Blueprints for Empowerment: Navigating IEPs and Parenting on the Spectrum with Vicki Christensen

Welcome And Meet Vicky

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hello, everyone, and welcome to today's episode of On the Spectrum with Sonia. Today we have a very special guest, Vicky Christensen, who is the founder of Blue Glasses Advocacy, which helps families navigate IEPs. She Vicki, apart from being the founder of Blue Glasses Advocacy, is an author and a parent to two children of special needs. Her eldest son, Luke, is 21 years old and he was born with a chromosomal abnormality, which is very rare in the world. And it ended up where he got to be featured on the unique magazine when he was a toddler. Unique magazine is a magazine that connects families of children with abnormalities in chromosomes. Vicky has a 17-year-old Everett who has ADHD. Vicky wrote a book, Uniquely Fully Enough, Neurodivergent Parenting Journey, and here to discuss all of this today is Vicki. Thank you so much for being here.

SPEAKER_02 1:11

Thank you, Sonia, for having me.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

Yeah, thank you. So Vicki, tell us about your um how like you got connected with Unique Magazine. How was it that Luke ended up being on their cover?

SPEAKER_02 1:30

Well, even that was its own journey. So when Luke was born in 2004, um a completely typical pregnancy, so we were not anticipating any issues. He um pretty quickly within the first four weeks, mostly because he has a cosmetic eye defect that led to some genetic testing. He was diagnosed with a partial trisomy of his 14th chromosome, which we later learned is extremely rare. And so we went down the path of meeting with

Luke’s Rare Chromosome Diagnosis

SPEAKER_02 2:04

geneticists and dysmorphologists, and some of these world-renowned doctors kept telling us, well, we're gonna learn from Luke. Luke is going to write his own book. And maybe you can imagine how scary that is as a first-time parent hearing, okay, my child has a chromosome disorder, and there's basically no information out there to tell me what this journey could possibly even look like. So we met with a number of specialists, and one of those specialists here in San Diego connected me to a group called um unique out of they're they're over in England somewhere, and wonderful group that connects families who have children or loved ones with rare chromosome disorders with each other.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

And what was it like to be connected to a group and be connected to other people who also are in a similar journey?

SPEAKER_02 3:08

It it was such a relief. So we were connected to one family in the world. So to date, we only know of one other family. They live in New Zealand and we've become um, I'd say, friends with them. We we keep in touch regularly, and they have a son who's a few years older than Luke, who has the same chromosome. So that same extra piece of his 14th chromosomes, chromosome. And that in itself is just a relief because I can see that Andrew was thriving early on. He was healthy, right? Most importantly. And um, they even kind of, you know, Luke resembled this boy. And um it was just a relief to see that that although, right, he did have his issues, um, he he appeared to be thriving. And there was just there was somebody else out there who we can talk to and relate to.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

In what ways in did this chromosomal abnormality affect Luke in his way of living?

SPEAKER_02 4:15

So Luke is affected, I say, globally, physically, and intellectually. So, what I like to tell people is that Luke can do anything that you or I can do. It just takes him a lot longer to do it. It may look or sound a little differently, or and he has to work a lot harder to do it. So if I can just give you one example, I remember when Luke was in first grade being in an IEP meeting and his speech pathologist, who is still at his school today, so we still see her, we both agree that Luke would probably

Assume Competence And Communication

SPEAKER_02 4:57

never be a verbal communicator. So that's in first grade. Today, at 21 years old, she jokes with me that she often has to tell Luke to stop talking. So I'm trying to remember the original question there. Sorry, Sonia.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

But um just about like, you know, in what ways was he affected? Yeah. Yes, people who are not affected by the chromosomal abnormality can do. It just takes them a little bit longer to grasp.

SPEAKER_02 5:28

And he has to work harder. So, Luke, um, he's ambulatory, he walks, but his balance can be a little bit off. He can do some like adapted keyboarding, maybe copying. He doesn't write with a pen or a pencil, but his his articulation is a bit delayed, and it's sometimes difficult for people who don't know him to understand him, but he absolutely communicates and can get his point across.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

And he can also understand.

SPEAKER_02 6:02

Oh, yes, and I'm so glad you mentioned that because receptively, like a lot of people who are neurodiverse who have special needs, they understand everything you're saying to them, right? So I always say, talk to him, ask him questions. There's no wrong questions. Like Luke understands that, correct?

