Sept. 10, 2025

Healing After Divorce with Alfred "AJ" Robinson: A Black Man's Journey

Healing After Divorce with Alfred "AJ" Robinson: A Black Man's Journey

Send us a text What happens when the silent pain of men going through divorce finally finds its voice? In this powerful conversation, author Alfred "AJ" Robinson shares the divine calling that led him to write "Notes of an Unfinished Journey: A Black Man's Divorce Memoir" – a book that breaks open the often-unspoken emotional struggles men face during marital dissolution. "I didn't see any men speaking this pain," AJ reveals, explaining how God woke him one morning with a clear directive: wr...

Send us a text

What happens when the silent pain of men going through divorce finally finds its voice? In this powerful conversation, author Alfred "AJ" Robinson shares the divine calling that led him to write "Notes of an Unfinished Journey: A Black Man's Divorce Memoir" – a book that breaks open the often-unspoken emotional struggles men face during marital dissolution.

"I didn't see any men speaking this pain," AJ reveals, explaining how God woke him one morning with a clear directive: write for those without a voice. What followed was a raw, authentic journey capturing not just his experience, but the stories of fifteen different men navigating the turbulent waters of divorce. The result? A chorus of voices creating a bridge for deeper understanding between men and women.

AJ eloquently challenges our societal conditioning around masculinity and emotion. While women have numerous social outlets designed for emotional expression – beauty parlors, nail salons, girls' trips – men are taught to "man up" without adequate tools for processing their feelings. "It's not that men aren't doing it," he explains. "The men that aren't doing it may not have the information to do it." This perspective shift opens the door to compassion rather than criticism.

Beyond personal narrative, the conversation reveals practical wisdom for healing. AJ emphasizes forgiveness as essential after divorce, sharing how writing became his therapy and how community support, spiritual guidance, and professional counseling create pathways forward. His gentle reassurance – "You are okay. Life will continue" – offers a lifeline to listeners currently navigating similar pain.

Connect with AJ through his website blackmandivoircememoir.com to explore his work and the men's community he's building – a safe space where men can finally speak the unspeakable and begin their healing journeys together. Mention you heard him on this podcast to receive his free ebook. Click Below Link to get your Free Ebook

5 Biggest Misconceptions About Men’s Relationship Pain

Connect with Alfred "AJ" Robinson

website: blackmandivorcememoir.com

email: info@blackmandivorcememoir.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AlfredJRob

Instagram: @alfredjrobinson


Stay tuned for the next episode of Ready Set Collaborate with Wanda Pearson. Subscribe - Follow and Like Ready Set Collaborate with Wanda Pearson

00:00 - Welcome to Ready Set Collaborate

05:34 - AJ Robinson's Powerful Divorce Memoir

11:04 - Pain, God's Calling, and Finding Courage

15:22 - Challenges Men Face During Divorce

18:40 - Lessons on Strength and Resilience

21:46 - Men's Tools for Emotional Expression

24:30 - Final Thoughts and Contact Information

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Thank you.

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Collaborations fuse success.

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Tune in for inspiring stories, expert insights and game-changing conversations.

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Let's build, connect and thrive together.

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Remember, collaboration is the key to success.

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Welcome to the Ready Set Collaborate podcast with Wanda Pearson, where collaboration truly is the key to success.

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I'm your host, Wanda Pearson.

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Today, I'm honored to sit down with author Alfred AJ Robinson.

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Aj's powerful new book A Black Man's Divorce Memoir takes us on a raw and courageous journey through heartbreak, identity and healing.

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His story sheds light on the challenges many men face, but rarely voice, offering wisdom and hope for moving forward after life's deepest losses.

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Get ready for an open, authentic conversation that will inspire resilience and strength, and I just want to say thank you so much, aj, for coming on my podcast.

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I really appreciate you.

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You're being here.

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Wanda, I really appreciate you asking me.

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I'm humbled and grateful to have an opportunity, which you have done with your platform, what I've seen, the different conversations, I'm just grateful to be asked.

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Thank you Absolutely, and you've got a short bio.

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So if you want to add something to this bio, we do, but we're going to dive into your bio and then also dive into your questions, because we both grow.

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Listen, aj, we both be busy.

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We be getting out there getting it in, Absolutely.

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I'm actually just coming from an event.

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I'm out here in beautiful New Jersey, Hoboken, New Jersey right here on the pier I can practically touch the Empire State Building.

