302 - Is Failure Real?

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Good morning podcasting morning
chat.

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Today is Monday, May the 12th.
Happy belated Mother's Day to

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all the moms out there.
We hope you had an amazing day

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surrounded by those people that
you love the most.

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Today we're talking about why
failure is not real.

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Give us 30 seconds and we'll get
this conversation started.

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Good morning again podcasting,
Morning Chat.

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I'm Sid Meadows and I am your
host for today's conversation.

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As most of you know, Mark has
taken a couple of weeks off and

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the crew and I are taking over
the show.

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While he is enjoying a much
needed vacation.

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I believe he is in Spain having
a good time.

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Joining me this morning are our
Co hosts.

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We have producer Ashley Dan,
who's holding down all the tech

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Dr. He's making sure everybody's
accountable and on time and

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Jonathan Howard, Hopefully the
rest of our crew will be here

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later this morning.
So today we're going to talk

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about why failure is not real.
And we're going to start with a

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clip of a conversation that Mark
had with somebody.

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So Dan, take it away.
Let's then talk a little bit

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about building resilience for
for the long haul, because we

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know podcasting and even YouTube
it, it's a long game, right?

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And what are some habits or or
mindsets that you'd recommend to

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help build resilience and, you
know, keep that fire going even

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when the times are more
challenging?

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Yeah.
So we as a society have

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accommodated especially for
young kids.

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And this is going to be
controversial, but I think that

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we're not teaching people
resilience enough.

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We're not right.
You are not going to make steady

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progress using the strategies
that I'm saying you're not.

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You're going to have weeks and
months where you're going to

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want to give up and you're not
learning that on Instagram by

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following these social media
content creators that are like,

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oh, I made 100,000 followers
overnight and you can.

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And to just buy my product.
Yeah, like they don't tell you

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all of the struggles that
they've gone through to get

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there.
It's not going to be easy.

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So expect it to be hard, but you
have to look over the long haul,

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right?
How many months are you going to

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give this?
Are you going to give it six

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months?
So look at the small progress,

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but look at the overall progress
too.

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It's going to have its peaks and
valleys.

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But just like training your body
right, like you are going to

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plateau, you are going to gain
weight, you're going to lose

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muscle, but then you're going to
gain muscle, you're going to

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lose weight.
Like whatever your goals are,

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it's going to be up and down.
But it's like the stock market,

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you're hoping that it's just
going to keep going up.

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So expect to fail.
Yeah, that's such a great slip.

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I'm not sure who the guest was,
Ashley or Dr. Do you know who

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the guest was that he was
talking?

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To I believe it is Mark's, the
therapist.

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I'm not sure if therapist is the
right word, but she helps him

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with his ADHD and her name is
Brooke Schmidtman SCHMIDTMAN

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Schmidtman.
Well, I think that one of the

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things she said the very end
there was it's going to be up

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and down.
And I think all of us that are

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on this content creation,
podcast creation entrepreneur

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journey can understand all the
ups and downs that exist in the

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world of business, building a
business.

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So the icebreaker question for
all of you today is what's 1

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moment on your podcast or behind
the scenes, if you will, that

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felt like a total failure at the
time that it happened, but now

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makes for a great story or a
great lesson.

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Who wants to go?
And you know, I'm going to call

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on you if somebody raises your
hand.

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So somebody needs to get their
hand raised up so.

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I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm
thinking so early on in my

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producer career, I would, I
would just edit the show and

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load it into at that time, my I
only had one client, so it was

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loaded into Lipson and e-mail
the client and say, OK, it's

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loaded.
There we go.

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She likes to listen to it
before.

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So I always put it in draft
mode.

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She would listen to it and then
release it.

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And she came back and said,
yeah, something's something's

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wrong.
Something's wrong with it.

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What did you not hear that?
I'm like, Oh my God, my rose

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quiet.
Oh my God.

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And I took a listen to it and
sure enough, I mean, it was, it

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was terrible.
It sounded great before it was

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loaded in, but it was terrible
once I loaded it in.

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And my lesson is once you load
it in, always push that play

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button to hear what it sounds
like on that platform.

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Always.
And so that's some it just

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completely depleted all my
street cred and everything but

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the little St. cred I had at the
time.

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So I'm curious, I'm for all of
us non editors in the world,

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what happened?
Like what was the difference

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between when you were listening
to it and then when you put it

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out there on the player, What
what happened?