SPEAKER_01 6:23

Right. And I think it's a very big misnomer that people have about those who are um special needs or with neurodivergence is that they don't get it, or they don't have empathy, or they can't um, even though, yes, maybe they may not always understand certain social situations right away, or maybe be a little slower to pick up on cues than other people. But this is where you but here's the thing, they are very observant. Absolutely. You know, this is where in many ways, and I like to say this, you know, neurodivergence and anybody with a challenge can use that to their advantage and their superpower in some ways, because their superpower is a lot of times being extremely observant and picking up on things that a lot of people who are neurotypical even might miss.

SPEAKER_02 7:18

I couldn't agree more.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

Right, right, yes. So, um when was Everett then diagnosed with ADHD?

SPEAKER_02 7:31

Well, Everett was first on the radar at school at the end of fifth grade. And I remember having a meeting with his teacher and his principal, and they had some issues with his attention, not acting out, but just kind of daydreaming, let's say, in the classroom. And I'm not kidding you when I say a week after that meeting, um, we went into the pandemic. And so he spent the next year and a half doing um virtual school. So he did independent study for his sixth grade year. And then when he went back to school in seventh grade, I brought it up and again it was noticed. So we had a 504 plan

Everett’s ADHD And Hitting A Wall

SPEAKER_02 8:13

that was put into place for seventh and eighth grade. And in ninth grade, he hit his ceiling and fell apart at school, and we ended up having him assessed for an IEP and he did qualify, even though teachers kept saying, no, Everett's really smart. I'm like, oh, I'm not denying that. He's very smart, but he is struggling to learn in the classroom. He is going to algebra and then he's coming home, and I am having to reteach him algebra, no fault of the teacher. He is just not getting it in the classroom. So we had him assessed, and he did qualify for an IEP at that time due to his inattention and some issues with auditory processing.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

So when you say that he hit the ceiling, what does that look like? What did that look like for him to hit the ceiling? And what was what were major red flags that were waving then at that point?

SPEAKER_02 9:15

So how it was explained to me by the IEP team is that um, you know, he he's intelligent and he was really able to compensate for his attention and auditory processing deficits at school up until ninth grade. And then the academic rigor, rigor just got to a point where I said hit the ceiling. So what that looked like for Everett is numerous missing assignments, teachers emailing me as a parent, and you know, teachers don't like to email parents in high school. So I was getting emails saying Everett has 10 missing assignments in Spanish. Sometimes I talk to Everett, and although I can tell he's looking at me and making eye contact, I don't think he's hearing what I'm saying. Me having to reteach him algebra, like I was having to relearn algebra one, which no parent wants to do, and reteach him in a one-to-one setting after school, outside tutoring. And most concerning, it was his school confidence was so low. He did not think he was smart, he did not think that he could be successful at school. And he would tell me, Mom, my friends get better grades than I do, and they don't work as hard as I do. And so, you know, then having that IEP put in place um really helped us all just understand his learning style a little bit better. And, you know, he had even stronger supports and accommodations put into place, along with some IEP goals and an amazing case manager who was teaching him executive functioning and how to be successful at school, which I then hope will lead to a life skill, right?

SPEAKER_01 11:06

So, what kind of skills are being taught for executive functioning?

SPEAKER_02 11:10

The biggest one is organization and planning. How to use a planner, right? What does that look like? A hard copy planner, which he refused, you know, versus a digital planner, keeping track of assignments, forming habits such as checking Google Classroom every evening to make sure he's turned everything in, because he would be notorious for starting an assignment and finishing it, but then not turning it in and never going back to and not checking his emails to see that it was missing. So doing the work and not getting credit for it. So a lot of planning and organization is being taught.

Executive Functioning Tools That Work

SPEAKER_01 11:55

And, you know, I know nowadays everything is on the computer. So, you know, there it's not like, you know, olden days when we'd have to go and write things in our notebook and go to our locker and then check, okay, what are the assignments for each class and what books do I need to bring home? You know, it was not that, you know, it's not like that now. I understand everything's just on the computer from what I see with clients.

