Dylan Bost and the Art of Alignment
In this powerful roundtable episode of Adrienne Barker Speaks, information architect and leadership coach Dylan Bost shares his journey through business success, personal collapse, addiction, healing, and profound self-awareness. Dylan explains why we are not our stories — but the ones telling them — and how true transformation begins with awareness, not force.
Joined by a live panel of coaches, healers, and community leaders, the conversation dives into living from the scar rather than the wound, subconscious conditioning, nervous system regulation, emotional integration, leadership alignment, and Dylan’s upcoming book The Seven Mirrors: A Guide to Remembering Yourself. The discussion becomes a rare, honest exploration of healing, identity, and what it means to lead — and live — consciously.
What happens when success no longer feels aligned? In this deeply reflective live conversation, Dylan Bost explores identity, awareness, healing, and what it truly means to live — and lead — from presence instead of performance.
- You are not your story — you are the one telling it, and you can choose to tell a new one.
- Awareness is the medicine — healing begins when unconscious patterns are seen, even before they’re “fixed.”
- Live from the scar, not the wound — healed experiences inform wisdom without emotional captivity.
- Alignment matters more than performance — success without alignment leads to collapse, not fulfillment.
- True leadership is human — integrating personal and professional life creates healthier businesses and lives.“I’m not my story — I’m the one telling it.” — Dylan BostAlt quote options:
- “Awareness, to me, is the greatest medicine there is.”
- “We’re not here to become a higher version of ourselves — we’re here to remember who we already are.”
- “Every trigger is a mirror showing us something that wants to be healed.”
Connect with Dylan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dylanbost/
00:00:02.680 --> 00:00:04.839
And I woke up this morning looking good. Look
00:00:04.839 --> 00:00:07.440
at my bangs. Hi, everyone. I'm talking about
00:00:07.440 --> 00:00:11.839
the bangs again. Okay, look who I have. Dylan
00:00:11.839 --> 00:00:16.570
Bost, boss. And he's so handsome. He's the most
00:00:16.570 --> 00:00:19.149
photogenic man I've ever seen in my life. Wait
00:00:19.149 --> 00:00:21.550
till you'll see his website. We're going to go
00:00:21.550 --> 00:00:24.429
deep dive on your website. But as always, I have
00:00:24.429 --> 00:00:27.489
no clue who I am interviewing. I did say, can
00:00:27.489 --> 00:00:29.190
I have like a couple of words? Because we are
00:00:29.190 --> 00:00:31.870
live on Chatter Social and streaming live on
00:00:31.870 --> 00:00:37.049
Facebook, LinkedIn, and YouTube. So Dylan, information
00:00:37.049 --> 00:00:40.170
architect, who are you? What do you do? Introduce
00:00:40.170 --> 00:00:44.740
yourself. You know, I love this question because
00:00:44.740 --> 00:00:47.859
I think it ties into some of the things I'm writing
00:00:47.859 --> 00:00:50.719
about in a book that I'm sure we'll discuss at
00:00:50.719 --> 00:00:53.759
some point. But, you know, I think that, you
00:00:53.759 --> 00:00:57.460
know, for a long time, I believe that I was my
00:00:57.460 --> 00:01:00.439
story. Right. I believe that the roles that I
00:01:00.439 --> 00:01:02.979
played, the success I had, the collapses, the
00:01:02.979 --> 00:01:07.400
failures. All of that stopped working. And what
00:01:07.400 --> 00:01:10.439
I've learned is that I'm not my story. I'm the
00:01:10.439 --> 00:01:12.920
one that's telling it. And so, you know, I'm
00:01:12.920 --> 00:01:16.780
a new person today than I was yesterday. So today,
00:01:17.219 --> 00:01:20.219
I build businesses, I write, and I teach from
00:01:20.219 --> 00:01:25.140
a place of presence. You know, less performance,
00:01:25.620 --> 00:01:28.489
less proving, but more alignment. And so, you
00:01:28.489 --> 00:01:31.430
know, I hesitate to say I, you know, I am these
00:01:31.430 --> 00:01:34.510
things. I'm rather continuing to grow and be
00:01:34.510 --> 00:01:38.969
something new. So we're live on chatter social
00:01:38.969 --> 00:01:42.230
and Katya is in the room and Katya, I'm thinking
00:01:42.230 --> 00:01:46.569
that. I feel like Dylan's kind of up your alley
00:01:46.569 --> 00:01:48.650
too, so I would love to invite you to ask any
00:01:48.650 --> 00:01:51.890
questions. Help me host if you don't mind. I
00:01:51.890 --> 00:01:54.969
would love it. Do you mind? Do you have the time?
00:01:55.450 --> 00:01:57.810
Oh, I got a thumbs up. So what would be your
00:01:57.810 --> 00:02:07.150
first question to Dylan listening to that? Oh
00:02:07.150 --> 00:02:10.389
my, you have to excuse me. Dylan, would you mind
00:02:10.389 --> 00:02:15.849
repeating it? Sure. I was cooking. No problem.
00:02:17.330 --> 00:02:19.629
I'm throwing this on you so it makes sense. So
00:02:19.629 --> 00:02:22.629
thank you. Thank you. Yeah, no problem. You know,
00:02:22.710 --> 00:02:25.050
I think so what I said was I believe the long
00:02:25.050 --> 00:02:28.289
time for a long time that I was my story. Right.
00:02:28.330 --> 00:02:30.819
And I think we all. Have these things where we
00:02:30.819 --> 00:02:32.979
tell stories depending on how old we are. We
00:02:32.979 --> 00:02:37.840
tell stories about who we were and and even Even
00:02:37.840 --> 00:02:41.039
you know what we've done right and and the roles
00:02:41.039 --> 00:02:44.560
that we've led the successes the failures Sometimes
00:02:44.560 --> 00:02:46.900
they even date back or we we start, you know
00:02:46.900 --> 00:02:49.259
way far back when we're in high school or college
00:02:49.259 --> 00:02:52.520
You know, I was this and and I did that. Um,
00:02:52.620 --> 00:02:54.580
but at some point, you know that stopped working
00:02:54.580 --> 00:02:58.379
for me and so what I What I say now is I've learned
00:02:58.379 --> 00:03:03.020
from that story that I'm not that, that I'm the
00:03:03.020 --> 00:03:06.919
one that's telling this story about who I am
00:03:06.919 --> 00:03:11.520
right now and what I am doing. So today I build
00:03:11.520 --> 00:03:15.400
businesses, I write, and I teach from this place
00:03:15.400 --> 00:03:18.979
of presence, less proving who I am, but more
00:03:18.979 --> 00:03:25.139
alignment. Oh my God, Dylan, I love this. And
00:03:25.139 --> 00:03:30.240
we are so aligned in what we do, I think. I would
00:03:30.240 --> 00:03:35.759
say, would you say that you are now teaching
00:03:35.759 --> 00:03:39.860
and showing up from the scar and not from the
00:03:39.860 --> 00:03:43.800
wound? Absolutely. Yeah, I love that. And I actually
00:03:43.800 --> 00:03:46.699
say that quite a bit. When I learned that analogy,
00:03:47.340 --> 00:03:49.979
it's so profound, right? Because I think when
00:03:49.979 --> 00:03:53.340
we We have this tendency. Well, I'd let's say
00:03:53.340 --> 00:03:56.400
I I had this tendency to talk from this place
00:03:56.400 --> 00:04:00.159
of being hurt Right. It's it's from that wound
00:04:00.159 --> 00:04:03.539
and it's it's easy to fall into that trap Whether
00:04:03.539 --> 00:04:06.080
it's and I have listen I have tons of failures
00:04:06.080 --> 00:04:08.479
and I'm happy to talk about all of them probably
00:04:08.479 --> 00:04:11.900
the biggest one was was the failure of a business
00:04:11.900 --> 00:04:16.040
from um from really you know well what manifested
00:04:16.040 --> 00:04:18.980
was drinking and addiction where it came from
00:04:18.980 --> 00:04:22.120
though was from this loss and from this trauma
00:04:22.120 --> 00:04:26.839
of being abandoned um in in in some sense um
00:04:26.839 --> 00:04:31.399
as a child and and so And it took a long time
00:04:31.399 --> 00:04:35.220
for me to not talk about that, not feel just
00:04:35.220 --> 00:04:38.240
emotional and that well up that we have inside
00:04:38.240 --> 00:04:42.160
of ourselves and talk from a place of hurt. But
00:04:42.160 --> 00:04:47.300
once it does scar over, once we work on healing
00:04:47.300 --> 00:04:51.560
that and once we can get past that, then it becomes
00:04:51.560 --> 00:04:55.120
a scar. And I think it's beautiful that these
00:04:55.120 --> 00:04:58.920
scars make us who we are. They don't define us.
00:04:58.939 --> 00:05:01.839
So you won't hear me talk about it. Oh, woe is
00:05:01.839 --> 00:05:04.379
me and and and because I don't believe that.
00:05:04.439 --> 00:05:07.040
I mean, I wouldn't go back a minute and trade
00:05:07.040 --> 00:05:10.540
any of those experiences because it's it's it's
00:05:10.540 --> 00:05:12.899
futile, right? I think it's it's really we'd
00:05:12.899 --> 00:05:14.420
love to. On one hand, you're like, oh, yeah,
00:05:14.439 --> 00:05:16.420
well, I'd go back and design this perfect life.
00:05:16.519 --> 00:05:19.939
But then again, if I. What does that mean to
00:05:19.939 --> 00:05:22.759
be perfect? And then who would I be today? Well,
00:05:22.800 --> 00:05:24.540
I wouldn't be having this discussion with both
00:05:24.540 --> 00:05:27.980
of you right now, for sure. Or if I was, then
00:05:27.980 --> 00:05:29.720
it would be a completely different discussion
00:05:29.720 --> 00:05:36.100
we're having. Oh, my God, that's so true. Adrian,
00:05:36.220 --> 00:05:39.500
you have brought someone really. I need to connect
00:05:39.500 --> 00:05:43.000
with you, Dylan. We need to connect. Absolutely.
00:05:44.100 --> 00:05:51.800
And yeah. You said an important thing. The things
00:05:51.800 --> 00:05:58.120
that happen to us do not define us. In a way,
00:05:58.560 --> 00:06:01.839
we have built ourselves through it, but when
00:06:01.839 --> 00:06:07.420
you learn to let go of the pain of it and just
00:06:07.420 --> 00:06:14.220
take with you the lesson, and that's it. And
00:06:14.220 --> 00:06:18.180
then to let go... That's freedom. That's freedom
00:06:18.180 --> 00:06:22.899
and that's That's your power you build power
00:06:22.899 --> 00:06:28.319
on that No wound just a scar telling the story,
00:06:28.319 --> 00:06:36.300
but without being Kept in a cage of that emotional
00:06:36.300 --> 00:06:43.720
Of that emotional cage now you can help now you
00:06:43.720 --> 00:06:48.750
can help from another Standing point and that's
00:06:48.750 --> 00:06:52.529
powerful Dylan. That's very powerful. Yeah, you
00:06:52.529 --> 00:06:56.370
know, I just want to say I it's unbelievable
00:06:56.370 --> 00:06:59.310
how like life lines up right? Like I haven't
00:06:59.310 --> 00:07:01.490
been feeling good. So Dylan I've canceled like
00:07:01.490 --> 00:07:04.560
almost. almost three weeks of interviews. But
00:07:04.560 --> 00:07:07.339
then today, I'm like, I want to do it, I want
00:07:07.339 --> 00:07:09.480
to do it live. And then for Katja to be in the
00:07:09.480 --> 00:07:11.279
room and Katja, could you introduce yourself?