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Wow, that's awesome.

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Yeah, I miss that.

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My husband's from New Jersey.

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We went to college in New Jersey, so I miss that.

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But I miss the snow, christmas time, but I don't miss the weather.

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So I'm in Atlanta.

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I like my warm weather.

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That's addictive.

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Yeah, exactly.

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So let's talk about your bio.

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So AJ is an armored veteran, father, hr practitioner, speaker and bestselling author of Notes of an Unfinished Journey a Black Man's Divorce Manual.

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Speaker and bestselling author of Notes of an Unfinished Journey A Black Man's Divorce Manual.

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That was the shortest bio.

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Now do you want to add something a little bit too?

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Okay, yeah, I'm not done yet.

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Look at that A divorce manual.

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I love it.

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I love it.

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Black Man's Divorce Manual.

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And it's great that you shared that, aj, because a lot of men don't how they feel.

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So I love that you're sharing your story.

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I know with my story my book God's Grace Through the Fire, from Struggle to Triumph it was hard to write that book and that's where the forgiveness comes in, because I was digging deep down inside of what was going on with me and I'm sure the same thing with you as far as that.

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So thank you for sharing that.

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I appreciate it.

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So now you want to add a little bit more to your bio.

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You know what I'm going to do.

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Better than that.

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I'm going to actually do better than that.

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I am going to crack this open, okay, and I'm going to read a couple of lines.

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Okay, hello, and welcome to an excerpt of my imperfect story.

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I am not a perfect man, nor husband or father.

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I have made, and continue to make, poor decisions and choices from my trauma filled mind.

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Let that sink in before we begin.

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I'm a black man, following a calling to write this memoir for you, the reader.

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This preface serves as a separate peek into my mindset and reasoning.

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That isn't even a word.

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As this is my first book, there will be some interesting plays on grammar and language, but trust me, the meal is more important than the plate it is on.

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I love that the meal is more important than the plate it is on.

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I love that the meal is more important than the plate is on.

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I love that you think about that, sd, but it's so true on sunday we go and a man say it's in the book.

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On sunday, a man say it's in the book, I didn't write it.

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But the man say on sunday the man say it's in the book, I didn't write it.

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But if the man say on Sunday, the man say it's in the book.

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You know what I mean.

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So I just read it when it comes out the book?

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Yeah, it's in the book, it's in the book and you actually share that here.

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So what inspired you to write the Black Man's Divorce Menu?

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Memoir I'm sorry, memoir.

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Memoir Pain, pain.

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I didn't see anyone out here saying what I say or in the way that I say.

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I didn't see any men speaking this pain.

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And God woke me up one morning.

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You know how God does.

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He don't have no rules.

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He do whatever you want to do.

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We had this conversation.

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Anyway, I won't talk about my conversation with God.

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Anyway, god woke me up this morning and he said write this.

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As a matter of fact, I was in Atlanta.

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I was actually in Atlanta when he told me to do this and he said write and keep writing until I tell you to stop.

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And so I wrote and wrote an outline and I was like, oh, I don't want to say this.

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This is not about you, this is about for the men who don't have a voice and the black men who are afraid to speak, the men who are afraid to speak, the men who are in terror in their relationships you are going to speak for those men who are afraid to speak.

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I love that.

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I love cause you know what God told me the same thing.

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I had.

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Yeah, we got to talk about that.

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God does whatever he wants to do when he wants to do it Right, and he keep pushing me to stuff and I'm like, okay, I said I would never write a book.

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And I get a call God told me to call you.

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And then I get another call you want to be in my collaboration.

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Then he said, okay, now you're going to write your own book.

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You know, the God's grace, you got another book to write.

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It's called Children of.

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Divorce.

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Okay, I like that.

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I like that.

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All right, you're going to come out with that one soon.

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So how did you find the courage to be transparent about your personal journey?

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be transparent about your personal journey.

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Again, we're still talking about God, so it's really not my decision.

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It's literally what I just said.

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This has to be heard.

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And even to another question even as I'm moving forward in this, there's no one having a conversation the way that I'm having it, and so that God keeps pushing me forward, as you just said, you know what I mean.

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My answers are always going to be with God, because he keeps saying do this because you can't reach enough men.

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And when I get in podcasts and places like this, someone will hear my voice and hear what I have to say or hear what I read and be like okay, that book looks like me.

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There's some things that I see in that cover that looks like me and I get that.