SPEAKER_02 12:19

It is. I I'd say the majority, there are still teachers that make them write notes. And that is one area that ever I'm not sure he will ever overcome that because of his deficits with auditory processing. But then, you know, he gets accommodations such as copies of the notes. Or one of the great things about technology is that he could go into Google Classroom and print the notes from the day, right? He attempts to take the notes. We're trying to teach that skill as well, but then he has those, you know, digital notes that he can always rely on for studying and for assignments.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

And how do you feel like Google Classroom has helped him also in terms of managing things?

SPEAKER_02 13:02

It's tough because the reality is that every teacher uses it differently. And I think that's one of the struggles with kind of that age group, middle school, high school. All of a sudden you have multiple teachers and they all use the technology a little bit differently. So it's it's kind of taught him that just that you really have to go into each classroom. You have to communicate with your teachers, right? I always tell them, just communicate with them. You have great, a great support system at school, but you have to do your part. If you have a question, you have to ask. Self-advocacy is another area that we're working on with him. Um so I think it's honestly, I think it's taught him a real life skill of it's not always easy, right? It's you you kind of have to figure things out as you go, but always communicate.

SPEAKER_01 13:54

So it's like it's kind of like learning, you know, how each style is different, you know, and that in and of itself is a process. Yeah, you know, that can also be overwhelming too. I can only imagine.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

It's tough for me as a parent to go into Google Classroom because I kind of have to figure out along with them. And hey, I support him at home also. I try to back off as much as possible, but I I kind of see like, all right, it's it's it's not black or white. You do kind of have to get in there and and and learn how each teacher is gonna, you know, enter their assignments.

SPEAKER_01 14:25

Exactly, exactly. And so you you you mentioned a couple times auditory processing disorder. What does that look like for Everett?

SPEAKER_02 14:35

He has a difficult time learning in a class of 30 students. So it's any time a lesson, like think of lecturing, right? Or a lesson that is taught where the students have to listen to the teacher speak. And it's it's not a hearing deficit at all. It's how the brain, how it was explained to me, is like takes in that information. So he has a difficult time like listening and then holding that information kind of in his brain, and also being able to kind of when he needs it, it's also working memory. He has a deficit with that. When

Auditory Processing And Key Accommodations

SPEAKER_02 15:16

he needs that information on a test or on a quiz, he has issues with that short-term working memory, like kind of finding that information and then applying it to whatever he's doing at the time.

SPEAKER_01 15:29

So, what is being done in that sense to help handle the auditory processing?

SPEAKER_02 15:36

Heavy accommodations, I think, is the best thing for that, for him anyway. But he gets copies of the notes. He gets, you know, that teachers always sit him closest to instruction. So they can they could do those check-ins with him, like, you know, make sure, make sure everything just checking in on you. He's able to take breaks as needed, like short breaks. If he literally needs to get up and just stand up or just walk out of the classroom for a minute, they're very accommodating with that. Um, I I think those are probably what help him most as far as that kind of attention or the auditory processing.

SPEAKER_01 16:12

Did you have to put him in any like occupational therapy or we didn't?

unknown 16:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 16:20

We didn't. No, I think, you know, he was in, he was, I don't think he has not so much like the sensory issues. I think it's more um for him anyway, it's it's more that in the classroom in group, in like a group instruction. And, you know, there are definitely a lot of supports that occupational therapists can give to students, um, you know, like seating, right? Modified seating, cushions, all that kind of stuff. Unfortunately, because Everett, it was identified so late, like in high school, he is definitely one of those students that does not want to look different than any of the other students.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

So some of those supports, um, he just refused.

SPEAKER_01 17:08

You know, I think that's you know, common for many people, you know, when they have IEPs at school, is they want to be able to kind of be a chameleon as much as possible, right? When they need to, because they don't want to stand out and then be the prey for other kids eventually, right? So definitely, you know, it's uh one of those fine lines I think many kids walk through every day, you know.

SPEAKER_02 17:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:33

Um I agree. Yeah. So tell me a little bit to switch gears just a little bit here. The blue glasses advocacy, and I understand this advocacy, you're helping people navigate IEPs. Would it be safe to say that your own experiences led you to starting this advocacy group?