00:07:11.319 --> 00:07:14.360
And then we have Shadow Fox, Stevie. Hi, Marion,
00:07:14.480 --> 00:07:17.100
I don't know you were recording live and the
00:07:17.100 --> 00:07:21.360
conversation, but like right away, I see that,
00:07:22.220 --> 00:07:25.000
what is it called? I like that, I think Coincadink,
00:07:25.139 --> 00:07:27.509
right? But there's so much more to it, so. I'd
00:07:27.509 --> 00:07:30.310
love to have this be like a roundtable conversation,
00:07:30.589 --> 00:07:32.649
because I think Katja is going to do a way better
00:07:32.649 --> 00:07:35.410
job of pulling information out of you than I
00:07:35.410 --> 00:07:38.990
would, and Shadow Fox too. So Katja, would you
00:07:38.990 --> 00:07:40.790
take a second to introduce yourself? And then
00:07:40.790 --> 00:07:43.110
I'm adding you to the show notes as a co -host,
00:07:43.269 --> 00:07:45.569
because I really appreciate this and definitely
00:07:45.569 --> 00:07:49.370
will connect you two together. So do you mind,
00:07:49.410 --> 00:07:51.110
Katja? Do you have time to introduce yourself?
00:07:52.490 --> 00:07:56.629
Of course, I don't mind it at all. So I'm a subconscious
00:07:56.629 --> 00:08:01.189
reprogramming expert. So what I do, what we were
00:08:01.189 --> 00:08:07.670
talking about, I help people rewire those old
00:08:07.670 --> 00:08:12.110
crystallized limiting beliefs that were created
00:08:12.110 --> 00:08:15.129
till the age of seven mostly, those are the most
00:08:15.129 --> 00:08:19.529
crystallized beliefs. And, you know, I work with
00:08:19.529 --> 00:08:25.519
high achieving people who look on the paper all
00:08:25.519 --> 00:08:29.519
well and settle, but inside they are crumbling.
00:08:29.920 --> 00:08:37.100
So I help them rewrite that part and become free.
00:08:38.120 --> 00:08:42.919
I help them to live from the scar, not from the
00:08:42.919 --> 00:08:48.289
wound. So that's it. Yeah, I wish I I wish we
00:08:48.289 --> 00:08:50.669
would have met 15 years ago. It would have been
00:08:50.669 --> 00:08:54.269
super helpful You know that story that you what
00:08:54.269 --> 00:08:59.210
you just said is so It is a hundred percent poignant
00:08:59.210 --> 00:09:02.429
for me because in essence what what happened
00:09:02.429 --> 00:09:05.879
to me and I Tell the story all the time. I was
00:09:05.879 --> 00:09:10.259
running an agency Advertising branding marketing
00:09:10.259 --> 00:09:13.860
agency super successful on paper, right? Everything
00:09:13.860 --> 00:09:18.279
was going for us You know staff of about 25 people
00:09:18.279 --> 00:09:21.759
wonderful beautiful staff members a great partner
00:09:21.759 --> 00:09:25.080
fantastic clients we won lots of awards making
00:09:25.080 --> 00:09:28.679
lots of money and Had a you know, have a beautiful
00:09:28.679 --> 00:09:34.429
wife beautiful children and yet Eroded myself
00:09:34.429 --> 00:09:38.230
on the inside. I mean in reality I remember standing
00:09:38.230 --> 00:09:40.990
up in my office one day and when all of this
00:09:40.990 --> 00:09:44.110
wonderful stuff was going on right and and because
00:09:44.110 --> 00:09:48.090
the key is I Hadn't addressed and I wasn't aware
00:09:48.090 --> 00:09:50.710
and I bring this word up awareness is so important
00:09:50.710 --> 00:09:54.129
to me I wasn't aware that I was dealing and had
00:09:54.129 --> 00:09:57.370
been dealing internally I packaged down these
00:09:57.370 --> 00:10:03.269
these aspects of my childhood into you know Compacted
00:10:03.269 --> 00:10:05.090
them into these little diamonds and forced them
00:10:05.090 --> 00:10:07.250
way down inside and didn't even know they existed
00:10:07.250 --> 00:10:10.289
and and asked myself this existential question
00:10:10.289 --> 00:10:13.230
It was like why am I why am I doing this? What
00:10:13.230 --> 00:10:17.129
is it for? And that's a scary question when all
00:10:17.129 --> 00:10:20.450
the stuff is great yet You know I and and I could
00:10:20.450 --> 00:10:24.970
see it, but I didn't feel it and and to me what
00:10:24.970 --> 00:10:28.759
was happening is I was realizing that that my
00:10:28.759 --> 00:10:31.399
work life was completely out of alignment with
00:10:31.399 --> 00:10:34.740
who I was. I was really good at it, but that
00:10:34.740 --> 00:10:36.960
didn't matter. And so it's, it's interesting
00:10:36.960 --> 00:10:40.120
that, that, that, and then that led to really
00:10:40.120 --> 00:10:42.419
complete downfall. I mean, it led to, you know,
00:10:42.519 --> 00:10:45.159
as, as, as I say, really blowing up everything
00:10:45.159 --> 00:10:49.000
because I didn't have someone like you and, or
00:10:49.000 --> 00:10:53.529
maybe I did. But the one thing that And I like
00:10:53.529 --> 00:10:55.809
to say now is reach outside, right, and look
00:10:55.809 --> 00:10:57.850
for those people that can help you, because I
00:10:57.850 --> 00:11:00.169
didn't. I didn't look to those people closest
00:11:00.169 --> 00:11:03.830
to me to help. And so it was really an interesting
00:11:03.830 --> 00:11:07.330
thing. And so then I spent the next 10 years
00:11:07.330 --> 00:11:10.470
rewiring and doing that internal work, trying
00:11:10.470 --> 00:11:13.429
to get to that place where I could feel comfortable
00:11:13.429 --> 00:11:16.149
with who I was and then be in alignment to build
00:11:16.149 --> 00:11:23.169
on that and build a new life for myself. Wow
00:11:23.169 --> 00:11:27.129
kudos to you kudos to you Dylan you did the work
00:11:27.129 --> 00:11:31.950
and listen 15 years ago. I Couldn't help you
00:11:31.950 --> 00:11:39.409
Almost I was actually physically dying Why it
00:11:39.409 --> 00:11:43.190
was you know physical illness is the last chain
00:11:43.190 --> 00:11:48.370
last link in the chain And I was there so actually
00:11:48.370 --> 00:11:54.379
I have I have built rebuilt again my identity
00:11:54.379 --> 00:11:59.139
to become someone who can help myself and now
00:11:59.139 --> 00:12:02.559
help others. So I think now is the perfect timing,
00:12:02.799 --> 00:12:05.779
Dylan, that we met. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
00:12:06.480 --> 00:12:11.960
I'm glad you're doing that work for sure. So
00:12:11.960 --> 00:12:16.740
you're in North Carolina? Actually, no, I'm actually
00:12:16.740 --> 00:12:19.860
in right now. I'm in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico.
00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:23.779
So I live with my family in both Mexico and Texas
00:12:23.779 --> 00:12:31.679
now. Oh, got it. What is your website? My personal
00:12:31.679 --> 00:12:34.899
website is Dylan Clayton bossed .com or you can
00:12:34.899 --> 00:12:37.279
go to Dylan bossed .com. Either of those work
00:12:37.279 --> 00:12:42.200
in the company website is sunny hq .io. Okay,
00:12:42.419 --> 00:12:46.799
I just want to pull it up and welcome to the
00:12:46.799 --> 00:12:50.000
stage. We have Shadow Fox. Are you able to unmute
00:12:50.000 --> 00:12:54.490
and say hello Shadow Fox? Yeah, hello. Hello,
00:12:54.490 --> 00:12:58.370
Dylan. It's it's nice to meet you. You know,
00:12:58.370 --> 00:13:03.509
pretty much like what Katya does, I also work
00:13:03.509 --> 00:13:06.830
within the framework of energy of helping people
00:13:06.830 --> 00:13:10.289
navigate life through awareness, you know, conscious
00:13:10.289 --> 00:13:15.070
awareness. Yeah. And I, you know, like when it
00:13:15.070 --> 00:13:18.850
comes to whether it be addictions and so on and
00:13:18.850 --> 00:13:21.970
so forth. Yeah, we tend to we tend to really
00:13:21.970 --> 00:13:25.710
be ourselves up sometimes don't we we do yeah
00:13:25.710 --> 00:13:29.490
no doubt yeah but it is it is very nice to meet
00:13:29.490 --> 00:13:34.309
you good to meet you it's uh i'm dylan this is
00:13:34.309 --> 00:13:36.909
probably maybe the first time you've ever been
00:13:36.909 --> 00:13:38.870
in a podcast where you have i know you have your
00:13:38.870 --> 00:13:41.090
own podcast so we want to hear about that but
00:13:41.090 --> 00:13:42.870
it may be the first time you've heard a podcast
00:13:42.870 --> 00:13:48.159
where there's other voices in the room It is
00:13:48.159 --> 00:13:50.840
really wonderful. We've got Stevie here if you
00:13:50.840 --> 00:13:54.240
want to Mike Stevie Marianne. Hello Jean Paul
00:13:54.240 --> 00:13:57.200
Really interesting so would love to if you'd
00:13:57.200 --> 00:14:01.379
like to introduce yourself Rosie amazing Leah's
00:14:01.379 --> 00:14:04.379
here Leah is from the chatter community She's
00:14:04.379 --> 00:14:07.580
a community manager and she works with us every
00:14:07.580 --> 00:14:10.279
day Leah everything worked out. Okay Dylan is
00:14:10.279 --> 00:14:14.870
here and I just want to show your website because
00:14:14.870 --> 00:14:18.509
It's really it's really lovely Dylan if you don't
00:14:18.509 --> 00:14:21.009
mind. I think it may go right ahead questions
00:14:21.009 --> 00:14:24.149
Sure. Okay. So first of all, I really meant it
00:14:24.149 --> 00:14:27.330
when I said I started by saying that Dylan has
00:14:27.330 --> 00:14:29.669
a really great face I mean like you could see
00:14:29.669 --> 00:14:33.379
it on the camera, but also It really like I've
00:14:33.379 --> 00:14:35.799
noticed all your pictures. So your coach a speaker
00:14:35.799 --> 00:14:39.500
and digital strategy So with everything we heard
00:14:39.500 --> 00:14:42.559
and I love having katya here and and actually
00:14:42.559 --> 00:14:46.399
asking some of those questions Um, so where are
00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:48.919
you now? Like what is what is your goal? You?
00:14:48.980 --> 00:14:50.659
Oh, tell us about the seven mirrors actually.