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However, it communicates, however God communicates and bring people.

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I'm a voice for the silent lion, absolutely.

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Absolutely.

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I love that, and because a lot of men won't do that, what you're doing here.

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So divorce can carry stigma, especially for men.

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What unique challenges did you face as a Black man navigating this?

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It's painful.

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It's painful to have conversations.

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The challenges are behind closed doors, you understand.

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The challenges are when actually having these conversations and talking about the times I was in pain and helping to heal men and women, a lot of women.

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Here's another thing that's a real challenge.

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My sisters, my women, my married women.

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They have a misconception of divorce, just a word.

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It's like using profanity to a church person and because of that stigma a human being doesn't hear anything else.

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They just hear divorce, they just hear a profanity word.

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So they shut off.

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But the book is not about divorce.

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The book is about men's pain.

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The book is a bridge so that conversations can be had between men and women, so that healing and forgiveness can be carved.

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The first thing after divorce that should happen is forgiveness some way somehow, or else you're going to carry that with you for the rest of your life.

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I'm hoping I'm answering your questions.

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No, you are, and it's good because we talk about forgiveness.

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But yeah, I wanted to ask you what was the most difficult chapter of your healing process and how did you overcome it?

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writing.

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Writing helped.

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Writing was therapy for me.

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Right, writing was therapy and again I'm putting God in me because I didn't write it.

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It was my, where my editor went through the book with me and there's some places in there.

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This book is not just about me.

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There's other men's voice.

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All my books will have other men's voice.

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So this is not just, but please let's make that clear.

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This book is not just Alfred.

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This book is a whole collaborative.

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There's about 15, 15 different men in that book and in all my books, so it's not just my point.

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The pain and clarity and speaking to the point and giving examples of other people can relate to the example.

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You understand what I'm saying.

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There's a beautiful chapter.

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The chapters are who, what, when, where and how.

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There's a chapter about a court scene, how.

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There's a chapter about a court scene and that, that man that was in that court scene.

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There are so many men that could you resonate with that.

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You know what I mean, and it's a beautiful opportunity for women to be able to read that and be able to understand what a man feels in that situation, because he's completely powerless when he walks in that room.

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You understand I'm saying there's some segments like that.

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That's awesome and we need to hear this, because it's usually a woman that does this, and then it could be bitterness between bitterness and men and women.

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But I'm so glad you wrote this because I don't remember anybody writing a book like what you're writing here as far as how you feel as far as divorce is concerned, so were there moments when writing felt more like therapy than storytelling?

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Again, and I was alluding to the fact when my editor went through the book and we went through the book Tooth and Comb and there was a part in the book.

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You have to buy the book.

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You can pick up the book.

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You can just message me info at Black man Divorce Memoir.

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That's info at Black man Divorce Memoir or my website, black man Divorce Memoir dot com is my website.

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You can go on there, choose and order the book.

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We'll get the book out to you.

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We usually send it out on the 1st of the 15th.

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Please order the book so you can read it yourself.

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There was a part that I read in that book and I was like, oh my God, I don't believe that's there.

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And then we go back to that conversation with me and God I said God, let me, let me talk to you a second, but the book was already printed.

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I'm done.

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So.

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There is therapy, there's healing in there for men, because there's something in there that some man went through that he can resonate with.

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And then that's why I have my tribe, that's why we have the tribe that we're creating, the my tribe, that's why we have the tribe that we're creating, so when men can get together and have these conversations in a safe space with someone who knows it.

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I've done my 30 years.

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Yeah, yeah, I can believe it.

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Look, I got 44 years.

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It's all, god, they say prayer is a real thing.

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Prayer is a real thing yeah, yeah, it's funny because I said I would never get married.

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God said oh, yes, you are.

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Now look at me 44 years later.

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Oh, yes, you are.

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Thank.

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God, thank God, it's better to have someone than not have someone, because that loneliness is another piece that I wrote about.

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That is a whole different language.

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It really is.

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It really is, but no, I'm blessed, I'm really blessed.

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Yes, it really is, but no, I'm blessed, I'm really blessed.

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And the thing about it, everything I say I never wouldn't actually my second collaboration, but never say never, because God has a plan for you.

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He sure did have a, he has a lot of, he has a sense of humor, doesn't he?

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Yes, he does.

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I keep telling you I'll be having conversations with him.

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I'll be having conversations with him.

