From Grief to Legacy: A Conversation with Patricia D. Freudenberg

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Hey, everyone. Adrienne Barker speaks, no prep.

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Okay, so we did zero prep, but I do know Patricia,

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but I haven't seen her beautiful face, but I

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do know Patricia from Breakfast with Champions,

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Thursday mornings, I do the 7 .30 to 8 .30, and

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Patty's always there Monday through Friday, really

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helping everyone. So I'm like, Patty, I need

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to get to know you. Best way to do it is let's

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introduce you to my community. And I can ask

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you questions about what you do because I really

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don't know. So everyone, brave, bold, beautiful,

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cool, as the kids say, AF. But that's Patricia.

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Patricia, take it away. Thank you. Thank you.

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Well, my name is Patricia D. Frudenberg, also

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known as Patty from New York. Yes, I am. You

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know, I am proud to be from New York. And, you

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know, why do I love New York so much? Well, first

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of all, it's the heartbeat of the world and I'm

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sticking with it. But all kidding aside, as a

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certified end of life coach, I see a lot of grief.

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And I choose to be happy that I'm in the land

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of the living. I believe in revival. I believe

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in bringing death to life. So as you see, just

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like from New York, I bring a lot of life. I

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bring a lot of energy. And again, you come to

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me when you are ready to recover. Over to you,

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Adrienne. And again, thank you for inviting me

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to be on your show. Wow. What was your saying?

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Death to life? Death to life, revival, you know,

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through legacy. And I'll get into it when you're

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ready. I'll get right into it. My area of focus.

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I'll get right into it. Well, first tell us how

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you got into this career. Oh, that's a good question.

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And I'm glad you asked. Well, I'll give you the

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short version because I know we don't have all

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day. And you know, chatty patty can carry on

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and on. All kidding aside. For 33 and a half

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years, I was in the beauty world from A to Z,

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brick and mortar, still standing. It's called

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Patty's Place in Island Park, New York. But going

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back to how did I end up with Mishgram? What

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does that have to do with the beauty industry?

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Well, Adrian I'm glad you asked because while

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I was but 33 years of you know with clients that

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were quite loyal Returned customers and while

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I was making them look beautiful on the outside

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a lot of times They weren't feeling so beautiful

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on the inside and why because they were going

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to bury a loved one So while I'm getting them

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ready for funeral services and memorials I gave

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them space which gives grace to talk about it

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Well, that was the light bulb. There should be

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a space for this. There should be a place for

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this. Somebody should do this. I talked about

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it for about seven years and one good day, my

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daughter, my eldest daughter called me out and

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said, mom, why don't you create an app? And you

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know what I said? Because I was a dinosaur. I

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said to her, what's an app? I did say that what's

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an app and she goes mom like Facebook I go oh

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Facebook is an app because I didn't exist on

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social did not exist on social um eight years

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ago and she said yeah and I said that's what

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I'm talking about there needs to be an exclusive

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place and I can't believe I never heard of such

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a thing or there isn't such a thing and that

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was the beginning of this journey eight years

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ago Um, so then, uh, flash forward, you know,

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good old Google, you know, I, how do you start

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an app? Little did I know what I was getting

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myself into, but trust you me, um, this became

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my purpose because I saw for years filling a

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void that needed to be filled. There was a gap

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there. There's the funeral parlors. Yes, they

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have a website, but you got to dig deep, pardon

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the pun, to find the memorial. And then it's

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kind of forgotten about. In the big world of

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the big fish. Facebook, Instagram and such, it

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gets diluted and almost loses a sense of respect.

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So I wanted a place that people could go privately

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or publicly share the memorials of their loved

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one. And then I became a certified end of life

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coach because I said, people would question me,

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well, what do you know about grieving? And I

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said, well, nobody's born with a manual of life.

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However, let me get some certifications from

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the doctors. And let me take this forward. And

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I've learned a thing or two. And here we are.

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I wrote a book on grieving. This is my guidebook.

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Grab it, grab it. Live your legacy. um this is

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behind it is my first magazine i ever put out

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but not too many eyes i've seen it i'll leave

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your legacy and this is in big print so you don't

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have to wear your granny glasses if you don't

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want to it also has a few pages to journal for

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each chapter so you could write into it and it's

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more like a workbook and this again this is when

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you're ready for recovery. And in the first page,

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if I may, if I may, if you don't mind, I just

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want to a little, a little, you know, a little

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disclosure here. Bear in mind and I'm just going

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to an excerpt in the in the first chapter bear

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in mind that there are Professionals who do this

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daily if you are unsure of what to do in any

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given situation Then seek medical professional

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counseling. Okay, I don't want to replace medical

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attention because sometimes we need medical attention

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to get to here, okay? And this is when you could

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take matters into your own hands because you

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feel confident enough that, you know what, I'm

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struggling, but you know, I think I got this

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and I wanna do better. And this is where we start.

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And it's a new spin on morning. Again, Adrienne,

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I'm not - Wait, wait, wait, don't put the book

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back yet. Don't put the book back yet, because

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I want to ask you about some of the chapters.

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Sure, yes. The titles. I want to hear the titles.

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I don't want to stop you from speaking, though.

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No, interrupt. I'm an interrupter, because I

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come from New York. So it's like, you've got

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to seize the moment. But I'm glad that you asked

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me that, because titles are a big deal to me.

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So as a creative, right? And I know that this

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is like a common thread with some creators, not

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everybody, but my style. I write a daily newsletter

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and this is how I created my book. I get like

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the title first. That's the download I get from

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like the heavens, the collective, the universe,

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whatever. I'm inspired by another human. I get

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the download and then I build off that title

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and my titles are quite interesting and they're

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not your ordinary grief titles. The first one

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is mind over matter. The second one is pausing

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in the now. The third one is unfolding your grief.

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The fourth one is morning for morning. And that

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chapter's short, but it's just, again, it's a

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new spin on morning. So in the morning, when

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you wake up, especially on the early onset of

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grief, Adrienne, have you ever woke up and hoped

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it was a dream and realized it's not a dream?

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That your reality of grief is real? So this is...

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uh just a little practical way to how about looking

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at this practice this and kind of get it over

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with you know face it embrace it appreciate whatever

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you can and so forth chapters are not long because

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in when you're when you're doing work like this

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right it has to be something that it's done you

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know i am continuing writing books The next book

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due to popular demand is grief etiquette then

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there's also I Have to kind of compile it choose

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a cover and get it out there But it's already

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all written through my newsletters. There's also

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what to expect again due to popular to expect

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in grief Which is really important again coming

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from my newsletters. We did a whole series on

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that and now it's together for But again these

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booklets right on guidebooks I call them I don't

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want them to be overwhelming and then I'll add

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a few more titles just because we're in that

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vein and Pass it over to you a time and state,

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you know when it comes to mind, you know time

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and state state of mind time is it You know,

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like it's a whole thing divinity and beyond breakthrough

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breakthrough breakdowns Wonderful let goes slow

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Reflect and repeat and that's those are the titles

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Wow, okay. I want to take it back for a second

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So yes when I think of so so were you when you

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say beauty were you cutting here? Like yes, okay.

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So, okay Got it. And my bangs are looking pretty

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good. But anyways, so you're cutting hair and

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people are sharing with you. Like we share everything.

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My daughter this, my son this, I lost my mother

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last week. Like all of that is getting shared.

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And you're finding that you have to come up with,

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you know, you can't be like, oh, your mom died.

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Oh, that's too bad. Cause I need to, is it okay

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to cut this much off the back of your hair? Right?

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Like you, so you become a therapist. So we all

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think that, right? The person doing our hair

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becomes a therapist. I'm the paid therapist.

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Yeah. Yeah, it's a joke. It's a it's a real thing

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It's a real thing, but there's this like safe

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zone because who am I gonna go tell about it?

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I Become like this like anonymous person so you

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can just get it off your chest and what I learned

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in my certification Actually through psychologists

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that some you know, some of the education was

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through doctors There's actually so we think

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we don't need to be heard We're okay. We don't

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need to be heard or seen or validated, but guess

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what? We do. We want to recover. Um, there is

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something medically to it and you could also

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go and research Stanford university. Um, I, I

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do all my, anything I share or say, um, I'll

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let you know if it's my thoughts and opinion

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that most of the time it's through testimony

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or research. And yes. We do need to be heard.

