01:03:54.280
the couch with my two legs and
casts and he comes in with a peanut

814
01:03:54.280 --> 01:04:00.760
butter and jelly sandwich and I said, look up, We're we're gonna eat

815
01:04:00.760 --> 01:04:02.559
in the kitchen. And the sassy
little boy that he is, he goes,

816
01:04:03.559 --> 01:04:09.199
well, you can do about it. So let me tell you.

817
01:04:09.840 --> 01:04:14.079
I flew. He saw the mom
look in my eyes, and I flew

818
01:04:14.199 --> 01:04:16.880
off the couch so fast on my
arms to back up. And he starts

819
01:04:16.920 --> 01:04:20.119
to run upstairs, figuring I can't
get up there. So I scooched myself

820
01:04:20.239 --> 01:04:25.920
up backwards on the stairs and I
reached back and I grabbed his foot,

821
01:04:26.679 --> 01:04:31.320
and I accidentally like grabbed it harder
than I intended. He falls face on

822
01:04:31.440 --> 01:04:36.000
the steps, knocks out a tooth. Now I'm a handicapped woman who's a

823
01:04:36.079 --> 01:04:45.320
child abusers. Horrible, Holy cow, That's quite the story, isn't it.

824
01:04:45.880 --> 01:04:49.519
It really is, Oh my god. But she kept her foot,

825
01:04:50.000 --> 01:04:55.199
yes, they were able to put
it back on. Yes, But I'm

826
01:04:55.239 --> 01:04:59.360
going to tell you what I didn't
share in that clip. There's one more

827
01:04:59.440 --> 01:05:03.639
piece to that story. So,
so Karen is um and at the time,

828
01:05:03.880 --> 01:05:05.920
you know, when we met her, she was very very young,

829
01:05:06.000 --> 01:05:14.719
like in her twenties and young like
attractive, you know woman. And she

830
01:05:14.920 --> 01:05:19.280
told me at the end of that
telling of her story that she used to

831
01:05:19.400 --> 01:05:25.719
like to wear high heels. And
they reattached her foot. You know,

832
01:05:25.880 --> 01:05:31.119
you don't and you no longer have
the ankle motion right of it's just literally

833
01:05:31.239 --> 01:05:35.159
like put on there. And they
they attached it so that her foot was

834
01:05:36.159 --> 01:05:42.159
flat right like just like a right
angle, basically a ninety degree angle.

835
01:05:42.800 --> 01:05:46.880
And um, she didn't like that
because she that meant that she had to

836
01:05:46.920 --> 01:05:53.119
wear sneakers on that foot, you
know. So she went back and had

837
01:05:53.159 --> 01:06:01.039
an additional surgery where they broke her
foot again and reattached it at an angle

838
01:06:01.519 --> 01:06:05.639
so that she could wear high heels. And so now she has to wear

839
01:06:05.760 --> 01:06:11.800
high heels or she has to wear
high heels. Oh my god, I

840
01:06:12.440 --> 01:06:15.559
know, I suppose she could wear
sneakers if she puts I think she's got

841
01:06:15.599 --> 01:06:19.880
an insert that are like a very
large wedge that she could put in her

842
01:06:20.159 --> 01:06:24.800
sneakers. But I mean, boy, that's dedication to high heels. Huh,

843
01:06:25.000 --> 01:06:27.679
that sure is. Oh my god. I would never be that dedicated

844
01:06:27.719 --> 01:06:30.519
to high heels. I'd be like, finally I have an excuse, you

845
01:06:30.639 --> 01:06:34.599
know, right right right? Yeah? Oh my god. Wow. So

846
01:06:34.880 --> 01:06:40.880
that's why I don't do anything where
my feet have to leave the ground like

847
01:06:41.360 --> 01:06:45.119
that. So when did this story
happen in terms of how when you knew

848
01:06:45.199 --> 01:06:51.599
her? So we met her before
she was married to George. She had

849
01:06:51.639 --> 01:06:58.800
just come to work for George,
and my husband worked for George at this

850
01:06:59.400 --> 01:07:03.320
you know, scientific startup company,
and then, um, this story happened.