00:14:50.659 --> 00:14:53.460
Let's let's learn about this your book Yeah,
00:14:53.460 --> 00:14:56.460
so, um, the seven mirrors is is a book about
00:14:56.460 --> 00:14:59.980
remembering yourself. Um, so I guess it started
00:14:59.980 --> 00:15:04.190
when um about eight months ago, I actually was,
00:15:04.190 --> 00:15:06.230
I don't know if you're familiar with the Temascale,
00:15:06.309 --> 00:15:09.320
the Temascale is an indigenous essentially it's
00:15:09.320 --> 00:15:12.519
a sweat lodge. And so I've spent a lot of time
00:15:12.519 --> 00:15:16.360
in and around indigenous culture in Mexico and
00:15:16.360 --> 00:15:20.899
in Costa Rica. And I was actually in the middle
00:15:20.899 --> 00:15:24.500
of the ceremony and the way that it is formatted
00:15:24.500 --> 00:15:26.460
is essentially it's a sweat lodge, right? So
00:15:26.460 --> 00:15:29.299
you go inside this kind of dome shaped tent and
00:15:29.299 --> 00:15:33.259
there's hot stones that are brought in and they
00:15:33.259 --> 00:15:35.980
call it four doors. So it's basically the doors
00:15:35.980 --> 00:15:38.539
open, they bring hot stones in, close the door,
00:15:38.700 --> 00:15:41.919
you're in there, there's messages that are spoken
00:15:41.919 --> 00:15:43.980
about, there's usually singing and chanting.
00:15:45.100 --> 00:15:47.779
And at one point, the doors were divided into
00:15:47.779 --> 00:15:51.059
these four sections, and they're meant to represent
00:15:51.059 --> 00:15:55.559
basically four phases of life. And so from 0
00:15:55.559 --> 00:15:59.460
to 13, from 13 to 26, and so on and so forth,
00:15:59.600 --> 00:16:06.110
we got to the last door, and And that's to 52.
00:16:06.929 --> 00:16:11.330
And they always would ask, who's basically inside
00:16:11.330 --> 00:16:14.610
this 15 -minute container? Who's represented
00:16:14.610 --> 00:16:18.830
here and I had never raised my hand and and um
00:16:18.830 --> 00:16:22.750
One pablo jp, um turn and said would you know
00:16:22.750 --> 00:16:24.929
dylan? How old are you and at the time I was
00:16:24.929 --> 00:16:28.610
54? And and he said oh brother. He said you're
00:16:28.610 --> 00:16:32.590
an abuelo and now abuelo in Spanish is grandfather,
00:16:32.590 --> 00:16:36.149
but it also in this meaning it means that it
00:16:36.149 --> 00:16:39.230
now is the phase of life when you teach and you
00:16:39.230 --> 00:16:42.179
know hit me profoundly because I'd only known
00:16:42.179 --> 00:16:45.460
JP for really a short period of time, maybe five
00:16:45.460 --> 00:16:48.100
or six months. And so we didn't really have this,
00:16:48.200 --> 00:16:50.919
you know, it was this intimate thing for him
00:16:50.919 --> 00:16:53.740
to tell me from someone it wouldn't be expected
00:16:53.740 --> 00:16:57.179
from. And I'd heard this from a couple of others
00:16:57.179 --> 00:17:00.940
in the past and what that and I followed up with
00:17:00.940 --> 00:17:04.480
him in a conversation afterwards. And what I
00:17:04.480 --> 00:17:07.059
started to understand is the importance as we
00:17:07.059 --> 00:17:12.319
get to a certain age. of really making sure that
00:17:12.319 --> 00:17:17.000
we may not think that we know a lot, but whatever
00:17:17.000 --> 00:17:20.559
we do think we do know, it's really our responsibility
00:17:20.559 --> 00:17:27.480
to teach. And so this came really on the heels
00:17:27.480 --> 00:17:30.640
of, like I said, about 10 years of some deep
00:17:30.640 --> 00:17:33.680
reflection and inner work. And I really looked
00:17:33.680 --> 00:17:37.019
at what is it that I've learned that I feel really
00:17:37.259 --> 00:17:40.119
That I feel is really important that I relate
00:17:40.119 --> 00:17:43.920
to anyone that wants to listen and and so One
00:17:43.920 --> 00:17:48.480
is that story of rebuilding my life? I've to
00:17:48.480 --> 00:17:50.839
have had a lot of experience in the plant medicine
00:17:50.839 --> 00:17:54.720
world and in rewiring my own nervous system and
00:17:54.720 --> 00:17:57.740
in coming to know myself and this manifested
00:17:57.740 --> 00:18:01.140
itself in inserting a you know journaling and
00:18:01.140 --> 00:18:04.180
a manuscript and what was born out of that was
00:18:04.180 --> 00:18:08.980
this idea of using And in this word mirrors is
00:18:08.980 --> 00:18:12.420
spoken a lot in those circles in the idea of
00:18:12.420 --> 00:18:16.400
of what's reflected to us through other people
00:18:16.400 --> 00:18:20.559
usually and what began to unfold or two things
00:18:20.559 --> 00:18:24.339
this idea of mirrors and and and The fact that
00:18:24.339 --> 00:18:26.480
when we meet someone and so the way I usually
00:18:26.480 --> 00:18:29.170
explain this is for instance you know when we're
00:18:29.170 --> 00:18:32.150
out at let's say a party or dinner or some event
00:18:32.150 --> 00:18:35.569
and we meet someone and and and there's a good
00:18:35.569 --> 00:18:37.670
note or you know there's a positive and negative
00:18:37.670 --> 00:18:39.589
side to this it's easier for some reason for
00:18:39.589 --> 00:18:42.430
me to relate this on the negative side but when
00:18:42.430 --> 00:18:45.369
someone usually triggers us right when when we
00:18:45.369 --> 00:18:47.289
meet someone we just can't figure out why i just
00:18:47.289 --> 00:18:49.490
don't like that person you know it's not even
00:18:49.490 --> 00:18:51.569
that they said really anything offensive it's
00:18:51.569 --> 00:18:55.640
just something about them 100 % of the time,
00:18:55.700 --> 00:18:57.759
there's something in that person. There's some
00:18:57.759 --> 00:19:00.440
attributes, some behavior, some personality trait
00:19:00.440 --> 00:19:04.960
that's reflected that's actually us, right? And
00:19:04.960 --> 00:19:10.140
so if we can learn what that is and not fend
00:19:10.140 --> 00:19:13.380
it off, not ignore it, but learn from that person,
00:19:13.480 --> 00:19:15.819
what is it about that person that triggered me,
00:19:16.039 --> 00:19:19.259
we can usually find that there's something in
00:19:19.259 --> 00:19:23.000
us that needs to be healed. And so the idea of
00:19:23.000 --> 00:19:26.160
these seven mirrors walks us through through
00:19:26.160 --> 00:19:30.019
just my own experiences and how I've found these
00:19:30.019 --> 00:19:33.759
things and begins to diagram out kind of a format
00:19:33.759 --> 00:19:36.400
to help. Well, it's something that I used in
00:19:36.400 --> 00:19:38.779
my own life to help me through that process and
00:19:38.779 --> 00:19:42.460
learn from it. And then the core kind of the
00:19:42.460 --> 00:19:45.119
byline to this is a guide to remembering yourself.
00:19:45.700 --> 00:19:49.680
So I also heard for many, many years this idea
00:19:49.680 --> 00:19:52.000
and you all are probably familiar with this this
00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:55.599
idea of of our higher self right we want to we
00:19:55.599 --> 00:19:58.279
want to get to a point where where we're in alignment
00:19:58.279 --> 00:20:00.259
with our higher self and something about that
00:20:00.259 --> 00:20:02.440
didn't really sit right with me because that
00:20:02.440 --> 00:20:05.460
implied that i'm a lower version of that and
00:20:05.460 --> 00:20:08.460
what i came to really realize is i believe that
00:20:08.460 --> 00:20:12.140
it's less about trying to to be a higher version
00:20:12.140 --> 00:20:15.039
of ourselves it's more about simply remembering
00:20:15.039 --> 00:20:19.079
who we really are and so when we're born we're
00:20:19.079 --> 00:20:22.609
perfect Right where we've just crossed over right
00:20:22.609 --> 00:20:25.390
and we're this perfect version of We already
00:20:25.390 --> 00:20:27.609
know in fact who we are going to be at that point
00:20:27.609 --> 00:20:30.509
i'm convinced of it But then the conditioning
00:20:30.509 --> 00:20:33.490
starts. It's natural no harm. No foul. No criticism
00:20:33.490 --> 00:20:35.450
to the world But it's just the way it is right
00:20:35.450 --> 00:20:38.250
our parents condition us culture condition us
00:20:38.480 --> 00:20:41.779
um society conditions us all these forces start
00:20:41.779 --> 00:20:44.680
to shape then and depending on our fortitude
00:20:44.680 --> 00:20:48.259
and in my case because i'm a pleaser and i'm
00:20:48.259 --> 00:20:52.079
a good adapter i i easily started to put on you
00:20:52.079 --> 00:20:55.720
know, metaphorical clothing, I started to bring
00:20:55.720 --> 00:20:58.420
in armor and devices that would protect me from
00:20:58.420 --> 00:21:02.579
things. And I started to modify who I am. And
00:21:02.579 --> 00:21:04.640
so what I've really learned in the last, you
00:21:04.640 --> 00:21:08.059
know, five to 10 years is the idea is more about,
00:21:08.059 --> 00:21:12.289
you know, more about healing from those traumas,
00:21:12.529 --> 00:21:16.670
removing that armor, removing those heavy cloaks
00:21:16.670 --> 00:21:19.509
and things that we're wearing that change who
00:21:19.509 --> 00:21:24.890
we are and simply remembering who we are. and
00:21:24.890 --> 00:21:27.730
finding the beauty and the wonder in absolutely
00:21:27.730 --> 00:21:30.230
everything that we are. And so the book is really
00:21:30.230 --> 00:21:34.130
about that. It's a guide that's really led with,
00:21:34.329 --> 00:21:38.250
it's more meant to be somewhat of a memoir, but
00:21:38.250 --> 00:21:41.569
it's through the things that I remember and through
00:21:41.569 --> 00:21:44.490
the experiences that I have, this is how those
00:21:44.490 --> 00:21:46.890
things are manifested. And then I really also
00:21:46.890 --> 00:21:50.349
wanted it to be you know as much as possible
00:21:50.349 --> 00:21:52.309
look learn from these things you don't have to
00:21:52.309 --> 00:21:54.930
if you recognize these aspects in yourself that
00:21:54.930 --> 00:21:59.329
are that are some that You can compare to the
00:21:59.329 --> 00:22:01.809
experiences that i've had, you know Here's some
00:22:01.809 --> 00:22:04.089
things that that I wish I would have known 10
00:22:04.089 --> 00:22:06.750
years ago that would have helped me Um, maybe
00:22:06.750 --> 00:22:11.210
it would have saved me from some grief Take the
00:22:11.210 --> 00:22:15.539
mic Katya Katya Thank you, darling. So Dylan,
00:22:15.920 --> 00:22:18.099
I really think that we were separated at birth.
00:22:18.579 --> 00:22:23.180
So this is the first thing that I can tell. And
00:22:23.180 --> 00:22:26.460
I feel for sure purchase. Can you tell us where
00:22:26.460 --> 00:22:29.720
we can purchase your book? That book seems so
00:22:29.720 --> 00:22:34.829
on point. Not yet. I'm finishing it. So I'm at
00:22:34.829 --> 00:22:37.849
the very end right now. Yeah, I'm in the last
00:22:37.849 --> 00:22:41.549
kind of editing phase. So my hope is that it
00:22:41.549 --> 00:22:45.250
will be ready in the spring. So I'll definitely
00:22:45.250 --> 00:22:47.869
stay in touch. And you can go to my website right
00:22:47.869 --> 00:22:49.829
now. And there's a link at the top for book.