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We do need to be validated. We do need to be

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seen to feel good about whatever. Okay. It's

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a recovery. It's so I don't need to fix you.

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I just need to hear you. Okay. I just need to

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hear you. You know, Patty, when my mom passed

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away, I remember Well, my mom used to say, like

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I would lie down with her and she would say,

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you know, one day I won't be here. And I said,

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I don't want to hear it. And she'd say, I just

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want to talk to you about it. I said, blah, blah,

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blah, blah, blah. I don't want to hear it, mom.

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But after my mom passed, I found the hardest

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thing. And I'm kind of wondering if this was

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the grief coming out. It was hard to understand

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that one day you're here, you're giving all this

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in your life and you're doing so many things.

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And then you're just... And I'm so grateful that

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my parents were so generous in life and that

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I could Google them, to be honest with you, Gloria

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and Herb Barker, and see them and read articles

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about them. I wish it was the video time. My

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dad would have loved the videos and Clubhouse

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and all of that and the ability to speak and

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chatter social. He would have loved all of that.

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But I think that was the hardest. And then, because

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then it was like... But that's going to be me

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one day. I won't be here. What am I? What will

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people remember? What will that look like? Is

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that what my mom always told me? Adrian, you

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know, you know, you can't take anything to the

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grave, but you at least have your kindness and

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you want people to to, you know, have good words

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to say. But I never thought that that's kind

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of part of the grief because that's the most

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hardest thing. We're here and then you're gone.

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Yeah. Well, to speak into that. Okay, it's really

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profound. That's really like profound stuff because

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I Can't speak for you, but I'll tell you this

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is a common thread We by default are faced with

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our own mortality and it's it's scary, right?

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It can be anyway doesn't have to be but it can

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be and it definitely will bite it will bite and

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when we're faced with our own mortality then

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what well This is what I do. I'm bringing legacy

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as the seventh stage of grief Which I call the

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light at the end of the tunnel throw so through

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death not only honoring what they left behind

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and carrying the torch Living your legacy the

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journey of self -love Self -discovery realizing

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I have a short time here in this land of the

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living Hopefully it's a long time that we all

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have an expiration date I'm a mystical. I love

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to think about, you know, the mysteries of life,

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but it can get overwhelming. So bring it back.

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Bring it back to the land of the living. Bring

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it back to you. What can you be remembered for?

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And that's why this is the live your legacy.

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And when we could redirect our focus from the

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lack. to appreciation right i could guarantee

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you your mom wants to see you happy of course

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you want to remember her and sometimes we could

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use the pain as a mere physical measurement of

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how deep our love is right but then is it working

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for you and i was saying you know the greatest

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question we could ask is it working for you the

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greatest question you could ask a friend is this

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working for you You know, it's good to feel.

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In fact, denial is very important. You just don't

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want to stay there. Anger is very important.

00:14:07.309 --> 00:14:09.169
You just don't want to stay there. Bargaining,

00:14:09.490 --> 00:14:13.169
depression, acceptance. Then David Kessler, not

00:14:13.169 --> 00:14:15.809
too long ago, you know, maybe a decade ago or

00:14:15.809 --> 00:14:19.990
so, who worked with Susan Kubler, right, who

00:14:19.990 --> 00:14:22.470
wrote Death and Dying, the five stages of grief.

00:14:23.110 --> 00:14:26.919
Then... With her he wrote finding meaning as

00:14:26.919 --> 00:14:29.720
the sixth stage of grief now patty from New York

00:14:29.720 --> 00:14:33.039
is bringing legacy as The recovery the light

00:14:33.039 --> 00:14:35.779
at the end of the tunnel. This is and again,

00:14:35.860 --> 00:14:40.620
um It each grief you could you it's about how

00:14:40.620 --> 00:14:44.759
good you come back, right? So these skills that

00:14:44.759 --> 00:14:48.279
I teach just next time it happens because there

00:14:48.279 --> 00:14:52.059
will be a next time You know Next time it happens,

00:14:52.460 --> 00:14:57.139
you have the tools in your kit to help you get

00:14:57.139 --> 00:15:01.720
back to something that works. But allowing these

00:15:01.720 --> 00:15:05.840
stages is so important because denial, sometimes

00:15:05.840 --> 00:15:10.419
a shock of a death could kill you. So you don't

00:15:10.419 --> 00:15:14.580
force people to, oh, this happened. Don't force

00:15:14.580 --> 00:15:17.519
them. You got to let things unfold naturally.

00:15:18.029 --> 00:15:21.509
But you know just keep an eye is it working?

00:15:21.669 --> 00:15:23.909
You know when it's starting to interfere with

00:15:23.909 --> 00:15:27.269
your you know life in a way That's harming yourself

00:15:27.269 --> 00:15:30.570
or others you know if you're if you're now getting

00:15:30.570 --> 00:15:33.090
malnourished if now your lights are shutting

00:15:33.090 --> 00:15:35.590
down You know these are these are things that

00:15:35.590 --> 00:15:38.730
are very captain obvious, but this is when we

00:15:38.730 --> 00:15:42.250
want to like you know Intervene right intervention,

00:15:42.490 --> 00:15:47.649
but those are far and few between and again Adrian,

00:15:47.789 --> 00:15:50.730
and I'll give it back to you. I'm not for everybody.

00:15:51.210 --> 00:15:53.710
Some people have told me you just have too much

00:15:53.710 --> 00:15:56.309
excitement. You're not appropriate for being

00:15:56.309 --> 00:15:59.190
an end of life coach. And I say, well, that's

00:15:59.190 --> 00:16:02.460
okay. I'm for somebody though. I'm for somebody.

00:16:02.779 --> 00:16:06.519
I might not be for everybody, but I'm for somebody.

00:16:06.860 --> 00:16:09.419
And, you know, I get great feedback for the people

00:16:09.419 --> 00:16:12.600
that do feel like I'm the right fit because they

00:16:12.600 --> 00:16:15.659
want me to be the catalyst. They want me to spark

00:16:15.659 --> 00:16:18.000
them on fire. And I'm here to remind you that

00:16:18.000 --> 00:16:22.700
your fire is still burning. Wow. Wow, wow, wow,

00:16:22.700 --> 00:16:26.559
wow, wow. So, Patty, your book serves two ways,

00:16:26.700 --> 00:16:29.919
right? So it educates, but also, is it true that

00:16:29.919 --> 00:16:34.019
if I am reading the book and journaling, it's

00:16:34.019 --> 00:16:37.240
taking my mind off the grief a little bit. It's

00:16:37.240 --> 00:16:41.299
getting redirected. Yes. Redirection. Excuse

00:16:41.299 --> 00:16:44.679
me. Yes. I think that's huge. I remember locally,

00:16:45.100 --> 00:16:47.320
Nina would run courses. I can't think of the

00:16:47.320 --> 00:16:49.240
name, what she called it, but we would do the

00:16:49.240 --> 00:16:51.970
artwork. We would create art. And it was coping

00:16:51.970 --> 00:16:54.210
with color, she called it. Coping with color.

00:16:54.250 --> 00:16:56.409
Oh, nice. Yeah. And then she would bring - I

00:16:56.409 --> 00:16:58.889
might adopt that. I might adopt that. I think

00:16:58.889 --> 00:17:00.610
Nina will be fine. I think she's in a whole other

00:17:00.610 --> 00:17:03.470
career right now. But it was still a lovely,

00:17:03.470 --> 00:17:05.369
lovely thing. And then they would have the communities

00:17:05.369 --> 00:17:07.789
go into a funeral home because they always had

00:17:07.789 --> 00:17:11.130
the room. And we would color and talk. And she

00:17:11.130 --> 00:17:14.539
was raising money for some nonprofit. And yeah,

00:17:14.680 --> 00:17:16.920
you walk away and you're like, I'm feeling better.