851
01:07:03.480 --> 01:07:06.199
We had left we were this was
in Connecticut, not in New York.

852
01:07:06.400 --> 01:07:10.880
We were only in Connecticut for three
years and then we moved back to

853
01:07:11.000 --> 01:07:15.079
the Midwest. And um, I
don't know if she said how old her

854
01:07:15.199 --> 01:07:19.280
kids were. Maybe her son Luca
was eight or ten at the time,

855
01:07:19.440 --> 01:07:25.599
so a good ten years. And
we had kind of lost touch a bit

856
01:07:25.760 --> 01:07:32.840
during that time. And that was
probably maybe fifteen years ago at least now

857
01:07:33.760 --> 01:07:39.800
that we got rein touch and she
told told us that story. So that

858
01:07:40.360 --> 01:07:46.519
is horrifying, horrifying. Yeah,
and UM named for that movie UM with

859
01:07:46.679 --> 01:07:53.119
Daniel day lewis my left foot?
Um? So was it her left foot?

860
01:07:53.480 --> 01:07:56.960
It was? It wasn't eat her
left foot. I made sure before

861
01:07:57.000 --> 01:08:00.159
I named the episode that that it
was her left foot. Um? Did

862
01:08:00.360 --> 01:08:04.360
did you not listen to those full
stories? Like? Were those all I

863
01:08:04.440 --> 01:08:08.920
did? You didn't? Okay?
So you were all surprised by the mom

864
01:08:09.280 --> 01:08:14.400
I wanted to be surprised by them. I didn't want to know exactly what

865
01:08:14.559 --> 01:08:15.800
was going on, so I listened
to just, you know, just to

866
01:08:15.880 --> 01:08:19.119
find the clips. But I didn't
listen to the stories. Okay, okay.

867
01:08:19.560 --> 01:08:25.840
So would you say, looking over
the years of you doing the podcast,

868
01:08:26.399 --> 01:08:29.920
UM, were there any kinds of
stories you thought you might get that

869
01:08:30.000 --> 01:08:34.119
you never did or stories that you
were surprised that you like heard like similar

870
01:08:34.239 --> 01:08:39.279
versions of from different people. Well, UM, a lot of people had

871
01:08:39.399 --> 01:08:45.399
travel disasters, you know, things
that happened on vacation that were you know,

872
01:08:45.800 --> 01:08:49.600
um that things that went wrong?
Um, A lot of a lot

873
01:08:49.680 --> 01:08:54.439
of injury stories like that was that
was? I have a lot of injury

874
01:08:54.479 --> 01:08:58.640
stories, you know. Um,
so there were a lot of injury stories.

875
01:08:59.560 --> 01:09:02.720
Um, some more recent things that
happened while I was drunk stories.

876
01:09:04.199 --> 01:09:09.239
Yeah, so a few of those
I had. I tell you, I'd

877
01:09:09.279 --> 01:09:14.720
really wanted to interview a flight attendant. Could not get a flight attendant for

878
01:09:14.840 --> 01:09:17.960
one reason or another. I don't
know any flight attendants, and the few

879
01:09:18.039 --> 01:09:23.439
people I reached out to on Instagram
did not want to come on a podcast

880
01:09:23.520 --> 01:09:26.640
and tell me stories. You know. I guess they wanted to keep their

881
01:09:26.720 --> 01:09:30.000
jobs. I don't know any flight
attendants either, although I wish I did

882
01:09:30.159 --> 01:09:32.960
because I know, like you know, flight attendants get like friends and family

883
01:09:33.760 --> 01:09:38.880
fairs. And so my little sister
thought about becoming a flight attendant for just