00:22:50.710 --> 00:22:52.710
And one of the easiest ways to stay involved
00:22:52.710 --> 00:22:55.569
is just to give me your email address. And as
00:22:55.569 --> 00:22:58.529
soon as things are ready, I'm going to send out
00:22:58.529 --> 00:23:03.299
the first chapter. to everyone and also that
00:23:03.299 --> 00:23:07.099
way also I have a lot of content that goes out
00:23:07.099 --> 00:23:10.380
on a monthly basis that does kind of start to
00:23:10.380 --> 00:23:14.819
get into the book topics as well. Awesome, awesome.
00:23:15.259 --> 00:23:20.720
I have a question. So what is a story that you
00:23:20.720 --> 00:23:24.200
would choose now to tell us from your early career
00:23:24.200 --> 00:23:29.849
that now feels like a mirror you wish You'd seen
00:23:29.849 --> 00:23:35.029
back then Yeah, I think one of the I think you
00:23:35.029 --> 00:23:39.529
know a story is That I would tell is that I always
00:23:39.529 --> 00:23:43.369
believed well to to court things You know that
00:23:43.369 --> 00:23:45.910
it's easy for us to fall into that trap of lack.
00:23:46.549 --> 00:23:49.990
So You know very different belief I have today
00:23:49.990 --> 00:23:52.390
is it's there there's this abundance for all
00:23:52.390 --> 00:23:56.410
of us. So in my first business I believe that
00:23:56.410 --> 00:23:59.789
we were in a competition with everyone out there,
00:23:59.990 --> 00:24:02.470
that we were constantly in this state of we have
00:24:02.470 --> 00:24:06.069
to win everything. It's a zero sum game. And
00:24:06.069 --> 00:24:08.589
what I know now today is it's not. There's more
00:24:08.589 --> 00:24:11.829
than enough business to support literally every
00:24:11.829 --> 00:24:15.309
business out there. The key is to find the alignment
00:24:15.309 --> 00:24:17.789
pieces, right? The key is that I don't need to
00:24:17.789 --> 00:24:21.250
sell what I have. And sales really kind of a...
00:24:21.200 --> 00:24:23.740
a dirty word to me to some extent. I don't need
00:24:23.740 --> 00:24:27.079
to align with those people who are looking for
00:24:27.079 --> 00:24:30.599
something that I can provide them. I don't need
00:24:30.599 --> 00:24:33.339
everyone, right? It's more important that we
00:24:33.339 --> 00:24:36.119
find this true alignment, this partnership, that
00:24:36.119 --> 00:24:38.900
there's value exchanged in both directions. And
00:24:38.900 --> 00:24:40.640
so in that first business, you know, we were
00:24:40.640 --> 00:24:43.799
constantly, you know, I think in a state of suffering,
00:24:43.960 --> 00:24:45.960
right? Because we're constantly, if we weren't
00:24:45.960 --> 00:24:48.779
winning it, then we were losing. And and then
00:24:48.779 --> 00:24:51.160
you start to look at how that negatively impacts
00:24:51.160 --> 00:24:54.079
your psyche. And then along with that, right,
00:24:54.119 --> 00:24:56.339
there's this beautiful statement of that that
00:24:56.339 --> 00:24:58.700
I learned along the way of that the universe
00:24:58.700 --> 00:25:03.039
is happening for us, not to us. Right. So there's
00:25:03.039 --> 00:25:06.359
a really it's a small thing, but it's so profound
00:25:06.359 --> 00:25:09.960
when we start to realize is that every loss.
00:25:10.220 --> 00:25:13.180
is a message. There's a learning. There's a lesson
00:25:13.180 --> 00:25:17.259
in that loss. The same thing for every win. There's
00:25:17.259 --> 00:25:19.960
a lesson in there. And so it's taking that forward
00:25:19.960 --> 00:25:24.299
and realizing that path wasn't necessarily for
00:25:24.299 --> 00:25:28.279
me. Maybe it looked wonderful and sexy that I
00:25:28.279 --> 00:25:32.480
was going to win that opportunity. But in reality,
00:25:33.460 --> 00:25:36.740
it was in the not winning it that was more important
00:25:36.740 --> 00:25:39.160
for me to take that learning forward in my life.
00:25:41.200 --> 00:25:45.380
Dylan, I just want to say I'm enjoying this conversation.
00:25:46.400 --> 00:25:48.880
So we're live on Channer Social, which I mentioned,
00:25:48.940 --> 00:25:53.440
and it's a global app. So I am so excited to
00:25:53.440 --> 00:25:56.759
introduce you to probably one of the smartest
00:25:56.759 --> 00:26:00.220
human beings I know, and it's Jean -Paul. Jean
00:26:00.220 --> 00:26:02.279
-Paul, please take the mic. I'm so glad you're
00:26:02.279 --> 00:26:06.529
here. No, I appreciate that Adrian. Hello Dylan.
00:26:06.630 --> 00:26:08.789
It's a pleasure to hear your story and what you
00:26:08.789 --> 00:26:11.269
bring forth and what you just read my question
00:26:11.269 --> 00:26:16.230
to you is In your empirical observation through
00:26:16.230 --> 00:26:18.390
your client and and the people that you meet
00:26:18.390 --> 00:26:23.269
how do they Create or fall into this narrative
00:26:23.269 --> 00:26:26.750
of lack because we start you know as as children
00:26:26.750 --> 00:26:30.210
abundant and all of that What is what is your
00:26:30.210 --> 00:26:33.400
observation of how people? End up in that space
00:26:33.400 --> 00:26:36.079
where we're running and rushing after everything
00:26:36.079 --> 00:26:43.000
to try to fill that black Well, I think it doesn't
00:26:43.000 --> 00:26:45.180
help you know, I know we're global here and then
00:26:45.180 --> 00:26:47.539
I don't know about other countries But you know
00:26:47.539 --> 00:26:51.039
and they in the US right? I think that You know,
00:26:51.039 --> 00:26:53.640
and this is present now more than ever, you know
00:26:53.640 --> 00:26:58.099
this idea that we are our successes you know
00:26:58.099 --> 00:27:02.980
and and and It's this trap that we we've conditioned
00:27:02.980 --> 00:27:07.980
ourselves in society now to you know for instance
00:27:07.980 --> 00:27:10.220
I was thinking about this just yesterday and
00:27:10.220 --> 00:27:12.680
I'm in this was so profound this hit me now I'm
00:27:12.680 --> 00:27:16.059
the the husband of a wonderful woman Kimberly
00:27:16.059 --> 00:27:18.740
and and I'm the father of three but two of them
00:27:18.740 --> 00:27:21.880
are daughters and I thought You know what would
00:27:21.880 --> 00:27:25.380
make me? You know not more happy than anything
00:27:25.380 --> 00:27:28.180
in the world, but but I thought about this juxtaposition
00:27:28.180 --> 00:27:32.519
of Motherhood and and the importance of that
00:27:32.519 --> 00:27:35.140
and i'm not actually sure that there's any more
00:27:35.140 --> 00:27:41.359
important job. Then that and and and so that
00:27:41.359 --> 00:27:44.619
is an example right we we in the us i know you
00:27:44.619 --> 00:27:48.259
know we look at at women who don't. You know
00:27:48.259 --> 00:27:50.480
go out in the world and forge a path and that
00:27:50.480 --> 00:27:53.279
look that's fine there's no doubt it's wonderful
00:27:53.279 --> 00:27:56.079
and i know this is a huge topic but i looked
00:27:56.079 --> 00:27:58.559
at the importance of what what's happening now
00:27:58.559 --> 00:28:01.579
because culturally we play so little importance
00:28:01.579 --> 00:28:04.839
on motherhood and more rather more importance
00:28:04.839 --> 00:28:07.920
on people going out and being successful and
00:28:07.920 --> 00:28:12.619
having careers and jobs. The problem is, as we've
00:28:12.619 --> 00:28:15.019
seen, is what happens to the kids, right? And
00:28:15.019 --> 00:28:17.819
that's not to put all the pressure on mothers.
00:28:18.180 --> 00:28:20.779
Obviously, fathers have a huge role in that as
00:28:20.779 --> 00:28:24.559
well. But it hit me like a ton of bricks, right?
00:28:26.099 --> 00:28:29.160
And that's, I think, one small aspect. and that
00:28:29.160 --> 00:28:32.559
bleeds over into young boys as well, is that
00:28:32.559 --> 00:28:35.640
we, from the time, and look at it today, and
00:28:35.640 --> 00:28:38.380
this is a cliche, right? I mean, it's ever present
00:28:38.380 --> 00:28:40.759
in nearly every television show out there, right?
00:28:40.799 --> 00:28:46.059
This idea that we're deciding really the future
00:28:46.059 --> 00:28:49.829
of our kids before they're born. We have... You
00:28:49.829 --> 00:28:52.150
know, we're deciding what schools they go to
00:28:52.150 --> 00:28:55.569
and their pathway from from kindergarten is through
00:28:55.569 --> 00:28:58.009
this, you know, elementary school into this middle
00:28:58.009 --> 00:29:01.309
school into this. And I think about that as it
00:29:01.309 --> 00:29:04.210
relates to my own life. And it's like, I mean,
00:29:04.309 --> 00:29:07.630
if if I were to pre -design where I need to be
00:29:07.630 --> 00:29:10.490
in 10 years and not the direction isn't good
00:29:10.490 --> 00:29:14.750
because directions good, but but trying to format
00:29:14.750 --> 00:29:18.549
that in a specific way where it's rigid is not
00:29:18.549 --> 00:29:22.410
good. There's a great analogy, I love that. So
00:29:22.410 --> 00:29:24.009
whether you believe that we went to the moon
00:29:24.009 --> 00:29:26.450
or not is not important in this analogy. Let's
00:29:26.450 --> 00:29:28.490
assume that we did that and I know that's another
00:29:28.490 --> 00:29:31.690
topic. But the beauty of this analogy is when
00:29:31.690 --> 00:29:34.829
NASA decided to go to the moon, right, we'd never
00:29:34.829 --> 00:29:36.789
been there before. How in the world are we gonna
00:29:36.789 --> 00:29:41.490
get there? It's a bazillion miles away. And we've
00:29:41.490 --> 00:29:43.490
never done it before and technically we don't
00:29:43.490 --> 00:29:45.890
know how to do it. But what they understood is
00:29:45.890 --> 00:29:49.079
we don't have to know how to get there. But we
00:29:49.079 --> 00:29:51.440
need to know a couple things. Where we are today,
00:29:52.039 --> 00:29:55.000
where we desire to go, and then we simply need
00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:58.400
to decide the next step, right? We need to, we
00:29:58.400 --> 00:30:01.200
need to decide on the next thousand meters. We
00:30:01.200 --> 00:30:03.900
need to decide, or another analogy is a flashlight
00:30:03.900 --> 00:30:07.000
in the dark, right? I don't need to know what
00:30:07.000 --> 00:30:09.440
is 50 yards out. I just need to know what's right
00:30:09.440 --> 00:30:11.099
in front of me. And the most important thing
00:30:11.099 --> 00:30:13.160
that I make, the most important decision I have
00:30:13.160 --> 00:30:16.519
to make is what is that next step to take? And
00:30:16.519 --> 00:30:19.750
so I think that There's some real great, profound
00:30:19.750 --> 00:30:29.029
information in that. Champal, any response? I
00:30:29.029 --> 00:30:31.430
really appreciate that. Thank you, Dylan, for
00:30:31.430 --> 00:30:33.769
that. The point that you make on motherhood is
00:30:33.769 --> 00:30:36.650
a very, very important one, I think. There is
00:30:36.650 --> 00:30:41.970
a relegation in modern culture to consider that
00:30:41.970 --> 00:30:44.690
a substandard for whatever reason, culturally
00:30:44.690 --> 00:30:48.509
speaking, from the past. It reminded me of a
00:30:48.509 --> 00:30:50.950
conversation I had with a young woman who was
00:30:50.950 --> 00:30:56.250
feeling down because her husband was claiming
00:30:56.250 --> 00:30:59.049
that she was not ambitious enough. And the more
00:30:59.049 --> 00:31:01.190
we started questioning into that, we realized
00:31:01.190 --> 00:31:04.410
that he was not living up to his ambitions. It
00:31:04.410 --> 00:31:07.130
was projecting it onto her when she was living
00:31:07.130 --> 00:31:09.309
the ambition that she had. She was successful.
