Aug. 15, 2025
Love on the Spectrum: All Aboard the Love Train!
Send us a text When Tina Zhu Xi Caruso and Pari Kim met on Love on the Spectrum Season 3, viewers worldwide fell in love with their authentic connection. Their story isn't just about finding romance on reality TV—it's about embracing who you truly are, regardless of what others might think. The magic of Tina and Pari's relationship stems from their fearless self-expression. As Pari puts it, "I literally go on the train in a ball gown. I don't care. People could stare and say whatever they wa...
When Tina Zhu Xi Caruso and Pari Kim met on Love on the Spectrum Season 3, viewers worldwide fell in love with their authentic connection. Their story isn't just about finding romance on reality TV—it's about embracing who you truly are, regardless of what others might think.
The magic of Tina and Pari's relationship stems from their fearless self-expression. As Pari puts it, "I literally go on the train in a ball gown. I don't care. People could stare and say whatever they want, but it makes me happy." This unapologetic authenticity—Pari with her passion for trains and Tina with her photography and disability advocacy—creates a foundation for genuine connection that many neurotypical daters struggle to achieve.
What makes their bond particularly special is their shared understanding of profound loss. Both having experienced the death of a parent, they connect through empathy that might not have existed with other cast members. This shared grief, combined with their neurodivergent perspectives, allows them to relate on a deeper level. As Tina explains, "I feel like, for me at least, and Pari were a perfect match because we understood parent loss."
Their remarkable optimism stands out as a defining characteristic. Rather than letting disabilities or challenges define them, they embrace life with enthusiasm and determination. "If we are constantly negative, we'll never get anything done," Pari explains. "I gotta get out there and live my life and do what makes me happy." This resilience—whether it's Pari singing at Harvard Square or Tina advocating for the disability community—teaches us all about finding joy despite obstacles.
Want to find your shot at love? Take inspiration from Tina and Pari: be fearless about putting yourself out there, prioritize kindness in all interactions, and focus on the little, meaningful moments that build connection. As Pari wisely notes, "If you spend your whole life worrying about others, you're never going to be happy."
This episode was recorded at Kimpton Marlowe Hotel in Cambridge, MA. To find out more about Shot At Love or purchase Kerry Brett's new book Shot@Love, A Celebrity Photographer's Unfiltered Lens on Dating and Finding Love, go to www.shotatlovebook.com
00:00 - Introduction to Tina and Perry
04:42 - How They Got on Love on the Spectrum
10:05 - Fearlessly Being Themselves
16:29 - Finding Love Through Shared Experiences
24:05 - Optimism and Overcoming Challenges
28:45 - Fame, Bullying, and Advocacy
37:39 - Closing Song and Dating Tips
WEBVTT
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I'm Carrie Brett and this is Shot at Love.
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Some people find love on a train, some on a dating app and some on a reality show like Love on the Spectrum.
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Today's guests are two unforgettable stars from Season 3, tina Jushi Caruso and Pari Kim.
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They're inspiring, magical and have taught me so much about overcoming challenges and why we should always remain hopeful and positive.
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Today, we'll hear their story about finding love on the rails.
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I'm Keri Brett, and Shot at Love starts now.
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Today, we have Perry and Tina from Love on the Spectrum with us, and they're going to share their tips for finding love, and I'm so excited to have you guys here.
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Thanks for being here.
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So, perry, you're the purple tea princess of the MBTA, and Tina, you're a disability advocate for autism and CVI, and also a recent mass art graduate as I went to school there as well and a talented photographer, and I want to hear all about your lives.
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Everyone is obsessed with you guys.
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It's amazing, the show's amazing.
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You guys are so great.
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How did you both end up on the show?
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For me, it was after watching season two of the Australian one that it said on the screen at the end now filming in the US.
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So go to this site and apply to be a cast member on the US show.
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I, literally after the show, I was up in my parents' house or the flat, I don't know exactly how to describe it so I ran downstairs.
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after it, I yelled before going downstairs I'm going to be on this thing and then I ran downstairs, found where I needed to apply, applied and then I guess I thought it was a scam.
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At first I did not realize.
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They did not contact me for season one nor season two, so I was like is this a scam?
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did was like is this a scam?
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Did they ghost me?
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Is this a real thing?
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What is going on?
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So then I realized but then one day in 2023, it started in May of 2023, they had me go through the interview process.
