Sept. 28, 2025
No One Ever Told Me That Just Because I Was Broke, I Couldn't Bank On Myself: Chapter 4
Send us a text What happens when your world crumbles beneath you? When a broken foot, a broken relationship, and a broken bank account converge at the worst possible moment? This raw, unflinching episode explores the pivotal moment when crisis became a catalyst for profound transformation. After discovering troubling messages on Kerry's boyfriend, Giovanny's phone, a confrontation led to a painful accident—breaking her foot in three places. Rather than support, Giovanny cruelly accused her o...
What happens when your world crumbles beneath you? When a broken foot, a broken relationship, and a broken bank account converge at the worst possible moment? This raw, unflinching episode explores the pivotal moment when crisis became a catalyst for profound transformation.
After discovering troubling messages on Kerry's boyfriend, Giovanny's phone, a confrontation led to a painful accident—breaking her foot in three places. Rather than support, Giovanny cruelly accused her of deliberately injuring herself to manipulate him, revealing the narcissistic dynamic that had been present all along. Left immobilized during her busiest photography season, with no health insurance and dwindling finances, she reached a devastating crossroads.
Drawing strength from unexpected sources—Tina Turner's resilient spirit and financial advisor John Spooner's contrarian wisdom—she discovered that the principles governing smart investing apply equally to recovery from toxic relationships. "In crucial decisions, use your brain first, heart second," became her mantra as she dragged herself on crutches to convert saved coins to cash when her debit card declined for a simple pizza order.
This episode beautifully illustrates how rock bottom became the foundation for rebuilding. By approaching her personal crisis with the same strategic thinking Spooner applied to market crashes, she transformed her circumstances—booking $4,000 in photography sessions despite her injury, finding her voice, and eventually creating the award-winning "Shot At Love" podcast to help others escape unhealthy relationships.
The most valuable lesson? No matter how broke you are financially or emotionally, you can always bank on yourself. This powerful story reminds us that sometimes the best investment we can make is in our own healing and growth. Have you experienced a moment when hitting bottom became the catalyst for your greatest comeback? Join our community and share your story of resilience and renewal. Find out more at www.shotatlovebook.com
00:20 - Nam Maharangeo: Tina's Mantra
01:01 - Financial Wisdom from John Spooner
02:52 - Down Cycle: Breaking Point
05:19 - Broken But Not Defeated
10:49 - Betting on Myself
17:54 - Book Announcement and Call to Action
WEBVTT
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Chapter 4.
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No one ever told me that just because I was broke, I couldn't bank on myself.
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Nam Maharangeo.
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Tina Turner was known to have used Sanskrit mantras for spiritual and personal growth.
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One of the most famous mantras she incorporated into her practice is Nam Maharangeo, which translates as devotion to the mystic law of Lotra Sutra.
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It is considered a powerful mantra for invoking positive transformation and overcoming obstacles.
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Tina Turner has spoken openly about using this mantra and how it positively impacted her life and well-being.
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Advice from a financial advisor.
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It's all about emotions and people sold after every true panic I have ever seen, after President John F.
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Kennedy's assassination, after the huge market crash of 1987, after the 9-11 attacks.
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Often the best advice during tragedies like these is to take a step back and coolly consider the options.
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I read this advice in the book No One Ever Told Us That Money and Life Letters to My Grandchildren by John D.
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Spooner.
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Meet John Spooner, a brilliant creative with whom I had the privilege of working alongside during a long and exciting run at the Improper Bostonian magazine.
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Spooner was an anomaly.
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He was America's only investment advisor and novelist.
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Some of his best-selling nonfiction includes Do You Want to Make Money?
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Or would rather fool around, Confessions of a Stockbroker, and Smart People, Sex and Money.
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Not only did he write books, but he also wrote a column for the improper called The Dance.
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His articles appeared in publications such as Playboy, Town and Country, The Atlantic Monthly, Esquire, Time, and the Boston Globe.
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His latest book, No One Ever Told Us That, had me wondering why no one ever told me I had everything I needed to fix my life.
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Booner could have written many best-selling books about making money.