00:31:09.529 --> 00:31:11.490
She wanted to be the wife. She wanted to have
00:31:11.490 --> 00:31:14.190
kids. She is the wife. She has the kids. She's
00:31:14.190 --> 00:31:16.609
living her dreams. She loves what she was doing.
00:31:17.490 --> 00:31:19.930
You don't need to take on that belief that you're
00:31:19.930 --> 00:31:21.509
not ambitious enough. You're actually the one
00:31:21.509 --> 00:31:24.109
successful. He's not the one living up to that.
00:31:24.450 --> 00:31:26.809
And when you bring forth that important part
00:31:26.809 --> 00:31:33.250
is motherhood is as valuable of a way of life,
00:31:33.529 --> 00:31:37.950
a way of being, a profession. And yeah, thank
00:31:37.950 --> 00:31:40.000
you for just... mentioning that I appreciate
00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:42.500
that yeah and that's I mean it's interesting
00:31:42.500 --> 00:31:44.500
right you just brought up the mirror the mirror
00:31:44.500 --> 00:31:48.539
aspect if he had recognized what he saw in her
00:31:48.539 --> 00:31:51.900
rather than rather than being resistant to it
00:31:51.900 --> 00:31:54.539
but in accepting it and saying and seeing in
00:31:54.539 --> 00:31:56.819
her the positive instead of the negative then
00:31:56.819 --> 00:31:59.779
that helps to inform him on what he needs doesn't
00:31:59.779 --> 00:32:02.519
like fix everything but it's an awareness right
00:32:02.519 --> 00:32:06.730
it's an awareness it says oh What I see is something
00:32:06.730 --> 00:32:09.589
that I want. So how can I make that happen in
00:32:09.589 --> 00:32:13.089
my own life? And I think that's just as important
00:32:13.089 --> 00:32:16.130
as seeing, you know, well, I mean, it's the difference
00:32:16.130 --> 00:32:18.150
between seeing the positive in it instead of
00:32:18.150 --> 00:32:23.650
seeing something that's negative. John Paul,
00:32:23.769 --> 00:32:27.690
thank you. Oh, go ahead. Go back to you, Adrian.
00:32:28.069 --> 00:32:30.529
No, I can't thank you enough. I mean, you pulled
00:32:30.529 --> 00:32:34.150
out some great information. Amazing. Welcome,
00:32:34.170 --> 00:32:38.630
Laura, to the stage. Excited to have you. So
00:32:38.630 --> 00:32:41.910
and Shadow Fox, if you want to take the mic at
00:32:41.910 --> 00:32:44.589
all, I feel like you have maybe some questions
00:32:44.589 --> 00:32:47.650
or you would add something to this conversation.
00:32:47.789 --> 00:32:52.549
I have a lot of respect for you. So so you are
00:32:52.549 --> 00:32:57.450
a leadership coach. So who? What is your niche
00:32:57.450 --> 00:33:02.289
market, Dylan, so I can understand? For the most
00:33:02.289 --> 00:33:05.970
part, what I'm doing right now is I'm running
00:33:05.970 --> 00:33:09.569
a business called Sunny HQ. It's on the other
00:33:09.569 --> 00:33:12.869
side of the brain. I'm using a lot of the things
00:33:12.869 --> 00:33:16.890
that we talked about to help inform me on how
00:33:16.890 --> 00:33:19.690
to be a better leader and how to build a more
00:33:19.690 --> 00:33:27.640
conscious company. White Glove Concierge WordPress
00:33:27.640 --> 00:33:32.079
hosting from end to end. How all of this starts
00:33:32.079 --> 00:33:35.079
to relate to that means that I built a business
00:33:35.079 --> 00:33:40.440
today that allows me to live a life where I know
00:33:40.440 --> 00:33:43.819
my family, right? So I don't work 12 hours a
00:33:43.819 --> 00:33:47.579
day for five, six days a week. I'm able to start
00:33:47.579 --> 00:33:50.650
to connect with the people around me. And then
00:33:50.650 --> 00:33:53.329
a big part of what I'm doing today is, is in
00:33:53.329 --> 00:33:56.309
writing this book, and then looking for the ways
00:33:56.309 --> 00:34:00.829
that I can share that information. So that in
00:34:00.829 --> 00:34:03.369
the past has been, before the book came, came
00:34:03.369 --> 00:34:07.190
to be, that's, that's been in kind of concierge
00:34:07.190 --> 00:34:09.769
-level hosting, or, excuse me, concierge -level
00:34:09.769 --> 00:34:13.170
coaching with, with leaderships, with leaders
00:34:13.170 --> 00:34:16.230
and with leadership groups. So helping essentially
00:34:16.230 --> 00:34:19.250
to, to uncover a lot of the aspects of of what
00:34:19.250 --> 00:34:23.170
we've discussed in business. One of the things
00:34:23.170 --> 00:34:26.090
that I learned after the downfall in my first
00:34:26.090 --> 00:34:28.690
business is that I really started to understand
00:34:28.690 --> 00:34:32.030
that I had one of the biggest problems was I
00:34:32.030 --> 00:34:35.849
had separated my personal life, had compartmentalized
00:34:35.849 --> 00:34:39.210
it from my business life, right? That the business
00:34:39.210 --> 00:34:42.389
was all important. The business was everything.
00:34:42.730 --> 00:34:46.619
And in reality, I mean, it's like, trying to
00:34:46.619 --> 00:34:48.940
drive a boat in two different directions at the
00:34:48.940 --> 00:34:54.000
same time. It just won't work. And so what I
00:34:54.000 --> 00:34:59.219
do is try to teach leaders and introduce into
00:34:59.219 --> 00:35:04.820
teams that idea that we are humans, right? And
00:35:04.820 --> 00:35:08.860
this is so, I guess, much more relative today
00:35:08.860 --> 00:35:12.519
with regard to AI, because I get asked this question
00:35:12.519 --> 00:35:16.000
a lot, is how is AI affecting business? The important
00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:18.500
thing to understand with AI is that it's a tool.
00:35:18.980 --> 00:35:23.679
And so it can help us actually take, it can take
00:35:23.679 --> 00:35:26.559
away a lot of the aspects of our business that
00:35:26.559 --> 00:35:30.380
are mundane, that take away our time. So I can
00:35:30.380 --> 00:35:33.340
essentially boil down many tasks and things that
00:35:33.340 --> 00:35:35.519
would literally take four or five, six hours
00:35:35.519 --> 00:35:38.980
of my time into minutes. And that allows me not
00:35:38.980 --> 00:35:42.300
to work more, right? But that allows me to be
00:35:42.300 --> 00:35:45.639
available more for my family. And so those are
00:35:45.639 --> 00:35:47.639
some of the principles that I try to take into
00:35:47.639 --> 00:35:51.900
business. And what I learned early on when I
00:35:51.900 --> 00:35:53.739
started this new business, one of the things
00:35:53.739 --> 00:35:56.380
I took actually from Google, I love this aspect.
00:35:56.780 --> 00:35:58.880
And I have not worked for Google, but this is
00:35:58.880 --> 00:36:01.780
a story that I read that Google allowed for like
00:36:01.780 --> 00:36:06.860
30 % of their. So let me make a small point.
00:36:07.340 --> 00:36:11.349
When I ran my first business, I tried to. Eek
00:36:11.349 --> 00:36:14.690
out every hour of every day if not just for me
00:36:14.690 --> 00:36:17.349
but from employees it's natural right we wanna
00:36:17.349 --> 00:36:20.929
if we're working harder and we're producing more
00:36:20.929 --> 00:36:24.449
than we make more money and that's very one dimensional
00:36:24.449 --> 00:36:27.489
right we also done that now it's not sustainable
00:36:27.489 --> 00:36:29.889
because what's gonna happen from that is you're
00:36:29.889 --> 00:36:32.150
gonna you're gonna break down your employees
00:36:32.150 --> 00:36:34.409
are gonna break down we can't sustain this level.
00:36:35.089 --> 00:36:37.769
And and when I heard this from Google, it was
00:36:37.769 --> 00:36:40.130
interesting. It's they allowed for this opportunity
00:36:40.130 --> 00:36:43.050
of about 30 % of the time is like mandated. And
00:36:43.050 --> 00:36:44.590
I don't know if this is still the case, but it
00:36:44.590 --> 00:36:48.010
was 10 years ago that that if let's say employee
00:36:48.010 --> 00:36:51.409
worked, you know, 40 hours a week, then you know.
00:36:51.630 --> 00:36:54.889
12 hours of that was supposed to be like freebie
00:36:54.889 --> 00:36:59.150
time for them to just expand on and pursue something
00:36:59.150 --> 00:37:01.449
that they were interested in, whether related
00:37:01.449 --> 00:37:04.469
to work or not. And in fact, some incredible
00:37:04.469 --> 00:37:06.710
things came out of that. Google Maps came out
00:37:06.710 --> 00:37:09.449
of that. And what that told me, though, is kind
00:37:09.449 --> 00:37:13.329
of twofold. It was like, one, that can have a
00:37:13.329 --> 00:37:16.659
really positive effect on the business. because
00:37:16.659 --> 00:37:18.699
it might develop a product that the business
00:37:18.699 --> 00:37:21.400
is never aware of, but at very least what it's
00:37:21.400 --> 00:37:26.780
going to do is allow people the freedom to be
00:37:26.780 --> 00:37:29.619
more relaxed in their environment and be better
00:37:29.619 --> 00:37:33.039
producers even inside the less amount of time.
00:37:33.699 --> 00:37:36.300
And to me, it was very easy for me to see because
00:37:36.300 --> 00:37:38.599
I was like, well, if I'm going to spend a third
00:37:38.599 --> 00:37:41.800
of my time reading a book, then I'm definitely
00:37:41.800 --> 00:37:44.679
going to be happier when I talk to a client or
00:37:44.679 --> 00:37:47.420
happy. when I do the design work or develop that
00:37:47.420 --> 00:37:50.420
project. And so it was very obvious in that environment.