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Let me talk to you for a minute.

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Yeah, he does, he does.

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It's a blessing, because we just never know and God knows who should be in our life and who shouldn't.

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Absolutely, and that's what we learned from here.

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So what lessons did you learn about yourself during and after divorce?

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I'm still learning them.

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One of the biggest things that I've learned is I'm stronger than I thought I was.

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I'm more resilient than I thought I was.

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I'm more powerful than I ever conceived myself to be, and I'm made in his likeness and there is nothing for me to be afraid of.

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So that's a short answer.

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Yeah, no, and that's that it really makes sense.

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It really makes sense because a lot of times people carry bitterness and hatred and anger and unforgiveness in their heart.

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So that's why God is definitely good to be part of the story, because he helped you get through the next chapter, because now you're like okay, what else can I write here without being negative but being on the positive side?

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What role did faith, family or community play in your healing journey?

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Because I know you said you have children.

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So here's the thing.

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This conversation is laced with God, which is so interesting because I'm being authentic.

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There's no.

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That's another thing about my book and my presence.

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And when I speak in podcasts or when I'm on stage or speak in men's groups or whatever the case may be, I bring something different to the stage because I'm authentically me.

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I don't come with a platform or a plan or anything like that.

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What would help me?

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My daughters helped me.

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I made sure I went through a lot of spiritual forgiveness work.

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I took a lot of forgiveness classes, forgiveness, radical forgiveness I spoke it.

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Forgiveness classes, forgiveness, radical forgiveness I've spoken, I've taught one or two classes on forgiveness and really dive into that.

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To release we talk about pain, bodies and release.

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So I did that early on, even before the book was published, because the book wouldn't have been able to publish.

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Listen, you can't publish an airplane with baggage on it.

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You understand.

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You can't publish something that's going to take off carrying a brick cylinder behind you.

00:14:07.985 --> 00:14:09.167
Yeah, you just.

00:14:09.167 --> 00:14:14.102
There is no animosity or hatred on my part toward my ex.

00:14:14.102 --> 00:14:19.621
I was very careful about, very worried and concerned about that because I cared for this woman.

00:14:19.621 --> 00:14:21.650
For still, don't you understand?

00:14:21.650 --> 00:14:24.427
I'm saying she's the mother of our beautiful children and neither one of us did anything wrong.

00:14:24.427 --> 00:14:25.264
That's an important thing I really want to do understand.

00:14:25.264 --> 00:14:26.238
I'm saying she's the mother of our beautiful children and neither one of us did anything wrong.

00:14:26.238 --> 00:14:27.181
That's an important thing.

00:14:27.181 --> 00:14:50.873
I really want to do this I'm being long-winded to get to the point of understanding that we did the best that we could possibly do with the tool that we had, and I'll make an analogy so it's simple for everyone on this podcast, as you hear this in this replay you can't tell a caveman he's ignorant when you're driving a Ferrari.

00:14:51.594 --> 00:15:01.282
Wow, if you have a Ferrari, you have no right to turn around and tell a caveman who's afraid of fire that he's the ignorant beast.

00:15:01.282 --> 00:15:07.562
What you should do is say, hey, you got the wheel going on, all right, listen, keep working out with the wheel.

00:15:07.562 --> 00:15:12.423
This is how it goes and that's the piece that we, as human beings don't take the time out.

00:15:12.423 --> 00:15:17.918
We are quick to call a caveman ignorant without realizing.

00:15:17.918 --> 00:15:18.940
Let me do it another way.

00:15:18.940 --> 00:15:29.605
We are quick to talk I'm in 1940 about how bad they were when you're coming from 2010 and 2020.

00:15:29.605 --> 00:15:36.841
We're quick to judge somebody from 1980 and say 1980 is ancient because it has a 19 in front of it.

00:15:36.841 --> 00:15:40.128
But without 1980, you wouldn't be here in 2025.

00:15:40.128 --> 00:15:41.745
I just keep things simple.

00:15:42.841 --> 00:15:44.407
Mm-hmm, I love that.

00:15:44.407 --> 00:15:45.506
Yeah, 1980.

00:15:45.506 --> 00:15:47.580
Yep, that was the year that I got married, 1981.

00:15:47.580 --> 00:15:50.982
I got married Soon after college.

00:15:50.982 --> 00:15:52.506
You know, same here.

00:15:52.807 --> 00:15:54.412
In New Jersey Yep, yep.

