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Hello everyone.
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Just imagine how much power it is when you open your mouth and you share your truth, you share your story.
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Imagine how inspired you got when you heard somebody else share their story and think about a time that you got helped simply by somebody being vulnerable and opening up With us.
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Today we have Wendy Babcock, who is the founder of WEN Stories, which is a platform for people to be vulnerable and share their stories, and, apart from being an amazing person overall and a founder of One Stories, she recently won the Independent Music Awards in Hollywood.
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So, without further ado, wendy, welcome here.
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Thank you so much.
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I'm just excited to be here and have this conversation with you.
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I love your podcast.
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Thank you, thank you, and I love you too, wendy.
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I love Wendt Stories as well.
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So tell us a little bit about your you know.
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How did this come to be that you were able to found such a big thing?
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You know that has, you know, increased in popularity over the years, has increased in visibility.
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You know, and you have, you know, even big time personnel, people coming into and sharing with you, um, or making appearances to be supporting your events.
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Um, how, how did this all come to be.
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So it's.
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It's been pieces at a time, honestly.
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So I've been a professional speaker since 2017.
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And I mainly spoke on the Complaint-Free World message, and so that's through Will Bowen.
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I was a certified speaker through his program and so I was sharing his message.
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And after the pandemic for most of us right our business models all changed.
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My speaking engagements were going away.
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You know I prefer in-person speaking over virtual.
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Virtual is fine, but I like in-person.
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So I was trying to kind of reinvent myself, like what do I want to be when I grow up if I'm not going to be out speaking so much?
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And so, push comes to shove, I started coaching other speakers on how to get on stages and get paid to speak, and in that process I have met some really incredible people.
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You know I worked with a former NFL player.
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I worked with a 1971 Miss America contestant.
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You know I've had a chance to really connect with some cool people.
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But their stories so, like the NFL player, his story is not about playing in the NFL.
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His story is about complex PTSD and his life's journey, and even with my other clients, it wasn't about the big things they've achieved, it's all the stuff that led up to it.
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And what I found was, as I was talking to them, most entrepreneurs are asked the question what's your why?
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Why do you do business?
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Why do you keep going that sort of thing?
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And I found I kept asking my clients well, when did everything change for you?
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I wanted to know that pivotal moment in their lives.
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When was the big change?
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When did you decide to get into business?
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When did your life shift?
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And you took a different path.
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And that just opens up more stories Like, oh, I've got several of those they would say and I kept thinking about this one.
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So that became kind of my thing.
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I always asked the one moment.
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But then clients would say things like oh, I really need to do a TEDx.
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Like, okay, a TEDx is great, I've done one myself.
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I love the platform about ideas worth sharing.
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And I would say, well, what's your idea worth sharing?
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They're I don't know, I'm not sure Like, okay, well, you need to have a good idea worth sharing first to do a TEDx.
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And I said I wish there was, you know, a platform around to tell your story, because your story is phenomenal.
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You have that all day long.
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And I would ask them well, why do you want to do a TEDx?
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And they, well, because of the credibility that comes with it.
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Right, being on that stage just levels you up.
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I'm like, of course.
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And so that's when I got the idea.
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I'm like, well, I wish that was how I said it.
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I wish somebody would create a TEDx stage for storytelling.
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And the more I said that, the more I'm like well, why don't I do that?
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I love creating events, you know, and I love storytelling.
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And so I had this idea pop up and I was working with a marketing coach at the time and I was building my coaching business, right, and I brought this idea to her, like, I think I want to do this.
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I want to create this TEDx stage.
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It's going to be really great for visibility.
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It's going to be a theater stage, not you know, just a step and repeat banner in a cold conference room.
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It's good, it's got to have like great optics.
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And she said that's a good idea.
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She's like but, wendy, I feel like you're going to split your audience with marketing.
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Of course you want to have a for sure audience because you're really building up your coaching business.
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You're doing well, I think this is the wrong path and I was crushed.
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I remember getting off that call and I knew she was giving me good advice.
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But I was also like I love this idea.
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There's something about this I'm drawn to.
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And so I sat on this idea for a year and it kept eating at me and I thought about what she said about splitting my audience.
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And so I I kept thinking, okay, well, how can I make this work for my audience, for my clients, right, what are they really wanting in their speaking careers?
