Bringing Joy to Tough Sales Days with Vicki J O'Grady-Longo

Vicky Joy Kindler

Speaker: [00:00:00] I am ready. Are you good, talk to me Vicki. You just came on my LinkedIn post, uh, recently. I had to get you on video because number one, you're absolutely amazing. You bring the joy every day, and we're just talking about, on my post, I was talking about relationship selling, and then you went into about bringing joy every day, and I asked.

Do you ever have down days or down moments? And that's what I wanted to talk about. And today you just said, sometimes I just wanna let it all go and go take a backpack somewhere. So Vicki, how do you do it? 

Vicki: I don't know. I just have this, this well of resiliency and I just keep persevering and I just know how important it's to serve other people.

So, you know, we were joking around earlier and I was telling you that I just, some days like. So many people just need someone else to [00:01:00] spark them. And when you're in service of other people, it's a calling, but it's also an art and a craft, and it's training and it's development and it's years of just.

Caring more about people. Sometimes probably to like the own detriment of myself. I have been off balance a lot. Like I do serve other people most days more than I serve myself. But that's coming back around, you know, when you're in the sunset of your career, you start to realize, you know, it's, it is okay to take vacations as it is okay to tap out.

But, um, you know, one of the things I was telling you was, you know, I just go out there every day and some days I just don't have it. 

Speaker 3: But 

Speaker 2: somehow some way I know that if I'm going to walk into an office and I'm gonna try to connect with people, I better figure it out because it's the legacy that I leave.

So if you walk like it's your intention. So we talked about relationships. All people want in [00:02:00] life is to be loved, basically, right? And that's a big thing in corporate America. We don't say we love each other, but I told you my bio, my professional bio starts with I love people exclamation point. So alien as that may be to some people.

I don't know how you could sell anything if you don't love people. Then you have to understand that people wanna be remembered, connected, and celebrated. So I make sure that I take notes. You know, I had a physician tell me yesterday that his mother died of colon cancer when he was five months old. He served in the army.

He was a gastroenterologist in the army, and that's the reason why he's so passionate about gastroenterology, like stories, connecting with people. I have so much dignity when I walk into offices. I feel so esteemed and empowered and. Proud of being a salesperson, but some people don't feel that. So if you get a sales job and you present yourself in a [00:03:00] way, other than that, how do you expect to sell anything?

You know, I mean, I take notes, I dig in, I read their LinkedIn bios. I go in out and Google and see what they've written, what they've published, what organizations they belong to, and before I ever even talk about my product, I talk about them. I believe it or not, I do talk less. Um, and I've learned to listen.

And the listening skill is probably the greatest part of a sales leader. And also intuition and body language and pacing, making sure you understand what people you know. And the other thing is if your client isn't engaged, don't talk. Because I am not gonna go into an office and have somebody read their computer or look at their phone while I'm trying to connect with them.

And that's the power of the pause. And you have to make people engage. So if you do all those things, then you're walking in with a basket, a toolbox [00:04:00] of ways to sell with dignity and give people dignity to receive what it is that you're offering, but you're not really selling anything. You're actually serving.

Hmm. 

Speaker: So good. You're, I, I just love your approach. Uh, you know, you, you downplay it, you know, you, you bring the joy. Yeah. And you mentioned how you slowing down into doing more listening, but I'm just thinking, how did this doctor tell you this story? 

Speaker 3: Yeah. I asked 

Speaker: you. Yeah. You asked, right? And then you pause enough to make it about them.

Yes. So that they feel comfortable in telling you the story. 

Speaker 3: Yeah, 

Speaker: so there's, there's a lot of skills involved there. The emotional intelligence, the, the fact that you, the power of the pause, looking at people to see if they're paying attention and you know, you're not wasting your breath when someone is not giving you the time of day, which also is good for your own self-respect and self-worth.

Uh, [00:05:00] lots of good there. I think one of the things that you mentioned, uh, in this post you said. 99% of the time, I realize it's not about me, but you still ask the question, which is. Was it me? Yeah. So do you still do that periodically? Yes. Do you just kind of self check 

Speaker 2: on that every day? Every day, every call.

When I leave a practice, you know, I see anywhere from 10 to 17 physicians a day. 'cause I'm in pharmaceutical sales, but I've sold other things too. I've. I had a, a time in my life where I sold scrapbooking supplies, uh, for 19 years. I had a time in my life where I sold Crystal China flatware and cookware in college, and that's where I really learned how to sell 'cause I was cold calling.

