Sept. 28, 2025
When I Write the Book About My Love (Spoiler: It's Finally Here): Prologue
Send us a text Have you ever wondered what happens when your greatest pain becomes your deepest purpose? As a professional photographer who's spent decades making others look their best, I've lived a life that many find fascinating—capturing celebrities for magazine covers, attending red carpet events, and building a dream studio in a picturesque town. But behind my lens and successes lay a story of heartbreak so profound that I never imagined sharing it publicly. My journey from heartbreak ...
Have you ever wondered what happens when your greatest pain becomes your deepest purpose? As a professional photographer who's spent decades making others look their best, I've lived a life that many find fascinating—capturing celebrities for magazine covers, attending red carpet events, and building a dream studio in a picturesque town. But behind my lens and successes lay a story of heartbreak so profound that I never imagined sharing it publicly.
My journey from heartbreak to healing wasn't straightforward. There were nights spent crying at my computer, trying to find the courage to document experiences I'd hidden for nearly twenty years. Writing this memoir pushed me to my limits, forcing me to confront memories that felt impossible to face. Yet something powerful emerged from this process—a mission larger than myself. What began as personal catharsis evolved into Shot At Love, a podcast and now book dedicated to helping others navigate their own paths to love.
The transformation from being a "damsel in distress" to becoming "someone who doesn't need saving" changed everything. I learned that "desperation paves a path to the devil," while self-compassion and small daily steps forward can completely transform your life. Through my darkest moments, I discovered that asking for help is often the hardest part of healing, not the overcoming itself. Now I'm passionate about sharing this message: you're not prey, you need to get "preyed up" so you don't get played. The world remains full of opportunities and love, waiting for you to shift your perspective and embrace them. My book "Shot At Love" is available now on Amazon—don't miss your chance to see love and yourself differently. Join our community at shotatlovebook.com for exclusive updates and information about upcoming live events.
00:11 - Nick Lowe's Lyrical Inspiration
01:26 - Rising From The Ashes
02:46 - Life Behind The Camera
03:49 - When Desperation Meets Darkness
04:57 - Finding Your Shot At Love
08:03 - Book Announcement
WEBVTT
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Prologue Om Shippaprasadamaha.
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If you lose something, you can find anything instantly using this chant.
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Unfortunately, in this tale, what was lost was me.
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The book about my love or lack of.
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Now I'm down in the heels, my complexion is bad, because my love life is sadder than sad.
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And when I write the book about my love, it'll be a pop publication tougher than tough.
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Those are some of my favorite lyrics and driving inspiration from the song When I Write the Book by Nick Lowe.
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Yes, my love life endured many stretches of being sadder than sad, including numerous intervals of heartbreak.
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This journey challenged me, shaping me into the person I was destined to be.
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In the end, even though I felt broken most of the time, it failed to break me.
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Instead, it pushed me towards my true self.
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Although, hard as hell, it was invaluable.
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To me, finding love is truly worth it.
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There were crying fits at my desk, honestly, I wasn't sure I had it to write this book.
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Ultimately, I chose to open up Pandora's painful box, pushed away the pit in my stomach, and plunged straight into my inner prowess.
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While I dug deep and found the strength I didn't know I had.
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As I faced my past, I spent many nights at my computer with tears dripping uncontrollably.
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How could I share how I saved myself from something beyond the pale I couldn't even look at, let alone write about it.
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My friend Christine Handy is a national best-selling author, breast cancer survivor, and the first model with a concave chest for Victoria's Secret who walked several runways during NYC's fashion week.
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She is my ultimate encourager around my writing.
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She told me, sometimes it's God who gives you the story to write.
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No filter.
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I'm a Phoenix who rose from the ashes.
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I turned it all around.
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Me.
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But that wasn't generally the case, I thought as I painfully tapped on my 28-inch apple wearing a gray beanie hat embroidered with a tan leather patch branded with the logo Shot at Love.
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Shot at Love is a podcast I created to help people in their pursuit of finding love, a mission so meaningful it's become my life's work.
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I can't help but reflect on my past struggles, but now with every keystroke I realize that my why had become more significant than me or my ever-present fear.
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My immense desire to help others became all-consuming.
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I was obsessed with helping people feel less alone and find the happiness they deserve.
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For me, to make it all happen, juggling my podcast, running my photography business, and writing this book became the ultimate definition of a side hustle behind this passion project.
