Breaking the Silence: Brothers' Unheard Pain Revealed

WEBVTT

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But I bet you we will be thanking her because

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we'll have this opportunity to meet. Hi, everyone.

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So I've just had two minutes with Keeper. That's

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all I know. I explained to him that we're going

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to do a meet and greet live. No prep needed.

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And he's pretty brave, bold, brilliant, bald,

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and good looking. So we've got the five B's today.

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I'm really excited. So as always, I have to ask.

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my guests to introduce themselves, because there's

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no prep needed. So I didn't look you up. The

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only thing I did was say, wow, Keeper's got a

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really cool name. And I look forward to hearing

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the history of it. So Keeper, take it away. Share

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who you are. Talk about being brave. You're bringing

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on someone who you have absolutely no background

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knowledge of. You have no idea what I'm going

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to say. That is being brave, especially for your

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audience. But no prep needed. I love the name.

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I just absolutely love it. So my name is Keeper.

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I am, well, Keeper Katrin Whitney. I am the author

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of the book, Helplessness. The emotional health

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challenges brothers experience once we learn

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our sisters have been sexually abused by our

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parents. It is the first book of its kind. So

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for your audience, let's just stop right here

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and say, my topic is a very triggering topic

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for many people. And we want everyone to be safe,

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emotionally, mentally, physically. Depending

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on where this conversation goes, because I have

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absolutely no idea, we want you to back away

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and come back and view it again on YouTube or

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whatever other platforms she may have this on.

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But this is a very challenging topic for everyone.

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So as she said, it's no prep needed. So there

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is your prep. But by all means, please, please,

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please protect yourself. So as I said, I am the

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author. I am, I not only explore what happens

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to brothers, I actually answer the question based

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on my family's experience. Brothers. Be left

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out of probably be one of the most important

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conversations of their life when they learn about

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it. So Let's just go for one second keeper. Hold

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on one second. Can you? Replug in your microphone.

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I this conversation has to be had but I get I'm

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getting a little crinkly noise and I want to

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make sure That so so your microphone is okay

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and your everything your audio Yeah, everything

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sounds great here. Okay So So How do you want

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to how do you how do you want me to go into this?

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Okay, so let's let's okay. This is a conversation

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You weren't ready for either so No, it's fine.

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So I'm a guardian ad litem. I was a score mentor.

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I volunteered for business as a business mentor

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for years. I just switched to become a guardian

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ad litem and went through the training. So I

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think the conversation is absolutely so important.

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But selfishly, I want to understand it because

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in my training to be a guardian ad litem, we

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actually never talked about the siblings and

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what that looks like. So please continue. And

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if someone is uncomfortable, they can easily

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move on. Right, so can you tell me what guardian

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at light of this that yes, so are you in the

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United States? Yes, I am. Okay, so I'm in Where

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are you Los Angeles? Oh wow, I'm on the other

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side. So I am in Daytona Beach, Florida And yeah

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at our county that we have our guardian ad litems

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are volunteers So we are my goal is always to

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protect the children when a child is removed

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from the home, and they have been due to usually

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abuse, sexual abuse, whatever that looks like,

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that they're removed from the home, I'm the guardian

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I light up can go in, we can ask questions, supervise,

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make sure that the foster parents are doing everything,

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see what you know, but my goal is really the

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children. But I've never thought, actually. And

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so I've listened to a lot of interviews and shows

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and tried to make sure that when I'm in court,

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and I'm hearing stories, I'm like this. Like

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poker face so that so I bet all the stories I've

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listened to there were a few that talk about

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siblings But not many and I think it's really

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important. So please please please take it away

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Okay, so let me just also say I am a speaker

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for rain, which is the rape abuse incest national

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network the largest Network of its kind. They're

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actually connected with the government monitoring

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and keeping statistics up. So let me just go

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ahead and jump into this. In 1971, my family,

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we were very poor. I grew up in South Central

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LA. I went to 11 grade schools before I graduated

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high school. I lived in 21 different places before

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I moved out. I was homeless three times. I come

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from a family of four boys, four girls, my mother

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and stepfather. And so in 1971, it was once again,

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one of those situations where we could not afford

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to put food on the table. So my mother and my

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uncle were amazing singers decided to form a

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group. And as good as they were, they could not

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make enough money. This is around the time Michael

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Jackson and Jackson five were out doing their

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thing. You got ABC, Who's Love You, I want your

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back. I mean, they are everywhere. They are killing

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it. Obviously, me and my brothers, I'm the second

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oldest of the eight, my sisters are singing around

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the house. And one day my mother looks at us

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and says, would you kids like to sing? Because

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as singers in a family, we could make more money.

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Yeah, of course. It's our chance to be like Michael

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Jackson and Jackson 5. So next thing you know,

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we are singing it after our nightclubs all over

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Los Angeles. It kept us off the streets, so we

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sang, we rehearsed, we did our schoolwork, we

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went to sleep, and it was repeat, over and over

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and over again. That was our life. One Saturday

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morning, we are singing, we are rehearsing for

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the show that night, and the phone rings. My

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mother walks over to the phone and says, hello?

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Who? Hold on a second. She turns to us eight

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kids and says, Michael Jackson's on the phone.

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Yeah, that Michael Jackson soon to be king of

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pop. She says, okay, hold on a second. And she

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looks at my brother directly under me, child

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number four, and says, he wants to talk to you.

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So my brother gets on the telephone. Now, keep

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in mind, we can't even pay an $80 or $90 a month

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rent. And here is Michael Jackson, the hottest

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singer on the planet, calling our house. My brother

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says, hello? All excited. Uh -huh. OK. Hangs

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up the phone. It screams, Michael Jackson said

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he's heard of us. Says he heard I sing and dance

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just like him. Keep going. We will get there

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someday. Jump cut six years later to 1977. We

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are everywhere. Billboard magazine, not once,

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not twice, but three times that year in their

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top 100. Two singles and an album. We're doing

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TV shows, we're doing concerts. Also in 1977

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is the year Motown completes an exhaustive three

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-year search to replace Michael Jackson and Jackson

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5, who they had lost to Epic Records three years

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earlier. You guessed it, it was us, my family.

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So as you keep going, we will get there someday.

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We were about to go from abject poverty to skies

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the limit. They had created the TV show. I have

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the pilot episode in my office They had created

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everything. They're like you guys can do everything.

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We got boys groups. We've got girls groups We

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got all of you sing Lee all of you dance. That's

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so much more than what they did You guys just

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in fact, there's too much talent in this one

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family. This is crazy So The week we are to sign

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the largest new artist contract Motown offered

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any new artist family We're going to sign this

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contract on Thursday or Friday the previous Saturday

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My sister The third oldest directly underneath

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me screams upstairs boys come down their family

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meeting This is it. It's about to happen I'd

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like to say the bus was outside The door was

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open. The engine was running. The seats were

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warm. All we had to do was step onto the bus.

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We were gone. Our life was about to change forever.

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Fame, fortune, you name it, right there. No more

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going into the streets looking for bottles to

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turn in to get some cash to buy a pound of ground

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beef or a bag of rice. No more going days without

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eating. No more living amongst rats and roaches

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who were our playmates for all intents and purposes.

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Are you kidding me? All that was about to end.

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So we all come running downstairs. I'm the last

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of the eight kids to come into the living room.

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And as I enter the living room, it's quiet. My

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three youngest sisters, the three youngest of

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us eight, and the two youngest are twins. are

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sitting on the couch huddled in the corner and

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they're not making us sound. What's going on?

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Now anyone who knows my three sisters or any

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of us knows we're bubbly, we're effervescent,

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we are loud, we're energetic, we are just, we

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wanna have fun. That was us, all of us. But there

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are my three sisters, the youngest sitting on

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the couch not saying a word. Huh. My two youngest

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brothers are also sitting on the couch at the

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opposite end. But they're like me, they're not

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saying a word, but they're, what is going on?

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You guys realize what's about to happen? All

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this is about to end. We are about to be famous.

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So they're just as confused as I am. My oldest

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brother, My mother had eight kids. She had all

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eight of us by the time she was 24. She had all

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eight of us in eight and a half years. I like

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to tell her you were on your back the entire

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time. Her response was, baby, I never had a headache,

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you think? Of course you never had a headache.

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But we're with our stepdad and my oldest brother

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is standing at the far end of the couch. directly

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behind my three youngest sisters who are sitting

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there. And I locked eyes on him. What's going

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on? Because how can you be quiet when you know

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what's about to happen? As I entered the room

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though, my oldest sister, number three, child

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number three, is pacing back and forth across

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the archway, entering into the living room. And

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she is... which wasn't really all that odd considering

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she and my mom could be at loggerheads all the

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time. I'm thinking, okay, she's just doing what

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she does. All right, so we're waiting for my

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mother and my stepfather to come into the living

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room. My stepfather comes in and he sits in this

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brown room in the middle of the living room.

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Ron recliner that clashes against this violently

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green carpet It doesn't make any sense when you're

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poor you take what you can get But when he sits

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down he immediately does this What the hell I

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Look at my older brother and we have no idea

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what's going on now keep in mind earlier that

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day That morning my sister were going in and

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out of And they were like agitated these ugly

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and you could hear the anger the agitation But

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you really couldn't make it out what they were

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saying. I make out what they were saying But

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they were having heated conversation They leave

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the bedroom a couple would go into the going

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to a bathroom and they slammed the door and one

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time my mother is in there talking and you can

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just hear them you can just hear them The just

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the agitation, but i'm just thinking it's just

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the girls and mom doing what they do But my stepfather

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who's six foot six 250 pounds Wears a huge afro

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wig which puts his height over seven feet tall

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sits down and doesn't see He just puts his face

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in his hands and bends over My mother who's just

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bubbly as her eight kids effervescent proud loud

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you name it that is her Comes into the living

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room behind him, but her face is She's mad she

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does not say a word to her children I Am so confused

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because in five days She walks to the center

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of the living room and turns around and faces

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her eight children. Now, there are earthquakes

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here in California all the time. We just had

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one four or five days ago. Had one on Tuesday.

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And earthquakes of that time, material earthquakes,

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break buildings, freeways crack, and they fall,

00:15:30.360 --> 00:15:34.220
and houses rock back and forth, trees are uprooted.