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He knew how to make it for other people, and he had made plenty of it himself.
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But he knew there was more to life than that.
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What was important to him was the human experience and relationships with others, how you reacted to the tough stuff when life threw you lemons, and in the process of making lemonade, it was who you became in the struggle that was the real juice of life.
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Down cycle.
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Giovanni was studying for an exam that he was taking to switch careers again.
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So to beat the heat, since our house lacked air conditioning, he went to my photography studio next door to keep cool.
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Still his mind was focused on passing this test when he failed an honesty exam when he left behind his phone.
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A barrage of lights blinked as I passed by a cell phone which was stranded on the kitchen island.
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It lit up with a slew of sex messages that quickly shocked me.
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I swiftly slid on flip-flops and flew down my front stairs while slipping in the rain, in the dark, and holding Giovanni's cell phone.
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I missed the second to last step, breaking my foot in three places.
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In a frenzy, I screamed for help.
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No one heard me because Morgan was upstairs with her wall unit air conditioner drumming out the noise, and the same went for Giovanni.
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One neighbor heard me crying and screaming.
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In a panic, I told a neighbor to enter my house and yell up to Morgan, who ran next door to the studio to get Giovanni.
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Giovanni quickly came home and carried me up the stairs.
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Giovanni asked if he should call an ambulance, which I declined because we didn't have health insurance or money for an ambulance ride.
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So I put myself to bed after hoisting myself up my stairs backwards on my ass, feeling like an asshole.
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I was destroyed emotionally and physically.
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The deal slipping away.
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The next day I awoke to realize my foot, which I knew was broken, was too swollen to cast.
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I lay in bed worrying about how I would work.
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It was the summertime and I was in the middle of my busy season.
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I lay quietly, crying in pain, and I look up as Giovanni stood over me.
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He said, You know I'm unhappy, so you threw yourself down the stairs to trap me so I wouldn't leave, but it didn't work because I'm leaving.
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I was too stunned to respond to anything so hurtful, and without another word he left.
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His heartless actions shocked me, leading me to question why anyone would do something so insane as to throw themselves down a flight of stairs on purpose, especially when I had covers to shoot, beat shoots every night of the week, and weddings on weekends.
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I certainly couldn't get out of photographing someone's wedding.
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Plus I made all my money in the summer.
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What kind of person would say that and lead me this way?
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Not to mention taking no ownership of the hurtful text thread to God even knows who.
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That's when I saw Giovanni for who he was.
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Not only did I miss a step, I also missed an opportunity to be in a relationship with a man who would meet my basic needs.
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If you're injured or sick, you want someone to help you.
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Narcissists never take any blame for the pain they cause.
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It's always someone else's fault.
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They say things like, I never asked you to do that, and I never asked you to have a relationship with me.
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Or it was your fault that you looked at his phone, blinking boldly with racy text.
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And per the narcissist, it was also my fault he was leaving.
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I wasn't hot enough or whatever he thought, as he was surrounded by women working out a CrossFit.
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He needed to check his mental fitness as his mind was out of shape.
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Giovanni didn't need a therapist, he needed to be dropped off at a basic training boot camp in the middle of the night to address his unavailability, as well as his inability to have deep emotional connections or maintain any healthy relationships due to his unresolved issues and complete fear of intimacy.
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It's impossible to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship when one person is in love with themselves without a space for another.
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I decided I could lie here, suffering all day and crying, but that wouldn't get me anywhere.
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I did what I usually did and turned to a motivational book to get me through, or at the very least, give me some strength or insight in how to help myself, as my life, heart and foot were smashed into pieces.
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Everything needed to be mended, and I knew it started with my mind.
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Looking back, I had so much fear about being abandoned, but let's be honest, I had already been rejected in such an inhumane way, and I was the one mistreating myself by staying.
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I couldn't tell anyone, I was too ashamed and scared.
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So I turned to my trusted friend book to see what Spooner had to say.
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Quietly I read Spooner's words in the author's note.
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He wrote when describing himself that he was a man with lots of bruises, someone still standing and still up for the game.