00:17:17.079 --> 00:17:19.359
So amazing the different things that you could

00:17:19.359 --> 00:17:21.140
do. So I got that feeling with your book. I'm

00:17:21.140 --> 00:17:24.519
like, ooh, OK, that sounds like something. So

00:17:24.519 --> 00:17:26.000
all right. So Patricia, I have this question

00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:30.779
to ask you. It's burning inside me. So I've been

00:17:30.779 --> 00:17:33.509
on Clubhouse for over Oh gosh, I don't even know

00:17:33.509 --> 00:17:35.829
maybe seven, eight months running the room. How

00:17:35.829 --> 00:17:38.150
come I love your voice. I hear you speak, but

00:17:38.150 --> 00:17:40.589
I had no idea what you're doing. So how good

00:17:40.589 --> 00:17:42.690
of a job you rate yourself. How good of a job

00:17:42.690 --> 00:17:46.069
are you doing to let people know what you actually

00:17:46.069 --> 00:17:49.950
do for a living? Do you think that everyone like

00:17:49.950 --> 00:17:52.390
in that group knows who Patty is and what she

00:17:52.390 --> 00:17:55.890
does and the new people that are coming in? Well,

00:17:55.890 --> 00:17:57.950
there's a lot of gatekeepers and I mean that

00:17:57.950 --> 00:18:03.140
with love and I get it. I get it, you know? So

00:18:03.140 --> 00:18:07.279
that's that. However, you know, I'm the kind

00:18:07.279 --> 00:18:11.440
of person that you will know my name. Because

00:18:11.440 --> 00:18:13.400
I have to put my money where my mouth is right

00:18:13.400 --> 00:18:16.900
and Trust me. I'm coming out of my shell. I was

00:18:16.900 --> 00:18:19.319
very happy mining my business in my little salon

00:18:19.319 --> 00:18:22.920
very happy being Non -existent on social media,

00:18:23.319 --> 00:18:26.119
you know, it was a very easy life in hindsight

00:18:26.119 --> 00:18:28.579
We know when I was running a shop because I was

00:18:28.579 --> 00:18:31.019
part owner, you know didn't seem that way But

00:18:31.019 --> 00:18:33.220
in hindsight, I'm like, oh my god, did I have

00:18:33.220 --> 00:18:35.339
it easy? You know, just like when a kid wants

00:18:35.339 --> 00:18:38.559
to grow up little do they know same idea but

00:18:38.559 --> 00:18:44.000
now This... So everything I'm doing, the book,

00:18:44.119 --> 00:18:46.819
I also host a beautiful memorial service, which

00:18:46.819 --> 00:18:51.500
is a new add -on to what I do. It's a tree lighting.

00:18:51.680 --> 00:18:54.619
I have my own licensed songs. Together we'll

00:18:54.619 --> 00:18:58.079
remember, remember my name. And it's a tree lighting.

00:18:58.460 --> 00:19:01.099
Yes. And it's a pre -lit tree. And everybody

00:19:01.099 --> 00:19:03.859
comes and lights the tree and puts a butterfly

00:19:03.859 --> 00:19:06.059
on the tree. And I have a beautiful poem that

00:19:06.059 --> 00:19:08.859
goes along with it. And I also provide little

00:19:08.859 --> 00:19:12.529
giveaway for the loved one. And when I go to

00:19:12.529 --> 00:19:15.970
events now, I did become a public speaker. I

00:19:15.970 --> 00:19:20.430
have spoken internationally. I'm also part of

00:19:20.430 --> 00:19:25.470
this book. that won another award, the James

00:19:25.470 --> 00:19:28.670
Madison Award, too, became a best seller warning

00:19:28.670 --> 00:19:32.710
children are not weapons. But in this book, it

00:19:32.710 --> 00:19:35.190
was about parent alienation and stuff. But I

00:19:35.190 --> 00:19:39.930
do have a chapter in here. Here I am. So I am

00:19:39.930 --> 00:19:42.609
getting out there. I will be also featured on

00:19:42.609 --> 00:19:45.049
the cover of the Millennial Magazine at the end

00:19:45.049 --> 00:19:48.289
of the year, which I'm excited about that. I'm

00:19:48.289 --> 00:19:52.660
also going to be in the Who's Who in America

00:19:52.660 --> 00:19:56.859
for 2025. I'm excited about that. So I am getting

00:19:56.859 --> 00:20:00.559
myself out there. My show wasn't a hiatus because

00:20:00.559 --> 00:20:03.619
of my own grief with my strategic advisor God

00:20:03.619 --> 00:20:06.259
rest her soul Kimberly Easton who was a news

00:20:06.259 --> 00:20:08.660
anchor for Philadelphia news and then she went

00:20:08.660 --> 00:20:11.819
on to become a strategic advisor she had a lot

00:20:11.819 --> 00:20:15.799
of like NFL players are for clients, but we merged

00:20:15.799 --> 00:20:18.900
on LinkedIn and you know, LinkedIn is like my

00:20:18.900 --> 00:20:20.859
home away from home I know that's how I mean

00:20:20.859 --> 00:20:23.079
you actually that's how I took notice of you

00:20:23.079 --> 00:20:25.960
Adrian by the way and kudos to your work on LinkedIn,

00:20:26.079 --> 00:20:28.740
but that's what Got my attention with what you're

00:20:28.740 --> 00:20:31.059
doing. And now here we are on this beautiful

00:20:31.059 --> 00:20:33.839
show, but on LinkedIn, I became friends with

00:20:33.839 --> 00:20:36.559
Kimberly Easton, but, um, so I never was on air

00:20:36.559 --> 00:20:38.480
and she's like, you gotta get out there. And

00:20:38.480 --> 00:20:40.299
I was like, what do you mean? I gotta get out

00:20:40.299 --> 00:20:43.539
there. And, um, I thought I was, I thought I

00:20:43.539 --> 00:20:46.359
was shy until I realized that I was lying to

00:20:46.359 --> 00:20:49.339
myself and I love attention. So I'm the perfect

00:20:49.339 --> 00:20:52.319
spokesperson for my company because, um, truth

00:20:52.319 --> 00:20:54.920
be told, I actually don't mind the attention.

00:20:55.180 --> 00:20:57.549
I actually like it. And, you know, I don't know

00:20:57.549 --> 00:21:00.109
why I was pretending to myself, but I, I wiped

00:21:00.109 --> 00:21:03.210
the fog off the mirror and now I'm owning it.

00:21:03.210 --> 00:21:05.829
And maybe because I wasn't perfect at it, um,

00:21:05.829 --> 00:21:09.349
but it's okay. Right. I'm practicing and I'm

00:21:09.349 --> 00:21:12.109
practicing to be better. And she would give me

00:21:12.109 --> 00:21:16.049
great feedback. Don't wear this. Don't say that.

00:21:16.410 --> 00:21:18.930
You know, she, she was a professional, but when

00:21:18.930 --> 00:21:23.009
she passed, it was a hard hit for me. And I really

00:21:23.009 --> 00:21:25.970
had to implement these skills that I. Provide

00:21:25.970 --> 00:21:28.329
bubbles, but you know how it is that being a

00:21:28.329 --> 00:21:30.430
doctor when you're trying to fix yourself at

00:21:30.430 --> 00:21:32.309
the different situation You know, so I'm like,

00:21:32.529 --> 00:21:34.569
okay, okay, but I got through it but then I kind

00:21:34.569 --> 00:21:38.049
of went on hiatus and and also because I just

00:21:38.049 --> 00:21:40.269
got invited to do other things and be on other

00:21:40.269 --> 00:21:44.430
shows and Speaking events, but now it's time.

