Sept. 24, 2025
Uncovering the Real You: Life Beyond the Bottle with Joshua Case
Send us a text What happens when the executive with the corner office is hiding a devastating secret? Joshua Case, former VP at a Fortune 500 company, pulls back the curtain on his double life—corporate success by day, battling alcohol addiction by night. Joshua's raw conversation reveals how childhood trauma, including sexual abuse and a complicated relationship with his father, created patterns of codependency that followed him into adulthood. Despite his success in career, he found himsel...
What happens when the executive with the corner office is hiding a devastating secret? Joshua Case, former VP at a Fortune 500 company, pulls back the curtain on his double life—corporate success by day, battling alcohol addiction by night.
Joshua's raw conversation reveals how childhood trauma, including sexual abuse and a complicated relationship with his father, created patterns of codependency that followed him into adulthood. Despite his success in career, he found himself trapped in a cycle of using alcohol to escape painful memories and uncomfortable emotions.
Rock bottom made its appearance when Josh got arrested after moving to Florida, despite that having been a goal. This rock-bottom moment finally pushed him toward meaningful recovery through a 90-day rehab program where he confronted his past and discovered the life-changing impact of understanding codependency. "I went 48 years of my life misunderstanding how a healthy relationship should work," he shares with striking vulnerability.
Now sober and thriving, Joshua has channeled his experience into creating SoberBuzz, a community supporting others struggling with addiction that has grown to over 90,000 followers across 43 countries. His message resonates with powerful simplicity: "If you think you have a problem, most likely you do," and "Never give up, give mental health a chance, and really look at why you're doing it."
Whether you're questioning your own relationship with substances, supporting someone who is struggling, or simply interested in the human capacity for transformation, Joshua's journey offers profound insights into breaking cycles of addiction and finding authentic connection. Connect with his work on YouTube at SoberBuzzPodcast, Instagram @SoberBuzzToken, or via email at JC@JoshCase.com.
00:00 - Introduction to Joshua Case
04:02 - Childhood Trauma and Success Struggles
09:56 - Understanding Codependency and Relationships
19:59 - The Arrest That Changed Everything
23:31 - Rehab and Confronting Past Behaviors
36:08 - Creating SoberBuzz and Breaking Stigmas
46:55 - Advice for Those Struggling with Addiction
53:22 - Final Thoughts and Where to Connect
WEBVTT
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Hello everyone and welcome to today's episode of On the Spectrum with Sonia.
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Just imagine you are thriving in a career, you are working in a Fortune 500 company and you've earned your way up to VP for status in a company that is so widely respected and so people look up to a very prestigious kind of company.
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But what people don't know outside that exterior is the battle that you face, one where people have described it before as the monkey on the back which is used to a lot of times describe addiction.
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With us today is Joshua Case.
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He is here to share his journey about how he was one of those people that was a VP of a Fortune 500 company, worked a lot with utilities, he was very successful in his career, but behind the scenes he was fighting just that the monkey on the back with his addiction with alcohol.
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Today Joshua is thriving.
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He created SoberBuzz, which is a community for people who not only have addiction but also for families of people who have addiction.
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He provides support for people who struggle with addiction and he has been sober and has remained sober ever since undergoing the treatment.
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So with us today is Joshua Case.
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Thank you, joshua, for joining today.
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Yeah, thank you for having me on, sonia, excited to be here, appreciate it.
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Oh, thank you.
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Thank you.
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So, joshua, why don't you tell us a little bit about your life Now?
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As mentioned, you were working with Fortune 500.
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You were doing a lot of utility work.
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Were working with fortune 500, you were doing a lot of utility work.
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Uh, you done very well.
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You earned, um, a title of vp in that company you were in, but yet you were also struggling with, with alcohol abuse, and I want to know a little bit like how did this journey start for you, um, in terms of addiction, in terms of also your career?
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yeah, so I always had a drinking problem.
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You know I I drank to escape um life, to my thoughts, uh, things I didn't like to think about.
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You know, when I got to Engie they actually that's the Global Fortune 500 company you referenced they actually bought my company, a company I co-founded called Photosol US Renewable Energy.