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Those can be put back together. Little tape,

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little rebar, little wood, little hammer and

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nails, little concrete, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop,

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pop, back together, get back on the road, walk

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back in your house. But my brothers and I are

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about to suffer three emotional earthquakes.

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in a 10 -minute span. Three earthquakes no brother

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could ever prepare for. We are about to hear

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the words no brother ever expects to hear. My

00:16:15.080 --> 00:16:18.740
mother stands and looks at her children with

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very little acknowledgement, but she's mad. She

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then looks at my oldest sister who's still pacing

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back and forth across the archway and is looking

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daggers at her Apparently what was going on that

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morning was my sisters had forced my mother into

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the position We are telling the boys today What

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has been going on? for years My mother looks

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at the seven of us who are sitting and my older

00:17:01.820 --> 00:17:06.619
brother who's standing and says Earthquake number

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one Your stepfather has been molesting your sisters

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for years What What did you say No, not us. We

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are viewed as a perfect family in our neighborhood.

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Everyone wants to be in our family. Everyone

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we know wants to emulate us. What are you saying?

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I am dropping. I am falling into a very dark

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abyss, the void. There is no slowing down the

00:17:46.369 --> 00:17:49.609
descent. In fact, it is speeding up. And I'm

00:17:49.609 --> 00:17:57.539
hearing things like liquor store. Park This system

00:17:57.539 --> 00:18:03.660
that system like no PTSD it's settling on me

00:18:03.660 --> 00:18:09.799
with unabashed abandon I'm really slow on the

00:18:09.799 --> 00:18:12.359
uptake because I can't put together what is happening.

00:18:12.420 --> 00:18:15.519
This is just doesn't comprehend. It doesn't make

00:18:15.519 --> 00:18:21.019
any sense not us And then she says earthquake

00:18:21.019 --> 00:18:25.440
or drops earthquake Number two, I mean the house

00:18:25.440 --> 00:18:29.319
is rocky. There's a crack going through the middle

00:18:29.319 --> 00:18:35.380
of the living room. And then she says, I have

00:18:35.380 --> 00:18:47.160
known all along. No, no. You've known what all

00:18:47.160 --> 00:18:54.980
along? I have known all along. The year Michael

00:18:54.980 --> 00:18:58.519
Jackson called our house tonight, 1871, I come

00:18:58.519 --> 00:19:02.720
to learn waiter was the year all this started.

00:19:03.460 --> 00:19:06.460
My three youngest sisters, the two youngest were

00:19:06.460 --> 00:19:10.400
five years old. The next one above them was six

00:19:10.400 --> 00:19:15.359
and the one pacing the entryway was 10 or 11.

00:19:16.319 --> 00:19:18.640
This has been going on for years and me and my

00:19:18.640 --> 00:19:27.740
brothers have no. None. But it went a long way

00:19:27.740 --> 00:19:32.819
to explain some things for us. Particularly recently,

00:19:33.099 --> 00:19:35.000
we would have conversations with our sisters

00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:36.799
because we're all a little older and we may say

00:19:36.799 --> 00:19:39.960
something, and their response just did not match

00:19:39.960 --> 00:19:45.119
up with what we said or what we observed or what

00:19:45.119 --> 00:19:47.539
we may have commented on or what we may have

00:19:47.539 --> 00:19:51.059
seen on TV or blah, blah, blah. But it went a

00:19:51.059 --> 00:19:55.619
long way to explaining I would learn later, particularly

00:19:55.619 --> 00:19:58.920
my older sister, why her reaction was as strident

00:19:58.920 --> 00:20:03.980
and as hard as it was, as unfeeling towards her

00:20:03.980 --> 00:20:07.099
brothers as it was. Like I said, my brothers

00:20:07.099 --> 00:20:13.880
and I had no idea. Then earthquake number three

00:20:13.880 --> 00:20:18.000
has dropped. Now, the first two are devastating.

00:20:18.599 --> 00:20:22.380
My brothers and I there's no way we could prepare

00:20:22.380 --> 00:20:26.279
for this But my sisters could prepare for the

00:20:26.279 --> 00:20:30.039
conversation obviously and unfortunately Because

00:20:30.039 --> 00:20:37.579
they had been experiencing it In many ways They

00:20:37.579 --> 00:20:42.079
had come to grips with what was going on for

00:20:42.079 --> 00:20:48.450
better or for worse They had viewed It as this

00:20:48.450 --> 00:20:51.750
is the way it's going to be and it is sad to

00:20:51.750 --> 00:20:56.849
even think about that Or me even saying that

00:20:56.849 --> 00:21:01.829
about my little sister Because I'm a brother

00:21:01.829 --> 00:21:05.029
and in most brothers in situation what kicks

00:21:05.029 --> 00:21:08.049
in is our protective instincts, but we were even

00:21:08.049 --> 00:21:12.910
given the chance To say you're doing we are hit

00:21:12.910 --> 00:21:17.660
with this information And when you are a brother,

00:21:18.380 --> 00:21:23.200
you're paralyzed. Most adults can't handle this.

00:21:23.500 --> 00:21:28.259
If a wife learns that her husband or her partner

00:21:28.259 --> 00:21:31.119
has been doing this to their children, she can

00:21:31.119 --> 00:21:35.579
barely handle it. How are children supposed to

00:21:35.579 --> 00:21:39.680
handle it? I'm around 16 years old at the time,

00:21:40.220 --> 00:21:42.220
but it really made no difference how old I was.

00:21:42.359 --> 00:21:46.079
It was the news. That was all encompassing that

00:21:46.079 --> 00:21:50.099
was devastating So earthquake number three is

00:21:50.099 --> 00:21:55.440
my oldest sister Run around and pointed at her

00:21:55.440 --> 00:21:58.920
four brothers and said you can't talk about it

00:21:58.920 --> 00:22:01.740
It didn't happen to you that only happened to

00:22:01.740 --> 00:22:04.539
us girls. You can't talk about it ever in like

00:22:04.539 --> 00:22:07.359
that Relationships between brothers and sisters

00:22:07.359 --> 00:22:10.259
that were so incredibly tight lay on the living

00:22:10.259 --> 00:22:21.299
room floor broken for So, you're a brother. What

00:22:21.299 --> 00:22:25.099
do you do? When the people you are most close

00:22:25.099 --> 00:22:28.240
to, the people who could go the furthest and

00:22:28.240 --> 00:22:32.180
explain to you what has just happened, just told

00:22:32.180 --> 00:22:36.319
you we want nothing to do with you. We don't

00:22:36.319 --> 00:22:39.740
want to hear from you. Your feelings don't matter.

00:22:40.279 --> 00:22:43.500
Let's just put you on a shelf, tuck you in a

00:22:43.500 --> 00:22:49.890
corner. and close the door. Never talk about

00:22:49.890 --> 00:22:54.849
it. Now, as I said, this was a very challenging

00:22:54.849 --> 00:22:58.369
topic, but understand, helplessness in book one

00:22:58.369 --> 00:23:01.990
of the three book series that I'm writing, hopefulness

00:23:01.990 --> 00:23:04.849
I'm writing now, which is how you go from helplessness

00:23:04.849 --> 00:23:07.609
to hopefulness and happiness is how you get to

00:23:07.609 --> 00:23:11.109
where I met with me and my sisters now, 40 years

00:23:11.109 --> 00:23:16.500
later, because that's how long it took. to get

00:23:16.500 --> 00:23:25.279
back to them. When you're a brother, and you're

00:23:25.279 --> 00:23:27.740
told you can't talk about it, where do you go?

00:23:28.740 --> 00:23:36.539
In 1977, women, and I say this in a very humble

00:23:36.539 --> 00:23:40.299
way, in a very sad way, could still go to a library,

00:23:41.500 --> 00:23:45.519
could go to a bookstore, and find a book or a

00:23:45.519 --> 00:23:50.319
topic, sadly. Because historically, men have

00:23:50.319 --> 00:23:53.299
mistreated women around sexual abuse and abuse

00:23:53.299 --> 00:23:56.740
so much that women were writing about it, and

00:23:56.740 --> 00:23:58.900
you could find works on it. Every now and then

00:23:58.900 --> 00:24:01.880
in 1971, you could find a documentary or TV.

00:24:02.039 --> 00:24:06.000
There'd be a movie of the week or something around

00:24:06.000 --> 00:24:10.200
the topic. It might not hit at the center, but

00:24:10.200 --> 00:24:12.339
any woman could tell you, I know exactly what

00:24:12.339 --> 00:24:15.059
that woman is going through. I know exactly what

00:24:15.059 --> 00:24:17.200
that's about because that's me, that's my sister,

00:24:17.319 --> 00:24:19.000
that's my neighbor, that's my cousin, that's

00:24:19.000 --> 00:24:23.960
my friend at school. But brothers and men, nothing.

00:24:25.480 --> 00:24:30.480
No books, no magazine, no Ellen interviews, no

00:24:30.480 --> 00:24:35.200
Oprah interviews, no documentaries, nothing.

00:24:35.819 --> 00:24:40.880
So where do brothers go? In 1971, there was nowhere

00:24:40.880 --> 00:24:44.279
to go. You could go to a 12 step program for

00:24:44.279 --> 00:24:47.160
just about anything in 1971, but the brothers,

00:24:47.400 --> 00:24:52.839
they did not exist a one step program. And that

00:24:52.839 --> 00:25:01.599
is still the case today in 2024. My book, Helplessness,

00:25:01.599 --> 00:25:06.359
explores what goes on in the minds of brothers,

00:25:06.539 --> 00:25:10.339
the emotional. challenge we go through when we

00:25:10.339 --> 00:25:13.779
are locked out of the most important conversation.

00:25:14.259 --> 00:25:18.019
See, here's part of the challenge for us. We

00:25:18.019 --> 00:25:23.240
are told we can't talk about it, but we are expected

00:25:23.240 --> 00:25:28.680
to answer for our non -participation. It's a

00:25:28.680 --> 00:25:31.480
paradox. These two things cannot exist at the

00:25:31.480 --> 00:25:34.680
same time in the same space, and yet they do.