Mm-hmm. At least, you know, at least now I'm in what they call warm calling. But I am in a brand new division. I am in a brand new role and I'm meeting all new physicians and it's a new disease state for me. So after, you know, 13 and a half years of being. [00:06:00] In one position. I recently was moved to a new position, so Wow.

Yeah, you gotta start over, right? Yeah. So how do you start over? So every time I don't feel that connection. I come out of the practice or you know, I'm working in New York City, I don't have a car to go sit in and reflect. So it's usually sidewalk talk to myself as I'm walking to the next Subway bus, you know, or getting in a cab.

But I do actually think to myself, what did I say? How did I present myself? Was I hurried? Was I in a rush because I thought the doctor was in a rush. Um, what were my assumptions? And now that I've left the practice, what did I leave them to savor? Is there something they're gonna remember that I said, will they feel connected to me?

Uh. Do I need to go at it again? And honestly, it takes seven times for somebody to remember anything that you say. So for me, that first impression is, you know, do I look the part, do I sound the part, have I done my homework enough? And I'll be honest with you, sometimes I [00:07:00] don't do my homework and I could be caught, you know?

And, and, and now. Because I have like menopause brain, I can't even remember who they were from the last visit. You know, I've been calling on the same people for 13 years now. I've got this doctor and that doctor, and this nurse and that practice manager, and it's very fluid. People change a lot. And some people actually morph with their hairstyles.

So, you know, I write down, I keep a journal. If I lost my journal I'd be dead. But I actually, you know, take notes about something they've said to me so that when I go back in the next time I have a call continuum and I can re and I can go back to the conversation. And, you know, let's be honest, people don't have time.

Doctors are more stressed out than ever. They've got a quota. They have a certain number of minutes to see each patient. They have no downtime between their patients. They have to chart, take notes. They have to diagnose, they have to treat, what am I doing there, right? Am I interrupting the flow and making [00:08:00] their day longer?

Am I bringing them maybe a cup of coffee and having a conversation with them for three minutes and giving them a little break? Am I bringing them joy or am I bringing them aggravation? 

Speaker: Yeah. You, you know, I mean yeah, you, you, you just, uh, when you talk about like bringing value, right? So the seven times, you know, to just for someone to remember what you said and looking the parts, so there's all of these little nuances Yeah.

That most people don't think about. So, yeah. And in sales, I'm telling you, someone pointed out a long time ago that my shoes needed to be polished. 

Speaker 3: Yeah. 

Speaker: Right. That was my mom. Years later when I got into sales, when I heard women point out that men who did polish their shoes, it's like, I gotta make sure my shoes look good.

I mean, it's a simple thing, right? Do we look. The part we look like we cared, we look like we pay attention to the details. Yeah. Yeah. And if we [00:09:00] don't, then uh, someone's gonna make a decision that maybe this person isn't as valuable for me to go out and give them three minutes of my time. Yeah. I'll give those three minutes to someone else like Vicki.

Speaker 2: Yeah. 

Speaker: So great stuff. True, 

Speaker 2: true. You have to be, you have to become the most favored person in the office, and that means you sell wall to wall. That means when you walk into an office, you don't go to the front desk or this can go for any client too, right? Yeah. Love it. You don't, you don't bypass the receptionist.

You don't bypass that person. That's the person, that's the gatekeeper. That's the person you have to first build the relationship with because they will invite you and introduce you to meet other people. You don't just walk in and expect to see the Wizard of Oz, you know? And the Wizard of Oz is earned the right to close the curtain.

You know, and I say it all the time, that you have to actually go in there with purpose. You have to go in there with empathy and determination. You have to understand that the sale starts at [00:10:00] no. If it was easy, everybody would do it. It's, it takes a hundred nos to get one. Yes. Sometimes, you know, I play a game sometimes with myself, like, who can I get to?

Yes. And then my sales process has multiple layers. It isn't like I teach and tell something and then the doctor says yes and the patient gets on medication. There's a whole process to it. Right. The doctor could wanna put the patient on a medication, but I've got a whole. Access issue. Mm. Yeah. Insurance issues like, you know, it's funny, Harry.