SPEAKER_02 17:57

100%. Yes. So when Luke was, I think he was in kindergarten, I re I still remember the meeting, walking into an IEP meeting and just sitting with a group. And he's got a big team because he's affected in every possible way. We had like 10 people in the room, and we're sitting there, and I just remember like I was um in the medical field back then. And so looking at the team and just like kind of nodding, and they all seemed like very nice people

Why Blue Glasses Advocacy Started

SPEAKER_02 18:25

and just agreeing and signing the IEP when I left and saying, okay, I really don't know what this means or what this is gonna look like for Luke, but um, they seemed really nice. Hopefully, you know, he makes progress. And that's not how you want to feel after an IEP meeting. So I decided to enroll in um the University of San Diego offered a certificate in special education advocacy that was primarily taught by a special education attorney. And I thought, I'm gonna enroll. It was like a three-month course once a week in the evening. And I just want to learn like what is an IEP? What are my rights? What are Luke's rights? So I took the class, which was one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life, I'll say, and met some phenomenal people, learned so much about special education and IEPs and IDEA. And at the end of the course, they offered to a few people an internship with a nonprofit to um advocate for families in the community. And so I applied and I had left my job just because balancing, raising Luke, and you know, therapies and work wasn't working. And so I applied for one of the internships. It was a few hours a week and really enjoyed the process and the collaboration with other advocates. So started attending IEP meetings with families. And the internship was about three months and then it ended for the new group to come in. And I had met a woman in that class who started her own advocacy business. So I joined her at the time and worked there for, I don't know, maybe like nine or 10 years before I started Blue Glasses Advocacy, which is my own special education advocacy group.

SPEAKER_00 20:13

But yes, it stemmed from my own experience with Luke.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

And with your own experiences of trying to get Luke the right services, the right help, you know, you taking that class, it seems like it might must have been very cathartic in some ways for you to actually like learn all the ins and outs and details of the IDEA, what an IEP can look like, what are certain recommendations and accommodations you can request of a school.

SPEAKER_02 20:47

Absolutely. I mean, it continued to help Luke, I think, because I'm always, even today, learning as an advocate. There's always new information, new situations. And I, you know, I like to tell clients that I'm a parent advocate. So I do this as a profession, but I also live it in real life. And I do understand why some parents, if very intelligent, very successful in whatever they do in life, still might need an advocate at an IEP meeting.

SPEAKER_01 21:18

You know what? I feel like honestly, you know, it doesn't matter who you are. Nobody is unscathed out of, you know, having uh having to request for accommodations as if as long as there's a kid in need of that, right? And I feel like you could be a billionaire, you know, owning multiple businesses or having a very successful one business, or you know, you could be anybody really. And you know, it's just you know, just at the end of the day, everybody, you know, goes through something when they're Having to request for something from a school. And I feel like that's where, you know, there's more commonality than differences. But the only difference is, you know, the people who have more means are able to monetarily just upfront the money to a school if they don't have it. Versus those who don't have the means, they'll need to find other ways, more loopholes to go through in order to get an accommodation for their kids and possibly others.

SPEAKER_02 22:28

Unfortunately, that is often the case. Yeah. I agree. But but I think, you know, just understanding the IEP process, which starts with a referral for a student, is really important for parents, all parents, right? Depending who you are and what you have, to understand that all students should be treated equally. And it starts with a referral to special education. And um, I'm pretty passionate about, as I advocate, training parents the best I can, right? So because advocacy, not all parents can afford advocacy. And so I try to also train them if one day I'm not there or you don't have an advocate. Like here are the, you know, the top three things that I would always do before an IEP meeting, right? Just to make it as productive and efficient as possible. Always trying to kind of sprinkle in those tips to parents.

SPEAKER_01 23:27

Yes, I'm pretty sure they're much appreciated as well. Because a lot of people don't know unless they're in it, you know, what goes into it, you know, and how, you know, the law also. Because here's the thing what a lot of people don't realize is an IEP is a legally binding document.

SPEAKER_02 23:45

Yes, it sure is.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

Yes. And so whatever's written down on there, you know, needs to be followed.

SPEAKER_02 23:54

And that's a really good point. And I also tell parents it's almost like there's two phases of the IEP. The first is writing the IEP, right? Coming together as an IEP team, um, establishing baselines, writing goals, services, supports. And I have seen beautifully written IEPs that don't implement them, which is the second phase. So now you have an IEP, it has to be implemented with fidelity over the next school year. And that sometimes is the difficult part.

SPEAKER_01 24:27

Absolutely.

IEPs As Legal Documents Plus Fidelity

SPEAKER_01 24:29

And so what then drew you, like when did you start this blue glasses advocacy? What drew you to open up your own then?