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And so anyone who's listening, if you're a speaker, you know there's certain assets in the business that help you get seen more.
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Right, you get on podcasts, right, you write a book, that's, that's great leverage if you're getting paid to speak.
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And the 10 X right, the visibility, like in a big way.
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And so I thought, well, what if I just packaged all of that into one program?
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Right, I will coach people, because that's what I love to do.
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I love coaching story.
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That's like my.
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That lights me up.
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I love stories.
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And so I built this thing behind the scenes and I didn't tell my coach, I didn't tell my marketing coach and like I'm just, I'm going to, I'm going to launch this thing.
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I host a women's event annually.
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I'm like I'm going to, I'm going to launch this at my women's event.
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And so about a week before my event, my marketing coach and I were having a call and she's like, well, all right, what's your offer?
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From the stage Because that was what she had coached me on.
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I'm like you know, that thing you told me not to do.
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Well, I built it to this big old monster of a program and I'm launching it.
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And she, okay, tell me about it.
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You know.
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So I told her she's like, all right, okay, now this serves your audience.
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Yeah, and I filled the first cohort of one stories and it it's just been the thing that has really lit me up in my life and business.
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It's, it's been pretty, pretty amazing that's an incredible story and a journey in and of itself.
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And you know it's funny the way things work right, that you know sometimes you don't realize what your passion is or what your purpose is until something else comes in the way.
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And I feel like in your case, even though, yes, we were in a tumultuous time and it was, of course, a very bad situation for the world, but COVID really helped kick that in to play for you and help you know you, redirect and redefine your purpose.
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Yeah, 100%.
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And what's interesting about it is so, you know, you mentioned I got the award for songwriting and I've been a songwriter since I was probably 11 years old, right so.
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But it was always separate from everything I've ever done, whether I was working full time at the hospital or when I started speaking.
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I pretty much stopped 11 years old, right so, but it was always separate from everything I've ever done, whether I was working full time at the hospital or when I started speaking.
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I pretty much stopped writing, not on purpose, I just was too busy, and so I was never able to kind of marry the songwriting with what I was doing, because I didn't see the commonalities until One Stories, until I realized songwriting is storytelling, right, one Stories is storytelling.
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And so, as I was building One Stories, I had decided I was going to write the theme song for my women's event, and so that kind of kicked me back into gear with songwriting again, because I hadn't done it for probably six, seven years.
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And it's like both things, like the one big passion in my life was storytelling with songwriting.
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Right, that's my creative genius, right, that's what I love to do.
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But also I'm neurodivergent, right.
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So with me, someone tells me I have to walk one path and I can only serve this audience and do this one thing and be really niched down.
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I struggle because I am all over the place with brand new ideas and new shiny things and I can't sit still.
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And so when I started songwriting again, it was like that served my creative brain.
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It was like it was like being able to feed that, so I wasn't searching for the new shiny object anymore, so I could really focus on my business, you know, and it was like everything kind of fell into place and I'm like this makes one stories make sense to me, it's, it's storytelling, and now it goes with my songwriting, so I felt like it just married those two worlds.
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That I kind of feel whole now, if that makes sense, mm, hmm, yes, and you know, if you think about it, though, too, songwriting is just really another avenue for storytelling.
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Yeah, you know, if you think about it, it's just in a different form, and some of the greatest songs out there are songs that have a story, where you actually can clearly hear the story behind it.
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You can hear, like, the journey, the emotions, the events, right.
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Some of those greatest songs kind of convey those messages.
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Yeah, yeah, they convey those messages.
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Yeah, yeah, it sparks.
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They spark emotion, and when I write songs, what I like to do not in all of my songs, but a lot of times I like to create almost a double meaning.
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So that can mean two different things for people, you know.
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I mean I recently wrote a song called Two-Sided Mirror and it's geared towards people who are struggling with mental health issues on both sides of the mirror.
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So a two-sided mirror, like when you're in a dressing room, right, Like on the other side of that mirror, I picture like almost a dark room or almost like a dark closet where the person who's struggling is sitting behind there they can see out, but they can't get there right, they're kind of on the darker side and they want to reach out, they want to, but they can't seem to where the person who's on like in, like the dressing room side, the bright side, right, they can't see the person.