00:21:44.430 --> 00:21:47.329
I got my monologue ready and I'm ready to start

00:21:47.329 --> 00:21:51.089
my short little live segments They're gonna be

00:21:51.089 --> 00:21:54.470
15 minutes and what? I'll be doing this time

00:21:54.470 --> 00:21:58.890
around is reading my newsletters out loud. And

00:21:58.890 --> 00:22:00.950
again, because, you know, these days attention

00:22:00.950 --> 00:22:05.069
span is short newsletters. Yeah. And the feedback

00:22:05.069 --> 00:22:07.450
is so great that I said, you know what, let me

00:22:07.450 --> 00:22:09.549
through another avenue, get it out there to the

00:22:09.549 --> 00:22:11.670
world. So that's how I'm getting my voice. And

00:22:11.670 --> 00:22:14.549
I do provide a public service on clubhouse, which

00:22:14.549 --> 00:22:16.849
is the legacy cafe. And it's a grief recovery

00:22:16.849 --> 00:22:20.890
room. And that I do as a public service. I love

00:22:20.890 --> 00:22:22.329
that. I'm gonna steal your idea. I love that.

00:22:22.329 --> 00:22:25.150
Just take it. My newsletters and do it. Maybe

00:22:25.150 --> 00:22:27.509
trips out of them. All right. That's a, that's

00:22:27.509 --> 00:22:29.650
a compliment, right? When, when you could model

00:22:29.650 --> 00:22:32.609
something that works and recycle it to your own,

00:22:32.869 --> 00:22:34.690
that to me is the biggest compliment. Nobody

00:22:34.690 --> 00:22:36.490
invented the wheel, right? I mean, I guess a

00:22:36.490 --> 00:22:40.109
caveman did, but you know, the idea is it works,

00:22:40.109 --> 00:22:44.059
right? So why not use it? So Patty, explain,

00:22:44.119 --> 00:22:45.819
go back, because first of all, tell me about

00:22:45.819 --> 00:22:48.720
the butterfly, your logo, and then really explain

00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:51.200
to me, what is Miss UGram? Because I'm thinking,

00:22:51.619 --> 00:22:54.480
like when my parents were, had pastors, that

00:22:54.480 --> 00:22:57.160
legacy, and then you could write, you know, I

00:22:57.160 --> 00:22:59.480
miss you, you know, oh, Gloria and her, you know,

00:22:59.480 --> 00:23:01.880
you were wonderful, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

00:23:02.079 --> 00:23:05.380
but then you have to pay to keep it going. So

00:23:05.380 --> 00:23:08.769
butterfly and what is Miss UGram, really? okay

00:23:08.769 --> 00:23:11.690
well the butterfly the first thing with the butterfly

00:23:11.690 --> 00:23:15.710
when i started uh going to this idea somebody

00:23:15.710 --> 00:23:19.390
said well you should patent it right so i didn't

00:23:19.390 --> 00:23:22.109
know what i was getting myself into so i patent

00:23:22.109 --> 00:23:25.630
the operation system which is the memorial app

00:23:25.630 --> 00:23:28.410
and again if you go on there you could probably

00:23:28.410 --> 00:23:31.430
you know break it down and and chew me up and

00:23:31.430 --> 00:23:34.569
spit me out because it could use a lot of expansion

00:23:34.940 --> 00:23:37.920
But, you know, I had to do a lot to get to this

00:23:37.920 --> 00:23:40.859
point. So it's okay. Um, there's not a lot of

00:23:40.859 --> 00:23:43.819
traction on there. It's okay. It's, it's, it's

00:23:43.819 --> 00:23:47.059
a starting point, but yes, you go on there and

00:23:47.059 --> 00:23:49.980
I'm a big advocate that just like a library should

00:23:49.980 --> 00:23:53.559
be free. So should a place to grieve and it's

00:23:53.559 --> 00:23:57.039
a public service. Now, could I add things for,

00:23:57.180 --> 00:24:00.140
for paid service? Yeah. Down the pipeline, God

00:24:00.140 --> 00:24:02.680
willing, we could expand and grow. But right

00:24:02.680 --> 00:24:06.039
now, um, that. part to be able to memorialize

00:24:06.039 --> 00:24:08.880
is always going to be free. And trust me, I've

00:24:08.880 --> 00:24:11.920
had my to do's with people trying to convince

00:24:11.920 --> 00:24:15.099
me to like, no, it should. No, I want it to be

00:24:15.099 --> 00:24:17.799
free. It should be free to be able to share about

00:24:17.799 --> 00:24:20.819
your loved one. Right. So the butterfly, when

00:24:20.819 --> 00:24:23.299
I went to go create my registered mark, which

00:24:23.299 --> 00:24:26.539
I do have a registered a mark for the operation

00:24:26.539 --> 00:24:28.779
system, even if somebody else does it, I'm not

00:24:28.779 --> 00:24:32.220
going to sue you. But, you know, again, the world

00:24:32.220 --> 00:24:34.430
is abundant. I don't look it like that you know

00:24:34.430 --> 00:24:36.710
like you want to do another app like it go for

00:24:36.710 --> 00:24:39.470
it you know I know that this was for me to take

00:24:39.470 --> 00:24:43.710
care of and I did it the right way so the butterfly

00:24:43.710 --> 00:24:47.329
when I went to go create this company again prior

00:24:47.329 --> 00:24:50.789
to being a certified end -of -life coach the

00:24:50.789 --> 00:24:53.509
the I heard a quote and it was the quote and

00:24:53.509 --> 00:24:55.529
I don't want to mess it up it's by Richard Bach

00:24:55.529 --> 00:24:58.849
and it said the quote goes like this what the

00:24:58.849 --> 00:25:02.200
caterpillar calls the end of the world um god

00:25:02.200 --> 00:25:06.880
calls the butterfly okay oh i love that quote

00:25:06.880 --> 00:25:10.299
yes that my butterfly most people think it's

00:25:10.299 --> 00:25:12.779
blue which is funny but if you look it's really

00:25:12.779 --> 00:25:15.539
not it's black and white and that's on purpose

00:25:15.539 --> 00:25:18.769
because the black flex the physical shell that's

00:25:18.769 --> 00:25:23.410
gone but the white is the aura and the soul that's

00:25:23.410 --> 00:25:25.890
inside of us and outside of us and will always

00:25:25.890 --> 00:25:30.450
continue so it's also um a side view so it's

00:25:30.450 --> 00:25:33.170
very intentional i drew this um actually hold

00:25:33.170 --> 00:25:34.990
on you're really you're really like it because

00:25:34.990 --> 00:25:37.329
it's very special to me so hold on i have it

00:25:37.329 --> 00:25:40.390
in my in my book here um it's very special to

00:25:40.390 --> 00:25:44.829
me but the idea is that i drew this um here it

00:25:44.829 --> 00:25:50.339
is I drew this while my family was waiting to

00:25:50.339 --> 00:25:52.720
go out to eat. And finally I kept saying, I'll

00:25:52.720 --> 00:25:54.279
be right out. I'll be right out. They went in

00:25:54.279 --> 00:25:57.420
the car. They're like, where are you? And I was

00:25:57.420 --> 00:25:59.779
rushing, and I forgot to put the G in there.

00:25:59.980 --> 00:26:04.519
But it's cryptic, again, pardon the pun. And

00:26:04.519 --> 00:26:07.519
some branding people said to me, that's not clear

00:26:07.519 --> 00:26:08.759
enough. Wait, what's the G stand for? What is

00:26:08.759 --> 00:26:11.359
G stand for? Oh, grief. No, Graham. Miss you,

00:26:11.460 --> 00:26:15.660
Graham. So Graham. Graham I got the word Graham

00:26:15.660 --> 00:26:18.900
because I saw flip a gram Instagram again not

00:26:18.900 --> 00:26:21.460
knowing any better it is to convey a message

00:26:21.460 --> 00:26:24.500
via recording or writing right or video so I

00:26:24.500 --> 00:26:27.619
was like well flip a gram telegram Instagram

00:26:27.619 --> 00:26:31.319
all the grams could do it so could I right and

00:26:31.319 --> 00:26:34.200
and that's what I went with so it's miss you

00:26:34.200 --> 00:26:36.559
because like how do you how do you send the message

00:26:36.559 --> 00:26:38.859
saying that you miss them There's not too many

00:26:38.859 --> 00:26:42.519
words for missing. So it's miss you gram. Um,

00:26:42.700 --> 00:26:45.900
and of course, you know instagram did oppose

00:26:45.900 --> 00:26:49.279
my when it went on the gazette I can't get into

00:26:49.279 --> 00:26:53.670
details, but I beat them How you like them? Whoa.