884
01:09:39.000 --> 01:09:41.600
a brief amount of time, and
I was really on board. I was

885
01:09:41.640 --> 01:09:45.800
like, let's do it, Alice, let's get you that job. You

886
01:09:45.880 --> 01:09:48.239
know. I think I considered it
too when I was in my early twenties

887
01:09:48.279 --> 01:09:51.239
and I was just like trying to
find a way to pay my bills and

888
01:09:51.359 --> 01:09:55.920
also travel. See, I hate
to fly, so I could never be

889
01:09:56.600 --> 01:10:00.760
a flight attendant. Are you married
to flying or just uncomfortable? It's um,

890
01:10:01.239 --> 01:10:05.880
you know, I get motion sick. And so that yes, and

891
01:10:06.479 --> 01:10:12.239
anything that moves. Um. But
like if I went back enough in this

892
01:10:12.399 --> 01:10:16.199
chair, I'd probably get motion sick. So I get I get motion sick,

893
01:10:16.439 --> 01:10:21.800
and thus it makes me anxious.
Am I gonna get sick on this

894
01:10:23.000 --> 01:10:27.720
flight? So? I mean I
haven't. I have a nice little like

895
01:10:28.600 --> 01:10:31.039
cocktail of things that I take now
so that I don't get sick. So

896
01:10:31.279 --> 01:10:34.439
it's gotten much better. But you
know, I'm going on this cruise in

897
01:10:34.520 --> 01:10:39.560
July, and so I'm a little
concerned about getting seasoned. I would think

898
01:10:39.560 --> 01:10:44.399
a cruise would be the worst.
Thank you. I mean, like,

899
01:10:44.479 --> 01:10:45.520
well, you've been on them before, though, right, I have.

900
01:10:45.880 --> 01:10:49.079
I've been on a couple of cruises. Yeah, so you manage cheer.

901
01:10:49.119 --> 01:10:53.319
It's not too bad. I mean, I the thing is that I like

902
01:10:53.479 --> 01:10:58.880
to travel, so somehow I make
it through. Well, I have a

903
01:10:58.960 --> 01:11:02.159
feeling it's going to be right,
it'll be great, It'll be great,

904
01:11:02.279 --> 01:11:06.880
and um, yeah, it'll be
great. And I have all of my

905
01:11:08.600 --> 01:11:13.279
drugs to help me get through if
it's not. So that's what's that's what

906
01:11:13.520 --> 01:11:19.640
matters. I have my drugs.
Yeah. Um, so let's see reflecting

907
01:11:19.760 --> 01:11:26.560
on the last few years, I
mean, your story for how this podcast

908
01:11:26.720 --> 01:11:30.079
came to be. You told that
story in episode one, which I think

909
01:11:30.159 --> 01:11:32.119
listeners, if they're listening to this
and they haven't heard that, should definitely

910
01:11:32.119 --> 01:11:40.039
go back and hear it. Um. Do you feel like this show was

911
01:11:40.159 --> 01:11:45.119
just like the natural thing to do
after after that story? Yeah, because

912
01:11:45.800 --> 01:11:49.920
you know this, this whole podcast
was about like the shit that happened to

913
01:11:50.119 --> 01:11:55.000
me, like this shit that always
happens to me, good shit and bat

914
01:11:55.079 --> 01:12:00.600
shit and you know, things I
get myself into, you know, like

915
01:12:00.119 --> 01:12:03.800
falling down and stuff like that,
but also like the good stuff, like

916
01:12:04.720 --> 01:12:11.600
you know, getting myself like on
stage with my favorite murder ladies. So

917
01:12:11.800 --> 01:12:17.720
it was completely the right next step. And um, you know, I

918
01:12:17.880 --> 01:12:21.640
I feel like I'm still gonna want
to tell some of those stories so because

919
01:12:21.960 --> 01:12:27.680
it's not going to stop happening to
me, you know. Um, so