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So I feel like people who have struggled with mental illness aren't always seen fully, and so it's kind of that metaphor where the person's looking in the mirror and they can see their own reflection, because we always channel, you know, our own experiences through our eyes to try and identify with somebody else, and so we can't always connect that way, but we both want to reach each other and so that's what that song was about.
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But also, at the same time, after I wrote it and you know, all the music came together and I listened to it.
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I'm like this is also a metaphor for people who have lost somebody.
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This is almost like trying to reach on the other side of that thin veil of somebody that we've lost.
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So I like writing where it can have a dual meaning, so whoever's listening to it, either they can identify with the person struggling or the person who's dealing with somebody struggling and trying to reach them and connect.
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So that's my favorite form of writing.
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And that song.
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In and of itself, the way you describe it, it sounds like it's a very powerful song and definitely one that sparked even emotions in me when I heard you describe it.
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And so many people struggle with mental health especially when did you find out you were neurodivergent?
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How did that come into being?
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Oh, gosh, yeah, so it's funny that come into being.
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Oh gosh, yeah, so it's funny like and I think anyone who who realizes their neurodivergent once they have kind of light bulb come on and you realize what it is you go back and you're like, oh, oh, like I had all these moments flashback like that explains so much and I think honestly it's.
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It's been kind of pieces coming to me.
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Some of it was through my daughter.
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So I have a daughter who struggles with mental health.
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She actually did a one story she was one of the first one stories on my women's stage and she talked about her mental health journey and you know how art helped her and we've always known that Jennifer probably was somewhere on the spectrum.
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She's never been tested but you know we knew she struggled with some ADHD and those things.
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But also she's had a lot of really hard life experiences that have, you know, added to her diagnosis and she shares openly so she won't mind me saying, but you know she's borderline personality disorder, so she's had trauma in her past.
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That that's what that stems from.
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And I remember one time she was really at a low and her and I were on the phone for like hours and we were talking about her being on the spectrum.
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I said honey.
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I said you know, I know you've wanted to get tested.
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Maybe it's time.
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You know, sometimes that might just clear up a few things for you.
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And she agreed.
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And so what?
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When you're struggling like she is sometimes sometimes it's even just dialing the number on your phone is a huge roadblock.
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So you can tell someone oh, just make a therapy appointment.
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So there's a lot of steps.
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For somebody who's neurodivergent or on the spectrum, there's a lot of steps that have to happen before you make the phone call right.
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So anyways long story short, that night I said, jennifer and actually I think it was you or it might have been Kristen, who I, who also is a therapist for neurodivergence and autism, had given me these quizzes to take.
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And I said, jennifer, let's do these together, let's just see, you know.
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And I get it's not, it's not a formal diagnosis and all that, but I'm like we'll just take it together.
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And at that point I had never really considered myself.
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I knew I was probably ADHD, but I'm like I didn't think I was on the spectrum at all.
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And so we took this together.
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We talked about every answer.
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We talked about it took us a long time to do this whole quiz and we got done and it tallied up the scores and I actually tested higher than she did on the spectrum.
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I'm like oh.
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And we both kind of had this aha moment around it because I'm like, oh, it was just like this whole like.
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It was almost like you know they say when you, when you like, when you pass away, you have like a life's like rewind and I felt like everything quickly came at me, like so many things suddenly made sense.
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You know it's hard to describe like always feeling like I was so different like life experiences that everybody else alongside me through high school was dealing with.
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It was just like such a different experience for me.
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I felt like why is this so weird for me?
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Why can't I just do the thing everybody else is doing?
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Why is it so, so different for me?
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And so it just it really opened the door for me to kind of dig in and do a little bit more research on it and take some more of those you know type of questionnaires that help you kind of sort through, kind of where you land, and I know they're not perfect, but that has helped me so much kind of embrace who I am and why I feel like why I've always felt so different.
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Yeah, I don't know.
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I can definitely empathize with that, because when I got diagnosed, when I was 20, with having what was formerly known as Asperger's syndrome, now it's just known as autism spectrum, it made a lot of sense for me as well, and I can definitely empathize with experiences being very, very different.
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I know, for me I didn't have any friends, so I was never really able to identify or empathize with people who were going through stuff when I was growing up, because I just didn't.
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I wasn't around it to really understand it, you know, and it kind of felt like I was.