00:26:54.089 --> 00:26:55.950
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. I can't get into the

00:26:55.950 --> 00:26:58.690
details. I am so sorry, but it is true story.

00:26:58.769 --> 00:27:01.329
And I, I know, I know, but I beat them. That's

00:27:01.329 --> 00:27:04.190
the, that's the bottom line. Um, I beat them,

00:27:04.509 --> 00:27:06.549
but it took everything out of me. But that's

00:27:06.549 --> 00:27:09.349
when I was like, you know what? I am not going

00:27:09.349 --> 00:27:13.470
away. I am not going away. And you know, I just

00:27:13.470 --> 00:27:15.759
kept. and kept going and kept going and kept

00:27:15.759 --> 00:27:19.019
going. And here we are. And did I even answer

00:27:19.019 --> 00:27:21.980
your second question? We got into the book. What

00:27:21.980 --> 00:27:25.680
was my second question? So how the butterfly

00:27:25.680 --> 00:27:29.039
and then the memorial. Oh yeah. So the, and you

00:27:29.039 --> 00:27:30.880
explained about Missy Graham. I have a question

00:27:30.880 --> 00:27:34.799
for you. I think that this is important. So if

00:27:34.799 --> 00:27:39.920
you, so like with talk about social media, Facebook

00:27:39.920 --> 00:27:43.980
and all of that, when someone you love has passed

00:27:43.980 --> 00:27:47.380
or if I know I'm sick, uh, how does that work

00:27:47.380 --> 00:27:50.980
for memorable? Um, putting your page in memory

00:27:50.980 --> 00:27:53.299
and memory memoriam. I can't even think of the

00:27:53.299 --> 00:27:55.980
word memoriam like a memoriam. Yeah. How do you,

00:27:56.200 --> 00:27:58.640
how does that work? So again, the app is very

00:27:58.640 --> 00:28:01.400
easy peasy lemon squeezy. You just go, it's like

00:28:01.400 --> 00:28:03.859
putting any posts you go on there. There's not,

00:28:03.980 --> 00:28:07.670
there's not many options. There's like, where's

00:28:07.670 --> 00:28:10.450
the rest of it? You know, like I tell you, it's

00:28:10.450 --> 00:28:14.789
a starter. It's a starter, but I did 27 rollouts.

00:28:15.569 --> 00:28:21.170
Okay. The older version had more functionality,

00:28:21.230 --> 00:28:24.890
which I liked, but then because technology was

00:28:24.890 --> 00:28:28.019
moving at such a rapid rate. There was a lot

00:28:28.019 --> 00:28:31.059
of compliance, and I almost lost everything.

00:28:32.059 --> 00:28:35.960
And we kind of did. So then I had to just continue.

00:28:36.500 --> 00:28:40.099
And I couldn't afford the developers that I originally

00:28:40.099 --> 00:28:43.440
had, because the coding world is quite expensive.

00:28:45.819 --> 00:28:49.400
My website, I did it all myself, every from A

00:28:49.400 --> 00:28:51.579
to Z. I did everything myself. I had to learn

00:28:51.579 --> 00:28:54.039
how to code. I had to learn how to market. I

00:28:54.039 --> 00:28:57.599
do own the page on Google. So again, it was blood

00:28:57.599 --> 00:28:59.700
and sweat. And again, I'm eight years in and

00:28:59.700 --> 00:29:03.180
I'm just now on fertile ground. And for any of

00:29:03.180 --> 00:29:05.619
you investors out there, I'm looking for a long

00:29:05.619 --> 00:29:08.579
term partner. I'm not looking for a shark tank.

00:29:08.700 --> 00:29:11.420
I'll give you 10 % for 10 years. No, I'm looking

00:29:11.420 --> 00:29:15.640
for a marriage. or an acquisition one or the

00:29:15.640 --> 00:29:18.500
other on the table and I'm ready to be courted

00:29:18.500 --> 00:29:20.839
and people started getting interest because right

00:29:20.839 --> 00:29:23.799
now just now I'm on fertile ground but because

00:29:23.799 --> 00:29:27.359
I'm busy writing books and newsletters and I

00:29:27.359 --> 00:29:31.250
hope to have a column called Dear Patty so Yeah.

00:29:31.289 --> 00:29:32.930
So people go and I would love to be in the New

00:29:32.930 --> 00:29:35.349
York times, but, you know, again, one day at

00:29:35.349 --> 00:29:37.650
a time, right? Oh, one day at a time. But, uh,

00:29:37.650 --> 00:29:39.650
nonetheless, because I'm doing now are these

00:29:39.650 --> 00:29:43.150
other things. I'm okay with this company to have

00:29:43.150 --> 00:29:46.890
an acquisition or somebody to come and, you know,

00:29:47.069 --> 00:29:49.470
uh, marry me, you know, in the company sense.

00:29:49.609 --> 00:29:51.750
And let's, let's take this to the next plane.

00:29:51.829 --> 00:29:55.609
There's a lot of things that are not disclosed,

00:29:55.769 --> 00:29:58.269
but really good stuff that, uh, you know, I'm,

00:29:58.269 --> 00:30:01.990
I'm happy to, you know, uh, just provide for

00:30:01.990 --> 00:30:05.710
this company just to be a household name and

00:30:05.710 --> 00:30:08.289
it might not be in my lifetime Adrian but it

00:30:08.289 --> 00:30:10.970
is liquid gold if we're gonna talk business but

00:30:10.970 --> 00:30:13.710
it's more than liquid gold it's filling a gap

00:30:13.710 --> 00:30:16.890
it's filling a gap and you can't scroll social

00:30:16.890 --> 00:30:20.410
media more than I'll give you I'll give you two

00:30:20.410 --> 00:30:23.450
minutes I it's less than two minutes but I'll

00:30:23.450 --> 00:30:26.750
give you two minutes go ahead except for LinkedIn

00:30:26.750 --> 00:30:31.299
which is business Instagram Facebook Twitter

00:30:31.299 --> 00:30:34.400
go ahead try to scroll two minutes without seeing

00:30:34.400 --> 00:30:37.640
a memorial go ahead and try but is it the right

00:30:37.640 --> 00:30:41.480
place it's okay but it gets diluted if you want

00:30:41.480 --> 00:30:44.500
a place for it to be you know really the safe

00:30:44.500 --> 00:30:48.880
place a respectable place you know a place that

00:30:48.880 --> 00:30:50.519
you don't have to feel vulnerable just because

00:30:50.519 --> 00:30:52.259
you miss them and you just feel like sharing

00:30:52.259 --> 00:30:54.299
you don't have to wait for an anniversary you

00:30:54.299 --> 00:30:56.839
don't have to wait for a birthday you don't have

00:30:56.839 --> 00:30:58.880
to wait just because it just happened you could

00:30:58.880 --> 00:31:03.019
go just because um this is this is an adaptive

00:31:03.019 --> 00:31:06.319
challenge now i took courses that i posted on

00:31:06.319 --> 00:31:08.799
linkedin through harvard university in adaptive

00:31:08.799 --> 00:31:11.579
challenges they're not easy why because they've

00:31:11.579 --> 00:31:13.720
never been done but this is what i'm doing with

00:31:13.720 --> 00:31:16.539
this company again it might not be in my lifetime

00:31:16.539 --> 00:31:19.339
but i don't believe it's going away. So thank

00:31:19.339 --> 00:31:21.259
you for letting me share. Unless Patty, unless

00:31:21.259 --> 00:31:23.259
death can go away. Goodbye, death. We're going

00:31:23.259 --> 00:31:25.839
to live forever. yeah well that's a that's a

00:31:25.839 --> 00:31:28.380
good one and listen don't get me into quantum

00:31:28.380 --> 00:31:31.319
mechanics because truth is we don't go away right

00:31:31.319 --> 00:31:34.400
we just transform we don't go away but it's okay

00:31:34.400 --> 00:31:37.339
a different topic a different day i love that

00:31:37.339 --> 00:31:39.819
and i love i'd love to have you back to really

00:31:39.819 --> 00:31:43.140
talk about the etiquette in um in death and how

00:31:43.140 --> 00:31:45.960
to what to say and how to help someone because

00:31:45.960 --> 00:31:48.559
at the end of the day most of us don't know what

00:31:48.559 --> 00:31:52.069
to say or what to write and you know my condolences