00:37:50.480 --> 00:37:52.739
And so that's, those are some of the things that
00:37:52.739 --> 00:37:55.960
I try to take to, to these groups is, is, is,
00:37:55.960 --> 00:37:59.360
and we work through, I've, I've developed a format
00:37:59.360 --> 00:38:02.119
out of the book that is, that probably will be
00:38:02.119 --> 00:38:04.619
a second book about leadership as I've started
00:38:04.619 --> 00:38:06.659
to encapsulate that and bring that to kind of
00:38:06.659 --> 00:38:10.300
a platform. But that's, that's what I do in the
00:38:10.300 --> 00:38:14.409
coaching world. I love it. I love it. So we have
00:38:14.409 --> 00:38:16.730
two questions. We have Shadow Fox first and then
00:38:16.730 --> 00:38:21.670
Katja again. So Shadow Fox, take it away. Dylan,
00:38:21.989 --> 00:38:25.670
you know, this is phenomenal what you're really
00:38:25.670 --> 00:38:29.489
bringing forward to the people. Simply because
00:38:29.489 --> 00:38:32.289
whether you're looking at business or you're
00:38:32.289 --> 00:38:35.510
looking at your life, there really has to be
00:38:35.510 --> 00:38:38.110
like that happy medium. You've got to be in the
00:38:38.110 --> 00:38:45.719
flow with both. What I've noticed is that businesses
00:38:45.719 --> 00:38:50.400
that are shifting to the aspect of that heart
00:38:50.400 --> 00:38:55.280
-based, recognizing, giving respect, whether
00:38:55.280 --> 00:39:00.260
to the employees or even to the clientele. For
00:39:00.260 --> 00:39:04.960
instance, I have a neighbor he is a multimillionaire
00:39:04.960 --> 00:39:11.519
and This guy is angry and miserable and he Talks
00:39:11.519 --> 00:39:14.460
to everybody like they're you know, these lower
00:39:14.460 --> 00:39:18.019
-class citizens, you know, but yet he has a ton
00:39:18.019 --> 00:39:23.699
of money and so I mean even the even the uh energy
00:39:23.699 --> 00:39:29.519
that he puts out is it's toxic and um it's kind
00:39:29.519 --> 00:39:32.079
of like i really wish i mean i would love to
00:39:32.079 --> 00:39:36.099
get your book and send it to him you know and
00:39:36.099 --> 00:39:40.139
and and no seriously because one of the things
00:39:40.139 --> 00:39:44.760
i also believe um is that if you're looking at
00:39:44.760 --> 00:39:47.880
you know becoming a leader in any capacity whether
00:39:47.880 --> 00:39:52.559
it's business or even being a parent that In
00:39:52.559 --> 00:39:56.900
one aspect you learn to follow first what does
00:39:56.900 --> 00:40:00.599
it feel like to be on the back end and then don't
00:40:00.599 --> 00:40:04.559
treat everybody else the way you were treated
00:40:04.559 --> 00:40:09.320
so to speak right on. Because once we step into
00:40:09.320 --> 00:40:13.280
that heart -based aspect then we open up into
00:40:13.280 --> 00:40:17.739
the flow We we really do and so I'm just I'm
00:40:17.739 --> 00:40:22.519
really enjoying listening to you speak and And
00:40:22.519 --> 00:40:25.539
my husband and I also have we do have a book
00:40:25.539 --> 00:40:28.880
out and it's pretty much in the same Alignment
00:40:28.880 --> 00:40:31.780
for what you're bringing forward. But again mine
00:40:31.780 --> 00:40:38.719
is based within the realm of energy Yeah, that's
00:40:38.719 --> 00:41:02.219
beautiful. And if you're speaking, we are not
00:41:02.219 --> 00:41:05.940
hearing. Katya, thank you. I was on mute. Thank
00:41:05.940 --> 00:41:09.840
you so much. I was saying that you would be perfect
00:41:09.840 --> 00:41:13.539
here on ChatterSocial because ShadowFox does
00:41:13.539 --> 00:41:16.659
teaching, Jean -Paul does rooms, Katya does room,
00:41:16.860 --> 00:41:19.880
Laura's in the room does rooms. So definitely
00:41:19.880 --> 00:41:23.539
want you to take a look at ChatterSocial. But
00:41:23.539 --> 00:41:27.079
Katya, thank you for recognizing that I was unmiked.
00:41:27.400 --> 00:41:29.639
And take the mic, please. I know you have a question,
00:41:29.679 --> 00:41:35.170
so I would love to hear it. Thank you. So we
00:41:35.170 --> 00:41:39.550
all know that behind, you know, badges, behind
00:41:39.550 --> 00:41:44.269
roles, there are humans. And that's very important
00:41:44.269 --> 00:41:49.170
to know. But I have a question for you. How can
00:41:49.170 --> 00:41:54.230
someone tell if they are protecting their identity
00:41:54.230 --> 00:41:58.230
instead of serving what the business actually
00:41:58.230 --> 00:42:07.690
needs? You know, I think, and this is my answer
00:42:07.690 --> 00:42:10.710
for a lot of things these days, is that, you
00:42:10.710 --> 00:42:14.969
know, and you, I guess, this was just brought
00:42:14.969 --> 00:42:18.329
up in that it's more about feeling that it is
00:42:18.329 --> 00:42:24.599
thinking. You know, I think that... We've got
00:42:24.599 --> 00:42:28.219
to move out of and I spent so many years in my
00:42:28.219 --> 00:42:31.760
head Because our brains are these beautiful things,
00:42:31.760 --> 00:42:34.880
right? The assumption is is that our brain is
00:42:34.880 --> 00:42:38.320
who we are and in reality the brain is just an
00:42:38.320 --> 00:42:41.280
organ like every other organ it has a singular
00:42:41.280 --> 00:42:44.719
purpose and that singular purpose is to solve
00:42:44.719 --> 00:42:48.360
problems and Once I started to understand this
00:42:48.360 --> 00:42:51.960
I became really It was a little bit scary, because
00:42:51.960 --> 00:42:54.099
I started to ask myself the question of, well,
00:42:54.360 --> 00:42:56.920
if I'm not what I'm thinking, then what am I?
00:42:57.780 --> 00:43:02.000
But the part about that is that if the brain
00:43:02.000 --> 00:43:04.920
is not given a problem to solve, then it's going
00:43:04.920 --> 00:43:08.639
to come up with its own problems. And so there's
00:43:08.639 --> 00:43:14.179
a trap therein. And so moving more from that
00:43:14.179 --> 00:43:17.920
thinking side into the feeling, and that's really
00:43:17.920 --> 00:43:22.619
a guide a guide point for me today is if before
00:43:22.619 --> 00:43:26.079
I make any decision, and I love to practice this,
00:43:26.300 --> 00:43:28.239
and I still fall into it all the time where I
00:43:28.239 --> 00:43:30.199
start to make a decision, I'm like, wait a minute.
00:43:31.699 --> 00:43:35.900
And I've even developed some questions for myself
00:43:35.900 --> 00:43:39.159
to ask myself if it's in alignment with the key
00:43:39.159 --> 00:43:44.960
though is does it feel right? So if the decision
00:43:44.960 --> 00:43:48.539
feels right, And truly starting to understand
00:43:48.539 --> 00:43:51.500
what that means to feel that literally in your
00:43:51.500 --> 00:43:55.639
body some simple things are Are using muscle
00:43:55.639 --> 00:43:57.739
testing and if people aren't aware of what muscle
00:43:57.739 --> 00:43:59.820
testing is I would just do some you know Google
00:43:59.820 --> 00:44:01.980
what muscle testing There's some really simple
00:44:01.980 --> 00:44:04.679
things one of the easiest is to stand upright
00:44:04.679 --> 00:44:08.630
Just well balanced and ask yourself the question,
00:44:08.650 --> 00:44:10.690
and this is a fun thing that people can do right
00:44:10.690 --> 00:44:15.050
now, is just stand up and just ask a question.
00:44:15.349 --> 00:44:18.369
A yes or no has to be a yes or no question. And
00:44:18.369 --> 00:44:20.429
some easy things, if you don't know, you know,
00:44:20.530 --> 00:44:23.449
necessarily what to ask, you know, ask some of
00:44:23.449 --> 00:44:26.369
these global questions. Simply say war and peace
00:44:26.369 --> 00:44:30.409
or love or hate, right? Meaning if you say the
00:44:30.409 --> 00:44:33.010
word love, watch your body, your body will lean
00:44:33.010 --> 00:44:36.429
forward. If you say hate, your body will lean
00:44:36.429 --> 00:44:40.289
backwards. And the same thing with war and peace.
00:44:41.110 --> 00:44:44.050
And you can ask yourself these questions out
00:44:44.050 --> 00:44:48.530
loud. And it's really amazing. I still try to
00:44:48.530 --> 00:44:50.829
trick myself all the time, because if I really
00:44:50.829 --> 00:44:55.250
want one thing over another, it involves becoming
00:44:55.250 --> 00:44:57.250
kind of aware of where your body is and being
00:44:57.250 --> 00:45:00.090
still in that moment. But it's interesting, once
00:45:00.090 --> 00:45:03.030
you learn that your body doesn't lie, your head
00:45:03.030 --> 00:45:05.449
does all the time, because you're in it. And
00:45:05.449 --> 00:45:09.289
let me, I guess, just clarify that your head
00:45:09.289 --> 00:45:11.769
isn't lying, necessarily, right, your head doesn't
00:45:11.769 --> 00:45:15.170
really care what the answer is, is choosing based
00:45:15.170 --> 00:45:17.170
on a lot of different variables and factors.
00:45:17.550 --> 00:45:21.070
And so your body, though, has a true awareness
00:45:21.070 --> 00:45:24.769
of what what your soul what your what your entire
00:45:24.769 --> 00:45:28.690
embodied, you know, spirit wants, and it's going
00:45:28.690 --> 00:45:31.150
to help you. point you in the right direction
00:45:31.150 --> 00:45:35.789
by that answer. That's how I really start to
00:45:35.789 --> 00:45:38.369
look at that and answer some of those questions
00:45:38.369 --> 00:45:44.230
for myself. That's perfect, Dylan. Let me tell
00:45:44.230 --> 00:45:48.210
you that because this is something that I do
00:45:48.210 --> 00:45:53.150
with my clients all the time. That's a testing
00:45:53.150 --> 00:45:59.150
and many people do not know that body is connected
00:45:59.150 --> 00:46:04.429
to the subconscious mind. So the body will tell
00:46:04.429 --> 00:46:08.829
you the truth while mind will just keep up with
00:46:08.829 --> 00:46:14.650
it, just trying to make sense of it. Yeah, yeah.
00:46:15.030 --> 00:46:17.530
Sometimes I don't sometimes I don't think I want
00:46:17.530 --> 00:46:19.429
to know the answer. It's funny. I'll sit with
00:46:19.429 --> 00:46:23.139
something. I don't have a good example right
00:46:23.139 --> 00:46:25.159
now, but I'll sit with something and know it.
00:46:25.260 --> 00:46:27.480
It's in the back of my head. Something I also
00:46:27.480 --> 00:46:30.960
like to do is talk to myself out loud more these
00:46:30.960 --> 00:46:35.539
days. But I'll sit and maybe three days ago by
00:46:35.539 --> 00:46:38.179
why don't you just stand up and ask that question?
00:46:38.219 --> 00:46:41.019
The answer is there. Um, and it's an interesting
00:46:41.019 --> 00:46:43.420
thing. It's going to sound weird. You know, I
00:46:43.420 --> 00:46:44.679
mean, there's some people out there listening
00:46:44.679 --> 00:46:46.559
right now. They're like, yeah, I get it. And
00:46:46.559 --> 00:46:48.079
there's others like, that's the weirdest thing
00:46:48.079 --> 00:46:50.820
I've ever heard. It takes practice, right? But
00:46:50.820 --> 00:46:53.340
once you, once you get it, um, or maybe some
00:46:53.340 --> 00:46:55.179
of you've been to your practitioner out there,
00:46:55.179 --> 00:46:57.719
like you said, Katia, that, um, where you practice
00:46:57.719 --> 00:47:00.739
that, um, it's interesting how much, if you can
00:47:00.739 --> 00:47:03.559
have an ailment in your body and if you're working
00:47:03.559 --> 00:47:05.800
with the right person, they can use muscle testing
00:47:05.800 --> 00:47:08.630
and they can find out where that. where that's
00:47:08.630 --> 00:47:11.510
coming from. And once you experience it a couple
00:47:11.510 --> 00:47:14.309
times and it's undeniable, then you'll go, okay,
00:47:14.349 --> 00:47:16.070
well, maybe there's maybe there's something to
00:47:16.070 --> 00:47:19.230
this. And but I can I can attest to it. It's
00:47:19.230 --> 00:47:21.690
100 % of the time, if I truly want to know the
00:47:21.690 --> 00:47:23.909
answer to something, and I'm willing and receptive
00:47:23.909 --> 00:47:27.190
and open to it, if I simply stand up and do that,
00:47:27.449 --> 00:47:29.750
do that muscle testing, it's it's interesting.