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So I went there, so I didn't move up within the company.
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They bought my company and I got, you know, placed in that position and I got, you know, placed in that position.
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You know, I always thought like every one of my successes would make me happy or like, you know, oh yeah, just if this happened or that happened or something else happened, but those things would happen or something along those lines, and I'd be just as unhappy.
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I still have the same thoughts or the same things that were, you know, bothering me or haunting me from the past.
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Uh, still wanted to escape, you know, reality.
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So it wasn't until I dealt with, like, uh, my mental, my mental health, um, in rehab back in 2020, uh, I get my years mixed up 2024.
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And uh, at Burning Tree Renewal Lodge in Elgin, Texas that I dealt with some childhood trauma.
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You know, bad relationship with my father.
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You know I was learned about codependency, read, had the book.
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My counselor gave me a codependent no more.
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That book changed my life Really saw what I had been doing my whole life and how I'd been really living wrong or having relationships wrong my whole life, which was like a lot of my frustration came from because I would never get satisfaction out of relationships.
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Well, I was doing them, it turns out.
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So let's backtrack a little bit Now.
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You said that you've always had a drinking problem.
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You have dealt with some childhood trauma.
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When was it that you started to realize, right, that things were not right in your life, and when was the first time you picked up a drink?
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So I've always thought there was something like different about me, or, you know I things affected me differently than other people, or other people just saw things a little different than me.
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Um, but I always wondered, like what was wrong.
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Uh, I never knew what.
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Um, you know I, I was, uh, sexually molested by a male babysitter when I was 10 or 11 years old.
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You know, the first time I ever tasted alcohol a male babysitter when I was 10 or 11 years old, the first time I ever tasted alcohol.
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My grandma gave me some of her champagne in Fullerton, California, when I was 7 or 8 years old, but I obviously didn't have a drinking problem then.
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But I was around alcohol pretty much my whole life and I would say in my early 30s is when I really started drinking to escape.
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But I really didn't get out of control until, you know, I would say five years ago.
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And when I say out of control, like I was still in control, I was, you know, running a company building a company, closing deals control.
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I was, you know, running a company, building a company, closing deals.
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But I can see the progression of how it got more out of control or more extreme, more extreme to the point where you know I got arrested and that's how I ended up in rehab the last time, to hopefully not get my charges dropped, which happened.
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So what were you trying to escape when you started drinking?
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To escape, what were you exactly trying to run away from?
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Well, I mean, it was a mix of things, like if it was something that was going on in my life at the time, that.
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But then I would always have thoughts like almost daily, about what happened to me as a kid or my poor relationship with my father.
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You know I have no relationship with him now, but you know, until recently and I recently, in the last couple of years, you know, no matter how poorly he treated me, I always still wanted, always tried to get his approval for some reason.
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It doesn't make any sense, but it it it that drove me, drove me crazy.
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And just the codependency part.
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You know, a lot of my, most of my relationships are transactional, or I put expectations on people that maybe I didn't even understand or they didn't, of course they didn't understand.
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So when I'm in relationships with people and things aren't going the way I want, it was frustrating for me, me or control.
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You know what I can control.
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You know I'm I'm like getting all spun up because people aren't doing what I I expect them to do.
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Well, that's not how the world works.
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But no one explained that to me.
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You know, um, I mean, it all seems pretty simple now, but you know I I went 48 years of my life, but you know I went 48 years of my life, you know misunderstanding how a healthy relationship should work, right?
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So what were you looking for, you know, when you were describing your relationship so like, how would you say?
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Like, first and foremost, you know, we learn a lot of our relationships from our families, right?
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Our first relationship we learned from our family, and so if we didn't have a working relationship at home, it makes no surprise that we won't have working relationships outside our family either, right?
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I mean looking back, that makes total sense, yeah.
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I didn't grow up around a functional house, put it that way.
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So, or a healthy house were your parents together when you were growing up yeah, they're still together.
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Um, I I mean, I'm not a therapist, but I've I've looked into a lot of different personality.