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I first did an interview two years after that and then three years after.
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I don't remember the process, but I remember last May getting a call from one of the directors, sean, and he called me and said do you want to be on the show?
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I was like, yes, I thought this was.
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I did not know what this thing was.
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I thought it was a scam, but I'm glad that you guys finally called me back.
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That's awesome.
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And now I'm on this wild ride with Perry.
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That's amazing.
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So, perry, how did you get on the show?
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So for me, basically, what happened was well, I've seen it before and I know my cousins and aunt introduced it to me and I was always thinking I wish I could be on, and people have told me you'd be so good on Love on the Spectrum, but I didn't know when I could actually get on, but I think it was last year.
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Early last year a friend of mine who's in the T musical, megan Paluzzi, on Instagram she sent me a link to the casting call and there was an email where you can email the producers and set up an interview to apply.
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So I did just that and the interview went very well.
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They seemed to really like my energy and then a minute after we were done, they literally called back the next minute and said we like what we see and we want to continue to the next step, and the rest is history.
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That's right.
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Well, I think it's amazing.
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I think you guys are really brave.
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I think a lot of people would be very afraid to go on a reality show.
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Were you guys nervous at all?
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Not really, because my reaction of screaming down to my parents before I exited the door to go downstairs to my apartment was I'm going to be on this thing Right.
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So I was kind of nervous.
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I'm not really nervous because I actually went to two autism camps.
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It's no longer exists, sadly, or it was autism as well as different disabilities.
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They had social issues around having conversations.
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So it was a specific camp called drama play that was specifically for filming and learning to be on set right so they would basically give us a script and it was basically an acting camp.
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It was amazing.
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We're basically on set all the time or waiting behind set to go on to set during camp, and it just really when I was ready, when I learned about love on the spectrum, I I knew I could be in front of the cameras at this camp.
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Right, you knew it.
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I think this is the interesting thing to me.
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So when people are trying to find love and date, they can't put themselves out there.
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Harry, you say that you live your life unapologetically.
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Exactly.
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And I think there's a lot to be learned by that for sure.
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And then the good thing about one of the great things about Tina is that Tina just rolls with anything.
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She just goes with the flow, and I think people get in their heads and they can't just be themselves.
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And you guys can, and I think everybody on the show can.
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What do you think about that?
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Do you ever question the choices that you make?
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I saw you on Instagram and you were singing at Harvard Square.
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You just put yourself out there.
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How do you do that?
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It's amazing.
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Thank you, I'm just unapologetically myself and don't worry about it, I'll do what feel like excited to do and just whatever I'm feeling in that moment, like yesterday as we have some buskers and they had some friends taking turns singing and playing guitar and I was like, can I sing a song?
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They're like sure, he gave me the mic and they like looked up the music in the chords online and tried to follow along.
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So it just felt natural and it was a lot of fun.
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so well, I think the energy you mentioned the energy and I feel like you will that, tina, where you're like I'm ready, I've gone to this camp and I'm gonna put myself out there.
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I think you guys were born with this magical ability to shine so brightly and not be afraid, and I think fear is a big thing.
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You didn't have any fear not really that's amazing.
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I know sometimes I was like more anxious, like am I doing this right, but not like stage fright right?
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it's just really excited how was it with the cameras in front of you all the time?
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it was much different from camp because it was we had it where it was just basically a family video camera in our face all the time, because they not have the money like love on the spectrum and big productions of movies and stuff and tv shows, but I think it was a little different.
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But I also felt like it was okay because it just was for me at least.
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I just need to be looking at her, which they wanted me to do, so it was just very easy that I had a target and I just would get in conversation with her and forget about all about the fact that I was on the show.
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How about you, perry?
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about the fact that I was on the show.
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How about you, perry?
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Yeah, I kind of just like do the thing, though, and like try to act as natural as possible, as if the cameras aren't there, but sometimes, like, other people go and they'll like say what is this for?
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Are you on the news?
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And then it's like here they are, the camera crew with the huge boom mics I think that's what they're called All the equipment, and people are just staring wondering what's going on, but we can't tell.
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So it's like we have to make something up, right?
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Tina, you were quiet, you were really quiet.
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You weren't really yourself, I feel like, because you're not quiet.
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I know my first scene on Love of a Spectre.