00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:41.119
because we would hear from our sisters, how could

00:25:41.119 --> 00:25:43.819
you not see my tears? How could you not hear

00:25:43.819 --> 00:25:46.680
me weeping? How could you not know? Well, that's

00:25:46.680 --> 00:25:50.920
the power of it. When you are locked down by

00:25:50.920 --> 00:25:54.119
the predator and the predator's person who's

00:25:54.119 --> 00:25:55.819
empowering them, who happened to be the most

00:25:55.819 --> 00:25:59.079
powerful people in our world, in our universe,

00:25:59.279 --> 00:26:06.049
our parents, where do you go? You couldn't tell

00:26:06.049 --> 00:26:08.589
us because you were told if you told your brothers

00:26:08.589 --> 00:26:11.569
I would hurt you or I would hurt your brothers

00:26:11.569 --> 00:26:15.309
And so my sisters are locked down. So I understood

00:26:15.309 --> 00:26:17.630
what my oldest sister was doing. It took me a

00:26:17.630 --> 00:26:22.549
long time But she was protecting herself She

00:26:22.549 --> 00:26:26.990
was protecting my three youngest sisters and

00:26:26.990 --> 00:26:32.430
as I said, it took me a long time to understand

00:26:32.430 --> 00:26:34.490
but to come to grips with it because even though

00:26:34.490 --> 00:26:36.769
me and my brother didn't know about it we were

00:26:36.769 --> 00:26:39.990
still victims because it was happening in our

00:26:39.990 --> 00:26:43.430
house we just didn't know it that we were being

00:26:43.430 --> 00:26:49.890
victimized so what do you do what do you where

00:26:49.890 --> 00:26:51.769
do you go because you're dealing with so much

00:26:51.769 --> 00:26:55.960
shocking and disbelief and guilt and shame, and

00:26:55.960 --> 00:26:58.200
all these different things, anger and betrayal,

00:26:58.559 --> 00:27:01.220
and so many things were happening in the psychological

00:27:01.220 --> 00:27:04.700
and emotional front for brothers. As I said,

00:27:04.859 --> 00:27:08.440
unfortunately, my sisters were prepared for the

00:27:08.440 --> 00:27:12.319
conversation, not simply because they forced

00:27:12.319 --> 00:27:15.359
it to happen that day, but because they had been

00:27:15.359 --> 00:27:18.859
living it and reliving it and reliving it for

00:27:18.859 --> 00:27:30.190
at least six years. It took years for us to get

00:27:30.190 --> 00:27:35.990
through this because even as things played out,

00:27:37.970 --> 00:27:42.829
some of the molestation continued after. What

00:27:42.829 --> 00:27:45.089
is going on here? Because initially it was just

00:27:45.089 --> 00:27:47.390
my two sisters that we were being told about,

00:27:47.950 --> 00:27:52.069
but we would learn later he got to the twins

00:27:52.069 --> 00:27:56.420
and our mother knew the youngest. So What do

00:27:56.420 --> 00:28:01.380
you do? Where do you go? My book is the first

00:28:01.380 --> 00:28:03.880
book of its kind and I will say this about my

00:28:03.880 --> 00:28:06.119
book and then I'm not gonna you know, there's

00:28:06.119 --> 00:28:10.420
there's a lot To this there's a lot of ugly to

00:28:10.420 --> 00:28:15.180
this book, but we end up coming out on the other

00:28:15.180 --> 00:28:17.420
side it ends up becoming a story of hope and

00:28:17.420 --> 00:28:24.789
triumph and survival and It ends up being one

00:28:24.789 --> 00:28:31.470
of those things that as I like to say, my family's

00:28:31.470 --> 00:28:33.569
story was not going to be on the dung hill of

00:28:33.569 --> 00:28:37.289
so many millions of stories over the history

00:28:37.289 --> 00:28:41.789
of man where men have molested women and children

00:28:41.789 --> 00:28:44.849
and no one's saying anything about it. My story

00:28:44.849 --> 00:28:47.109
is from a brother's perspective because there

00:28:47.109 --> 00:28:52.390
are so many men as brothers who are silent today.

00:28:52.680 --> 00:28:55.240
Because they don't know what to do and quite

00:28:55.240 --> 00:28:58.059
frankly our sisters don't know how to help us

00:28:58.059 --> 00:29:01.279
Our sisters don't know how to create an opening

00:29:01.279 --> 00:29:04.400
for us to have a conversation and obviously we

00:29:04.400 --> 00:29:06.400
don't because we are told not to talk about it

00:29:06.400 --> 00:29:09.480
But I will say this because I am often times

00:29:09.480 --> 00:29:11.660
hit with this, you know keeper your sister's

00:29:11.660 --> 00:29:14.339
right you boys can't talk about it didn't happen

00:29:14.339 --> 00:29:18.819
to you, but it did we are collateral damage and

00:29:21.349 --> 00:29:28.549
It's not until I say this part. Six years before

00:29:28.549 --> 00:29:30.750
my sister's molestation, my older brother and

00:29:30.750 --> 00:29:33.009
I were sexually abused by our babysitter almost

00:29:33.009 --> 00:29:37.930
daily for six months when we were six and seven.

00:29:38.109 --> 00:29:42.470
That's six years before my sister. So I understand

00:29:42.470 --> 00:29:48.210
both sides of the coin. The abuse, sexual abuse

00:29:48.210 --> 00:29:52.009
side of the coin, flip it over. The collateral

00:29:52.009 --> 00:29:55.809
damage I understand both and it's not until I

00:29:55.809 --> 00:30:03.789
say that that women then say oh You do get it

00:30:03.789 --> 00:30:06.990
But I really shouldn't have to say that because

00:30:06.990 --> 00:30:12.569
trauma is trauma and We all take it in differently

00:30:12.569 --> 00:30:14.390
and particularly what it involves our parents

00:30:14.390 --> 00:30:17.299
as in as children We have different relationships

00:30:17.299 --> 00:30:19.279
with each of our parents as we do with each of

00:30:19.279 --> 00:30:22.420
our siblings. And so the impact is going to be

00:30:22.420 --> 00:30:26.319
unique to you. And what it did for me, I shut

00:30:26.319 --> 00:30:29.460
down and let me, let me just because there are

00:30:29.460 --> 00:30:31.460
so many would have, could have, should have moments

00:30:31.460 --> 00:30:35.819
that I should have done something. But those

00:30:35.819 --> 00:30:39.119
words you can't talk about it. Don't do anything.

00:30:39.240 --> 00:30:41.980
Lock me down for nine years before I actually

00:30:41.980 --> 00:30:50.309
did something to what I did. was what most people,

00:30:50.470 --> 00:30:56.490
and particularly men, when this type of thing

00:30:56.490 --> 00:31:00.589
becomes too great for you to deal with, you lash

00:31:00.589 --> 00:31:08.309
out. So nine years after, I gave my stepfather

00:31:08.309 --> 00:31:13.130
24 hours to live because I was gonna kill him.

00:31:14.170 --> 00:31:17.509
I wanted closure for my sisters, not realizing

00:31:17.509 --> 00:31:20.170
that ultimately that would not have been closure

00:31:20.170 --> 00:31:22.109
for them if I killed them, it would have been

00:31:22.109 --> 00:31:26.769
worse. But I'm an angry brother and I'm trying

00:31:26.769 --> 00:31:29.250
to get back to my sisters and I'm trying to be

00:31:29.250 --> 00:31:31.369
the brother that they have always wanted and

00:31:31.369 --> 00:31:36.059
I'm trying to find my own self worth. And I'm

00:31:36.059 --> 00:31:38.599
just drowning in all this three months before

00:31:38.599 --> 00:31:41.259
my marriage and I realized I had to do something

00:31:41.259 --> 00:31:43.920
because my mother had brought him back into the

00:31:43.920 --> 00:31:48.400
house and I cannot leave him around them. But

00:31:48.400 --> 00:31:50.240
even in that instance, I know we don't have a

00:31:50.240 --> 00:31:53.220
lot of time and I know you probably have questions

00:31:53.220 --> 00:31:59.519
and thoughts and stuff. So there was a monumental

00:31:59.519 --> 00:32:03.019
failure on my part when it came to my wedding.

00:32:04.329 --> 00:32:06.130
Because I was trying to create a relationship

00:32:06.130 --> 00:32:09.589
with my mother in some way. It's just you know

00:32:09.589 --> 00:32:13.009
we we'd be going to this Stockholm syndrome You

00:32:13.009 --> 00:32:19.009
know where the victim tries to clean to their

00:32:19.009 --> 00:32:24.130
predator or their abuser, but I Saw my family

00:32:24.130 --> 00:32:28.349
so broken That I'm thinking okay. Let me let

00:32:28.349 --> 00:32:32.450
me get all of this is in my book everything and

00:32:32.450 --> 00:32:35.569
more. I am so incredibly vulnerable about what

00:32:35.569 --> 00:32:38.809
I could have and did not do. And in fact, one

00:32:38.809 --> 00:32:43.470
of the beauties of my book, one of the saving

00:32:43.470 --> 00:32:52.369
graces about my book is three of my sisters contribute

00:32:52.369 --> 00:32:58.589
sections to the book. Two of my brothers contribute.