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This you know, or family, uh, scenarios, and I mean I would say my dad's a narcissist and my mom's an enabler, and you know, uh, you know he, uh, you know he called me names growing up.
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He called her names growing up when I was growing up uh it and the names that I got called like, uh, selfish, prideful, prima donna, I mean I kind of ended up all those things right.
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Uh, ultimately, the difference is I didn't want to be like that once I learned that I didn't have to be you ended up like what well an asshole, you know, thinking I should get, get whatever I wanted, uh, relationship for transactional.
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So I felt like if I did something for somebody, they owed me um, it and that.
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And that's how I grew up, like you know.
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Money was dangled in front of us.
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You do, you do what you're supposed to do and you get, you get rewarded.
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Right, it wasn't love base.
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I mean the word love would be thrown around, sure, but you know it always came with strings attached.
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So when you felt, when you would hear the word love thrown around in your house, what did you make of that word to mean then for you?
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Yeah, that's a good question.
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Like it meant somebody was happy with me, Somebody was happy with how I was behaving.
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You know, growing up I was told like if I was upset about something and it was, someone didn't think it was something to be upset about.
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I was told my feelings were wrong.
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So like love, love just pretty much was being accepted, right, so not, and that's not what it is.
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Right.
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Love is kind of the opposite, Like you're accepted in spite of everything else, right?
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So for you, it felt like, in order to be loved, you had to attain certain things, you had to do certain things.
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What was it that you felt you needed to do in order to be loved?
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What were those conditions and strings attached?
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Well, I mean, one example I can give you is you know, I was in business with my father for a number of years.
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I mean it hasn't been for quite some time now, but at one point in time before that ended, he made comments to like my brothers that, uh, you know, josh is good for one thing he, he makes us money.
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Or like he sent a banner on a picture of a mercedes text to everybody saying, oh, look what, look what Josh did.
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We were able to buy this, like everything was tied to a thing, or money, so yeah, so, like you know, of course, you know, when I was successful, I bought my kids all a bunch of brand new cars, right, I bought my kids all a bunch of brand new cars, right?
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I mean I didn't hold it over their head like it was when I got a car bought for me when I was a kid, but you know, it just seemed like that's what you're supposed to do.
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You know, I mean not that I regret it or anything, but like I think I think, looking, looking back at it, like there were other, or maybe it, I was just doing what I was.
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It was more of, I was just doing what I learned, or it was I was taught not not doing it, because I I wanted to, I guess, like I was supposed to.
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So, it felt like everything was conditioned almost.
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Yeah, yeah, like, oh, yeah, like.
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Oh, I'm buying my kids a car.
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They're going to know I love them.
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When it turns out like, whether I bought them the car or not, I still love them, and they know that already, you know.
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So when you talk about the relationships being transactional in other areas of your life, what exactly were you looking for at those times that you were having those relationships?
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Yeah, that's a good question because, like, if I don't know what I'm looking for, how would the other person?
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And if I can't explain it to them, how would they be able to decide whether they wanted to do that?
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I was just always I did this for somebody and, man, I can't believe this is how they're acting or this is how they're treating me.
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I can't believe that I asked them to do something and they didn't do it, or just stuff like that.
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It wasn't like, oh, I did X for somebody and I and I expected Y.
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It was just, I was always I mean 90% of the time like underwhelmed with you know, the not feeling I didn't get enough gratitude, I guess, or, or it's hard to.
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It's not like there was anything specific I was looking for I was looking for, you know, probably I guess you know I'm a, I was a people pleaser.
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I had a hard time saying no, I I always wanted turns out.
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I was always looking for outside validation.
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I wanted some outside validation and I wasn't getting enough of it.
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You know, for whatever I did, you know, because I had, I did have self low of it.
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You know, for whatever I did, you know, because I had, I did have self low, low self-esteem right.
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Um, and until I learned that and learned that I, you know, getting getting the acknowledgement from the outside or filling that hole externally is, uh, you're never going to fill it Right.
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I never filled it.