920
01:12:27.960 --> 01:12:30.560
who knows. I might be back, but um, but yeah, And

921
01:12:30.720 --> 01:12:35.439
I like I like interviewing people,
and I like, um, I like

922
01:12:35.600 --> 01:12:40.720
talking to people. I like having
fun. I like swearing, so like

923
01:12:40.880 --> 01:12:45.159
I can swear on the podcast,
and um, whereas you can't swear in

924
01:12:45.359 --> 01:12:48.359
other parts of your life, you
have to be just be very prim I

925
01:12:48.800 --> 01:12:55.840
should not swear with my clients.
That's true. I really shouldn't swear with

926
01:12:56.000 --> 01:12:59.159
my students, you know, Okay, that's fair. Well, no,

927
01:12:59.199 --> 01:13:01.920
they're college students, right, they're
grad students. They're grad students. Oh

928
01:13:02.000 --> 01:13:06.039
yeah, grad students. That's even
more of an excuse to swear. But

929
01:13:06.199 --> 01:13:10.000
you know, I can't like swear
as much as I might swear on the

930
01:13:10.359 --> 01:13:14.960
on the podcast. But yeah,
so so yeah, I think it's been

931
01:13:15.319 --> 01:13:18.800
it's been a great medium. I
got to tell I got to tell most

932
01:13:18.840 --> 01:13:23.159
of my stories. It was all
it was supposed to all be me telling

933
01:13:23.239 --> 01:13:27.720
stories, you know, and then
well that was my how I originally envisioned

934
01:13:27.760 --> 01:13:30.359
it, but other people had stories, so okay, come on, tell

935
01:13:30.399 --> 01:13:34.880
your stories. So yeah, it
evolved into that. That's so funny.

936
01:13:34.880 --> 01:13:38.680
I didn't realize that. I mean, I'm relatively new to this, to

937
01:13:38.800 --> 01:13:42.720
this podcast. You know, it's
just been the last five or so even

938
01:13:42.800 --> 01:13:47.159
episodes since I've been around, so
it's hard for me to really like contextualize

939
01:13:47.800 --> 01:13:50.399
where it came from. And also
I think you know, you came you

940
01:13:50.439 --> 01:13:54.359
went through a few different or I
mean, you started at one place and

941
01:13:54.399 --> 01:13:58.039
you ended up in a a in
a totally new place. Did you feel

942
01:13:58.039 --> 01:14:01.000
like you've learned anything along the way. I mean about like podcasting and stuff

943
01:14:02.079 --> 01:14:08.520
about yourself. I don't care what
you learned about podcasts unless it's interesting.

944
01:14:08.560 --> 01:14:12.880
I guess, well, I mean, I guess I just learned. It's

945
01:14:12.920 --> 01:14:15.640
not that I didn't know this,
but I didn't know how to put it

946
01:14:15.720 --> 01:14:19.840
into words. Like I'm a storyteller. I like to tell stories, so

947
01:14:20.159 --> 01:14:24.439
and I think I'm good at telling
stories. So so I learned that,

948
01:14:25.079 --> 01:14:30.199
and I learned that, I you
know, um, yeah, I think

949
01:14:30.239 --> 01:14:34.359
I have a good knack for knowing
what's funny. And I think I'm funny.

950
01:14:34.680 --> 01:14:41.439
So I've learned some things about myself. I can't act to save my

951
01:14:41.560 --> 01:14:45.399
life, but I can act like
myself. Really Well, now, you

952
01:14:45.479 --> 01:14:49.439
said you told almost all your stories. Is there a story that you didn't

953
01:14:49.560 --> 01:14:54.239
tell on the show that you're like, you know, I never told that

954
01:14:54.560 --> 01:14:57.600
story. Well, I used to
have a list of all the stories that

955
01:14:57.720 --> 01:15:00.600
I wanted to tell. U.
I don't think I told the story of

956
01:15:00.720 --> 01:15:04.720
my first kiss. Is it a
good story? Well? I was just

957
01:15:04.880 --> 01:15:10.520
like old. I was I was
I was old. I didn't get kissed.