00:15:55.022 --> 00:15:57.347
Yes, no, that's a good way of putting that, though, aj.

00:15:57.347 --> 00:15:58.211
I appreciate that.

00:15:58.211 --> 00:16:05.331
So, for those who experienced divorce, what words of encouragement would you share if they're going through divorce now or have been through divorce?

00:16:05.951 --> 00:16:06.732
You are okay.

00:16:06.732 --> 00:16:08.495
You are okay.

00:16:08.495 --> 00:16:11.188
Life will continue.

00:16:11.188 --> 00:16:13.386
The ocean waves will continue.

00:16:13.386 --> 00:16:15.306
It doesn't feel like it.

00:16:15.306 --> 00:16:16.229
There's a pause.

00:16:16.229 --> 00:16:18.047
Everything stops moving.

00:16:18.047 --> 00:16:22.327
The heart leaps out the chest you can see it walking down the street.

00:16:22.327 --> 00:16:26.245
All the body aches, all of these things.

00:16:26.440 --> 00:16:28.119
Yes, I'm not a therapist.

00:16:28.119 --> 00:16:28.928
Yes, I'm not a.

00:16:28.928 --> 00:16:36.004
But time heals all things.

00:16:36.004 --> 00:16:41.048
And community, spirituality therapy.

00:16:41.048 --> 00:16:44.030
Get into God-based somehow.

00:16:44.030 --> 00:16:45.052
Get into a men's group.

00:16:45.052 --> 00:16:46.894
Join AJ's time.

00:16:46.894 --> 00:16:50.756
Get into some kind of group of peers who are going through the same thing.

00:16:51.216 --> 00:16:56.990
Definitely go to a spiritual person, whether it's a minister, pastor, whatever the case may be.

00:16:56.990 --> 00:17:00.484
And if you're not comfortable in any situation, I I get it.

00:17:00.484 --> 00:17:01.485
I understand that.

00:17:01.485 --> 00:17:03.450
Go to a therapist.

00:17:03.450 --> 00:17:14.528
You're licensed practitioner, but there are things that you are going to navigate through that you did not expect, that you don't know, so you need to have conversations with people who do.

00:17:14.528 --> 00:17:16.541
You know.

00:17:16.541 --> 00:17:18.250
That's why Alfred's eight-day tribe is eight-day tribe.

00:17:18.250 --> 00:17:18.834
We can have that.

00:17:18.834 --> 00:17:24.186
There's so much powerful stuff when we, as men, take the time out to relax.

00:17:24.186 --> 00:17:25.308
Let me do this.

00:17:25.308 --> 00:17:27.233
I do analogies, and I've been here all winter.

00:17:27.760 --> 00:17:30.605
Women have beauty parlors, women have nail salons.

00:17:30.605 --> 00:17:33.228
Women have girl days.

00:17:33.228 --> 00:17:38.201
Women have girl days.

00:17:38.201 --> 00:17:38.724
Women have girl trips.

00:17:38.724 --> 00:17:39.608
Women have all of these different things.

00:17:39.628 --> 00:17:40.092
No animosity toward men.

00:17:40.092 --> 00:17:40.513
What do men have?

00:17:40.513 --> 00:17:41.196
We have sports days.

00:17:41.196 --> 00:17:45.391
When we have sports days, we're not talking about our feelings, we're watching sports.

00:17:45.391 --> 00:17:47.704
You understand what I'm saying?

00:17:47.704 --> 00:17:48.748
There are different.

00:17:48.748 --> 00:17:51.244
Our genders have different outlets.

00:17:51.244 --> 00:18:06.932
The male gender does not have many outlets where we can express our feelings, because we're not educated or taught about expressing our feelings, whereas women are constantly talked about or given outlets to express their feelings.

00:18:06.932 --> 00:18:13.829
Those who think the reason I did all that is to say is that it's different tools that are trained and different dudes that are trained.

00:18:13.829 --> 00:18:16.386
The other way, we're trained not to express ourselves.

00:18:16.386 --> 00:18:18.888
Women are trained to express themselves all day, every day.

00:18:18.888 --> 00:18:24.471
So I don't know if any of you grew up on a playground, but if you go to a playground, there's this thing called a seesaw.

00:18:24.471 --> 00:18:31.821
You have a seesaw and someone sits on one end and one person goes up and someone sits on the other end and the other person goes up.