00:31:52.069 --> 00:31:55.349
to the family may every every memory be a blessing

00:31:55.349 --> 00:31:57.390
sometimes I'll write something I'm like oh that

00:31:57.390 --> 00:32:00.309
sounds like too much like it shouldn't be focused

00:32:00.309 --> 00:32:02.130
on myself because sometimes I'll read something

00:32:02.130 --> 00:32:04.789
you know I'm so sorry well now you're saying

00:32:04.789 --> 00:32:08.410
I'm sorry but really about you it's not about

00:32:08.410 --> 00:32:10.950
you yeah so I think it goes back so I'd love

00:32:10.950 --> 00:32:14.190
to have that conversation Patty I'll give you

00:32:14.190 --> 00:32:17.049
a little key I'll give you a little key um I'm

00:32:17.049 --> 00:32:21.599
here for you I'm here Oh, I'm here for you. I'm

00:32:21.599 --> 00:32:24.160
here for you because sometimes there is no words,

00:32:24.420 --> 00:32:26.519
right? Um, but yeah, we get into it and I'll

00:32:26.519 --> 00:32:28.680
be happy to come back and Adrian, your pleasure.

00:32:29.960 --> 00:32:31.980
I'm also thinking that, you know, like sometimes

00:32:31.980 --> 00:32:33.900
I'll just say, you know, I remember, you know,

00:32:33.900 --> 00:32:35.980
be able to go to your mom's house and she always

00:32:35.980 --> 00:32:38.180
served the best cookies in the world or I still

00:32:38.180 --> 00:32:40.079
dream about the brownies. So treasure chest.

00:32:40.299 --> 00:32:43.039
I call it, I call that the treasure chest. Now

00:32:43.039 --> 00:32:45.880
that's really key also because that can never

00:32:45.880 --> 00:32:48.660
be undone. Let's just say your mom that passed

00:32:48.660 --> 00:32:51.059
away, didn't pass away. You still can't bring

00:32:51.059 --> 00:32:53.359
back tomorrow. Yesterday. You still can't bring

00:32:53.359 --> 00:32:56.089
last year's Christmas. you can't so it's a treasure

00:32:56.089 --> 00:33:00.289
chest they're always there redirection just like

00:33:00.289 --> 00:33:03.990
the book redirection bring them to a happy place

00:33:03.990 --> 00:33:07.170
again but remember sometimes we need to feel

00:33:07.170 --> 00:33:10.109
the pain to measure the pain to measure the love

00:33:10.109 --> 00:33:12.589
so it's oh you know let them go through it as

00:33:12.589 --> 00:33:15.769
long as as long as it's not too long you know

00:33:15.769 --> 00:33:17.950
and starting to become like you know something

00:33:17.950 --> 00:33:20.789
that's gonna harm them um but anyway I could

00:33:20.789 --> 00:33:23.829
go on and on It's okay. Patty, do you, would

00:33:23.829 --> 00:33:28.029
you mind if on Thursday when I do the breakfast

00:33:28.029 --> 00:33:30.829
of champions room for clubhouse, if I asked the

00:33:30.829 --> 00:33:33.990
question, how many of you know what Patty does

00:33:33.990 --> 00:33:38.230
and how many can you share what Patty does? Let's

00:33:38.230 --> 00:33:41.740
see, because. I wasn't, you know, I know who

00:33:41.740 --> 00:33:43.420
you are and I loved your voice, but I was like,

00:33:43.500 --> 00:33:44.700
that's what I said to you. I'm like, who, who

00:33:44.700 --> 00:33:47.079
is Patti? What does she do? I have no idea. And

00:33:47.079 --> 00:33:49.420
now I want to share the, share you with the world.

00:33:49.680 --> 00:33:52.000
So that would be fun. And then we could talk

00:33:52.000 --> 00:33:55.539
about the branding and, and, you know, the opportunity

00:33:55.539 --> 00:33:59.400
to, to cause you have so much information. Tell

00:33:59.400 --> 00:34:01.339
us again, the clubhouse room that you're in.

00:34:01.909 --> 00:34:04.450
Um, well, you know what? I changed the hour and

00:34:04.450 --> 00:34:06.150
it's been kind of quiet. And, you know, a lot

00:34:06.150 --> 00:34:08.909
of people are, are moving to chatter, but I haven't,

00:34:09.269 --> 00:34:11.429
or you, what do you, yes. Well, I'm on chatter,

00:34:11.469 --> 00:34:13.210
but I really haven't been active. You know, I

00:34:13.210 --> 00:34:15.389
have everything set up, but, but I'm considering

00:34:15.389 --> 00:34:17.869
like, you know, uh, where do I, where do I start?

00:34:18.010 --> 00:34:20.630
I do have the house there in chatter too, but

00:34:20.940 --> 00:34:23.820
The point is I don't do replays and sometimes

00:34:23.820 --> 00:34:26.239
we have a handful of people. Sometimes it's very

00:34:26.239 --> 00:34:28.980
small and intimate. It runs, I try to keep it

00:34:28.980 --> 00:34:30.840
to an hour, hour and a half. Sometimes it goes

00:34:30.840 --> 00:34:33.280
two hours, but it's right after I started now

00:34:33.280 --> 00:34:36.139
at nine AM Eastern standard time. It's called

00:34:36.139 --> 00:34:39.300
legacy cafe and it's under the miss you Graham

00:34:39.300 --> 00:34:42.019
house. Uh, but thank you for the shout out. It

00:34:42.019 --> 00:34:44.500
really means a lot to me. It really, really does.

00:34:44.699 --> 00:34:47.820
Um, I, and I want to tell you this, if ever you

00:34:47.820 --> 00:34:50.079
are doing a segment on breakfast of champions.

00:34:50.219 --> 00:34:52.800
why I co -host with Bella on Saturdays every

00:34:52.800 --> 00:34:56.980
other Saturday. She's the lead host but she invites

00:34:56.980 --> 00:35:00.119
me to be her co -host because we're besties and

00:35:00.119 --> 00:35:03.420
because I know about entrepreneurship so not

00:35:03.420 --> 00:35:07.320
only in the tech world Right? And again, I have

00:35:07.320 --> 00:35:10.340
a lot of connections and affiliates with investments.

00:35:10.800 --> 00:35:12.719
I didn't pitch them because I'm learning from

00:35:12.719 --> 00:35:14.599
them. I want to know what investors are looking

00:35:14.599 --> 00:35:16.900
for. And like I said, just now I'm on fertile

00:35:16.900 --> 00:35:20.019
ground. However, I know a thing or two about

00:35:20.019 --> 00:35:23.920
being an entrepreneur, not only from this, but

00:35:23.920 --> 00:35:26.539
from the beauty parlor. So I've been an entrepreneur

00:35:26.539 --> 00:35:29.570
pretty much since like you know day one since

00:35:29.570 --> 00:35:32.150
20 years old I've owned my own business um so

00:35:32.150 --> 00:35:35.849
that's a long time so 35 years of entrepreneurship

00:35:35.849 --> 00:35:38.650
um I definitely could uh bring something to the

00:35:38.650 --> 00:35:41.889
table for crumbs oh my god you're amazing no

00:35:41.889 --> 00:35:44.010
no no this is this is incredible I want to make

00:35:44.010 --> 00:35:46.610
sure that everyone knows if you do a room on

00:35:46.610 --> 00:35:49.230
chatter just you know I'm on I'll help you moderate

00:35:49.230 --> 00:35:52.130
the room and help you know get people in there

00:35:52.710 --> 00:35:56.730
I think it's, you know, and as I'm 63, I, you

00:35:56.730 --> 00:35:59.849
know, I think about it often, you know, like

00:35:59.849 --> 00:36:02.110
the children going to Puerto Rico, you know,

00:36:02.230 --> 00:36:03.829
these are things that sometimes I feel like I

00:36:03.829 --> 00:36:06.269
almost have to do. I want to create the memories

00:36:06.269 --> 00:36:08.630
with them. They'll see me one day doing this.