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So I mean, it was a mix of like expecting things that I didn't even know what I wanted, but I was always disappointed and, you know, having low self-esteem, and it just it all, it all kind of mingles together, right, it all kind of mingles together.
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Right when you look back at those relationships and you said, though, that you were looking for validation what were you ultimately looking to hear or to feel from someone?
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Oh, how great I am.
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Josh is so great.
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Oh, look what Josh did, um, when it.
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You know it, if I, if I want to do something for somebody like that is like the last, like like um, I, that that's.
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That's.
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The wrong reason to do something for somebody is is, is looking for something like that yeah.
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Was there ever a part of you that felt like you were good enough or that you were um capable or intelligent?
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Did you ever feel that way anytime in your life growing up, or was it always that you were kind of made to feel like you're only as good as your last transaction?
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well, I mean I definitely turns out.
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I learned what about this in rehab.
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I had imposter syndrome.
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I mean I never thought I was good enough, I never thought I deserved what I had.
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Um, you know, that was one one thing.
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I, you know, I catastrophize things or catastrophize the future, uh, self-sabotage things.
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I mean I can looking back like I can say I, I did not feel good about myself, nor did I feel like I deserve something, so I ruined it Right.
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Um in hindsight, it, it, it.
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I can see the see those actions.
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But um, at the time, um, if I actually cared about myself, I probably wouldn't have done half the things I did, or 90% of the things I did Like if I.
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I put myself in some, you know, I, I I say this like I finally got arrested for I wasn't a criminal running around doing criminal things.
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But I, like I drove drunk and never got in trouble, like so many times, like there's so many things that like I felt like you know, I'm just there's no consequences to anything, because I never faced any consequences.
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And you know, in hindsight that was really selfish of myself.
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I was putting other people in bad positions, putting myself in bad positions and it just showed how little I cared about myself, right Ultimately.
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But I was looking at it differently, like, oh look, I get away with everything, look how cool, I am.
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Which it wasn't cool.
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Right.
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So what ultimately happened, then?
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For you to get arrested?
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So I guess I'll pick.
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My dream was to live in Florida for over, you know, two decades.
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My divorce went through.
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I bought a house in northwest of Tampa, moving down there with my my girlfriend at the time, now now my wife.
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We had a deal, you know, we'd have doctors and therapists in place when we get there, because you know we both have have issues and we get there, and you know we both have have issues and we get there.
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And uh, you know, not, both of us didn't do that.
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And uh, you know, I got upset.
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I threw some stuff in the canal cause we, you know we have a doc, uh, the house there, and uh, I, I, I just completely lost my, lost my shit, I, it was like my brain broke.
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I had my dream.
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I moved to Florida.
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I've got a boat now on the dock on the Gulf in 20 minutes and I still never even used the boat and it's been over a year.
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So it was like I destroyed my dream, got arrested, got arrested.
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Within two weeks I am in rehab in Texas, um and uh that you know it.
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It was like uh, I, I, I had, I had what I wanted and I couldn't let myself have it.
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And I've never been arrested before.
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So, of all times you know, six days after I get to Florida, I get arrested.
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And was this part of the plea deal that you go to rehab?
00:19:23.346 --> 00:19:24.330
Well, there was no plea deal.
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I had one charge.
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It just got dismissed because, you know, the judge was happy I went to rehab.
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I'd never been in trouble before.
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Of course, my brothers and my sober manager and my lawyers they use this as an opportunity to scare me, this you know, but uh, but ultimately it did scare me, but if I didn't learn the things I learned in rehab, I'd probably be drinking right now.
00:19:54.894 --> 00:20:11.622
Um, you know the codependency stuff, the dealing with the trauma when I grew up, because once I I dealt with those things, the, uh, the, the, the desire to self-medicate went away, right, like I mean, my world would revolve around.
00:20:11.622 --> 00:20:19.417
You know when I'm going to drink next, like, once I didn't have those things rattling around in my head.
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I had nothing to hide from.
00:20:28.186 --> 00:20:32.094
So whose decision, ultimately, then?
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Was it for you to go to rehab, was it decided for you from your legal team, or did you pick up and choose to do this on your own?