00:32:58.630 --> 00:33:02.440
So you get a full family view. This is not people

00:33:02.440 --> 00:33:06.519
magazine article This is not a light magazine

00:33:06.519 --> 00:33:11.440
story. This is ugly. It's gritty, but it's real

00:33:11.440 --> 00:33:16.259
and For me to have three of my sisters contribute

00:33:16.259 --> 00:33:18.779
to helplessness and they are contributing to

00:33:18.779 --> 00:33:21.339
hopefulness and they are going to contribute

00:33:21.339 --> 00:33:28.329
to happiness speaks to How far you can? go if

00:33:28.329 --> 00:33:30.890
you go through what you need to go through and

00:33:30.890 --> 00:33:34.809
go through those really hard conversations and

00:33:34.809 --> 00:33:38.490
Looking deep within yourself and not being afraid

00:33:38.490 --> 00:33:46.829
to To speak up and approach people when they

00:33:46.829 --> 00:33:51.089
say to you do not bring it up Because even that

00:33:51.089 --> 00:33:54.940
not bringing it up is a cry for help It's just

00:33:54.940 --> 00:33:57.420
don't bring it up now. It took me a long time

00:33:57.420 --> 00:33:59.460
for you to figure out it's don't bring it up

00:33:59.460 --> 00:34:04.480
now But me and my brothers we did not talk about

00:34:04.480 --> 00:34:07.940
it amongst ourselves For almost 50 years because

00:34:07.940 --> 00:34:13.820
we were so afraid to bring it up so You get this

00:34:13.820 --> 00:34:19.920
full family view and there is a lot of talk about

00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:25.130
mental health And I think most conversations

00:34:25.130 --> 00:34:27.750
around mental health are the wrong conversation,

00:34:27.969 --> 00:34:30.610
which is why my book is the emotional health

00:34:30.610 --> 00:34:34.449
challenges. I initially had the mental health

00:34:34.449 --> 00:34:37.329
challenges, but that's not it. It's not the mental

00:34:37.329 --> 00:34:38.929
health challenge that's the problem, at least

00:34:38.929 --> 00:34:42.409
not in the beginning. It's the emotional health

00:34:42.409 --> 00:34:45.489
challenge. The mental health challenge as we

00:34:45.489 --> 00:34:48.329
view it and use it today in conversation, be

00:34:48.329 --> 00:34:52.570
it. Casually or legislatively or it's school

00:34:52.570 --> 00:34:56.369
or in law enforcement. It's singular It says

00:34:56.369 --> 00:35:01.630
you're alone It says you are isolated Go over

00:35:01.630 --> 00:35:03.989
there handle your problem. In fact, let me write

00:35:03.989 --> 00:35:07.369
you a prescription and deal with it on your own

00:35:07.369 --> 00:35:13.969
That's not the Genesis it's not mental the Genesis

00:35:13.969 --> 00:35:17.110
is the emotional part that sends you to the mental

00:35:17.110 --> 00:35:20.389
place Because what you're dealing with initially

00:35:20.389 --> 00:35:27.130
is emotional trauma. And help emotionally requires

00:35:27.130 --> 00:35:31.710
a community. It requires shared experience. It

00:35:31.710 --> 00:35:36.409
is about feelings and who wants to talk about

00:35:36.409 --> 00:35:43.670
someone's feelings that's not our own. So emotionally

00:35:43.670 --> 00:35:48.360
is what we deal with first. And when we cannot

00:35:48.360 --> 00:35:51.300
find the emotional help that we need, that could

00:35:51.300 --> 00:35:54.659
just be a conversation with a friend. Let me

00:35:54.659 --> 00:35:57.780
talk. Let me express myself and you talk about

00:35:57.780 --> 00:36:02.139
men doing that. A lot of our masculine toxic

00:36:02.139 --> 00:36:05.860
masculinity starts with our inability to talk.

00:36:06.960 --> 00:36:09.280
Not only with ourselves, but with each other.

00:36:10.039 --> 00:36:14.239
And we need to have these avenues created so

00:36:14.239 --> 00:36:17.829
we can do those and have those conversations.

00:36:17.909 --> 00:36:20.489
We need to have the tools created. We need to

00:36:20.489 --> 00:36:23.130
have the systems put in place, which is ultimately

00:36:23.130 --> 00:36:26.730
what I am looking to do, create systems and tools.

00:36:27.610 --> 00:36:31.449
Because if we can't get to the emotional challenge,

00:36:31.889 --> 00:36:37.289
it's the mental that comes next. No one wants

00:36:37.289 --> 00:36:40.510
to deal with the emotional because it's... How

00:36:40.510 --> 00:36:42.670
do you regulate emotion? You can't write a prescription

00:36:42.670 --> 00:36:45.119
for emotional. But I can give you something for

00:36:45.119 --> 00:36:47.900
a mental all people understand that so I really

00:36:47.900 --> 00:36:54.199
understood it when I told my stepfather In the

00:36:54.199 --> 00:36:59.159
upstairs hallway, we're just he and I You have

00:36:59.159 --> 00:37:02.199
24 hours to leave this house. Otherwise if you're

00:37:02.199 --> 00:37:04.019
still here by this time tomorrow, I will have

00:37:04.019 --> 00:37:10.579
killed you I understood it then that I had gone

00:37:10.579 --> 00:37:15.280
from an emotional challenge to a mental one,

00:37:15.280 --> 00:37:19.760
because at that time I was in my head. I was

00:37:19.760 --> 00:37:23.860
alone. I was angry by myself. I wasn't sharing

00:37:23.860 --> 00:37:29.059
it with anyone. So the question still ultimately

00:37:29.059 --> 00:37:35.019
comes back to with at least reported some 44

00:37:35.019 --> 00:37:39.539
million adults walking around in the United States

00:37:39.539 --> 00:37:42.179
who have suffered some form of sexual abuse,

00:37:42.420 --> 00:37:48.320
not just abuse. with sexual abuse, how do you

00:37:48.320 --> 00:37:53.900
create a conversation that allows brothers to

00:37:53.900 --> 00:37:56.880
come in? Because a lot of times we have a lot

00:37:56.880 --> 00:38:00.320
of celebrities now who are talking about their

00:38:00.320 --> 00:38:03.360
direct sexual abuse, which is amazing that we're

00:38:03.360 --> 00:38:05.079
even having those conversations. It could be

00:38:05.079 --> 00:38:06.880
sports, it could be athletes, it could be politicians,

00:38:07.179 --> 00:38:09.380
it could be teachers, it could be people of influence.

00:38:09.920 --> 00:38:11.460
Men are now beginning to have the conversations

00:38:11.460 --> 00:38:13.400
about the sexual abuse that they've experienced.

00:38:14.190 --> 00:38:16.309
To the brothers no one advanced your brothers.

00:38:16.369 --> 00:38:20.409
Are you okay? Do you need to talk? Is there anything

00:38:20.409 --> 00:38:25.190
you need? No one ever asked us We're the only

00:38:25.190 --> 00:38:28.730
ones left out of the conversation and the conversation

00:38:28.730 --> 00:38:33.869
can never come full circle Unless you bring everyone

00:38:33.869 --> 00:38:39.670
in to the circle You can't only address the abuser

00:38:39.670 --> 00:38:43.079
and their uh and people who empower them and

00:38:43.079 --> 00:38:46.440
however that's going to shake out and you just

00:38:46.440 --> 00:38:52.699
can't address the issues for the abused there's

00:38:52.699 --> 00:38:56.739
someone else there's another group that needs

00:38:56.739 --> 00:39:00.480
attention that needs to be heard that is hurting

00:39:00.480 --> 00:39:07.059
and that's brothers and so my my job what i do

00:39:07.059 --> 00:39:13.400
and it is my singular focus From here on out

00:39:13.400 --> 00:39:16.099
is to elevate the voices of brothers. So we are

00:39:16.099 --> 00:39:22.719
brought into the conversation Here in the United

00:39:22.719 --> 00:39:30.280
States it is reported that every day 160 unique

00:39:30.280 --> 00:39:38.340
children a day are sexually abused Examine that

00:39:38.340 --> 00:39:44.710
for a second yesterday 160 kids got up, had breakfast,

00:39:45.090 --> 00:39:47.949
went to school, played hopscotch, played four

00:39:47.949 --> 00:39:50.070
square, played handball, played with their friends,

00:39:50.289 --> 00:39:52.869
learned their arithmetic, English, and history,

00:39:52.969 --> 00:39:56.769
and they went home, did their homework, hung

00:39:56.769 --> 00:39:59.789
out with their parents, played with the dog,

00:39:59.909 --> 00:40:01.170
played with their brother or sister, and went

00:40:01.170 --> 00:40:06.849
to bed. And around 12 o 'clock, like it was for

00:40:06.849 --> 00:40:10.750
my sister, someone opened the door. and walked

00:40:10.750 --> 00:40:16.909
in. It will happen again tonight, and it will

00:40:16.909 --> 00:40:20.269
happen again tomorrow, and then tomorrow after

00:40:20.269 --> 00:40:22.889
that, and tomorrow after that. So what do we

00:40:22.889 --> 00:40:26.809
do? We cannot shy away from these conversations,

00:40:26.869 --> 00:40:34.869
especially when it comes to children. We have

00:40:34.869 --> 00:40:37.989
to have some platform, some way of communicating

00:40:39.050 --> 00:40:45.170
with them, particularly brothers, when as soon

00:40:45.170 --> 00:40:51.289
as we learn about it, we are in pain, fear and

00:40:51.289 --> 00:40:56.429
anxiety and confusion because we feel that we've

00:40:56.429 --> 00:41:00.110
let our sisters down around something we knew

00:41:00.110 --> 00:41:02.909
nothing about. And then we start beating ourselves

00:41:02.909 --> 00:41:10.769
up. So as As the topic goes, there was no prep

00:41:10.769 --> 00:41:15.369
needed for this conversation, but possibly. But

00:41:15.369 --> 00:41:20.909
this is, you know, it's off the cuff. It's real.

00:41:22.449 --> 00:41:28.329
And that's what I do. So, okay, so I want to

00:41:28.329 --> 00:41:30.489
go back a little further into what you do. So

00:41:30.489 --> 00:41:34.320
the story itself. I feel like I want to get the

00:41:34.320 --> 00:41:36.300
book, so I'm going to order the book. Amazon,

00:41:36.739 --> 00:41:39.519
your website? Sure, you can go to Amazon, of

00:41:39.519 --> 00:41:43.139
course. I'm going to order the book. It is not

00:41:43.139 --> 00:41:46.159
an easy read by any stretch. It's very hard,

00:41:46.199 --> 00:41:49.559
but it's meant to be that way. As it should be,

00:41:49.559 --> 00:41:54.000
because what your sisters went through reading

00:41:54.000 --> 00:41:56.420
about it is nothing compared to what they've

00:41:56.420 --> 00:42:00.260
gone through, in my mind. But uh, but what i'm

00:42:00.260 --> 00:42:02.960
thinking is if you don't mind i'm actually thinking

00:42:02.960 --> 00:42:05.320
that I what i'm gonna do Because you're right.