'cause like when I'm talking to you right now, it's like when I train other reps or when I train people saying my job out loud. I say sometimes to my husband, do you know what it's like to be in my brain? Because I don't realize how many Rolodex things. People don't even know what Rolodex anymore is, but like I feel like I'm flipping index cards.

There are probably 150 things I do before I walk into an office. That when I have to tell [00:11:00] that to another rep, what you need to do to be prepared for this call, and that's just one call of 17 this day. And then what's your follow up like? Sometimes I say it out loud and I'm like, oh my God. Like no wonder I'm exhausted and I don't wanna talk on the phone anymore.

Right, 

Speaker: right. It's not menopause brain. I think it's just the fact that you have so much going Yes. On 

Speaker 3: Yes. That 

Speaker: it's, it's not even, I mean. You know, it's, it's no crime to forget somebody's name. Yes. Because I I do it all the time. Yeah. And I'm not blaming age. I'm blaming the fact that we, we've got 8,000 things coming at us every minute, so.

All right. So one last question. Um, and as it has to do with, uh, when you down 

Speaker 3: mm-hmm. 

Speaker: You know that you're not feeling it for that day. I mean, it could be. I saw something in a text about a gloomy day. Sometimes in the Northeast, they're gloomy months. They just don't end. We never see the sun up there [00:12:00] sometimes.

What keeps you. From just being sulking and grouchy. When you're meeting people, what goes through your mind where you could say, I can bring joy to this person, even though I'm not feeling it. What do you do? 

Speaker 2: I get an acet of gratitude, and I remember my why. So I started a practice about, I don't know, maybe 17 or 20 years ago where I woke up in the morning with intention.

Well, I went to sleep with intention. So as I fall asleep at night, and I learned this from other people, so not taking credit for it, but you lay in bed as you fall asleep and you say to yourself, all of the wonderful things, the high points of your day. The things that you've achieved. And then you say, and tomorrow I'm gonna start off in a better place.

So when I wake up in the morning, the very first second that I recognize that I'm alive. I take a deep breath before I even [00:13:00] put my feet on the ground, and I thank God that I'm alive and that I have another day to serve and that he would expand my boundaries and that I would be an instrument of his love, that his joy would be shown through me to other people, that they would feel warmed up.

They would come into my circle and feel special because I crossed their path. Then I get in the car and people cut me off. Give me the finger, yell at me. Uh, I sit in traffic. I drive 11 miles into New York City every day. It can take me up to two hours. Oh, so guess, guess what though? That's either an opportunity for me to listen to another Bible study, a book on tape, or a podcast, or I can sit there and moan and groan, right?

I can step on my break and let people cut me off and pray for them. It is a perspective and a mind shift, and I wasn't always like this. Matter of fact, I didn't know how to not blame other people. I [00:14:00] learned how to take responsibility for my own attitude, my own actions, my own behaviors, and my own intentions.

And that is how I set the stage for life. Because it is about me. I am the only person that I control and can change. And the people who come in my path, thank you for the opportunity to learn that it's probably not about me. And some people are carrying things that we don't know, and in the world that I'm in.

I'd say 90% of the people I encounter every day are in pain, physical pain. And when you see people in a grocery store that are moving slowly, maybe they have rheumatoid arthritis and they're not in your way, you are in their way. Maybe when you see somebody that's in a bathroom for 10 minutes in a Starbucks and you gotta get in there, maybe that person has irritable bowel syndrome and they can't get out.

They don't wanna be in the bathroom, but they can't leave the bathroom. So I just have this overwhelming sense of empathy and also I read [00:15:00] people very well, so I just give people grace and mercy. Grace and mercy. I mean, and the hardest people to practice with is our own frigging family, right? I mean, uh, my husband calls me out every single day, is like, okay, joy Kindler.

He's like, you're demoted, chief Joy officer. You know, I say it all the time, like, he'll catch, he goes, oh, that was on page 1 0 1 of your joy handbook. Like, it's just really great to have people reflect back to you when you're being a jerk. Like, 

Speaker: oh, oh my goodness. 

Speaker 2: Yeah, I, I'm authentic because I'm telling you the truth.

I am not, uh, I am not. A hundred percent joyful. I'm probably like 90%. 

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah, you do. You could do great. And you set the bar very nicely and I love your humility that you can share this with us. And you know, I was like, 'cause I'm looking at you and I get these texts every day and it is like. How does this woman do this?