00:36:08.730 --> 00:36:11.389
I'll go, mom was talking about grief and now

00:36:11.389 --> 00:36:13.210
she's passed. And how weird is that? I know it's

00:36:13.210 --> 00:36:16.420
really weird guys, but. But I think it's an important

00:36:16.420 --> 00:36:18.460
conversation. I learned a lot because I really

00:36:18.460 --> 00:36:21.340
wasn't used to grief. My mom and dad were really

00:36:21.340 --> 00:36:23.239
the first that I've ever experienced. So I think

00:36:23.239 --> 00:36:25.599
there's also how many people, yeah, I've never

00:36:25.599 --> 00:36:27.139
maybe one, you know, a couple of friends growing

00:36:27.139 --> 00:36:30.639
up, but, uh, age either, you know, being the

00:36:30.639 --> 00:36:33.059
end of life coach. And that's why I can't help

00:36:33.059 --> 00:36:36.599
to choose to be happy. Let me tell you something

00:36:36.599 --> 00:36:39.960
on a daily, I could give you a bucket of complaints.

00:36:41.110 --> 00:36:43.670
Every day, I could give you, it will sink you

00:36:43.670 --> 00:36:47.170
faster than the Titanic, as I say. But I choose

00:36:47.170 --> 00:36:50.409
appreciation because according to Stanford University,

00:36:50.530 --> 00:36:52.590
again, this is not padding, this is research.

00:36:53.130 --> 00:36:55.409
The lowest vibration we could have is grief.

00:36:55.809 --> 00:36:58.630
It's a brother and sister. It's a brother and

00:36:58.630 --> 00:37:03.260
sister to powerlessness, fear, depression. the

00:37:03.260 --> 00:37:05.199
highest vibration now there's a lot in between

00:37:05.199 --> 00:37:07.519
and anger being one of them so anger is actually

00:37:07.519 --> 00:37:10.739
a good place to be compared to grief however

00:37:10.739 --> 00:37:14.159
appreciation is the highest vibration we could

00:37:14.159 --> 00:37:16.920
have as a human according to Stanford University

00:37:16.920 --> 00:37:20.019
Medical Studies not Patty it's a brother and

00:37:20.019 --> 00:37:23.460
sister to the Captain obvious love joy happiness

00:37:23.460 --> 00:37:29.019
that knowledge appreciation and if you can't

00:37:29.019 --> 00:37:33.420
appreciate on the on the micro Go macro, okay?

00:37:34.159 --> 00:37:36.679
I don't buy it if you can't find something good

00:37:36.679 --> 00:37:38.860
to appreciate. I don't buy it. And again, it's

00:37:38.860 --> 00:37:42.820
not always easy, micro when you're in it, but

00:37:42.820 --> 00:37:46.019
macro, give me a break, you know? It's so interesting.

00:37:46.639 --> 00:37:49.119
I always thought that you can't feel, well, I

00:37:49.119 --> 00:37:50.780
was taught this and then I practiced. I'm like,

00:37:50.860 --> 00:37:54.199
oh yeah, it's true. You can't feel fear and gratitude

00:37:54.199 --> 00:37:56.179
at the same time, but I guess it's the same thing.

00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:59.929
However you can. Can you? I'm reading. So I didn't

00:37:59.929 --> 00:38:01.710
even finish the book, but I'm so excited about

00:38:01.710 --> 00:38:04.789
it. I'm glad you said that. So Oprah Winfrey's

00:38:04.789 --> 00:38:07.329
book club, which I love to be a part of, right?

00:38:08.409 --> 00:38:11.449
Recommended bittersweet is one of the books.

00:38:11.690 --> 00:38:13.130
Um, and I don't know how long ago she recommended

00:38:13.130 --> 00:38:15.429
it, but she's it's one of her picks. It's called

00:38:15.429 --> 00:38:17.610
bittersweet. I'm only like in the first chapter,

00:38:17.610 --> 00:38:20.329
but I'm already excited about it because I love

00:38:20.329 --> 00:38:22.989
the word bittersweet because emotions, Adrian

00:38:22.989 --> 00:38:27.099
are ominous. So they can be both at the same

00:38:27.099 --> 00:38:30.579
time. That's the strange part. Our physical bodies

00:38:30.579 --> 00:38:34.099
take time and space to recover, right? But our

00:38:34.099 --> 00:38:37.260
emotions, that's why on my profile, I help with

00:38:37.260 --> 00:38:40.420
emotional equity. You got it. You got it. You

00:38:40.420 --> 00:38:43.260
can do this. And sometimes it's not easy, but

00:38:43.260 --> 00:38:47.559
you can do it. Wow. All right. Just writing bittersweet

00:38:47.559 --> 00:38:51.559
books of that. Wow. You're gonna love it. I already

00:38:51.559 --> 00:38:56.059
had me at hello. Like even the opening before

00:38:56.059 --> 00:38:58.019
even chapter one, the prologue, I think it's

00:38:58.019 --> 00:39:00.579
called or something. Anyway, the prelude, prelude,

00:39:00.860 --> 00:39:02.599
don't get, whatever. Where do we get your code

00:39:02.599 --> 00:39:04.480
though, Patty? Where do we, I'm on your website

00:39:04.480 --> 00:39:08.420
right now. Amazon, Amazon. If you go to my website,

00:39:08.500 --> 00:39:10.880
go to the shop and they will just direct you

00:39:10.880 --> 00:39:14.139
to Amazon. It's on there, it should be on there

00:39:14.139 --> 00:39:16.949
in the shop. you go to the shop page and also

00:39:16.949 --> 00:39:20.150
for all the viewers if you go to my website mrgram

00:39:20.150 --> 00:39:24.929
.com if you go to the shop right there's um a

00:39:24.929 --> 00:39:28.730
live your legacy um will our living will if you

00:39:28.730 --> 00:39:33.690
type in the coupon code lyl for live your legacy

00:39:33.690 --> 00:39:37.630
you could download these papers which is a living

00:39:37.630 --> 00:39:41.760
will which is not much in the world of um you

00:39:41.760 --> 00:39:45.380
know law but it's a starting point it's a good

00:39:45.380 --> 00:39:48.079
place to start conversation all you have to do

00:39:48.079 --> 00:39:50.559
is go to your local library or bank to get a

00:39:50.559 --> 00:39:54.320
free notary and you could start there um of course

00:39:54.320 --> 00:39:57.000
i encourage everybody to do a trust and you don't

00:39:57.000 --> 00:39:59.679
have to have a lot of assets either but anything

00:39:59.679 --> 00:40:02.199
that's yours um you should put in a trust because

00:40:02.199 --> 00:40:04.500
otherwise it will go to probate and that could

00:40:04.500 --> 00:40:07.900
be painstaking but this is where you start even

00:40:07.900 --> 00:40:10.579
if you get a trust you want to have a will And

00:40:10.579 --> 00:40:12.639
I'll give it to you for free, even though you

00:40:12.639 --> 00:40:14.980
could get it at the library, but I'm saving you

00:40:14.980 --> 00:40:17.360
time. If you want to pay for it, it's $5 .99.

00:40:17.719 --> 00:40:22.619
And I can always use the bucks to expand my app,

00:40:22.639 --> 00:40:26.260
but I do provide it for free as well. So L, Y,

00:40:26.300 --> 00:40:28.519
L in the coupon code. And what does Patty get

00:40:28.519 --> 00:40:31.079
out of it? Well, I get lead generation. I'm just

00:40:31.079 --> 00:40:33.000
going to be transparent, but guess what? Just

00:40:33.000 --> 00:40:37.380
to share more good news. That's beautiful. Beautiful.