958
01:15:10.520 --> 01:15:16.199
So I was seventeen years old and
was on this vacation with my grand

959
01:15:16.800 --> 01:15:25.119
grandmother grandparents in Miami Beach, and
they lived in this condo. UM half

960
01:15:25.159 --> 01:15:32.199
of the year, and I met
this young man from Columbia and um he

961
01:15:32.399 --> 01:15:36.960
was very cute. His name was
Ari, and UM fell hard for Ari

962
01:15:38.560 --> 01:15:43.239
and went on a date and got
my first kiss. And I didn't like

963
01:15:43.439 --> 01:15:47.319
it that first day. It's rather
shocking the first time you're ever kissed like

964
01:15:47.479 --> 01:15:54.079
that, right, And I wrote
my friend Wendy Fox a letter from Florida.

965
01:15:54.520 --> 01:15:57.479
Um, I finally because it was
you know, like, come on,

966
01:15:57.560 --> 01:16:01.000
already got my first kiss, and
I said something I didn't like it.

967
01:16:01.119 --> 01:16:06.119
I'm gonna have to try it again
the next night. So I learned

968
01:16:06.119 --> 01:16:10.000
to like it. But did you
try it again the next night? Oh?

969
01:16:10.159 --> 01:16:13.960
Yeah, for sure? For sure? And I Ari and I were

970
01:16:14.039 --> 01:16:16.159
like a thing for the I don't
know week that I was there. Oh

971
01:16:16.239 --> 01:16:20.359
that's cute. I love a vacation
romance. Same. I mean, you

972
01:16:20.479 --> 01:16:24.199
know when I was that age,
Yeah, sure, yeah, they were

973
01:16:24.279 --> 01:16:29.560
fun. That is very sweet.
Yeah, my first kiss I also didn't

974
01:16:29.680 --> 01:16:31.880
enjoy. And I also felt like
it was very late for me, even

975
01:16:31.920 --> 01:16:36.840
though I was I think thirteen,
But it felt very very late, and

976
01:16:38.119 --> 01:16:42.640
I was at the at the at
the mall. My mom was outside waiting

977
01:16:42.760 --> 01:16:45.119
for me, and everybody like there
was like groups of people, like groups

978
01:16:45.159 --> 01:16:48.119
of friends there, and everybody was
like, they're gonna kiss, They're gonna

979
01:16:48.199 --> 01:16:50.640
kiss, you know. I was
like, that's how middle school is.

980
01:16:50.680 --> 01:16:56.239
It's everyone's very excited about these very
ridiculous things. And I had to leave

981
01:16:56.800 --> 01:17:00.560
because my mom was outside waiting for
me in the r van again or nineteen

982
01:17:00.600 --> 01:17:04.159
eighty six van again, And we
were right by the door and he like

983
01:17:04.319 --> 01:17:06.640
leaned into kiss me, and just
as you leaned into kiss me, someone

984
01:17:06.680 --> 01:17:10.760
opened the door and a gust of
wind blew all my hair directly in front

985
01:17:10.800 --> 01:17:14.760
of my face, and so he
kissed me on top of my all my

986
01:17:14.920 --> 01:17:17.920
hair stuck to like my lip gloss, and everybody laughed, and then I

987
01:17:18.039 --> 01:17:23.760
laughed and it was horrible and I
hated it. Oh I'm sorry, that

988
01:17:23.920 --> 01:17:28.239
does sound not pleasant. I mean
it was funny. I laughed about it

989
01:17:28.319 --> 01:17:31.439
too, did Okay? I thought, in true, I feel like Stacy

990
01:17:31.840 --> 01:17:34.000
fashion. I thought, of course, this is the kind of shit that