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I was begging them to give me a visual description because I am blind, slash, visually impaired.
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I did not know if I was looking at the tablecloth or Perry, to be honest.
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So I was literally because I talked to some of my friends to also know more about cortical cerebral vision.
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They were like you are searching the room to find where you needed to go the first scene.
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So I was basically just lost looking for the thing and I realized the purple thing in the room was Perry.
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So it was just really funny because they made me go on a double blind date because they did not tell me first.
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That's what I'm saying.
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This is nerve wracking because of all the distractions around you.
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It's also because, cvi, we do not do well with clutter, so the room was already very cluttered, with tons of tables, tons of chairs.
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So I just did not know if where perry was in the room, because they didn't give me a description of her right and you really couldn't see her no so do you think love is blind?
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then why is it called like the name of a show?
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Wait, is that a show?
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yeah, this is where love is blind and love on the spectrum is a real one.
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Yeah, oh yeah, I knew it sounded familiar but maybe it's literally star, like blind people and people with vision impaired.
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No, no, they keep you in a separate room.
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Oh, that would be cool to actually do one for actual blind, vision impaired people.
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I think that would be cool.
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Well, everyone deserves love Exactly and this is the other piece about the two of you that I find really interesting is that you love trains and Tina loves photography, and you have differences, but you embrace each other's quirks or things that you can't live without.
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I mean, you can't live without trains.
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That's who you are, and everything is going to be terrific.
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And I know that you, tina won people's hearts because you avoided gluten, but that was so nice.
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So I feel like kindness.
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I feel like people don't look for kindness and, as someone who has been in the dating space for 10 years, I have really kind of looked for the themes or the things that bring people together and have them stay together.
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And what I see on the show if you end up being together all the cast members on the show in this is my opinion somehow overcome all the hard things, but you always are optimistic.
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Is that an autism thing?
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I think it's a disability thing.
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Okay, explain that.
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I think it's a disability thing because I have found so many friends online.
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I have friends that are blind in Melbourne, australia, adelaide.
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I have some other friends.
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I think I have a blind friend in Germany.
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I have a couple of different disabilities, including blindness.
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I have one in Vancouver.
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They all disabled.
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People come into this life where we have to work 10 times harder than able-bodied people and when we have to come over adversity we almost become sometimes which I hate become inspiration porn because it's like we're doing something that other people can do easily.
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Right, it makes me sad that people sometimes see us in this light, but sometimes it's beautiful.
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Some of us just have to figure it's always because we have to work 10 times harder than other people or they might not think.
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Some friends that I know are amputees or have mobility issues are adaptive athletes.
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I know a couple of friends who's hand-cycled the New York Marathon.
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I have a friend that has scoliosis, who had to get the whole surgery, his back and all and has done 40 marathons, as well as some amputees who just run marathons for fun, like my friend Cedric.
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It's all about mindset in the disability community, but also that we just want to also be looked at as humans sometimes.
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Perry, what do you think?
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Yeah, go ahead, perry.
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Yeah, well for me.
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I mean can't speak for everyone else, but for me I feel like it's just well.
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Part of it could have been the influences.
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Ever since I was young I always loved watching, like fairy tale and fantasy movies, like Barbie and Disney, princess films where they live happily ever after and all the dreams come true.
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And I think, if they can do it, why can't I?
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So I always want to believe there's a happy ending, even though life can be tough, and I've gone through a lot of hardships and struggles.
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But if we are constantly negative we'll never get anything done and we'll stay depressed.
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So it's like I gotta get out there and live my life and do what makes me happy, and I don't.
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I'm not a quitter.
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I don't give up, even though some people say are stubborn or just let it go for crazy things like if I want something then, I find a way to achieve it like I want to go for my dreams.
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I don't care what people say.
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I'm going to do it and achieve it somehow.
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That's amazing, but I think people, when they're dating, they hold themselves back and they hold on to limiting beliefs, which you just gave.
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A bunch of examples, tina, where your friends are not allowing their disability to hold them back at all.
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I wish dating was like that.
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I think some people that are able-bodied, that are not autistic, might not have disabilities, that they're more self-conscious about themselves and what society wants from them.
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But being disabled and learning from my disabled friends with other disabilities is that we just want to have a good time.
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We have already exposed ourselves in different ways.
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We do some conversations and we start talking and maybe disability comes up.