00:18:31.821 --> 00:18:35.845
So one side is being taught speak and one side is being taught don't speak.

00:18:35.845 --> 00:18:36.425
Don't speak.

00:18:37.125 --> 00:18:40.028
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

00:18:40.028 --> 00:18:41.890
Don't cry, men don't cry.

00:18:41.890 --> 00:18:43.990
I'm sure you were taught that, right?

00:18:43.990 --> 00:18:44.872
Don't cry.

00:18:45.251 --> 00:18:46.393
Absolutely.

00:18:46.393 --> 00:18:48.335
Man up, take it on the chin.

00:18:48.335 --> 00:18:50.715
Yeah, yeah, she left you.

00:18:50.715 --> 00:18:52.317
She left with another person.

00:18:52.317 --> 00:18:54.693
She took all the money.

00:18:54.693 --> 00:18:55.480
She took man up, that's okay.

00:18:55.480 --> 00:18:57.265
She took the house, she took the kids.

00:18:57.265 --> 00:18:58.346
Man up, take it.

00:18:58.346 --> 00:18:59.710
You don't have no place to stay.

00:18:59.710 --> 00:19:02.342
Man up, take it, it's okay.

00:19:02.342 --> 00:19:03.163
She can take everything.

00:19:03.163 --> 00:19:04.288
Man up.

00:19:04.288 --> 00:19:05.731
What about my feelings?

00:19:05.731 --> 00:19:08.468
Oh, we don't have anything written about your feelings.

00:19:08.468 --> 00:19:11.463
We don't know what to do with your feelings, so you just you got to figure that out.

00:19:12.184 --> 00:19:16.913
Yeah, and that is so true, and you're saying it, that is so true.

00:19:16.913 --> 00:19:20.843
And it's difficult for men, so they keep it inside and that's when you can.

00:19:20.843 --> 00:19:32.042
When it festers inside of you, it's hard to release it and what you're doing is actually helping those men to say, but a lot of the thing about it is, men, don't speak, like, in fact, I'm going to tell you.

00:19:32.042 --> 00:19:38.888
I'm going to tell you what me and my husband I had to teach him the four C's Communication, commitment, consideration and compromise.

00:19:38.888 --> 00:19:43.192
Those are the four C's, not just in relationships but also in business.

00:19:43.192 --> 00:19:45.535
Communicating and that's what kept us together.

00:19:45.535 --> 00:19:46.256
And also God.

00:19:46.256 --> 00:19:47.737
God is definitely part of that.

00:19:47.737 --> 00:19:48.877
You've got to have God.

00:19:48.917 --> 00:19:54.345
You have to have something else at the head, because the two of you, you have the same information.

00:19:54.345 --> 00:19:57.208
If you don't go, that's why I say go to therapy, go to a minister.

00:19:57.208 --> 00:20:01.712
You have to involve another piece of information, to involve healing.

00:20:01.712 --> 00:20:02.054
But go ahead.

00:20:02.054 --> 00:20:02.773
I apologize.

00:20:03.275 --> 00:20:04.375
Yeah, no, and that's so true.

00:20:04.375 --> 00:20:06.786
We're having a conversation here, so, no, it really doesn't make it.

00:20:06.786 --> 00:20:09.132
And I say prayer A lot of times.

00:20:09.132 --> 00:20:14.732
Men don't want to pray, but pray to ask God to help give you that strength and peace and forgiveness in your heart.

00:20:14.732 --> 00:20:18.286
Those are the things they really need to, but it's if they want to accept that.

00:20:18.286 --> 00:20:20.608
A lot of them don't want to accept that, but they do accept it.

00:20:20.608 --> 00:20:22.967
It makes it much easier to deal.

00:20:22.987 --> 00:20:26.242
Here's the thing, and I'm still agreeing with you, even if we're having a conversation.

00:20:26.242 --> 00:20:27.946
I'm careful.

00:20:27.946 --> 00:20:33.006
Words are powerful, yes, and I've had several conversations with people.

00:20:33.006 --> 00:20:39.769
Careful, it's not that men don't do it.

00:20:39.769 --> 00:20:41.888
Men don't have the tools.

00:20:41.888 --> 00:20:43.707
They weren't taught the tools.

00:20:43.707 --> 00:20:46.490
That's different from not doing.

00:20:46.490 --> 00:20:48.548
Not doing it is a decision.