00:47:30.110 --> 00:47:32.010
And then I have to have a willingness to move
00:47:32.010 --> 00:47:34.230
forward with it, right, then it's it's it's all
00:47:34.230 --> 00:47:36.449
up to me to do something with that information.
00:47:38.730 --> 00:47:40.630
I am loving this. We have two more questions.
00:47:40.809 --> 00:47:43.909
We have, thank you, Katja. We have Marianne and
00:47:43.909 --> 00:47:46.110
then we'll go back to Jean -Paul. Marianne, take
00:47:46.110 --> 00:47:56.190
the mic. Hi, Dylan. Nice to hear you here. Thank
00:47:56.190 --> 00:47:59.829
you. I'm not a worker in this field. I'm just
00:47:59.829 --> 00:48:04.280
an artist who loves to work with. feelings and
00:48:04.280 --> 00:48:08.820
emotions. And that's also my question. And I
00:48:08.820 --> 00:48:10.739
love it that you have been in the Sweat Lodge.
00:48:11.239 --> 00:48:13.619
I've been several times in the Sweat Lodge and
00:48:13.619 --> 00:48:19.179
it's very helpful, very, very helpful. What I
00:48:19.179 --> 00:48:22.420
like the most from the Sweat Lodge is that you
00:48:22.420 --> 00:48:30.760
can help each other so much in the energy. Keeping
00:48:30.760 --> 00:48:36.239
to sit up, but I want I wanted to know How you
00:48:36.239 --> 00:48:41.320
make the difference between? feelings and emotions
00:48:41.320 --> 00:48:47.760
You know, I think that um You know, those things
00:48:47.760 --> 00:48:52.480
are so closely related, right? And and you know,
00:48:52.480 --> 00:48:55.789
I guess to me The feeling is the manifestation
00:48:55.789 --> 00:49:00.510
of what that emotion is. And the exploration
00:49:00.510 --> 00:49:05.230
of what that actually means is important. So
00:49:05.230 --> 00:49:10.869
meaning, if I'm feeling angry about something,
00:49:11.030 --> 00:49:16.849
maybe it's because I'm scared. And so trying
00:49:16.849 --> 00:49:19.050
to, and this, I guess, leads me to something
00:49:19.050 --> 00:49:23.119
that's really important to me, that idea of the
00:49:23.119 --> 00:49:26.619
difference between reaction and response. And
00:49:26.619 --> 00:49:31.119
that idea that as it relates to even my own,
00:49:31.119 --> 00:49:33.840
I guess, understanding of who I am and what I'm
00:49:33.840 --> 00:49:37.099
going through, that especially as it relates
00:49:37.099 --> 00:49:42.039
to the world outside me. So that idea of if I
00:49:42.039 --> 00:49:47.320
react instantly to that anger, then 10 times
00:49:47.320 --> 00:49:49.760
out of 10, I'm going to make a bad decision.
00:49:50.519 --> 00:49:54.989
But if I take a breath, and take a moment and
00:49:54.989 --> 00:49:59.389
give myself an opportunity to respond. So whether
00:49:59.389 --> 00:50:01.889
that's an internal response, that then helps
00:50:01.889 --> 00:50:05.670
me get to the emotion and what's underlying from
00:50:05.670 --> 00:50:09.849
that feeling. And so that's something I take
00:50:09.849 --> 00:50:13.230
to me and still it's a practice. I gotta say,
00:50:13.570 --> 00:50:15.849
I'd like to really underscore everything I'm
00:50:15.849 --> 00:50:19.449
saying with, I'm by no means perfect or even
00:50:19.449 --> 00:50:22.559
close to it at any of this. it. But I love to
00:50:22.559 --> 00:50:24.579
talk about this stuff, because it helps me hold
00:50:24.579 --> 00:50:28.880
myself accountable. And there's this beauty,
00:50:28.880 --> 00:50:33.260
once we learn to, to respond, instead of react.
00:50:33.780 --> 00:50:37.480
And I heard this once, and I think about this
00:50:37.480 --> 00:50:40.420
all the time, that, and I think everyone can
00:50:40.420 --> 00:50:43.500
relate to this. Practice this the next time you're
00:50:43.500 --> 00:50:46.159
triggered in a situation, or at least be aware
00:50:46.159 --> 00:50:48.360
of it, and it'll help lead you to a practice
00:50:48.360 --> 00:50:52.719
of When we react to something, so the first thing
00:50:52.719 --> 00:50:55.559
we say, right? That instantaneous thing that
00:50:55.559 --> 00:50:58.980
we say that snap back is never the right thing
00:50:58.980 --> 00:51:01.000
to say. But you know, it's interesting is the
00:51:01.000 --> 00:51:05.500
second thing that we say is exactly how we really
00:51:05.500 --> 00:51:09.340
feel and and is a response. And so the trick
00:51:09.340 --> 00:51:12.789
is that's why I say it. Take a breath. The trick
00:51:12.789 --> 00:51:15.650
is it in light of and i'm saying in that in the
00:51:15.650 --> 00:51:18.369
crunch time, you know And in that last moment
00:51:18.369 --> 00:51:21.090
when someone says something and where we haven't
00:51:21.090 --> 00:51:23.710
we're not quite at an argument yet But but someone
00:51:23.710 --> 00:51:26.909
says something that really digs in The importance
00:51:26.909 --> 00:51:30.829
is if I take a breath and allow myself that that
00:51:30.829 --> 00:51:35.150
that moment to respond Um, then who I really
00:51:35.150 --> 00:51:37.889
am and the true emotion behind what I really
00:51:37.889 --> 00:51:40.969
want to communicate is going to be felt um, not
00:51:41.150 --> 00:51:44.269
you know, not the feeling side of it, not that
00:51:44.269 --> 00:51:48.070
raw reaction side of it. And so it's something
00:51:48.070 --> 00:51:51.949
that I really try to remind myself regularly
00:51:51.949 --> 00:51:54.750
because there's this beauty that can be found.
00:51:55.010 --> 00:51:56.829
And you know what, you can save yourself so much
00:51:56.829 --> 00:52:00.789
time and grief if you learn to respond to everything
00:52:00.789 --> 00:52:07.369
in your life instead of react. Marianne, that
00:52:07.369 --> 00:52:10.510
was a great question. What a response. Wow. Did
00:52:10.510 --> 00:52:13.789
you have... Marianne, before we go to Jean -Paul,
00:52:13.849 --> 00:52:19.550
did you want to respond? Yeah, I love the response.
00:52:20.329 --> 00:52:24.989
I think we can sometimes mix up the words emotion
00:52:24.989 --> 00:52:30.269
and feelings, because emotions are very... Well,
00:52:30.349 --> 00:52:36.389
emotions come from the mind. from the ideas that
00:52:36.389 --> 00:52:42.989
we have from our earlier experiences. So, well,
00:52:43.170 --> 00:52:48.590
I was looking where is your field of that? Personally,
00:52:48.769 --> 00:52:54.849
I would bind feelings also to the energy between
00:52:54.849 --> 00:52:57.889
the people. But that's not the topic, I think.
00:52:58.489 --> 00:53:04.849
Yeah, absolutely. I agree. Absolutely. Oh, my
00:53:04.849 --> 00:53:07.269
gosh. And Dylan, I got to be honest with you.
00:53:07.269 --> 00:53:09.929
I don't think I would have had this. I know I
00:53:09.929 --> 00:53:12.610
wouldn't have. I would not have been able to
00:53:12.610 --> 00:53:16.449
carry this interview if it wasn't for Katya,
00:53:16.510 --> 00:53:18.829
Shanna Fox, Jean Paul is next, and Mary Ann.
00:53:19.150 --> 00:53:22.070
And it's crazy because it's not like they always
00:53:22.070 --> 00:53:24.989
come into the room. So as I said in the beginning,
00:53:25.050 --> 00:53:27.929
this is incredible. Jean Paul, we'll have you
00:53:27.929 --> 00:53:31.449
ask the last question. And take it away, please.
00:53:31.530 --> 00:53:38.920
And thank you. Well, I really appreciate everything
00:53:38.920 --> 00:53:41.619
you've been sharing Dylan. We definitely have
00:53:41.619 --> 00:53:45.039
similar pathways on how we experience things
00:53:45.039 --> 00:53:48.039
and how we go through that. I wanted to comment
00:53:48.039 --> 00:53:51.000
on and have your thoughts on that. You mentioned
00:53:51.000 --> 00:53:56.179
earlier on how you use muscles testing and one
00:53:56.179 --> 00:53:58.900
of the things that's very important in that is
00:53:58.900 --> 00:54:03.139
do I even want to know that answer? And I think
00:54:03.139 --> 00:54:07.590
that's a very critical piece there because like
00:54:07.590 --> 00:54:12.489
I I'm as a practitioner as a coach I use the
00:54:12.489 --> 00:54:15.510
mind body relationship, but I go mine first That's
00:54:15.510 --> 00:54:17.889
my approach towards it, but we recognize it's
00:54:17.889 --> 00:54:19.710
in contrast and all of that but there's a way
00:54:19.710 --> 00:54:23.230
to go from the mind down there and Every times
00:54:23.230 --> 00:54:26.389
my client tells me I don't know When I'm asking
00:54:26.389 --> 00:54:28.829
them a question, it's not that they don't know
00:54:28.829 --> 00:54:31.309
the answer is right there. They don't want to
00:54:31.309 --> 00:54:35.550
see it and Don't know if that's the case in your
00:54:35.550 --> 00:54:37.730
observation and I'd be curious about that but
00:54:37.730 --> 00:54:40.989
almost every single time with my clients is that
00:54:40.989 --> 00:54:45.150
There's a self -preserving or self -protection.
00:54:45.150 --> 00:54:49.010
That is why they say they don't want to see it
00:54:49.010 --> 00:54:52.230
Yeah, you know and I think for me it might be
00:54:52.230 --> 00:54:56.550
I totally agree first of all But maybe well for
00:54:56.550 --> 00:54:59.570
me, maybe it's not that I don't want to see it
00:54:59.610 --> 00:55:02.809
What I think I'm really starting to understand
00:55:02.809 --> 00:55:07.989
from all of my work is that I'm not ready to
00:55:07.989 --> 00:55:15.349
see it. I'm not ready to work through. There's
00:55:15.349 --> 00:55:19.309
this key difference between awareness and integration.
00:55:19.550 --> 00:55:23.030
Right. So I can, if I become aware of something,
00:55:23.070 --> 00:55:25.869
but I'm not ready to integrate it, I'm not ready
00:55:25.869 --> 00:55:29.849
to actually do something about it. Um, then it's
00:55:29.849 --> 00:55:33.369
not that it's not valuable, but, um, that depending
00:55:33.369 --> 00:55:35.489
on what the situation is and what it is that
00:55:35.489 --> 00:55:38.389
I'm presented with, it could, you know, I could,
00:55:38.429 --> 00:55:41.429
it could bring up thoughts of fear, um, anxiety.