SPEAKER_02 24:39

You know, during the pandemic, I didn't do a lot of advocating because there wasn't a lot of school going on. And so there just weren't a lot of clients. And I also had two boys at home who I was trying to teach. And so once, you know, students started going back to school, I thought, all right, I think it's time to get back into it. And I just decided that um the group I was with had changed quite changed quite a bit. And I still keep in touch with them and collaborate with them. But I just always had the desire to kind of like just have my own business and take the clients that I really want to take. I do a lot of educating on wants versus needs with parents. And I would describe my advocacy as student-centered and collaborative as a parent. I'd a long-distance relationship with the school district. And I do believe um it's always better when there's open communication and transparency on both sides. So always student-centered. And I like to say I'm not an aggressive advocate. Um, there are what we call bulldog advocates out there. And if a if a client calls me and that's what they want, I'm happy to give them a referral. I could be assertive and I understand parental and student rights, but I do try to keep it student-centered and collaborative at all times.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

Well, that's I think one of the main things. I was actually just uh interestingly enough, I was talking to an attorney earlier, and um he he had come on my show and he was talking about, you know, special uh lawyers and advocates and the importance of keeping it kid focused to make sure that really the benefit is for the kids, right? And understanding that even though, you know, the school may have a different agenda, right? And the example he used is, you know, the school wants to run smoothly as their main goal. Thing is, you know, and he brought this point up, well, but that's not my goal, right? My goal is to have these services. So just finding ways to work together and come to a middle ground, you know, to ensure that services are made while also acknowledging and respecting a smoothly run school.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

Absolutely. That's always in the in the best benefit of the student. I agree.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

What have you noticed in your years of advocating for students and parents? What things have particularly stood out to you? What instances have stood out to you?

SPEAKER_02 27:28

Well, you know, I work with so many different types of students and families from preschool to adult transition to gen ed students with services, to students who are in um self-contained classrooms, to behavior programs. And the one commonality that I find, so when a family finally decides, like, okay, we need to bring an advocate in because we're not getting anywhere, we've had three IEP meetings and we're still not ready to sign the IEP, we need an advocate. The one commonality

The Real Cause Of IEP Conflict

SPEAKER_02 28:04

is a breakdown of communication. I always find that. And it's either parents don't feel like they're being heard, and schools sometimes don't understand that although they are in IEP meetings, if not daily, weekly, and it it becomes almost kind of routine. This is brand new for parents. It's like a foreign language, the acronyms, the language, the complexity of a 50-page legally binding document that is an IEP, that the communication is usually broken down. And so what I try to do, and I try to do is I use a mediation style of advocacy, and I, you know, I of course review documents, I speak to the clients, and I try to bring the two parties together to really have that open communication, making sure parents are being heard and they're explaining, right? Sometimes parents they have an issue, but they don't even know how to put it in words, right? So I can help them with that piece, kind of the language to use in an IEP meeting. Um, but it's it's usually communication.

SPEAKER_01 29:19

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 29:20

Just as the commonality between any client.

SPEAKER_01 29:24

Right. So mainly what you've noticed is the common theme you've seen is people having needs but not necessarily knowing the language behind it or how to express it.

SPEAKER_02 29:35

I I do on the parent side, and then the school side, maybe, maybe not taking that step back and really being student-centered or really explaining the process to parents, right? I was in an IEP meeting recently, and the team, this is a this was a kindergartner, so a young kiddo, parents were new to all this, and the team said, Well, we don't understand why you brought an advocate and you have issues because you consented to the IEP. And the parents said, Well, we thought we had to. And they said, Well, no. And they said, Well, how would we have known that? You gave us this piece of paper and you said sign here, and so we did. And parents had just never been educated or informed that they don't have to consent, or they can consent only to implementation, or with exceptions to whatever they don't agree with. So it's a breakdown of that communication or just giving the information to parents.

SPEAKER_01 30:34

Is there any particular case that stands out to you that was a particular challenge for you?

SPEAKER_02 30:40

Oh, many. I unfortunately over the years, I feel that more and more of my cases become litigious. And that's unfortunate. Um but it's the truth. Um but yeah, yeah, there's there's quite a few. Yeah. More so now. I feel like they've become more complicated, um, kind of more involved, and maybe feeling more of a pushback from districts, right? Like not agreeing to certain services or supports and instead sending prior written notice and saying no.