00:20:48.548 --> 00:20:53.666
What I'm saying and I'm bringing this to the conversation I've had this conversation with several women.

00:20:54.039 --> 00:20:55.746
Most of them don't listen and they walk away.

00:20:55.746 --> 00:20:56.950
They don't want to hear that part.

00:20:56.950 --> 00:20:58.523
I've watched it several times.

00:20:58.523 --> 00:21:00.347
Men don't have the tools.

00:21:00.347 --> 00:21:01.832
Again, we're doing the seesaw.

00:21:01.832 --> 00:21:03.108
They weren't taught that.

00:21:03.108 --> 00:21:04.579
You understand what I'm saying.

00:21:04.700 --> 00:21:09.163
So, without me teaching you that, then we don't have a man in the household.

00:21:09.163 --> 00:21:14.726
So there's no man in the household and you have mom teaching you the best things that she can teach you.

00:21:14.726 --> 00:21:30.457
She does a great job with what she has, but without that male presence within the household, I'm not, please hear me, I'm not making any decisions, I'm just simple apples to apples, oranges to oranges, without being taught something.

00:21:30.457 --> 00:21:31.798
You go to school for what?

00:21:31.798 --> 00:21:35.192
You go to get a degree for what?

00:21:35.192 --> 00:21:36.020
You go to get a PhD for what?

00:21:36.020 --> 00:21:38.286
So that same thing applies to knowledge.

00:21:38.286 --> 00:21:40.490
So it's not that men aren't doing it.

00:21:40.490 --> 00:21:43.851
The men that aren't doing it may not have the information to do it.

00:21:43.851 --> 00:21:52.353
Now if they had the information and they choose not to do it now we go into the statement of they're not doing it.

00:21:52.353 --> 00:21:58.086
But the statement should be men may or people may or may not have that information.

00:21:58.086 --> 00:22:00.633
And if you don't have the information, you can't move forward.

00:22:01.380 --> 00:22:03.444
Yes, yes, and that is so true.

00:22:03.444 --> 00:22:11.182
And I tell you I'm glad you actually are telling people about that Tell people we got to have another conversation, so we're going to have another podcast.

00:22:11.182 --> 00:22:16.965
Because we're going to have a podcast, we're going to have a podcast in November.

00:22:17.006 --> 00:22:17.726
I'm here to serve.

00:22:18.026 --> 00:22:27.592
Yeah, as I celebrate my two years in November of having Ready Set Collaborate podcasts, I'm doing a different segment about forgiveness because that's my book that's coming out, so I want to have guests.

00:22:27.592 --> 00:22:30.753
So I want to have you on as my guest to talk about that.

00:22:30.874 --> 00:22:45.663
So tell people and I'm trying to get you out of here as soon as possible, so tell people how they can get in touch with you and also I'm going to have it in the show notes you gave them how they can get in touch with your book, but tell them also how they can get in touch with you as well.

00:22:45.723 --> 00:22:47.826
Absolutely Everything is through my website.

00:22:47.826 --> 00:22:49.508
One source is blackmandivorcememoircom.

00:22:49.508 --> 00:22:54.393
My email is simple info at blackmandivorcememoircom.

00:22:54.393 --> 00:22:56.795
Oh, wanda, please let me put this out there.

00:22:56.795 --> 00:22:59.866
Yeah, let me put this out there, and I've had this conversation sometimes.

00:22:59.866 --> 00:23:02.693
So the book is Notes of an Unfinished Journey.

00:23:02.693 --> 00:23:05.164
Okay, I'm not done yet.

00:23:05.164 --> 00:23:09.990
Yes, now what had happened was so it's Notes of an Unfinished Journey.

00:23:09.990 --> 00:23:10.672
I'm not done yet.

00:23:10.672 --> 00:23:18.007
That was meant to help men to speak my pain.

00:23:18.007 --> 00:23:18.588
What I went through?

00:23:18.588 --> 00:23:20.595
Nothing, but what had happened is I came to earth with this.

00:23:20.595 --> 00:23:21.438
Yeah, you know what I mean.

00:23:21.438 --> 00:23:22.319
And then I came to earth.

00:23:22.319 --> 00:23:23.241
Will jenna tell you?

00:23:23.241 --> 00:23:26.929
I'm a man and the book is a memoir.

00:23:26.929 --> 00:23:31.644
So the major point is the fact that it's notes of an unfinished journey.

00:23:31.644 --> 00:23:35.553
And then I'm a black man and this is my memoir.