It is like, are you kidding me? It is like, there is no way I could do what you do, because it's just, I [00:16:00] mean, you're, you're special. Let's just leave it at that. But the whole thing on gratitude, uh, reflecting on the day. Reflecting on the day as you go to sleep. Thank you, God, when you wake up in the morning, you know?

Speaker 3: Yeah. 

Speaker: And then the fact that you've made some adjustments over the years. I used to sit in traffic and complain myself, and then it's like, well, why not? Take advantage of the time. Yeah. And put something positive in my mind instead of griping and other drivers. So 

Speaker 2: yeah, 

Speaker: lots of great stuff there. Just be 

Speaker 2: thankful.

Just be thankful, Harry. Like I just tell people all the time, you can be, you know. I heard a statement lately that's really moved me, and I hear it in my head all the time. I'm so aware of our heartbeats. We're on, they're numbered. You know, life is a debit card. 

Speaker: Yeah. 

Speaker 2: Somebody said to me, there's no U-Haul behind a hearse.

Right. Never heard that before, but I thought to myself, all the stuff, all the things we strive to accomplish. What do I want people to say? I live my life for my eulogy. [00:17:00] God rest his soul. Bruce Van Horn was a coach of mine and he had a podcast called, life is a Marathon. And in the nineties I got to be coached by him and he had me write two letters.

The first letter was me actually writing my eulogy. Wow. Loose 

Speaker: bumps. 

Speaker 2: Yeah. God bumps I call 'em. Yeah, right. Okay. And then the second, of course 

Speaker: you do. 

Speaker 2: Yeah. And then the second letters, it was actually two letters. One was from John and one was from Kelsey. You have to write a letter to yourself from your husband and your children of what you would want them to say on your deathbed.

Well, let me tell you something. Geez, I'll be the first person to tell you that I've probably broken most of my vows. I've probably don't live by the 10 Commandments every day. But when you write that down, what you want people to say about you at the end of your life, what could be more impactful to drive you to live your life that way every day if you are being true to yourself, right?

Yeah. So when I [00:18:00] want to be remembered in a way. I go back to those letters sometimes I kind of review them every year. I don't do New Year's intentions. I have a word of the year. The word of the year helps me determine how I make decisions. You know, my word this year was surrendered. I had to surrender to losing my dad.

I had to surrender to job changes. You have, you either surrender or you succumb. Right, and you're either influenced or you're infected. So I try not to infect people. I try to influence them, and I try to empower people and look for the shiny eyes Every day. I try to find the people who I can see the mirror into their soul, and I can, I can connect with them and help them know that life can be better, even when it doesn't feel like it is.

Because if you're a salesperson, it's a very lonely world sometimes, and you've gotta make. You've gotta make your own Your own tribe. 

Speaker 3: Yeah. So 

Speaker 2: find the clients that do embrace you. Go back and visit them often. [00:19:00] The power of the handwritten note. Write a thank you note that seals the deal. No one writes thank you notes anymore.

Every single one of my clients gets a handwritten thank you note and they also get an I'm grateful for you card that Kevin Monroe started this movement five years ago. It's just a simple card. We're right here. Hang on. 

Speaker: She's got it. She's looking for it. 

Speaker 2: I have them. They're in my wallet at all times.

Speaker: Yeah, 

Speaker 2: you get a great, I'm 

Speaker: grateful for you. 

Speaker 2: With a little note on the back, you can get these cards and I'm grateful for you.co. It's like 12 bucks. Okay. And everybody gets one of these notes at least once for me, and I just try to make sure that. I don't, I don't practice gratitude. I am grateful. Mm. Yeah.

And there's a big difference. I don't have to write down three things a day that I'm grateful for because I'm grateful all the time. 

Speaker 3: Yeah. 

Speaker 2: And I think that that's what changes people's [00:20:00] lives. And if you sell from all of these perspectives that we've spoken about, you're more than dignified. You're delivering value.

And that's why I love your mission field and that's why I love the things that you talk about, Harry. And thank you for impacting me. 

Speaker: Well, thank you for jumping on this, uh, quick video podcast. You're the best. You bring so much value, Vicki. It like when I get a chance to speak with you face to face, it's just, I know, it's just a blessing.

So I'm grateful for you, my friend. Thank you. And you have, uh, rest of the holiday season make it awesome and, uh, we appreciate you.