00:42:05.320 --> 00:42:07.599
I have the book secrets, which is a short stories

00:42:07.599 --> 00:42:10.760
But this is a good example is i'm going to take

00:42:10.760 --> 00:42:13.079
your book and i'm gonna I'd like to like put

00:42:13.079 --> 00:42:15.679
it on my website just so that I can have like

00:42:15.679 --> 00:42:18.000
a link to your Amazon so that I'll do that just

00:42:18.000 --> 00:42:20.800
because I think that I want to promote it for

00:42:20.800 --> 00:42:23.860
you. So the book. So you've got the book. Let

00:42:23.860 --> 00:42:26.280
me see if I got this right. You've got helplessness,

00:42:26.400 --> 00:42:31.460
which will go to hopeless. I mean, wait, so it's

00:42:31.460 --> 00:42:35.639
hopefulness and then happiness. Yes. And right

00:42:35.639 --> 00:42:39.699
now, how many books are available? Right now,

00:42:39.820 --> 00:42:42.519
it's just helplessness. Okay, so right now just

00:42:42.519 --> 00:42:46.360
now right so to me the big question for me that

00:42:46.360 --> 00:42:51.420
I want to ask you is How can we help you so right

00:42:51.420 --> 00:42:54.420
now? What is what are your goals for do you ever

00:42:54.420 --> 00:42:56.800
are you running a non -profit? Is it just the

00:42:56.800 --> 00:43:00.320
book? Right now it's the book, but I've been

00:43:00.320 --> 00:43:03.800
approached about the possibility of creating

00:43:03.800 --> 00:43:06.760
a Nonprofit because ultimately that's what I

00:43:06.760 --> 00:43:12.289
would like to do because I think the conversation

00:43:12.289 --> 00:43:15.309
in the child sexual abuse space needs to be opened

00:43:15.309 --> 00:43:17.690
up. It needs to be expanded. And then you have

00:43:17.690 --> 00:43:19.670
to be able to create tools and systems that not

00:43:19.670 --> 00:43:22.150
only help brothers, but bridge the gap of communication

00:43:22.150 --> 00:43:25.710
between brothers and sisters. And in the larger

00:43:25.710 --> 00:43:29.309
conversation, how do you heal the family? You

00:43:29.309 --> 00:43:31.429
know, how do you not only heal the individual,

00:43:31.650 --> 00:43:34.110
but how do you heal the family? And it's not

00:43:34.110 --> 00:43:37.570
going to be the same for everyone. So right now

00:43:37.570 --> 00:43:42.699
we are doing a lot of interviews about the book,

00:43:43.139 --> 00:43:46.099
spreading the word that way. And then hopefully

00:43:46.099 --> 00:43:47.980
we can get into the conversation, how do you

00:43:47.980 --> 00:43:51.699
create the nonprofit? So I have a thought for

00:43:51.699 --> 00:43:54.699
you. By the way, I was with SCORE for eight years.

00:43:55.139 --> 00:43:58.039
So don't forget about SCORE, S -C -O -R -E, they're

00:43:58.039 --> 00:44:00.659
free business mentors, free certified business

00:44:00.659 --> 00:44:02.739
mentors, so they can really help you. You can

00:44:02.739 --> 00:44:04.900
have a free mentor to kind of walk you through.

00:44:05.260 --> 00:44:10.639
I have a question for you. What I find fascinating

00:44:10.639 --> 00:44:13.699
and not fascinating the story, obviously, but

00:44:13.699 --> 00:44:16.099
what you've that that I've never thought about

00:44:16.099 --> 00:44:19.380
it. So I was in Kissimmee. I was part on the

00:44:19.380 --> 00:44:22.400
board for the Children's Advocacy Centers. And

00:44:22.400 --> 00:44:24.760
those are the advocacy center usually is like.

00:44:24.840 --> 00:44:28.820
one location. So after the child suffers the

00:44:28.820 --> 00:44:30.820
abuse, they don't have to go to this doctor,

00:44:30.880 --> 00:44:33.679
that doctor, they to go to one location and everyone

00:44:33.679 --> 00:44:36.340
interviews them. And it's more seamless than

00:44:36.340 --> 00:44:39.039
before when they had to talk to each doctor and

00:44:39.039 --> 00:44:43.880
talk to the police, all of that. So what if it's

00:44:43.880 --> 00:44:46.500
cumbersome, right? So that plus the guardian

00:44:46.500 --> 00:44:48.159
ad litem, and I want to explain the guardian

00:44:48.159 --> 00:44:51.400
litem. The idea of that is when the judge is

00:44:51.400 --> 00:44:54.980
making a decision, if the child will be uh, if

00:44:54.980 --> 00:44:56.880
the parent will have their rights terminated

00:44:56.880 --> 00:45:00.559
or if the child will be Transition maybe home

00:45:00.559 --> 00:45:03.199
or whatever that looks like the judge usually

00:45:03.199 --> 00:45:07.039
looks at the guardian ad litem Because we are

00:45:07.039 --> 00:45:09.679
more of that neutral party, but what i'm thinking

00:45:09.679 --> 00:45:12.440
guardian ad litem Let's get the book in their

00:45:12.440 --> 00:45:15.420
hands And see if this is a book that they want

00:45:15.420 --> 00:45:17.739
to share so because i'm thinking you have so

00:45:17.739 --> 00:45:20.300
many people You know, i'm a volunteer, but you

00:45:20.300 --> 00:45:22.739
also have paid people. You also have paid attorneys

00:45:23.070 --> 00:45:25.670
that I think everyone could really benefit, because

00:45:25.670 --> 00:45:28.250
you're opening their eyes to something and then

00:45:28.250 --> 00:45:30.710
you have a story. And the fact that they could

00:45:30.710 --> 00:45:33.190
reach out to you, the fact that you're still

00:45:33.190 --> 00:45:36.250
here so that you can help them, I think could

00:45:36.250 --> 00:45:39.369
really make a big difference. And I can see you

00:45:39.369 --> 00:45:42.369
even doing workshops to the right people so that

00:45:42.369 --> 00:45:44.309
you are - Well, we would love to get into workshops.

00:45:44.530 --> 00:45:48.329
We're starting to expand into speaking. And this

00:45:48.329 --> 00:45:55.019
particular topic crosses racial lines, religion,

00:45:55.320 --> 00:46:00.340
education, social economics, wealth. It crosses

00:46:00.340 --> 00:46:04.619
every line. It crosses borders. It crosses waters.

00:46:04.800 --> 00:46:09.559
It is everywhere. And we're looking to, OK, how

00:46:09.559 --> 00:46:12.340
do we get you in front of more people? Because

00:46:12.340 --> 00:46:15.599
even you have brought you have opened up a conversation

00:46:15.599 --> 00:46:19.480
none of us have ever considered. And so we are

00:46:19.480 --> 00:46:24.150
looking to do that. Can I be a volunteer on your

00:46:24.150 --> 00:46:27.030
team? I'd like to be able to help so that if

00:46:27.030 --> 00:46:30.489
there's if there is I'd like to volunteer even

00:46:30.489 --> 00:46:34.670
with your strategic you're like your your Business

00:46:34.670 --> 00:46:38.150
plan and essence or your strategic moving forward.

00:46:38.309 --> 00:46:41.909
I would love to You know help with some ideas

00:46:41.909 --> 00:46:44.250
and what I could think because you're right.

00:46:44.250 --> 00:46:47.260
It's just asking that question So the brothers

00:46:47.260 --> 00:46:49.059
would come in this and they would be interviewed,

00:46:49.199 --> 00:46:51.280
right? Like now if that happens, what did you

00:46:51.280 --> 00:46:53.400
see? What did you know? How do you know it? What

00:46:53.400 --> 00:46:56.440
did you do? But they're really never asked how

00:46:56.440 --> 00:46:59.480
you feel. I'm sure there's plenty of counselors

00:46:59.480 --> 00:47:01.800
that are doing that, but for those that may not

00:47:01.800 --> 00:47:07.239
think about it. There aren't. I have spoken to

00:47:07.239 --> 00:47:10.099
so many family therapists and counselors and

00:47:10.099 --> 00:47:12.900
I said, okay, particularly even when I was looking

00:47:12.900 --> 00:47:15.340
for help and they have told me, I can't help

00:47:15.340 --> 00:47:19.789
you. And my response is, how come? Well, if you

00:47:19.789 --> 00:47:22.429
were a woman, if you were a girl, I know how

00:47:22.429 --> 00:47:25.889
to help them. But because you're a brother, because

00:47:25.889 --> 00:47:28.630
you're a man, I don't know what to do for you.

00:47:29.670 --> 00:47:33.510
So there's not even any help in that area. And

00:47:33.510 --> 00:47:36.869
even when I put it this way, I said, oh, OK,

00:47:37.050 --> 00:47:40.150
look, let's say I'm driving with my family of

00:47:40.150 --> 00:47:44.460
10 and we're in a car accident. And I lose all

00:47:44.460 --> 00:47:47.739
nine of them. I'm the only survivor. And I'm

00:47:47.739 --> 00:47:50.780
in free fall trauma. I don't know what to do.

00:47:50.780 --> 00:47:54.119
Could you help me? Well, yeah, I could help you.

00:47:54.199 --> 00:47:57.579
Well, it's the same thing. I've just lost my

00:47:57.579 --> 00:48:00.960
family. I've just lost my sisters. I've just

00:48:00.960 --> 00:48:03.820
lost my parents. I've just lost my brothers,

00:48:03.960 --> 00:48:07.099
figuratively, but emotionally, I've lost them.

00:48:07.699 --> 00:48:11.000
Can you not help me? Nope. I don't know what

00:48:11.000 --> 00:48:14.800
to do for a brother. Well, and you're and if

00:48:14.800 --> 00:48:17.599
I could just say this you're also having one

00:48:17.599 --> 00:48:19.840
of the hardest emotions to have which is that

00:48:19.840 --> 00:48:23.320
anger? Which if you don't work on that, that's

00:48:23.320 --> 00:48:26.300
just gonna eat you alive. That's poison and so

00:48:26.300 --> 00:48:28.780
go through mental it goes to mental and we're

00:48:28.780 --> 00:48:34.219
going to reach out and of course If I cannot

00:48:34.219 --> 00:48:38.340
Handle this it impacts every relationship with

00:48:38.340 --> 00:48:44.239
every woman that I know The trajectory of relationships

00:48:44.239 --> 00:48:48.780
are so damaged going forward, and you know this

00:48:48.780 --> 00:48:53.500
as well as I do, the chances of me repeating

00:48:53.500 --> 00:49:01.280
what was done to my sisters or me is very good.