00:23:35.553 --> 00:23:37.404
What has many voices in it?

00:23:37.404 --> 00:23:42.263
And my second book was still an unfinished journey, but it's about children of divorce.

00:23:43.185 --> 00:23:43.646
I love it.

00:23:43.646 --> 00:23:45.711
I love it because children go through divorce too.

00:23:46.000 --> 00:23:49.492
As far as they do and some of them never recover.

00:23:49.874 --> 00:23:50.476
No, they don't.

00:23:50.476 --> 00:23:53.226
And then they actually end up being going into another relationship as far as what they learned.

00:23:53.226 --> 00:23:53.507
No, this don't.

00:23:53.507 --> 00:23:55.814
And then they actually end up being going into another relationship as far as what they learned.

00:23:55.814 --> 00:23:56.696
No, this is great.

00:23:56.696 --> 00:24:00.900
I really love this and I am truly excited about you being on my podcast.

00:24:00.900 --> 00:24:08.028
Thank you, aj, for sharing your heartfelt journey and the lessons you've learned through such a challenging chapter of life.

00:24:08.028 --> 00:24:17.422
Your memoir reminds us that healing is possible and that, even brokenness, we can find strength and resilience.

00:24:17.422 --> 00:24:22.861
To my listeners, you'll like to connect with aj or get a copy of a black man's divorce memoir.

00:24:22.861 --> 00:24:25.046
Be sure to check the show notes for details.

00:24:25.046 --> 00:24:27.652
Until next time and hold on.

00:24:27.731 --> 00:24:34.486
anyone who puts why this podcast and in the notes will also get a copy of my free ebook.

00:24:34.486 --> 00:24:36.907
They will also get a copy of my free ebook.

00:24:36.907 --> 00:24:39.510
Absolutely, I appreciate being on this platform.

00:24:39.510 --> 00:24:44.174
Because I'm on this platform, I have to give back and I will gladly give back.

00:24:44.174 --> 00:24:49.703
Once you let me know that you saw me on pot waters, I will give you a copy of one of my events.

00:24:50.003 --> 00:24:50.586
I want a copy.

00:24:50.586 --> 00:24:51.828
I want a copy.

00:24:52.509 --> 00:24:52.911
It's done.

00:24:52.911 --> 00:24:53.972
It is done.

00:24:53.972 --> 00:24:55.424
Thank you very much, sister.

00:24:55.424 --> 00:24:56.307
It's been a pleasure.

00:24:56.307 --> 00:24:58.807
I hope that I served.

00:24:58.807 --> 00:25:01.789
I hope I helped someone in some shape, way or form.

00:25:01.789 --> 00:25:04.428
Again, info at Black Men Divorce Memoir.

00:25:04.428 --> 00:25:10.962
Just go right to my website, Black Men Divorce Memoir, and I'm putting a group of men together, you know what I mean, and we just talk it by.

00:25:11.644 --> 00:25:13.868
That's awesome, that's awesome, that's awesome.

00:25:13.868 --> 00:25:19.344
And so next time, this is Wanda Pearson reminding you that collaboration is the key to success.

00:25:19.344 --> 00:25:22.244
Let's keep building, healing and growing together.

00:25:22.244 --> 00:25:35.948
Thank you, aj, so much for being on my podcast again, and it is going to be a next time, because now we got more to talk about and good luck on that phenomenal forgiveness book that's going to help so many people.

00:25:36.308 --> 00:25:39.723
Yes, god is definitely using you, sister, definitely using you?

00:25:39.924 --> 00:25:40.587
Oh, he is.

00:25:40.587 --> 00:25:43.042
He is using me here, but no, thank you so much.

00:25:43.042 --> 00:25:45.489
You're welcome, thank you, thank you.

00:25:46.190 --> 00:25:47.153
Bye-bye, bye-bye.

00:25:47.153 --> 00:25:49.305
That wraps up another episode of Ready Set.

00:25:49.305 --> 00:25:51.028
Collaborate with Wanda Pearson.

00:25:51.028 --> 00:25:57.945
I hope you found inspiration and valuable insights to help you build meaningful connections and successful collaborations.

00:25:57.945 --> 00:26:04.923
If you enjoyed today's conversation, be sure to subscribe, share and stay tuned for more great discussions.

00:26:04.923 --> 00:26:08.287
Until next time, keep collaborating and making an impact.