00:20:38.894 --> 00:20:41.445
well, uh, I knew I needed to go to rehab.
00:20:41.445 --> 00:20:47.433
I mean, my life was not sustainable, nor nor was uh heidi's.
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If we didn't.
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We both ended up going to rehab at the same time, because if we didn't clean up, one we could.
00:20:56.807 --> 00:21:09.872
If one of us cleaned up and the other one didn't, then we couldn't be together anymore, and if we both didn't clean up we'd end up dead or in prison or something, because we were just not making good decisions.
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It was just getting worse and worse and worse.
00:21:15.194 --> 00:21:20.954
So I knew I needed to go.
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I was scared to death that I had a charge.
00:21:24.894 --> 00:21:28.115
It was a felony charge, felony criminal mischief, one count.
00:21:28.115 --> 00:21:33.528
And you know they could have charged me with other things.
00:21:33.528 --> 00:21:34.450
I think you know they were.
00:21:34.450 --> 00:21:35.810
I think they were trying to teach me a lesson.
00:21:35.810 --> 00:21:41.494
They did, or at least taught me a big enough lesson to go get cleaned up.
00:21:41.494 --> 00:21:45.278
But I wanted to go.
00:21:45.278 --> 00:21:48.621
But if I hadn't get out arrested I wouldn't have done right.
00:21:48.621 --> 00:21:50.383
It wasn't like I was going already.
00:21:56.164 --> 00:22:11.122
So tell me about what it was like for you when you got into rehab and what that journey was like when you first started doing the work and sobering up and getting into the sober path.
00:22:12.425 --> 00:22:13.670
So it was my third time in rehab.
00:22:13.670 --> 00:22:18.326
I went twice in the fall of 2023, once for 30 days and once for 21 days.
00:22:18.326 --> 00:22:23.634
This last time, last summer, it was for 90 days.
00:22:23.634 --> 00:22:35.298
So I think a big thing had to do with the length of time why it worked, because the first few weeks at the last two times I went in, including the most recent, you know I wasn't happy.
00:22:35.298 --> 00:22:42.578
I was there, I was not, you know, doing the work, you know, if you will.
00:22:42.578 --> 00:22:49.310
So after a few weeks of being there, I'm like I'm here, I might as well do this stuff.
00:22:50.253 --> 00:22:51.376
I started working with my counselor.
00:22:51.376 --> 00:22:52.749
I was being serious about stuff.
00:22:52.749 --> 00:22:54.253
I read the book codependent no more.
00:22:54.253 --> 00:23:00.310
And you know, I think that things I can see things gradually changing.
00:23:00.310 --> 00:23:07.671
Um, and I think even the other two rehab times I went to rehab, there are things I learned there that that helped me.
00:23:07.671 --> 00:23:23.759
Uh, it kind of built of built on each other, but I wasn't ready then and I wasn't there long enough to deal or get deep enough into the things I had to deal with, like I did last summer.
00:23:26.926 --> 00:23:47.288
And what was it like for you to dig deep and actually do the work, and what have you learned about yourself in the process, and did you discover anything that was kind of a shock to you, or maybe just a wake-up call or revelation that something you hadn't been paying attention to, or perhaps buried away?
00:23:47.930 --> 00:23:49.093
yeah, like uh one.
00:23:49.093 --> 00:24:09.758
The one of the things that we had to do, um, as we were doing our step work at uh in rehab was, uh, you know, come up with like 10 of the worst situations that you've put yourself in and or other people in 10 situations, other people and like these and like the it it was, uh, it was.
00:24:09.758 --> 00:24:10.960
They were pretty bad.
00:24:10.960 --> 00:24:31.538
Like you look at like just one or two of those things would have been like okay, you know, people make mistakes or get themselves into bad situations, but these were like really bad situations that like the consequences would have been like bad if I like got in trouble for what I was doing.
00:24:31.538 --> 00:24:33.380
Um it.
00:24:33.380 --> 00:24:40.335
So I I started looking at like the, my actions, like these aren't funny stories, right?