00:49:02.059 --> 00:49:04.480
I'm going to have problems in school. I'm going

00:49:04.480 --> 00:49:06.119
to have problems in relationships. I'm going

00:49:06.119 --> 00:49:08.480
to have problems at work. I'm going to have problems

00:49:08.480 --> 00:49:11.159
with just me, because I'm in my head emotionally,

00:49:11.159 --> 00:49:15.239
and I can't find the help that I need. And it's

00:49:15.239 --> 00:49:18.480
not even just the basic, what do you do first?

00:49:19.119 --> 00:49:20.719
Well, first thing you do, you have to have a

00:49:20.719 --> 00:49:22.119
conversation. You need to find someone who you

00:49:22.119 --> 00:49:25.420
can trust and have a conversation. And look,

00:49:25.460 --> 00:49:27.300
I don't need you to judge me. I just need to

00:49:27.300 --> 00:49:30.000
talk. Because what people don't understand, because

00:49:30.000 --> 00:49:35.460
we're brothers, like DNA which is self -replicating

00:49:35.460 --> 00:49:38.840
and often times DNA replicates in ways we aren't

00:49:38.840 --> 00:49:41.300
aware of they can't see but it's doing what it's

00:49:41.300 --> 00:49:45.019
doing in our body. This is the same thing. The

00:49:45.019 --> 00:49:47.599
trauma is self -replicating. It becomes part

00:49:47.599 --> 00:49:49.820
of our DNA. It becomes a part of who we are and

00:49:49.820 --> 00:49:52.639
it will manifest in ways we are not aware of

00:49:52.639 --> 00:49:55.119
and that manifestation usually is in shutting

00:49:55.119 --> 00:50:00.039
down. The manifestation for boys in school, you're

00:50:00.039 --> 00:50:06.449
suffering in school. don't have healthy relationships.

00:50:07.909 --> 00:50:11.349
You don't have healthy relationships with women

00:50:11.349 --> 00:50:15.469
and sisters. And so we have got to figure out

00:50:15.469 --> 00:50:19.610
a way to help brothers with this. Otherwise our

00:50:19.610 --> 00:50:25.269
chance of being, you know, we will be oftentimes

00:50:25.269 --> 00:50:32.900
positive within society, but we're hurting. We're

00:50:32.900 --> 00:50:37.300
in pain and Brothers are like sisters and just

00:50:37.300 --> 00:50:39.139
like men are like women. We ultimately want the

00:50:39.139 --> 00:50:40.559
same thing We all want to be seen. We all want

00:50:40.559 --> 00:50:42.619
to be heard We ought to be understood but ultimately

00:50:42.619 --> 00:50:45.360
we want to bring the best version of ourselves

00:50:45.360 --> 00:50:49.460
in every moment of every day and If we can't

00:50:49.460 --> 00:50:54.639
get the help That we need just at the basic level

00:50:54.639 --> 00:51:01.170
someone asking a brother You know I'm sorry I

00:51:01.170 --> 00:51:06.030
did things to ask, are you okay? Because my sister

00:51:06.030 --> 00:51:08.690
who read the book, one of my sisters who read

00:51:08.690 --> 00:51:11.630
the book and she's a contributor, she said, I

00:51:11.630 --> 00:51:16.329
had no idea. She read the book like four years

00:51:16.329 --> 00:51:20.889
ago, not four years, four months ago. I had no

00:51:20.889 --> 00:51:23.190
idea you boys were going through this. I thought

00:51:23.190 --> 00:51:26.289
you boys never brought it up because you didn't

00:51:26.289 --> 00:51:29.519
care. I didn't know it because we told you, you

00:51:29.519 --> 00:51:31.440
can't talk to us and you didn't know what to

00:51:31.440 --> 00:51:35.679
do. I thought it was that and that's usually

00:51:35.679 --> 00:51:39.480
what men or brothers go through. Women who control

00:51:39.480 --> 00:51:43.659
the narrative as well as they should around this

00:51:43.659 --> 00:51:47.559
conversation because of what men have done historically,

00:51:47.579 --> 00:51:53.739
but that's not the only conversation. And so

00:51:53.739 --> 00:51:57.250
she said, I had no idea she was in tears. And

00:51:57.250 --> 00:52:00.230
if I could just share one other quick story with

00:52:00.230 --> 00:52:03.070
you that kind of puts a fine point on it happens

00:52:03.070 --> 00:52:07.289
to everyone. My father -in -law, who passed away

00:52:07.289 --> 00:52:13.230
five years ago, loved him to death. White, Jewish,

00:52:13.690 --> 00:52:16.190
comes from a very different background. He grew

00:52:16.190 --> 00:52:19.730
up in New York. I grew up poor in LA. He found

00:52:19.730 --> 00:52:22.230
a way to create an amazing life for he and his

00:52:22.230 --> 00:52:25.699
family. I struggle all the time. My wife and

00:52:25.699 --> 00:52:28.320
I have been married 38 years. We have two amazing

00:52:28.320 --> 00:52:34.480
children. So we are so different in so many ways.

00:52:35.400 --> 00:52:38.940
So many ways. Of course, race is the one that

00:52:38.940 --> 00:52:41.360
you see right away. Did you find out he's Jewish?

00:52:41.559 --> 00:52:47.519
I'm not blah, blah, blah, blah. But we, our relationship

00:52:47.519 --> 00:52:51.219
just grew and grew and grew. About two years

00:52:51.219 --> 00:52:56.159
before, right? He read the book. I didn't know

00:52:56.159 --> 00:53:00.000
he was gonna read it And then one day he called

00:53:00.000 --> 00:53:03.280
me to his house. He said I want to talk to you

00:53:03.280 --> 00:53:06.000
I'm like, oh, okay dad. I'll be over in a few

00:53:06.000 --> 00:53:10.500
minutes So I go over to the house and then you

00:53:10.500 --> 00:53:13.519
walk in and say hi dad. How are you? Okay. Yeah,

00:53:14.079 --> 00:53:16.360
I want you to come here. Have a seat here. It's

00:53:16.360 --> 00:53:21.260
a dining room table. I want to talk to you Okay

00:53:23.400 --> 00:53:26.159
What's going on? What I realized right away was

00:53:26.159 --> 00:53:29.199
my mother -in -law was not at the house. She

00:53:29.199 --> 00:53:32.059
was always at the house with me. They went everywhere

00:53:32.059 --> 00:53:35.900
to get her, but she was not at the house. So

00:53:35.900 --> 00:53:39.260
as I approached and began sitting down at the

00:53:39.260 --> 00:53:43.420
dining room table, I looked and right in front

00:53:43.420 --> 00:53:53.519
of him was my book. Okay. He says, I read your

00:53:53.519 --> 00:53:58.480
book and I'm just waiting, you know, for the

00:53:58.480 --> 00:54:06.980
critique. He says, I want you to know, and this

00:54:06.980 --> 00:54:10.599
really caught me off, really knocked me backwards.

00:54:11.659 --> 00:54:18.500
I want you to know, I understand what you're

00:54:18.500 --> 00:54:31.670
going through. What? I want you to know I understand."

00:54:31.670 --> 00:54:38.090
He says, you cannot tell anyone this story until

00:54:38.090 --> 00:54:44.230
I passed away. At the time, he's 95 years old.

00:54:46.250 --> 00:54:50.860
He eventually passed away when he was 97. If

00:54:50.860 --> 00:54:53.539
you cannot tell anyone, I have only told this

00:54:53.539 --> 00:55:04.519
story to my wife. Okay. I sit back. Because when

00:55:04.519 --> 00:55:09.980
I was a little boy, we lived in a duplex. Downstairs,

00:55:10.219 --> 00:55:13.920
upstairs. We were amazing friends with the family

00:55:13.920 --> 00:55:16.440
upstairs. We did everything together. It was

00:55:16.440 --> 00:55:18.320
just amazing because back then that's just the

00:55:18.320 --> 00:55:20.179
way it was. We kept our doors open. People walked

00:55:20.179 --> 00:55:22.760
in and out of the house, our doors all the time.

00:55:23.239 --> 00:55:25.659
That's just who we were. It was just family.

00:55:27.599 --> 00:55:30.920
One day I went upstairs. My mother had sent me

00:55:30.920 --> 00:55:32.980
upstairs to get something. You can remember eggs,

00:55:33.179 --> 00:55:40.940
coffee, sugar, something. And I went in. I didn't

00:55:40.940 --> 00:55:43.460
see anyone, but I heard a sound in the bedroom.

00:55:45.769 --> 00:55:48.510
So I walked through the living room, went to

00:55:48.510 --> 00:55:54.969
the bedroom, and I opened the door. And the father

00:55:54.969 --> 00:56:05.190
was molesting my sister. I walked out and went

00:56:05.190 --> 00:56:09.269
back downstairs to our place, and I didn't say

00:56:09.269 --> 00:56:17.920
a word to anybody. I didn't do anything. And

00:56:17.920 --> 00:56:23.199
so he started to cry. I'm like, it's okay, dad.

00:56:23.500 --> 00:56:29.880
He's like, no, no, no, there's more. It happened

00:56:29.880 --> 00:56:34.880
again three months later and I didn't do anything.