991
01:17:34.159 --> 01:17:36.439
would happen to me when I get
my first kiss, you know, And

992
01:17:36.560 --> 01:17:41.960
did you get another chance? With
that boy, I think, so I

993
01:17:42.079 --> 01:17:45.800
don't remember, you know, it
didn't It didn't last with him, Daniel

994
01:17:46.079 --> 01:17:49.279
Slindy was his name. Met him
at church group which I just went to

995
01:17:49.399 --> 01:17:55.279
to make friends. Yeah, not
for any religious reason anyways. Anyways,

996
01:17:55.600 --> 01:17:59.680
So yeah, I would think probably
most people have a good first kiss story.

997
01:18:00.159 --> 01:18:03.159
Yeah, I mean maybe you know
it. There's a lot of build

998
01:18:03.239 --> 01:18:09.079
up about it, right that first
kiss and so um, there's so many

999
01:18:09.199 --> 01:18:16.600
like expectations on it. So how
can it ever meet your your what you've

1000
01:18:16.640 --> 01:18:19.720
built it up to be. That's
probably true about most of I don't think

1001
01:18:19.720 --> 01:18:26.359
it can. Well, is there
anything you want um your listeners to know

1002
01:18:27.279 --> 01:18:31.920
um in this last episode? Your
loyal your loyal listeners now you loyal loyal

1003
01:18:32.279 --> 01:18:38.039
listeners. No, I just want
to say thanks. And it's been really

1004
01:18:38.159 --> 01:18:45.319
fun. I've really enjoyed the whole
thing. Every single aspect of this project

1005
01:18:45.439 --> 01:18:49.880
has been really fun. I've really
enjoyed how creative it is and talking to

1006
01:18:50.000 --> 01:18:56.600
people and hearing funny stories and you
know, um editing and coming up of

1007
01:18:56.720 --> 01:19:01.159
the title and doing social media and
all of those piece is really were We're

1008
01:19:01.359 --> 01:19:05.479
great fun and I'm so appreciative.
I mean, I've told some people,

1009
01:19:06.600 --> 01:19:10.439
you know, I mean, I
could look up my stats. But um,

1010
01:19:10.880 --> 01:19:14.199
when I tell people though it's that
last episode, they're like what no,

1011
01:19:14.600 --> 01:19:17.119
And I'm like, yeah, well
you know, so better to go

1012
01:19:17.199 --> 01:19:21.600
out on top when people are still
wishing you had more to tell than you

1013
01:19:21.720 --> 01:19:27.960
know, people booing you off the
stage. But I hope to continue,

1014
01:19:28.199 --> 01:19:33.479
So stay tuned. Follow my blog
on the Shit that Happens to Me dot

1015
01:19:33.520 --> 01:19:39.560
com. M Well, I'll keep
I'll keep you updated and posted. This

1016
01:19:39.840 --> 01:19:44.079
is my brand now, the Show
that Happens to Me, so you can

1017
01:19:44.119 --> 01:19:48.279
still find me there. And yeah, thanks everyone for all your help.

1018
01:19:48.359 --> 01:19:53.439
Thanks Maggie, it's been really fun
having you on the team. Yes,

1019
01:19:53.760 --> 01:19:59.199
it's been fun for me too.
Okay, well everyone, um, stay

1020
01:19:59.279 --> 01:20:02.760
safe, try not to have too
much shit happened to you, and don't

1021
01:20:02.800 --> 01:20:06.800
be a crumb. Okay, bye
bye, don't be a crumb. Yeah

1022
01:20:06.880 --> 01:20:13.279
bye. Thanks for listening to my
shit. I really appreciate it. Come

1023
01:20:13.319 --> 01:20:15.640
back and hear more shit next time
on The Ship that Happens to Me Podcast.

1024
01:20:15.720 --> 01:20:19.000
Do you think I've said shit enough
for one podcast episode?