00:24:40.904 --> 00:24:51.976
Like I would tell like what, like hijinks, these aren't, these are serious things that people actually do get in trouble for.
00:24:51.976 --> 00:25:08.912
I was just fortunate fortunate not to and I think it took it was probably after I was in rehab for six to seven weeks, so I've been sober for about two months so but you know, I'm kind of my head's coming out of that cloud, you know, I take I mean it takes longer than that.
00:25:08.912 --> 00:25:10.365
But I'm like starting to think straight and I'm like, you know I'm kind of my head's coming out of that cloud, you know I take I mean it takes longer than that.
00:25:10.365 --> 00:25:14.480
But I'm like starting to think straight and I'm like just like what, what am I doing?
00:25:14.964 --> 00:25:42.103
Like in the field that you know the, the, the recovery managers there that you sit down and you go through your work with a couple of them are like Josh, like we were gang members and we we were, you know we, we were putting ourselves in some of these situations and like having things in places you shouldn't have them, where you can get a lot of in a lot of trouble.
00:25:42.103 --> 00:25:45.894
Um, you know it's just stuff like that.
00:25:45.894 --> 00:25:49.644
It's Just irresponsible.
00:25:49.644 --> 00:26:00.531
And you know I'm not hurting anybody else but myself If I did get in trouble in these situations, but the you know it would have been.
00:26:00.531 --> 00:26:05.154
My life would be a lot different if I had Got in trouble.
00:26:05.154 --> 00:26:11.008
But obviously During the time I'm not thinking like that, I'm just like no.
00:26:15.026 --> 00:26:23.732
And when you go back and you reflect on the things that you've done, that you said you could have gotten into very big trouble for, but were fortunate enough not to.
00:26:23.732 --> 00:26:31.193
What was something that you learned about yourself while sifting through all that?
00:26:33.385 --> 00:26:36.153
Yeah, At the time I must not have cared much about myself.
00:26:36.153 --> 00:26:55.288
Um, you know, if, if I'm I mean one of the things I'm referring to is getting on international flights with some things that you shouldn't have Um, I mean, like, like those are big consequences.
00:26:55.288 --> 00:27:00.556
Uh, did I think twice about it, Uh, when I was in?
00:27:00.556 --> 00:27:02.179
Uh, in my addiction?
00:27:02.179 --> 00:27:19.295
No, Uh, now I look back and think, geez, uh, I, I, uh, I, I could be in prison.
00:27:19.315 --> 00:27:22.078
You talk about a lot of the book of the codependent.
00:27:22.078 --> 00:27:26.029
No more, you spoke about this.
00:27:26.029 --> 00:27:41.336
What is something about that book that really resonated with you and in what way do you feel like it helped shift some of your mentality or, you know, opened your eyes to see you in a different way?
00:27:43.224 --> 00:27:49.911
Well, I mean, probably within the first chapter or two, I'm like this woman wrote about me.
00:27:49.911 --> 00:27:53.816
I mean literally, it felt like she was describing me.
00:27:53.816 --> 00:28:08.845
You know how I said I knew there was something wrong with me, but I never knew what this book described, how I was living wrong and why I felt like there was something wrong with me, why I felt like there was something wrong with me.
00:28:08.845 --> 00:28:37.262
You know I'm it opened my eyes to how I, my, I, I was causing, like my own, angst by by being so codependent and I I know that you know everyone's codependent to a certain extent, but, like I, I had.
00:28:37.262 --> 00:28:38.527
No, I had heard the phrase.
00:28:38.527 --> 00:28:43.079
I had no idea what it meant, um, now I like to say I can manage it of like I had heard the phrase, I had no idea what it meant.
00:28:43.079 --> 00:28:51.250
Now I like to say I can manage it, I can see when I'm being too codependent or somebody else's and I can adjust things.
00:28:51.961 --> 00:29:06.224
Before it was, like you know, I just did whatever I did and I didn't look at the situation like all right, right, am I putting expectations on something that I shouldn't be putting expectations on?
00:29:06.224 --> 00:29:13.343
Um, am I doing this because I, I truly want to, or am I doing this because I want something in return?
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