00:56:37.920 --> 00:56:49.099
I want you to know, I understand. In that moment,

00:56:51.199 --> 00:56:54.880
it occurred to me he had been carrying this pain

00:56:54.880 --> 00:57:04.019
for almost 70 years. He knows he's in bad health,

00:57:04.179 --> 00:57:11.659
but at 95, he wants to unburden himself. He's

00:57:11.659 --> 00:57:15.079
sitting across the table from his black son -in

00:57:15.079 --> 00:57:21.619
-law. Look Baptist he grew up Jewish. She grew

00:57:21.619 --> 00:57:25.300
up in Brooklyn. I grew up in our way We come

00:57:25.300 --> 00:57:28.340
from different sides of the track. It's so many

00:57:28.340 --> 00:57:33.440
ways But he's reaching out and he's telling me

00:57:33.440 --> 00:57:41.260
I Want you to know So The pain and the trauma

00:57:41.260 --> 00:57:49.019
for brothers can be so deep can be so debilitating,

00:57:49.659 --> 00:57:54.280
and we hide it very well, that this 95 -year

00:57:54.280 --> 00:58:02.860
-old man is hurting. And he finally found someone

00:58:02.860 --> 00:58:07.780
he could say, listen to me, help me here. And

00:58:07.780 --> 00:58:11.260
all the help that he wanted was someone to listen,

00:58:11.679 --> 00:58:17.880
another man to listen, not his wife. who he told,

00:58:18.960 --> 00:58:22.260
but he wanted another guy and he wasn't asking

00:58:22.260 --> 00:58:26.079
for forgiveness. He wasn't asking for anything

00:58:26.079 --> 00:58:30.940
other than, you have put this work in front of

00:58:30.940 --> 00:58:35.780
me. I thought I was the only one. It's like,

00:58:36.019 --> 00:58:39.480
oh my goodness. And in that moment, I knew how

00:58:39.480 --> 00:58:43.099
important this was. That it, as I said, across

00:58:43.099 --> 00:58:46.239
racial lines, across religion, across politics,

00:58:47.599 --> 00:58:52.000
across social economics, across education, it

00:58:52.000 --> 00:58:56.639
crosses everything. But it's one of those conversations

00:58:56.639 --> 00:59:00.579
no one wants to have. And so my father -in -law

00:59:00.579 --> 00:59:04.039
was really, really special, really, really special

00:59:04.039 --> 00:59:08.440
guy. And our evolution of our relationship, he

00:59:08.440 --> 00:59:12.539
did not have any sons. But I'd like to think

00:59:12.539 --> 00:59:17.800
we had gotten to that place where we were like

00:59:17.800 --> 00:59:21.920
father and son, you know, in the best way that

00:59:21.920 --> 00:59:26.440
we could be given our circumstances. And it really

00:59:26.440 --> 00:59:28.380
was cemented when he called because he didn't

00:59:28.380 --> 00:59:31.420
have to call. He didn't have to say anything.

00:59:31.420 --> 00:59:33.159
He had just read the book. He kept it to himself.

00:59:36.179 --> 00:59:42.070
But he needed someone to hear him. Put his mind

00:59:42.070 --> 00:59:50.550
at ease Okay, that story got me um So everyone

00:59:50.550 --> 00:59:54.349
Please don't buy a book Please buy two or three

00:59:54.349 --> 00:59:56.389
books buy yourself a book to read and then I

00:59:56.389 --> 00:59:58.409
want you to buy and I want you to before you

00:59:58.409 --> 01:00:02.429
buy the book go and see What you have in your

01:00:02.429 --> 01:00:05.710
community? Is there an advocacy center? Is there

01:00:05.710 --> 01:00:08.460
a guardian ad litem? Do you know anyone that

01:00:08.460 --> 01:00:11.000
works with trauma for sexual abuse children?

01:00:11.300 --> 01:00:14.639
Like get that information then order the book

01:00:14.639 --> 01:00:17.880
and order one for each of their groups because

01:00:17.880 --> 01:00:21.420
let them read it so that they can then start

01:00:21.420 --> 01:00:24.519
to kind of this this movement of making sure

01:00:24.519 --> 01:00:29.699
that we listen to the brothers of when they're

01:00:29.699 --> 01:00:31.679
Sisters or their other brother because it could

01:00:31.679 --> 01:00:34.739
be brothers too, right? So please don't just

01:00:34.739 --> 01:00:37.679
order a book take a second you know, you can

01:00:37.679 --> 01:00:40.719
take my number. I'll do the research for you.

01:00:40.840 --> 01:00:42.739
Just tell me where you live, and I will tell

01:00:42.739 --> 01:00:45.159
you the addresses and where to ship the book

01:00:45.159 --> 01:00:48.539
to. Because that is, we want to get it in your

01:00:48.539 --> 01:00:51.099
hands, I want it in my hands, but I'm going to

01:00:51.099 --> 01:00:53.400
order a few so I can bring mine down to the Guardian

01:00:53.400 --> 01:00:56.420
ad litem. I'm going to ship a book to Joy Chuba

01:00:56.420 --> 01:01:00.139
with the Osceola Children's Advocacy Center,

01:01:00.199 --> 01:01:03.119
and I hope everyone else does that too. Keeper,

01:01:03.260 --> 01:01:09.179
I want to So you have a team. So tell me so that

01:01:09.179 --> 01:01:11.420
you have someone had reached out or told you

01:01:11.420 --> 01:01:16.760
it was a meet and greet. And who was that? That

01:01:16.760 --> 01:01:21.659
would be Paula. So Paula, Paula, Paula. Thank

01:01:21.659 --> 01:01:25.860
you, Paula. Paula, my heart goes to you. Thank

01:01:25.860 --> 01:01:29.960
you because something made you. Think this was

01:01:29.960 --> 01:01:31.679
a meet and greet and I'm so glad you did I'm

01:01:31.679 --> 01:01:33.860
so grateful and I feel like all of this kind

01:01:33.860 --> 01:01:37.159
of aligned to Exactly what we need to talk about

01:01:37.159 --> 01:01:42.480
so Keeper I have an idea another idea for you.

01:01:42.480 --> 01:01:46.360
You have a marketing team Well, we're starting

01:01:46.360 --> 01:01:50.320
I have a marketing idea for you. I have something

01:01:50.320 --> 01:01:53.079
I want to share with you I think that'll be interesting

01:01:53.079 --> 01:01:57.449
in another platform for you. That's amazing at

01:01:57.449 --> 01:02:00.150
your time today, the story that you shared. Yeah,

01:02:00.250 --> 01:02:01.690
are there a million questions? Of course there

01:02:01.690 --> 01:02:03.650
are. But I'm going to read the book. And then

01:02:03.650 --> 01:02:05.889
I want to answer the questions. And then I want

01:02:05.889 --> 01:02:08.980
to. um talk with you again and I want to just

01:02:08.980 --> 01:02:11.179
keep in touch even though we're on different

01:02:11.179 --> 01:02:14.000
coasts I want to keep in touch with you so that

01:02:14.000 --> 01:02:16.559
I can help you so you're going to put Adrian

01:02:16.559 --> 01:02:22.260
Barker volunteer on our team so that I can just

01:02:22.260 --> 01:02:24.940
and and I do have 40 years of experience I have

01:02:24.940 --> 01:02:27.360
eight years as a certified business mentor so

01:02:27.360 --> 01:02:30.639
let me use some of my experience that I have

01:02:30.639 --> 01:02:34.039
to help I would love that I would really love

01:02:34.039 --> 01:02:39.780
yeah Yeah, we walk in the same circles, it sounds

01:02:39.780 --> 01:02:43.920
like, on many things. So that would be fantastic.

01:02:44.900 --> 01:02:48.019
So thank you, Paula. And your wife must be amazing.

01:02:48.119 --> 01:02:50.960
Just tell me how many children you have. Two.

01:02:51.800 --> 01:02:55.219
Two. And we just had our first grandchild, our

01:02:55.219 --> 01:02:58.679
grandson, four months ago. So freshly -minted

01:02:58.679 --> 01:03:02.340
grandfather. Yes, it's great. Oh, are they close

01:03:02.340 --> 01:03:04.099
to you? Are they in the same like, like, are

01:03:04.099 --> 01:03:09.659
they distance wise close? My son and daughter

01:03:09.659 --> 01:03:12.599
-in -law and grandson are five minutes away.

01:03:12.960 --> 01:03:16.780
Yes. Yes. And our daughter, our daughter still

01:03:16.780 --> 01:03:19.980
lives at home. So yeah, everyone's right here.

01:03:20.139 --> 01:03:23.480
Yeah. They're just trying to figure out adulthood

01:03:23.480 --> 01:03:26.300
because adult, adulting today is very different

01:03:26.300 --> 01:03:30.639
than it was 30 years ago. It really, really is

01:03:30.639 --> 01:03:33.900
very different. How old are they? Well, let's

01:03:33.900 --> 01:03:39.960
see. My daughter's 30 and my son, he's 33. Oh

01:03:39.960 --> 01:03:43.880
my gosh. I'm getting actually my 34 year old.

01:03:44.289 --> 01:03:46.750
is going to have a baby. At the same time, my

01:03:46.750 --> 01:03:49.849
20, my 30 year old is getting married. So I'll

01:03:49.849 --> 01:03:51.449
go to the wedding and then come home and see

01:03:51.449 --> 01:03:53.789
the baby. And they do live close. They live like

01:03:53.789 --> 01:03:56.230
an hour away in the Orlando. I'm in Daytona Beach.

01:03:56.230 --> 01:03:58.090
I'm so excited that they're in Orlando. So I

01:03:58.090 --> 01:04:02.090
get to actually have an hour, but I will, I will

01:04:02.090 --> 01:04:05.769
travel an hour just to like, I'll do anything.

01:04:05.769 --> 01:04:07.829
It doesn't even matter. So I'm very, very excited.

01:04:09.030 --> 01:04:13.510
I told my wife, if they lived in New York, What's

01:04:13.510 --> 01:04:16.190
that? A four -hour plane ride? That's a five

01:04:16.190 --> 01:04:17.969
-hour plane ride. There's no distance that's

01:04:17.969 --> 01:04:22.550
too far. You are such a beautiful human too,

01:04:22.650 --> 01:04:25.349
by the way. Just your whole look, your whole

01:04:25.349 --> 01:04:30.769
face. One last question. So wait, so your mother

01:04:30.769 --> 01:04:35.070
probably has passed, right? No, she's still alive?