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I thought to myself, despite everything I endured, I still had a lot of fight left in me too.
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Spooner said, You will build up scar tissue from the bumps life gives you, and the tough testing helps.
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Boy, was I being tested.
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Lessons only come from the tough stuff in life.
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The absurd, the bumps, the heroes and heroines, Spooner wrote.
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He had dedicated more than half a century to his work.
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At eighty-eight, he still works and writes today.
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Throughout his life and career, Spooner kept his eyes and ears open, learning everything he could about money, power, greed, fear, and most importantly, relationships, something I failed miserably at.
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I was melting down as the stock markets did in 2008.
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I was losing everything, and I was so lost as I read feverishly, praying for words that would put me on the right path.
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Spooner wrote, Human nature never changes.
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This thought almost totally governs stock market behavior, and it comes to me with the perspective of watching markets and people's behavior for over fifty years.
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I have had a handful of clients during that time who have always, because of emotions, made exactly the wrong move time and time again.
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Then believe when headlines scream fear, or when you feel it in your gut that you should be very afraid, the world around you will scream nothing will ever be good again.
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Dare to go against the grain, Spooner advised.
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Believe in the long haul, be a contrarian.
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It was clear I wasn't dating a prominent banker, financier, or Rothschild.
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I was dating a child.
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Giovanni couldn't even handle a broken foot, and it was time to bet against the crowd, against the odds, and on myself because human nature never changes.
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I didn't trust math or no numbers, but I had to have serious trust in myself that somehow I would get myself out of this.
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Where there's a will, there's a way.
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Why couldn't I use my voice and ask for help?
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My voice was Spooner's favorite thing about me.
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I would share some of my latest creative ideas with him, and when inspired, I would call Spooner up as he sat at his fancy desk in the financial district.
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He'd answer the phone, Spooner here.
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I'd laugh and say, Hi Spooner, it's Carrie Brett.
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Spooner would yell, that voice, followed by, how do you wake up sounding like that every day?
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Then that voice of yours needs to be on the radio.
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I love that Spooner could see my future better than I could then.
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Spooner could write for any publication he wanted in the city of Boston, but he chose the improper Bostonian because we were all a bunch of kids in our twenties when a handful of creatives set out to change the world with our hipster publication.
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Spooner liked to be around young people because young people were curious and had new ideas.
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I reminded myself that Spooner always told me I could get out of a jam and fix any problem with creativity and ideas, and he felt I had a wealth of both.
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Betting on the person.
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Some things are out of our control, and sometimes accidents happen.
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I couldn't expect anything from anyone else other than myself.
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Expect to do it yourself.
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I was living under such stress, like the chaos of 20 million share days on the New York Stock Exchange.
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I had to accept that the conditions had changed, and I couldn't go out the window as I realized I had bought the cheapest stock on the block and was living with the Wolf of Wall Street.
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As Spooner said, decisions around finances or romances are all about emotion.
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It was time to get liquid with myself.
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Even though I couldn't walk and was on crutches, I needed to walk the walk and get back into the game by investing in myself and making different choices.
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Plus, I had to stop making decisions based on fear.
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This wasn't my last chance to cash in.
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I would write my way to a new feature, but for now I would shoot in a boot and be my own cash cow.
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Getting a leg up on the competition.
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It became apparent that I also needed to start taking better care of myself, and I needed some food.
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Since I couldn't walk, and these were the days before DoorDash, I called Crow Point Pizzeria and ordered a small pizza, size salad, and a Diet Coke.
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Instantly, my bank card declined over the phone, and I wiped away tears as I blared the song Proud Mary by Tina Turner and sang these words.
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And I never lost one minute of sleep, worrying about the way things might have been.
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Big wheels keep on turning.
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Proud Mary keeps on burning.
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Proud Carrie wasn't gonna lose a minute of sleep either, worrying about the way things might have been.
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I reminded myself that I too was a big wheel that would keep on turning.
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I proudly sat on my ass, cinched down on my front steps with my hand in the air, holding my crutches as I drove myself to the stop and shop.