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You know, I was just thinking of this.
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It feels like you're kind of you look at the solar system.
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You feel like you're basically a planet that's so much further away from the major planets, right?
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So it's like you kind of think that that's maybe where you're at in the orbit and and that's it.
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It's like a disconnect somehow and I feel like I've I never thought about and I think you'll understand this but like I, I live in my head, me too, I play things out in my head so much and I have like there's like a whole other world happening in there and I never had words for it, or I thought everybody else was like this.
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Like I feel very, very deeply, but I don't always show it on the outside and I never really realized that.
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And then when I kind of connected the dots, I'm like, oh yeah, like I feel so deeply like love and like attachment with people around me that like my husband but I'm not good at expressing it I'm like I feel like I come off cold sometimes, even though, yeah, it's, it's hard to describe sometimes.
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But just having that realization and that revelation like oh, this makes so much sense now, and even situations where I couldn't explain it either.
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I don't understand people who can pretend to be around people they don't.
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Like there is such a block for me.
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I can't even fake it.
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I just have to separate and I'll be pleasant, but I just I can't fake nice, and it's literally like a wall comes down and I can't and I can't go past that and it's hard to describe to somebody.
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They're like, so yeah, so these things.
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As I dug into it, I'm like, oh gosh, I'm very much about following rules.
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I never understood that either, but that's part of for me.
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Things like as dumb as it sounds.
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We recently we flew to Hollywood and coming back there was some turbulence and so they had the the seatbelt light on and people were getting up to go to the bathroom and I was so bothered by it and like they're going against the rules.
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Like they said you have to sit down, like the seatbelt lights on, like someone's going to get hurt.
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It was so bothered internally by it.
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I'm like how can they break the rule?
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I had to go to the bathroom.
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I'm like I'm not getting up.
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So like things like that kind of makes sense to me why I'm such a rule follower in that way.
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No, I completely understand and I definitely can empathize with living in your own head, but I feel like being neurodivergent is what gives us creativity.
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At the end of the day, this is what makes us creative, you know, and I feel like you know this is, you know, this is a great platform, right to kind of express you know, the get benefits and gifts that can come out of being neurodivergent and you know, and what makes us different is what also makes us different, excel in ways that we wouldn't probably be able to otherwise if we think about it right.
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So I feel like there's, you know, there's a positive spin to it, even though it's difficult now for you.
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You know, going back to kind of your, you know, like things that popped out for you, you said you had this, your, your life just kind of flashed before your eyes when you did these questionnaires that your friend who's a therapist suggested and you had things start to make sense for you.
00:18:44.231 --> 00:18:51.407
Anything in your life, did anything in your life particularly jump out at you when you were going through that?
00:18:53.611 --> 00:18:54.172
flashback.
00:18:54.172 --> 00:18:57.296
Yeah, I think it was relationships.
00:18:57.296 --> 00:19:31.388
I think that was kind of a big thing, that kind of lit up for me, because I'm like you know, I I'm trying to put this in the words, but because I had this realization of how much I live in my head and how much externally maybe I don't show, it made me become more present and more aware of my own self, like, okay, the people that are important to me, I need to show up a little bit differently and a little more on purpose, you know, and call people, because I've always been like, well, I'm not a phone person, but I am a phone person.
00:19:31.388 --> 00:19:35.866
When people call me, I will talk for hours, like my sister, my daughter, my aunt.
00:19:35.866 --> 00:19:38.131
When they call me, we literally talk for hours.
00:19:38.692 --> 00:19:41.545
I'm just not ever the one that initiates for the most part.
00:19:41.545 --> 00:19:47.762
But I started to change that and initiate the phone calls Because a lot of it was well, what if we don't have anything to talk about?
00:19:47.762 --> 00:19:48.683
But that's never happened.
00:19:48.683 --> 00:19:54.372
I've never made a phone call to somebody who I care about and we've never had anything to talk, didn't have anything to talk about.
00:19:54.372 --> 00:20:05.332
So it's making me try and show up more intentionally, you know, and live a little bit more outside my head, so that's a big positive that's come from this awareness.
00:20:05.392 --> 00:20:22.189
Now and when you think about relationships and you know the things that stood out for you in terms of relationships, how do you feel that impacts your?