SPEAKER_01 31:28

That must be very just disheartening to just see, you know, a lot of this tension and have it and how it has to escalate to the next level of being litigious when really things could have just been resolved if more collaboration was in place.

SPEAKER_02 31:45

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 31:48

And I from what I understand about those that do end up in litigation, uh, most of it gets settled through mediation, if I'm not mistaken.

SPEAKER_02 31:58

What I hear from attorneys is it's it's um actually not very common at all that it would ever go to a hearing, but yeah, typically mediation or in a resolution session, I guess. But I'm not really privy to any of that. And I always tell clients I I don't give legal advice as an advocate. So I refer I refer out to attorneys.

SPEAKER_01 32:17

Sure. Oh, absolutely, absolutely. No, because I remember I took courses because um I have a law degree, but I don't use it, of course. But um I'm a therapist now. But um, you know, I remember when I was taking training for special ed law, attended some lectures in New York, and um I learned so much, and I read through the book, you know, the different statutes and some cases, you know, that are big precedence that attorneys will use in order to advocate. But a lot of this is also, you know, they have a lot of things where it's just there's a lot of hoops, I feel, like even before you get to a full-out suit. This is one thing, depending on your jurisdiction, where you live. At that time when I was um getting into special ed law, I was living in New York. Okay. And that was a different, much different system than it would be, let's say, you know, in Chicago, for example. Now I'm back in Chicago, you know, moved back in 2016. But, you know, it's it's very eye-opening, just just the amount of detail.

SPEAKER_02 33:35

Absolutely. And, you know, going back, I know you said, are there any kind of cases that stand out? And not so much like an individual case, but what I'm seeing more and more is students who are either late elementary school, so like fifth grade or even middle school. I recently was working with a seventh grader who just never had appropriate reading intervention. They did not learn right the science of reading. They did not learn decoding and phonemic awareness. And now maybe they're in middle school and they are having difficulty accessing grade level curriculum in science, in social studies, because they didn't have that early reading. And that that's one of the really difficult things that um, you know, when it's that late, schools really just don't provide that kind of reading instruction later

Reading Intervention Gaps In Older Kids

SPEAKER_02 34:30

on. So that I'm referring to attorneys, I think, in that area more than ever, right? To try to get them some outside um reading instruction that they should have gotten early on.

SPEAKER_01 34:42

Hmm. Yes, and it even the process of reading, the different levels that you people learn in how to read with first sounding out words, then just reading out loud a sentence, practicing just reading out loud to see how they go together, then finally reading to comprehend and perspective taking and understanding a protagonist versus antagonist, things like that. Just very multi-layered, it's very complex. Right. Yeah. Right. It is. Speaking of reading, you have written a book uniquely fully enough. So tell me about your book.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

Yeah, I you know, I I'll start by saying I really never aspired to write a book, but in 2025, I just thought that I speak to so many parents and I share a lot of advocacy and parenting advice that gosh, maybe maybe I should start putting my thoughts down on paper. And I ended up writing a book. So it's I write it, it's real, it's raw, it's definitely authentic. I try to add a little humor in there, but it's called Uniquely Fully Enough: The Neurodivergent Parenting Journey, a memoir and handbook. And each chapter starts with a story, starting when Luke was a baby, or even before he was born,

Writing A Memoir Handbook For Parents

SPEAKER_02 36:05

up through um adulthood. We conserved Luke. He will be transitioning out of school and into a day program in the next coming months. So each chapter starts with a story and it ends with what I call a love lesson from a mom. So some practical tips, what I took from that season in life, and I what I wish somebody could have shared with me early on. Um, so it's kind of the book that I wish I had when Luke was very young. Um, and I just don't see a lot of books like there, like this out there. I see memoirs and I see books that are more clinical in nature, but this is kind of like a story and some practical tips for parents. And I really try to reach all parents. Like Luke is an anomaly, right? But then I have Everett, which is a little bit more probably parents, you know, with ADHD. It might reach more parents. So I really try to apply my tips or my lessons to um a wide range of neurodiverse individuals.

SPEAKER_01 37:12

And what would you say out of the book that you've written, what would you say is one major tip that stands out that you give back to parents?