01:04:35.110 --> 01:04:39.590
How old is she? She's gonna be 97, too? 95? My

01:04:39.590 --> 01:04:41.949
mother, keep in mind, she had all eight of us

01:04:41.949 --> 01:04:44.829
by the time she was 24, so she's 16 years older

01:04:44.829 --> 01:04:48.889
than me, she's 73. Wow, she's still young. Sorry,

01:04:49.090 --> 01:04:55.730
not 73, 83. She's still young. Yeah, but I don't

01:04:55.730 --> 01:05:00.650
have any conversation with her. Got it. Just

01:05:00.650 --> 01:05:06.769
because the book goes into a lot of that. But

01:05:06.769 --> 01:05:10.460
my sisters, I have great relationships with three

01:05:10.460 --> 01:05:13.400
of them. And I never thought that that would

01:05:13.400 --> 01:05:19.659
have been possible. But that was because the

01:05:19.659 --> 01:05:24.619
willingness to go through the fire and take whatever

01:05:24.619 --> 01:05:28.099
swings and arrows I needed to take, I was willing

01:05:28.099 --> 01:05:31.780
to absorb and take those and have those conversations.

01:05:32.480 --> 01:05:35.699
And how I even got to the book is because of

01:05:35.699 --> 01:05:43.380
my second sister. I was being driven to write

01:05:43.380 --> 01:05:48.539
another book, and I called her and said, I want

01:05:48.539 --> 01:05:50.719
to write a book, but there's this other book

01:05:50.719 --> 01:05:52.199
that ended up being helpful and said I want to

01:05:52.199 --> 01:05:56.400
write. And to make the story really, really short,

01:05:56.760 --> 01:05:58.420
when I told her, I was expecting her to just

01:05:58.420 --> 01:06:02.920
blow up. Absolutely not. But what she did was

01:06:02.920 --> 01:06:06.000
say, of course you should write a book. All you

01:06:06.000 --> 01:06:09.139
boys should write a book. it's not my story,

01:06:09.360 --> 01:06:11.480
it's not a girl's story, it's your boy's story,

01:06:11.539 --> 01:06:15.340
and every man needs to know what you're going

01:06:15.340 --> 01:06:18.539
through because you guys aren't the only one.

01:06:19.019 --> 01:06:20.980
And sisters need to know what their brothers

01:06:20.980 --> 01:06:25.539
are keeping hidden and the trauma that they are

01:06:25.539 --> 01:06:27.679
experiencing simply because they cannot talk.

01:06:28.460 --> 01:06:30.179
So she said, of course you should write this

01:06:30.179 --> 01:06:33.440
book. And it was the last thing I expected her

01:06:33.440 --> 01:06:38.800
to say. I expected her to say, No way don't you

01:06:38.800 --> 01:06:41.260
ever bring that and even though it's my story,

01:06:41.340 --> 01:06:43.320
you know, and I know you have to go through that

01:06:43.320 --> 01:06:46.219
but the grace and the love and the tolerance

01:06:46.219 --> 01:06:52.820
and just the The openness and that's because

01:06:52.820 --> 01:06:58.039
Time has a way of not only healing but time also

01:06:58.039 --> 01:07:02.480
has a way of just bringing perspective and her

01:07:02.480 --> 01:07:05.239
view of how and she didn't she didn't even read

01:07:05.239 --> 01:07:07.059
the book this is not even only read the book

01:07:07.059 --> 01:07:12.300
but having her own children and going through

01:07:12.300 --> 01:07:17.119
things that she went through and time can just

01:07:17.119 --> 01:07:21.119
give us a long pause but it is a needed pause

01:07:21.119 --> 01:07:24.619
to just not only reassess who we are but also

01:07:24.619 --> 01:07:28.800
reassess those people that are important in your

01:07:28.800 --> 01:07:31.099
life and those people that have actually come

01:07:31.549 --> 01:07:33.989
Into your life for whatever reason and then being

01:07:33.989 --> 01:07:36.409
able to evaluate. Oh, that's why they're here

01:07:36.409 --> 01:07:39.650
That's why I have this relationship. It could

01:07:39.650 --> 01:07:42.590
be The length of relationship could be a week

01:07:42.590 --> 01:07:45.250
could be a month. It could be a lifetime and

01:07:45.250 --> 01:07:49.090
particularly with your family Just because your

01:07:49.090 --> 01:07:51.409
brother and sister doesn't mean you have to love

01:07:51.409 --> 01:07:52.969
them All that just means is that they're your

01:07:52.969 --> 01:07:54.929
brother and sister and did we really had no choice

01:07:54.929 --> 01:07:57.949
in it? But whether or not it becomes a relationship

01:07:57.949 --> 01:08:02.380
of love it becomes a relationship of healing

01:08:02.380 --> 01:08:06.139
and hope and triumph like it is for me and my

01:08:06.139 --> 01:08:08.239
family because, like I said, I didn't think our

01:08:08.239 --> 01:08:10.699
story needed to end in triumph, rather in tragedy.

01:08:10.780 --> 01:08:12.820
It was going to end in triumph through me telling

01:08:12.820 --> 01:08:15.519
the story and helping people. But those are choices.

01:08:16.420 --> 01:08:20.359
And my sisters made the choice that they wanted

01:08:20.359 --> 01:08:23.100
to create space for me and my brothers. And we

01:08:23.100 --> 01:08:27.500
gladly stepped in and absorbed it. And I've had

01:08:27.500 --> 01:08:34.550
conversations. It's spectacular. And the story

01:08:34.550 --> 01:08:38.130
is amazing that your father -in -law really was

01:08:38.130 --> 01:08:43.689
touched. I mean, if that isn't enough proof that

01:08:43.689 --> 01:08:46.170
this book needed to be written, and thank God

01:08:46.170 --> 01:08:50.909
you wrote it. So, Keeper, before we go, can I

01:08:50.909 --> 01:08:52.970
just hear a little story about your name, Keeper?

01:08:53.010 --> 01:08:57.819
Do you mind? Not at all. In the early 1990s,

01:08:57.819 --> 01:09:01.420
I had a very successful career in the industry

01:09:01.420 --> 01:09:06.880
of direct selling, network marketing. I did very,

01:09:06.880 --> 01:09:10.060
very well. And this one particular company that

01:09:10.060 --> 01:09:15.199
I was with absolutely loved the head trainer

01:09:15.199 --> 01:09:19.140
for the company. I had no idea, but they just

01:09:19.140 --> 01:09:22.680
kept their eye on me. And so one day we were

01:09:22.680 --> 01:09:26.699
at a conference and He said, you know what, we're

01:09:26.699 --> 01:09:31.100
going to give you the nickname Keeper. I'm like,

01:09:31.100 --> 01:09:36.579
why? Because you just keep going. You do not

01:09:36.579 --> 01:09:39.539
stop. You are one of these people that completes

01:09:39.539 --> 01:09:44.380
the mission. And so from that moment on, that's

01:09:44.380 --> 01:09:48.020
all everyone has ever called me. They just call

01:09:48.020 --> 01:09:51.220
me that. And so I like it because it has a lot

01:09:51.220 --> 01:09:57.010
of multiple meanings for me. I think it's pretty

01:09:57.010 --> 01:10:01.550
cool. Wow. Wow. Thank you. I'm glad I asked that

01:10:01.550 --> 01:10:03.750
story. All right. So you and I are going to stay

01:10:03.750 --> 01:10:05.949
in touch. Absolutely. I'm going to share this.

01:10:06.130 --> 01:10:10.109
So what happens is a live goes to a I'll syndicated

01:10:10.109 --> 01:10:12.770
so that it goes on to the other platforms. And

01:10:12.770 --> 01:10:15.510
I do have a thought with you, but I'm going to

01:10:15.510 --> 01:10:18.279
end the stream. So nobody can hear, and then

01:10:18.279 --> 01:10:20.560
I will share with you. So bear with me for a

01:10:20.560 --> 01:10:22.800
second. Bye, everyone. Thank you for joining

01:10:22.800 --> 01:10:25.039
us. I know it's tough. You're going to buy. You're

01:10:25.039 --> 01:10:27.399
going to first see how many in your community

01:10:27.399 --> 01:10:29.199
would need it. And then you are going to be the

01:10:29.199 --> 01:10:31.699
one to buy, at least at the minimum, an extra

01:10:31.699 --> 01:10:36.000
book for the organization in your community that

01:10:36.000 --> 01:10:40.039
helps children that have suffered child abuse.

01:10:40.100 --> 01:10:43.300
So please, please. OK. And you know what? It

01:10:43.300 --> 01:10:48.119
could be bikers against um, child abuse, Baca.

01:10:48.600 --> 01:10:50.800
So someone get a book for Baca for the president,

01:10:50.800 --> 01:10:53.000
or you may have one in your chapter in your group.

01:10:53.199 --> 01:10:55.039
They're amazing. You know what they do? Keep

01:10:55.039 --> 01:10:56.859
running off. You're familiar with them, but they

01:10:56.859 --> 01:11:00.000
are incredible, tough bikers and what they do

01:11:00.000 --> 01:11:03.020
because the children have to go to court. If

01:11:03.020 --> 01:11:04.720
it's going to be, if they got to go to court

01:11:04.720 --> 01:11:07.140
and they have to share their story in the court.

01:11:07.199 --> 01:11:09.960
And often there's a lot, the children are scared.

01:11:10.079 --> 01:11:11.619
They're scared at night. It's sometimes that

01:11:11.619 --> 01:11:13.640
there's not a restraining order. They're scared

01:11:13.640 --> 01:11:16.899
that the, that, you know, that the perpetrator

01:11:16.899 --> 01:11:18.619
is going to come back in the room. Like all of

01:11:18.619 --> 01:11:20.680
that. And so these bikers are there to protect.

01:11:20.960 --> 01:11:23.380
They will often just say, hey, I'm going to be

01:11:23.380 --> 01:11:25.939
in your driveway all night long. If you need

01:11:25.939 --> 01:11:28.680
me, come out and get me. Like they are such an

01:11:28.680 --> 01:11:30.880
amazing group of heroes too. And there's so many

01:11:30.880 --> 01:11:33.659
groups like that. So please find a local group,

01:11:34.060 --> 01:11:36.819
your guardian ad litem and your advocacy centers

01:11:36.819 --> 01:11:39.380
and buy a book for them. It's so important. So

01:11:39.380 --> 01:11:41.920
keeper, I'm going to end the stream. Thank you

01:11:41.920 --> 01:11:43.640
everyone. And then stay on for a second.