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We're already pretty out there.
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As a disabled person right now, living in the US especially, you just have to be very open, even with invisible disabilities.
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Like you have to scream on the train, like today hey, I'm disabled, can I have a seat Right?
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Like I have to scream that.
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I wish I did not have to scream that.
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But you have learned to put yourself out there and, like you, got your Charlie Pass.
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Yeah, is that what it's called?
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Charlie Card, charlie Card.
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See, I made you a joke.
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That is amazing, and I think people just hold themselves back by coming up with excuses of why they can't do it.
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So, perry, what do you think?
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Yeah, well, I know things can be tough and, of course, if you have, like disabilities, your life's going to be much different than if you don't.
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You have your own struggles and challenges, but it doesn't mean your life's ruined or lost, because, like, there's still hope and you can still find a way to achieve your dreams.
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There's a quote I like I forgot, who said but it's like something like find a way to reach onto the stars, or even, if you have to, like, latch onto them differently, there's a way somehow.
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Oh, I love that thank you.
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I think this show is so successful because you bear it all.
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You really show everything.
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Like you said, this is who I am.
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You have to take me or leave me because this is I can't change and I have these limitations or whatever.
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But that just pulls the audience in so close and we find ourselves just rooting for you.
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We're like oh, please, tina, make it over to Perry and I hope that they like each other and I hope that they kiss on the train over the Longfellow Bridge, and all that Because you're so endearing.
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It's phenomenal how the show is so viral.
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It's amazing to me, and I think when you are vulnerable and you aren't afraid to really put yourself out there, that's when you'll be successful in dating.
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I agree.
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I feel like some people need to.
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I hate to say it.
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Some people need to drink in order to get to the point where neurodiverse people can flourish in dating, where just letting go and doing themselves.
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You know, I'm saying being able to be themselves, like we already are out there but some non-neurodivergent people I know need to at least have one or two drinks.
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I know also some neurodivergent people who need drinks to do the same thing, but sometimes they just need to be drinking which is kind of sad in order to get to the place that some neurodivergent people can be at.
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I don't think you have to be neurodivergent to feel that way.
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I think a lot of people have to do that or they feel that.
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Or it's pressure from the society I forget what it's called pressure from social norms and stuff to drink in order to fit in, and it's really sad Right.
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So we talked about you being fearless and putting yourselves out there and having this confidence, whether you feel ready or not.
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Like you said, perry, you're going to do it.
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If you want to do some kind of performance art at the train, you're gonna do it yep, it's like I don't care.
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I literally go on the train in a ball gown like I don't care.
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People could stare and say whatever they want, but it makes me happy.
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I'm doing it.
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It's not illegal, it's not hurting anyone, so why not?
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And I've learned like, even though it's really hard, there's always gonna be some people criticize you or just hate for no reason.
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But you know what?
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You really just got to ignore them, block them out.
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That's what the block buttons are, because, at the end of the day, the way you live your life is up to you and what matters most is your own happiness.
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If you spend your whole life worrying about others, you're never going to be happy.
00:18:05.316 --> 00:18:07.584
So you can't worry about what they think.
00:18:07.584 --> 00:18:09.650
You gotta just live for you well.
00:18:09.750 --> 00:18:24.468
I think you guys, being so young, you have figured out what really matters and you're having so much fun, and I think that's the best part of this show is that we enjoy seeing you ride the trains together.
00:18:24.468 --> 00:18:28.577
These are very simple things that you guys are doing, but you make it exciting.
00:18:28.577 --> 00:18:38.176
I think people are missing the boat and they're looking for somebody who checks all these boxes, and it seems like you just find the simple things.
00:18:38.176 --> 00:18:42.051
What do you guys like to do for fun?
00:18:42.953 --> 00:18:46.030
Ice cream, ice cream Real fanning Right.
00:18:47.366 --> 00:18:48.073
Real fanning.
00:18:48.073 --> 00:18:54.056
At least I can still take photos, so definitely it's photography yeah, it's very photogenic and colorful.
00:18:54.096 --> 00:18:58.992
I think it might be the most colorful subway system, at least in the us, if not the world.
00:18:59.273 --> 00:19:02.605
It really is uh, what else do we like to do?
00:19:02.645 --> 00:19:09.737
get felipe's oh yeah, we say yeah, some union park pizza.