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I knew it wouldn't be a pretty picture, the behind the scenes seldom is, but I was determined to finish it and see it through.
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Then maybe I could finally leave the past where it belonged in the rear view mirror.
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You miss all the shots you don't take.
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Years ago, if you told me I'd have this show shot at love and would put myself out there in such a big way, becoming so vulnerable or so public, I wouldn't have believed you.
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Nor did I imagine penning a memoir.
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I haven't even taken a writing class.
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Not to mention, I had spent almost two decades concealing the truth about what happened, living a life taking cover while hiding behind a lens, avoiding any focus or spotlight.
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Nowhere in the world did I think I would ever tell my story.
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I'm in the press, for God's sake.
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I've been a professional photographer my entire adult life, and ironically, what I do for a living is make people look better than they do, highlighting the exterior.
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But the real story behind the photograph is often unknown.
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The camera doesn't lie, it captures undeniable truths, and there is usually more that meets the eye.
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What is interesting are people's assumptions about me.
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My name is engraved outside my studio on a gorgeous hand-carved sign.
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I have a dream studio, portraits of beautiful people hang in studio windows in my picturesque town.
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A town so perfect, Eleanor Roosevelt said Main Street in Hingham, Massachusetts is the most beautiful Main Street in America.
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I've photographed celebrities for magazine covers for almost three decades, including the leading city magazine in Boston called The Improper Bostonian.
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A life of red carpets, premieres, and private box seats.
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I had a backstage pass for everything, life behind the scenes.
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I've had an incredible career filled with many experiences that people are invariably intrigued to hear about.
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People want to know what celebrities are like or which stars are my friends.
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My dad is a well-known photographer.
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He worked as a photojournalist for the Boston Globe for 50 years, and people are very interested in his stories as well.
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We often laugh and say we keep these stories locked in a vault to protect the people who trusted us.
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Our reputation, ethics, and character are most important to us.
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If you destroy your reputation, you can't get that back.
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To us, everyone is the same, whether you're the CEO or doorman, and we take people at face value, how kind they are and how they treat others.
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We know celebrities are just like everyone else.
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They put their pants on one leg at a time, just like us, but usually wear high-end designer pants.
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My career was fabulous and I loved every minute, but my journey was far from picture perfect.
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I want to paint you a picture of how someone like me, a driven, successful photographer at the top of my field, got to the point where I didn't want to live.
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I didn't know how to get through each day.
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I know this isn't the oppression Olympics, but sometimes the most capable people go down a rabbit hole so far they can't see their way out.
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In truth, it was a desperate time, and I did feel despair.
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However, one cannot make sound decisions when paralyzed in fear.
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Desperation paves a path to the devil.
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In the shadows, a damsel in distress looks for a savior, when in reality you need to become someone who doesn't need saving.
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You're not prey, you want to get preyed up so you don't get played.
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The world is full of opportunities, fresh starts, and abundance of love.
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It all comes down to your rose-colored glasses, your lens on life, and what you want or choose to see.
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It's important to look to the future while focusing on those few small steps you can take each day to turn your life around.
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Help, a high five, or a hug is always available, but the hardest thing is not in the overcoming, it's in the ask.
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Take a moment to have compassion for yourself.
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After all, I was just a girl doing her best and trying to find my way in the world.
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We all find ourselves lost at times, especially during life's challenging chapters.
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In those moments, turn to family, friends, and faith to lift you up.
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Instead of feeling lost, sound up to the song Lose Yourself by Eminem, because you have one shot and one opportunity, and you need to avoid slim shadies so you don't end up on 8 mile.
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Most importantly, you can't be afraid to ask for what you want.
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Capture that winning moment and shoot for the stars.
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Musician Nick Lowe wasn't scared to ask for what he wanted when he wrote these lyrics in a song.
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When I write the book, it will be a heartbreaking story of love and luck.
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When I get down on the pages, all I felt.
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It will make the hardest-hearted of critics' heart melt when I write the book about my love.
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Looking for love?
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My brand new book, Shot at Love, is out now.
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You can grab your copy today on Amazon.
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If you'd like to stay connected, get exclusive updates, and be the first to hear about Shod at Love live single events, join the mailing list at shot at lovebook.com.
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Don't miss your chance to change the way you see love and yourself.
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