00:40:37.860 --> 00:40:42.670
Beautiful. Patty, I am so... I'm so happy to

00:40:42.670 --> 00:40:45.929
get to see your beautiful face, to hear your

00:40:45.929 --> 00:40:48.269
voice. I feel like we know each other already

00:40:48.269 --> 00:40:50.889
though, you know? It's almost like a cheat, like,

00:40:51.090 --> 00:40:53.949
I know you already. If someone said, what does

00:40:53.949 --> 00:40:55.789
Patty do? So we're going to change that, practice

00:40:55.789 --> 00:40:58.929
with champions. Thursday morning, 730 to 830,

00:40:59.190 --> 00:41:01.610
we are going to talk about, do people really

00:41:01.610 --> 00:41:04.269
know what you're doing? I know you're so supportive

00:41:04.269 --> 00:41:06.449
of everyone. And then you're going to come over

00:41:06.449 --> 00:41:09.070
to Chatter and run some rooms. The integration

00:41:09.070 --> 00:41:12.710
with Blue Sky is great. I do both Chatter and

00:41:12.710 --> 00:41:15.630
Clubhouse and love doing both, so it can definitely

00:41:15.630 --> 00:41:17.869
work. They're just two different, to me, two

00:41:17.869 --> 00:41:21.389
different. Oh, and with Laura Marie of the Toastmasters

00:41:21.389 --> 00:41:23.829
also, were you? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I am too.

00:41:24.119 --> 00:41:26.960
So I'm not joining the club anymore, um, just

00:41:26.960 --> 00:41:29.019
because it's just not the right time, but I'm

00:41:29.019 --> 00:41:31.579
happy to join in those sessions. So if you're

00:41:31.579 --> 00:41:33.880
on there, I'll, I'll jump in there too. Cause

00:41:33.880 --> 00:41:36.139
those were great. Those are great. I am really

00:41:36.139 --> 00:41:38.559
excited to be with Maria too. Yeah. It's a great

00:41:38.559 --> 00:41:40.800
group and hopefully, uh, hopefully you'll go

00:41:40.800 --> 00:41:44.039
to a creative con. I hope so. We'll see what

00:41:44.039 --> 00:41:49.500
happens. The calendar gets busy, but me and Bella

00:41:49.500 --> 00:41:51.300
were both talking about it because we missed

00:41:51.300 --> 00:41:54.599
it. But when we heard about it, it was in such

00:41:54.599 --> 00:41:57.400
a short time that it was a no -go. And I had

00:41:57.400 --> 00:42:00.960
just gone away on vacation a week before that.

00:42:01.000 --> 00:42:04.219
I was like, not happening. But I'm going to do

00:42:04.219 --> 00:42:07.320
my best to make it happen. But otherwise, I'll

00:42:07.320 --> 00:42:10.550
support either way. I love that. Let me shout

00:42:10.550 --> 00:42:13.329
out Mary Lynn Wilkin, who if it wasn't for Mary

00:42:13.329 --> 00:42:16.309
Lynn and seeing something in me and asking me

00:42:16.309 --> 00:42:19.610
to be part of BWC, I wouldn't have met you. So

00:42:19.610 --> 00:42:22.050
everything I do is with gratitude for Mary Lynn.

00:42:22.710 --> 00:42:26.590
So love her. All right, Addy. You are awesome.

00:42:27.050 --> 00:42:29.210
Thank you so much, everyone. I hope you got a

00:42:29.210 --> 00:42:32.309
lot from Patty. Look, oh my God, the book, you

00:42:32.309 --> 00:42:35.090
are wonderful. Thank you so much. So wait, so

00:42:35.090 --> 00:42:37.650
Patty, so if someone, I'm gonna do the advertising

00:42:37.650 --> 00:42:40.530
here. So if someone you know lost someone, go

00:42:40.530 --> 00:42:43.550
in, buy the book and send it to them. That will

00:42:43.550 --> 00:42:45.690
really help them. Two, to understand, and three,

00:42:45.710 --> 00:42:48.190
get their mind off of it by journaling and getting

00:42:48.190 --> 00:42:50.989
the feelings down. So I love that. Patty, I love

00:42:50.989 --> 00:42:52.829
you. I know I'm gonna meet you soon. And by the

00:42:52.829 --> 00:42:55.150
way, I'm a Connecticut girl. Oh, we're neighbors.

00:42:55.550 --> 00:42:59.409
Oh, I live in Florida now. Oh, I'm going to be

00:42:59.409 --> 00:43:03.130
in a live event on July 26th with Evermindful.

00:43:04.449 --> 00:43:07.289
You know Lois from Evermindful? Yes, yes, yes.

00:43:07.369 --> 00:43:09.429
So I'm a speaker at her event and I'm going to

00:43:09.429 --> 00:43:13.809
be doing an interactive speaking. It's speaking

00:43:13.809 --> 00:43:16.289
simply grief through legacy and I'm going to

00:43:16.289 --> 00:43:18.510
be doing my tree lighting there. Is that July?

00:43:19.369 --> 00:43:22.750
What? July 26th, July 26th. I swear she sent

00:43:22.750 --> 00:43:24.570
it to me. I thought I saw June. Lois, I don't

00:43:24.570 --> 00:43:26.929
know what it was. It was, I don't know why it

00:43:26.929 --> 00:43:29.789
came. July. So I'll send you two privately on

00:43:29.789 --> 00:43:32.809
the back channels. I love that. In case you can

00:43:32.809 --> 00:43:36.110
make it. I love that. I got the invite. I love

00:43:36.110 --> 00:43:39.289
that. I'm in Daytona Beach now, so I really don't

00:43:39.289 --> 00:43:41.250
feel like traveling for the next couple of weeks.

00:43:41.250 --> 00:43:44.610
Oh, I thought you like come and go. No, my family

00:43:44.610 --> 00:43:47.309
still has the museum, the Barker Cartoon Character

00:43:47.309 --> 00:43:49.030
Comic Museum in Cheshire, Connecticut. It's a

00:43:49.030 --> 00:43:51.849
toy museum. My parents left their legacy of the

00:43:51.849 --> 00:43:57.639
toy museum, 80 ,000 curated toys, and also Barker

00:43:57.639 --> 00:44:00.300
Animation Art Gallery and Tanger Outlets and

00:44:00.300 --> 00:44:02.619
Foxwood. So if you ever go to the casinos and

00:44:02.619 --> 00:44:06.539
Well, I have a couple of the Simpsons. So check

00:44:06.539 --> 00:44:08.179
that out. I'm gonna go check that out. But anyway,

00:44:08.500 --> 00:44:10.840
another day another day. We'll get to that one

00:44:10.840 --> 00:44:13.699
You want you have the artwork you have the yes,

00:44:13.699 --> 00:44:17.139
I have the those what they're called There's

00:44:17.139 --> 00:44:19.480
a name for them. You know the the clips, you

00:44:19.480 --> 00:44:21.340
know, like they're the one that you mean you

00:44:21.340 --> 00:44:24.019
press a button and it makes a noise No, no, not

00:44:24.019 --> 00:44:26.320
that one, but it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a,

00:44:26.320 --> 00:44:28.699
it's like a painting, but it's like a clip of

00:44:28.699 --> 00:44:31.400
the cartoon, you know? Yeah. Oh, I wonder which

00:44:31.400 --> 00:44:34.179
one it is. Yeah. Oh, you have to show me. Can

00:44:34.179 --> 00:44:36.059
you take a picture and send it to me? Yes. Yes.

00:44:36.239 --> 00:44:38.789
Yes. Where did you, where did you get it? It's

00:44:38.789 --> 00:44:41.530
in my attic. I'll totally, I'll totally like

00:44:41.530 --> 00:44:43.769
do something with it. Yeah. I think it's signed

00:44:43.769 --> 00:44:45.949
also. I think it's like signed by somebody too.

00:44:46.230 --> 00:44:48.610
Not sure on that, but I think so. But I'll definitely

00:44:48.610 --> 00:44:52.130
send you the information. I love that. Have a

00:44:52.130 --> 00:44:53.869
great day. Bye everyone. Thank you for joining

00:44:53.869 --> 00:44:57.449
us. Bye Patty. Thank you. It was great. Okay.

00:44:57.550 --> 00:45:00.170
Bye bye. Bye bye. That was so good.