00:19:09.916 --> 00:19:18.808
Oh yes, the those two places have gluten-free and dairy-free options I love that, thank you now I wonder if you're able to talk about this or if you know.
00:19:18.868 --> 00:19:20.556
But I'm wondering do you think that?
00:19:20.556 --> 00:19:26.269
I know they picked you independently, but do you think they like the idea that you guys were both from Boston?
00:19:27.510 --> 00:19:28.471
I don't know.
00:19:28.471 --> 00:19:42.546
I have some theories about maybe they were they wanted I I don't know if I've told Perry yet I have some hunches that they going to something that I said on the show in a little bit.
00:19:42.546 --> 00:20:07.696
I have a hunch that they did not want to put perry with someone that did not understand parent loss and would not understand her, because I feel like, for me at least, me and perry were a perfect match because we understood that I did not want to be with someone like tyler or even with madison or anyone that had living two sides parents.
00:20:07.696 --> 00:20:30.355
I think they were looking for the correct moment because they knew how hard Perry's dad's death was, to put her with someone that would understand and would empathize and, as someone who also has lost a dad and some other family members from suicide, I felt like they put the correct person.
00:20:30.355 --> 00:20:36.294
I don't think Perry would have been happy with anyone else, especially on the spectrum because we say the darndest things.
00:20:36.294 --> 00:20:41.194
It was someone that did not understand the hard things in her life like that.
00:20:41.916 --> 00:20:42.719
Do you think that Perry?
00:20:42.719 --> 00:21:02.016
Yeah, definitely would have been, I feel, more left out if they had both parents and if it was like someone neurotypical, they might have less patience and be like I don't want to like stereotype all neurotypicals, but I think with neurodivergence it's just we're all in this community and they're typically more understanding of your quirks and differences.
00:21:02.016 --> 00:21:03.847
Like we just get it somehow.
00:21:03.847 --> 00:21:12.291
It's like we speak the same language, although literally, but also even in just the way we stem and have fun and all the things.
00:21:12.633 --> 00:21:25.266
Like you just get it but I also feel like it being around neurodiverse people, even after losing my dad, because I lost him at 13, going on 14.
00:21:25.266 --> 00:21:29.195
Don't remember, my mom says I might have been 14 to 15.
00:21:29.195 --> 00:21:34.396
I don't remember, but I knew how brutal the neurodiverse community was to me.
00:21:34.396 --> 00:21:46.711
I had friends at school who would get so uncomfortable when I wanted to talk about my dad that they would switch the conversation or go to talk about how their dad brought them to a Red Sox game that weekend.
00:21:46.711 --> 00:21:50.256
I'm like dudes, that's not what I want to hear.
00:21:50.256 --> 00:21:52.250
I want you to support me.
00:21:52.250 --> 00:21:54.672
Why are you not supporting me?
00:21:54.825 --> 00:22:14.494
So I think I'm glad that they put Perry with someone that understood, because I think she might have gotten into situations where the person did not really comprehend what is parent loss and would have put her into situations where she would have been so uncomfortable that she would not want to be in the room filming Right.
00:22:14.494 --> 00:22:19.790
That's why I was thinking, because I've been through it and it changes you.
00:22:19.790 --> 00:22:21.075
Yeah, that's what happens.
00:22:21.075 --> 00:22:25.311
But I'm glad I'm with her and we can do other things other than talk about parent loss.
00:22:25.311 --> 00:22:34.665
But we can also be in the same wavelength, like I understand how she feels sometimes and I know she loves trains and that helps her.
00:22:34.665 --> 00:22:49.737
I feel like it was really important for them to find someone else that understood it, because I don't know if there would be other participants who would have been kind, would have had the filters to understand what she was going through.
00:22:49.737 --> 00:22:51.449
And you're both close with your moms.
00:22:51.449 --> 00:22:55.230
Yeah, oh, yes, oh, my God, don't get me started with my stepdad.
00:22:55.230 --> 00:22:57.432
They met on the dating app, did you?
00:22:57.652 --> 00:22:58.094
Yeah.
00:22:58.114 --> 00:23:00.108
Which one it was not.
00:23:00.108 --> 00:23:01.334
I think it was Matt.
00:23:01.334 --> 00:23:04.114
It was Matt's Christian dating site, or not?
00:23:04.785 --> 00:23:07.008
But who's Jewish in your in?
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