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After remembering that I had a bag of change and a Lululemon tote in my car, instead of rolling down the river, I rolled quarters into a coin star, got cash, and bought a frozen pizza and a drink.
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Then I rolled into my four wheels and headed home to get to work because that's what big wheels do.
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I knew you created your reality.
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I have lost it all a hundred times.
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Contrary to the frantic measures, I had to do the opposite of what others did in hysterical panic.
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I was in a weak market, but I wasn't weak.
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I am my own personal long-term investment, and I had to find someone who would support me, not tear me down.
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Debt is a killer, but so is a deadbeat boyfriend.
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I was in trouble with plastic.
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It seemed that my debit card was one of many things that had limits.
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That you should ask yourself this question.
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If I can give him or her up, will I look back and say I made a terrible mistake?
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When looking back, if it would be the biggest mistake to give them up, then you should marry them.
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But not being able to give someone up, knowing it wasn't good for me, would cost me everything if I didn't smarten up.
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Like my friend Jeff Lubin told me, Carrie, the only way to have a real life in a real future is to let go and move on from Giovanni.
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My romantic bubble had burst.
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People take hits in life.
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Prices drop, accidents happen, and tough times arise.
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When they do, you've got to get tough.
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People will leave you, but you can't abandon yourself.
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Listen to the liquid gold from Spooner who said, in crucial decisions, use your brain first, heart second.
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That is a money shot, friends.
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Take that one to the bank.
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Despite having one good foot on shaky ground, I was still standing.
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I was a sure thing.
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My value wasn't going to go down, and I didn't need to get sold on auction.
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I was just a little banged up and had taken a tumble like the stock market.
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Having the goods or being good enough wasn't the issue.
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I needed to believe in my own worth.
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Like proud Mary, I would find a way to move forward, and I wouldn't worry about my broken heart either.
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Keep rolling down the river, be more like Tina, and get rid of Ike.
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I just had to pay a bunch of penalties to get back on track.
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Love was like the stock market, unpredictable and always going up and down.
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Surviving heartbreak is as nerve-wracking, anxiety-inducing, gut wrenching, and harrowing as the down nosediving.
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Neither is for the faint of heart.
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I just needed to use my head and common sense, lean into my street smarts and keep my side of the street clean.
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After I got back from Coinstar, I called all my VIP clients and told them I had only a few dates left for the summer.
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In forty-five minutes I pulled in$4,000 in session fees.
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I was back.
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For many, getting out of a toxic relationship cost them everything.
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People lose their health and wealth, or worse, their lives from falling in love with the wrong person.
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I was one of the lucky ones.
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I had a lot of friends and resources who helped me get to the other side.
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I realized how fortunate I was to have a wealth of good friendships.
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I also knew that many did not, or were like me, too beaten down and couldn't use their voice to ask for help.
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Knowing this, I made it my life mission to leave no woman behind who found herself in a similar situation.
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Finally, I would use my voice, the voice Spooner loved, to become a radio personality and be heard on airwaves globally.
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I started my podcast, Shot at Love, a show created as a resource and guide to help others break free from unhealthy relationships.
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Recently, I posted on social media about the awards Shot at Love earned.
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I took home four communicator awards of distinction for best host, show, and individual episodes and entertainment.
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One of the comments on my social media posts were these words from the famous writer himself, John Spooner.
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Spooner said, Carrie, no one like you.
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Funny, smart, and a killer creative.
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Miss seeing you, miss the improper.
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Virtual hugs, John.
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Spooner was right.
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You can fix any problem and change your life with creativity and good ideas.
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But being creative and having good ideas isn't enough.
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The wisest investment you can make is banking on yourself.
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And it starts with this big wheel turning to a different tune on my Tina Turner playlist, switching out Proud Mary for Better Be Good To Me.
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Looking for love?
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My brand new book, Shot It Love, is out now.
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You can grab your copy today on Amazon.
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If you'd like to stay connected, get exclusive updates, and be the first to hear about Shot At Love live single events, join the mailing list at shot at lovebook.com.
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Don't miss your chance to change the way you see love in yourself.
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