00:20:22.189 --> 00:20:30.509
Impacts you in getting other people to be vulnerable and share their stories, as well as your songwriting?
00:20:30.509 --> 00:20:37.472
How do you feel, like you know, like the relationship, you know the relationships that have stood out for you being neurodivergent.
00:20:37.472 --> 00:20:42.490
You know how does that all come to play here?
00:20:43.401 --> 00:20:49.314
And I think with especially with the song I'll touch on the songwriting part too is my songwriting has shifted.
00:20:49.314 --> 00:20:54.285
So you know my story and I know you know some of my story coming from you know childhood and domestic abuse.
00:20:54.285 --> 00:20:56.547
You know my story and I know you know some of my story coming from you know childhood and domestic abuse.
00:20:56.547 --> 00:21:01.391
My songwriting at a younger age, even in my 20s, was very dark, very melancholy, very.
00:21:01.391 --> 00:21:03.933
Yeah, you know.
00:21:03.933 --> 00:21:12.931
Going back and reading it now I have a whole binder full of stuff I just want to cry Like I don't even know that girl anymore that wrote those words, like it's so scary to kind of read what a dark place I was in.
00:21:12.931 --> 00:21:17.624
Everything was just you could feel like the hopelessness in it, you know.
00:21:17.624 --> 00:21:18.605
So it's very sad.
00:21:19.007 --> 00:21:41.905
And now that I started writing again, because my life is in such a different place and I'm more aware, I write more empowerment songs now for people to grab onto, but I can also, I feel like it helps me relate, like sharing my journey and even sharing how, when you feel a little bit hopeless, right, so people can connect with that part of it, but also like there is hope at the same time and so the writing can bring that out.
00:21:41.905 --> 00:21:46.853
You know I have a song called you Are Enough, and so I feel like I write for more of an empowerment stance now.
00:21:46.853 --> 00:21:57.566
So my writing really is for mainly for women, you know, like former versions of myself who are just stepping into healing right to help them get over that, the edge of that.
00:21:57.566 --> 00:22:10.568
And so because, because I'm in touch with those places in myself now, I feel like I can make it relatable without making it melancholy or without making it dark, and so it's more encouraging and empowering when I write now.
00:22:10.568 --> 00:22:14.867
So that's, that's a big shift from where I used to how I used to write, you know.
00:22:14.867 --> 00:22:18.268
So it's so interesting to see that kind of full circle.
00:22:18.307 --> 00:22:26.853
But that again is all my experiences and it's always come from, comes from somewhere real, whether it's my own experiences or my relationship with.
00:22:26.853 --> 00:22:31.943
You know, my daughter with mental health that's where the Two-Sided Mirror song came from was from our, from our relationship.
00:22:31.943 --> 00:22:34.292
You know, we've grown so much in our communication, in our relationship.
00:22:34.292 --> 00:22:40.830
We've grown so much in our communication and our relationship and it's just about us always trying to reach each other and we see each other.
00:22:40.830 --> 00:22:50.009
We know we're there, but sometimes it's just hard to make that connection and just trying to let her know I see her, I understand in the way that she's able to communicate with me.
00:22:50.009 --> 00:22:55.951
So, putting those into words in a song I know someone's going to hear it and relate my sister after she heard it.
00:22:55.951 --> 00:22:56.992
She's like Wendy, I'm bawling.
00:22:56.992 --> 00:23:02.582
She's like I don't get choked up telling you this, but she's like because I've been on both sides, sure, you know for her.
00:23:02.622 --> 00:23:24.960
She's like I've been on both sides of that mirror and so like she's like I heard it and she's like I was just crying but in a you know so, yeah, so that means a lot to me when the people that are close to me can see themselves in it, understand that it's coming from a place of love and that I see them.
00:23:24.960 --> 00:23:36.964
Yeah, do you share, you know, like when you're working with people in WEN Stories?
00:23:36.964 --> 00:23:39.996
I know, like also you've mentioned in songwriting, you have shared some of your journey in some ways, bits and pieces, through your songwriting as well.
00:23:39.996 --> 00:23:48.074
But do you also share that piece with people you work for, work with in the when Stories piece to kind of help them become more vulnerable as well?
00:23:48.900 --> 00:23:51.925
Yeah, and it's a delicate balance, right.