00:55:41.550 --> 00:55:45.889
And so You know, in my earlier example, you know,
00:55:45.889 --> 00:55:49.530
I think it was somewhat of just a trite. I don't
00:55:49.530 --> 00:55:52.230
think I'm ready to do that yet. Or maybe I don't
00:55:52.230 --> 00:55:53.690
want to know the answer. Maybe I want to hold
00:55:53.690 --> 00:55:56.769
myself hostage, right, to some extent to self
00:55:56.769 --> 00:55:59.630
sabotaging side. But I think I'm really coming
00:55:59.630 --> 00:56:03.570
to understand more that it's and I've learned
00:56:03.570 --> 00:56:07.590
some of this through plant medicine is that I
00:56:07.590 --> 00:56:11.070
can know something. You know i can know something
00:56:11.070 --> 00:56:15.150
in my head but if i don't truly understand it
00:56:15.150 --> 00:56:17.449
then i don't really know what to do with that
00:56:17.449 --> 00:56:19.989
information and they can and they can drive me
00:56:19.989 --> 00:56:22.389
in a different direction that maybe and so maybe
00:56:22.389 --> 00:56:25.960
that's. That's what that's about, right? And
00:56:25.960 --> 00:56:27.860
maybe that's exactly what you're saying, where
00:56:27.860 --> 00:56:31.460
it's like, I'm not ready for it. I will be. And
00:56:31.460 --> 00:56:33.760
at the point, and I'm giving myself a lot of
00:56:33.760 --> 00:56:36.579
grace these days. It's interesting. I used to
00:56:36.579 --> 00:56:38.599
think I've got to do, do, do. I've got to get
00:56:38.599 --> 00:56:42.460
everything done. And what I've learned in the
00:56:42.460 --> 00:56:45.980
last 10 years is we're never done. And it's more
00:56:45.980 --> 00:56:48.460
important that rather looking for that kind of
00:56:48.460 --> 00:56:51.920
that... That in chapter right looking for that
00:56:51.920 --> 00:56:55.420
goal that that i'm just really enjoying every
00:56:55.420 --> 00:56:59.159
piece of Of you know of the turmoil that I go
00:56:59.159 --> 00:57:02.199
through of the successes that I have Um, and
00:57:02.199 --> 00:57:05.320
so in the in the when i'm ready to realize that
00:57:05.320 --> 00:57:07.159
thing and my wife I know points this out all
00:57:07.159 --> 00:57:08.780
the time. It's like how could you not figure
00:57:08.780 --> 00:57:10.780
that out? I was like, maybe i'm not ready to
00:57:10.780 --> 00:57:13.539
figure it out yet. Um, and maybe I need to be
00:57:13.539 --> 00:57:17.019
okay with with not you know with just simply
00:57:17.340 --> 00:57:20.400
Be okay with not understanding it at this point
00:57:20.400 --> 00:57:29.500
and not being confused. That's an interesting
00:57:29.500 --> 00:57:32.619
way to see it. I know that in my world, awareness
00:57:32.619 --> 00:57:37.019
is key. And even being aware of something that
00:57:37.019 --> 00:57:40.199
you cannot do anything about it, just that awareness
00:57:40.199 --> 00:57:43.159
and accepting. For me, that's the difference.
00:57:43.300 --> 00:57:47.119
It's accepting that... I'm not ready to do anything
00:57:47.119 --> 00:57:50.019
about it, but at least I know it's there. I can.
00:57:50.239 --> 00:57:52.480
Oh, a hundred percent. Yeah. Which is very different
00:57:52.480 --> 00:57:56.420
from I'm hiding from it and it's, it's doing
00:57:56.420 --> 00:57:58.940
things in my life without me having any control
00:57:58.940 --> 00:58:01.300
over it. And, and, and that's where a lot of
00:58:01.300 --> 00:58:04.420
the story of self -sabotage comes in when you
00:58:04.420 --> 00:58:06.599
become clear that yeah, well, I am protecting
00:58:06.599 --> 00:58:08.599
myself. I got this one. I've been solved it yet.
00:58:08.619 --> 00:58:10.920
I know I'm working on it or I'm not working on
00:58:10.920 --> 00:58:14.460
it. And so when things blow up because of that,
00:58:14.480 --> 00:58:17.639
I don't blame myself for it. I don't want to
00:58:17.639 --> 00:58:19.920
beat myself. I know it's there. I've not done
00:58:19.920 --> 00:58:22.960
the work yet. So that's why, you know, it's not
00:58:22.960 --> 00:58:24.980
solved. It's still there, but at least I'm aware
00:58:24.980 --> 00:58:27.920
of it. It's not it. It removes that little bit
00:58:27.920 --> 00:58:32.460
of mystery or question of why am I doing this
00:58:32.460 --> 00:58:35.340
or why is this happening? And so that's what
00:58:35.340 --> 00:58:38.159
for me that I don't know. I'd rather know it
00:58:38.159 --> 00:58:39.619
and accept the fact that I'm not going to do
00:58:39.619 --> 00:58:42.510
anything about it, but it is I know it. But that's
00:58:42.510 --> 00:58:46.030
100 % on that instead of yeah, I don't know it.
00:58:46.150 --> 00:58:48.590
It's it's it's it's something's happening to
00:58:48.590 --> 00:58:52.289
me. I don't know where you know Yeah, and that's
00:58:52.289 --> 00:58:54.929
where you know for me that the idea of I don't
00:58:54.929 --> 00:58:57.329
know Yeah, and absolutely there is a notion of
00:58:57.329 --> 00:59:01.050
being ready to tackle it and integrated. I agree
00:59:01.050 --> 00:59:04.070
That's where you go and do the healing work go
00:59:04.070 --> 00:59:07.070
the into integration work Whatever modality that
00:59:07.070 --> 00:59:09.909
is multiline with you on that for me that first
00:59:09.909 --> 00:59:12.949
awareness When you say, I don't know, there's
00:59:12.949 --> 00:59:15.309
a part that I don't really want to see it right
00:59:15.309 --> 00:59:20.730
now. And I don't want to see it for a purpose.
00:59:21.889 --> 00:59:24.949
And I'd like to find out what that purpose is,
00:59:25.190 --> 00:59:27.650
because at least now I'm aware that I have that
00:59:27.650 --> 00:59:32.590
intention that's running my life. Almost every
00:59:32.590 --> 00:59:34.889
self -saboteur story that I've heard of people
00:59:34.889 --> 00:59:37.329
bringing it up to me is just they don't recognize
00:59:37.329 --> 00:59:39.210
that unconscious intent because the moment you
00:59:39.210 --> 00:59:41.750
see where that unconscious intent is, there is
00:59:41.750 --> 00:59:45.869
no self -saboteur. You acted out on that unconscious
00:59:45.869 --> 00:59:48.650
intent and it was perfect for that. Even if you
00:59:48.650 --> 00:59:51.630
blow up and scream and yell at people, which
00:59:51.630 --> 00:59:54.530
is obviously for your conscious goal not productive,
00:59:55.250 --> 00:59:58.340
for your unconscious goal, That unconscious intent
00:59:58.340 --> 01:00:00.820
in the moment. That was the perfect response
01:00:00.820 --> 01:00:03.840
to that And yeah, well, I love that you said
01:00:03.840 --> 01:00:07.119
that Yeah, I'd love that you said that about
01:00:07.119 --> 01:00:09.539
awareness because it's I I say this all the time
01:00:09.539 --> 01:00:12.139
Awareness to me out of all the things I talk
01:00:12.139 --> 01:00:15.840
about is the most important um, I call it my
01:00:15.840 --> 01:00:19.719
medicine, um, because When I was when I had my
01:00:19.719 --> 01:00:22.860
first big Breakthrough awakening whatever you
01:00:22.860 --> 01:00:25.420
want to call it when I was around 40 years old
01:00:25.420 --> 01:00:32.519
Now it was scary as hell but I became aware of
01:00:32.519 --> 01:00:37.920
things in my early childhood that had gone like
01:00:37.920 --> 01:00:40.960
Were completely hidden to me until that point
01:00:40.960 --> 01:00:43.880
the the fear part of it The scary part was like
01:00:43.880 --> 01:00:46.679
that I that they were there and I wasn't aware
01:00:46.679 --> 01:00:49.389
of them And that's why I'd love that because
01:00:49.389 --> 01:00:52.010
it's like once I did become aware, I didn't necessarily
01:00:52.010 --> 01:00:54.690
know what to do, but you're 100 % right. Once
01:00:54.690 --> 01:00:57.550
I was aware, I couldn't help but do something
01:00:57.550 --> 01:01:00.030
about it, right? I mean, I couldn't help but
01:01:00.030 --> 01:01:04.869
get on some slide, some path, some road to making
01:01:04.869 --> 01:01:08.429
a change in my life because you're right, before
01:01:08.429 --> 01:01:11.510
you're aware of it, how can you be expected to
01:01:11.510 --> 01:01:13.670
make a change, right? You're going to live from
01:01:13.670 --> 01:01:17.550
a place of reaction only. Um, and so I 100 agree
01:01:17.550 --> 01:01:21.070
awareness to me is the best medicine on the planet
01:01:21.070 --> 01:01:28.070
Well, that's the starting point for any personal
01:01:28.070 --> 01:01:32.150
development journey at any scale Absolutely,
01:01:32.230 --> 01:01:35.289
it's an end. It's a beautiful never -ending spiral.
01:01:35.449 --> 01:01:40.960
Yep. I love that. Yep it is Wow, thank you, Dylan.
01:01:41.099 --> 01:01:43.900
You've given us an hour of your time. I want
01:01:43.900 --> 01:01:46.539
to thank you. I want to, I will be introducing
01:01:46.539 --> 01:01:48.659
you and just sending you some more information
01:01:48.659 --> 01:01:52.079
of Katya, Shadow Fox, Jean Paul, and Marianne.
01:01:52.219 --> 01:01:54.019
You guys are going to be listed in the show notes,
01:01:54.019 --> 01:01:56.860
so I'm going to make sure I grab your information
01:01:56.860 --> 01:02:00.360
so you can see that. And this has been great.
01:02:00.420 --> 01:02:04.039
Is there anything that wasn't asked of you that
01:02:04.039 --> 01:02:06.079
you would like to share before we say goodbye?
01:02:06.900 --> 01:02:09.420
I don't think so. I know this is a great conversation.
01:02:09.559 --> 01:02:11.980
I really appreciate all the insight from everyone.
01:02:12.019 --> 01:02:15.940
It's beautiful. Thank you so much. I know. I
01:02:15.940 --> 01:02:18.860
can't, I can't thank the team here on chatter
01:02:18.860 --> 01:02:21.619
social for being in the room and coming in. It's,
01:02:21.619 --> 01:02:23.860
it's just, what's the right word? Someone give
01:02:23.860 --> 01:02:30.219
me the right word. I want to say Sarah. Synchronous.
01:02:34.599 --> 01:02:36.780
That's it. Oh my gosh. Okay. I'm going to end
01:02:36.780 --> 01:02:38.679
the stream. Thank you everyone for watching.
01:02:39.260 --> 01:02:42.840
I have enjoyed this and Dylan just amazing. We'll
01:02:42.840 --> 01:02:45.400
get this produced in about a week and a half.
01:02:45.519 --> 01:02:48.179
So very excited and I'm going to end the stream
01:02:48.179 --> 01:02:50.559
right now. So thank you all for joining us.