SPEAKER_02 37:25

Find your village. It's so important to connect with other people and find your village in school, outside of school. If you are looking for some extracurricular activities, talk to other parents. If you feel that something isn't going on at school, connect to other parents, right? Find those people. And even for parents or caregivers of our loved ones who are neurodiverse, find your village for your own sake, right? You need a break sometimes. I mean, taking care of Luke, I love that kid more than anything, but it's hard, right? And that's another point of my book. Like, it's okay to say it's hard. Sometimes I have days where I'm just burnt out with the caregiving because Luke needs help with just about everything he does. And it's okay to admit that, and it's okay to need some respite. So find the people that are your village at school and outside of school. And I try to reach every parent, like the single parent, a parent with limited resources, right? There's always ways that you can find people. Maybe you're trading um, you know, errands for some child care, whatever it is, but don't do it alone. Find find your support system.

SPEAKER_01 38:50

How would people go about? Let's say somebody is out there and they don't even know where to begin to even look for their village. What would be like great starting points?

SPEAKER_02 39:01

Yeah, I would, I would see if um maybe start with your school's like PTA. Um they may or may not have a special education um presence, but maybe start there. Go to your local. I know out here in California, like we have like they're like local planning areas for special education, and they usually consist of a number of school districts. It's a Celpa, S-E-L-P-A. Reach out to them, connect with other parents. Little things like if you're dropping your child off at school and you happen to know maybe there's some other parents there who have students with IEPs, or if your child's in a special education classroom, meet some of those other parents, talk to them, ask them some of the questions. Um, I think starting, you know, at school, if your child gets outside speech or occupational therapy, ask those providers. I mean, people are often more connected than you think, right? It's kind of a small world. So talk to as many people as you possibly can.

SPEAKER_01 40:10

You know, there was a saying that I heard uh it says everybody knows someone who knows someone, right? At the end of the day.

SPEAKER_02 40:17

Mm-hmm. Yeah, definitely. So if you're, you know, if if you're looking for a certain activity or a certain therapist, talk to as many people as you can. And that includes your teachers and, you know, people who are supporting your student at school.

SPEAKER_01 40:36

Right. Yeah, no, that's really that's a great suggestion and a great tip for people who really need that helping, extra helping hand, and where do I even begin to navigate and look for a village?

SPEAKER_02 40:48

It's overwhelming. I mean, it really can be because now it's and I've been there. I so I do. I speak from like I have been there like early on. Like I'm trying to balance like school and doctor's appointments and therapies and specialists and early intervention. And now you're telling me I'm supposed to like network, but even so I I met a handful of parents who I still keep in touch with most of them today. Our earlier intervention program at school had like, I think they called it like a parent and me group on Wednesday mornings, and you bring your child, and then they have child care in the room next door. And a social worker from the school district let a parent group find parent groups in your school district. Um, you'll you'll meet a lot of people who know a lot and know a lot of other people. So to your point.

SPEAKER_01 41:39

Yes, absolutely. Well, Vicky, where can people find you?

SPEAKER_02 41:45

So my website, it's blueglassesadvocacy.com, Vicky Christensen. You could even Google me and I'll come up. And then um, I'm also I have a presence on Instagram and it's Blue Glasses Advocacy. So you can follow me on Instagram. I try to do a lot of um just advocacy tips, kind of giving like my experiences and IEP meetings, giving tips to parents. And then um, if you're interested in my book, um my book is on Amazon, it's actually being released March 16th. So it's almost available on um Amazon.

SPEAKER_01 42:23

Oh well, congratulations on the book release. And thank you. Um we're looking forward to reading your book,

Finding Your Village And Next Steps

SPEAKER_01 42:30

getting a hold of it, and um I encourage everyone to check check out that book uniquely fully enough, and to uh check out Vicky Christensen uh and the blue glasses advocacy. And with that, this wraps up today's episode. So thank you, Vicky, for being on here and sharing your knowledge and sharing your suggestions to people, as I think many of us would find that very useful, whether it's advising clients or uh people who have kids, you know, who are in special needs and this is they're just starting to navigate the system or are in the system and are looking for another way. You know, I think this is very useful. And uh remember, uh, listeners, if you enjoyed what you heard today, rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast. And I'm looking forward to bringing you more episodes. So thank you.

SPEAKER_02 43:34

Thank you, Sonia, for having me.