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What was the?
Issue there, there were some

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points that were like screaming
loud and other points that were

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like normal sounding and it was
just something about the

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platform.
So I took I took the whole thing

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down.
I think I put it through

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levelator or through a phonic.
And once I did that and I

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reloaded it and I listened to it
thoroughly, it turned out to be

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OK.
But man, what a huge lesson it

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was for me.
Yeah, I appreciate you sharing

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that, especially for the non
techie out here.

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Once that happened relatively
recent, I had this interview

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scheduled with this guy named
Doug.

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And Doug's not somebody I'd ever
met before, but we I knew of him

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and he knew of me our paths
across many times we'd actually

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like see each other in a
hallway, like he'd be in a

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showroom, I'd be in the hall,
we'd wave each other, but we'd

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never actually met or really
talked.

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And so I reached out to him say
we can be a guest, my show.

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And he's like, absolutely.
We had a really great pre chat

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and I was all excited about the
podcast and the recording.

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And I kind of knew what I wanted
to talk about where I wanted to

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go.
And after the recording, I ended

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the recording and thought that
was awful.

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Sid, you were off your game.
Were you nervous?

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Like, I'm asking myself all
these questions.

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Like, I just did not feel good
about that recording, right?

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And so the editor got it.
I listened to after she got it

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and get her part.
And then I listened to it.

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I was like, OK, that's better
than I thought it was going to

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be.
And then it turned out really

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nice.
And then I sent it to him and

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then we published it.
And so far this year, it is my

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most downloaded episode of the
year.

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He's gotten tons of people that
have reached out to him about

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it.
Several people have reached out

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to me talking about what it's a
great episode.

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I think I mentioned I'm
interviewing my listeners and

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several of them have mentioned
that that was their favorite

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episode that they've listened
to.

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And so my lesson is, is that
just because I speak something

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went bad and I feel like
something went bad didn't

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actually mean that the that it
was bad, right?

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So I had this perception.
I just didn't feel good about

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it.
So there's a definitely a good

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lesson in that.
So who else wants to share

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Ashley Day and Jonathan?
I'll share so, and this is also

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very recent, I've been recording
some episodes for my new podcast

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to get some stuff done and ahead
of time before July when it's

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supposed to release.
And I recorded two of them and I

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didn't like either of them when
I first listened to it.

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And much like you, I went back
and I listened to the first one

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again this past weekend after
having taken about a week and a

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half off from recording.
And it wasn't bad.

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So I edited it.
And actually upon editing, I

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might actually move that episode
up in the in the in my season

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just a little bit too, because
it actually turned out quite OK.

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I'm going to go with quite OK.
I haven't published it yet, but

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it turned out quite OK.
I think we can all be our own

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worst critics, right, Jonathan?
And listening if he just says,

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but I remember you're talking
about a solo episode.

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I remember my first solo episode
that I did like, Oh my gosh,

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well, how awful was that?
And I think what I learned

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through that process of creating
my first solo episode was I have

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to relax.
I have to take a deep breath.

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Yes, I have a script in front of
me, but not to read the script,

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right?
Like don't read the script.

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Use the script as a guide to
guide you.

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You know, guide me talking and
kind of make sure that I'm in

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injecting me into it because
when the first time I did, I was

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just reading it like I was
reading a page from a book or

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something.
It was absolutely.

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Awesome.
Can we talk about that for a

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second?
Because when I have a script in

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front of me and I know mentally,
yes, I'm just going to use this

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as a guide.
It's tough to use it if, if it's

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a script in front of me, it's
tough to just pick out some

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things versus having just
highlights in front of me that I

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can talk about.
You know what I'm saying?

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It's hard not to see all the
other stuff on the script and

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just zero in on a highlight here
and there.

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I, I understand that.
I mean, I have the full script.

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Don't get me wrong, the full
script is in front of me and I

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am following it, but I'm ad
libbing along the way, right?

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I'm injecting my personality
along the way and saying things

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that a lot of times the way you
write, it's not necessarily how

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you would speak.
So I'm injecting my speak into

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it and adding words and things
of that nature.

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And I end up having to do
sometimes two or three different

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takes of certain sections.
So I'm like, oh, that sucks.

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And I like, I'll talk to Kayla,
my editor on the mic and like,

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OK, we're going to do that
again, right?

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So.
Yeah, but that's an interesting

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concept as well.
And because when you said I

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don't necessarily write like I
speak because I can remember

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from several years ago, because
I used to write like newsletters

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for the places that I used to
work in.

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I used to work in a lot of call
centers and stuff.

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And I'd say, well, let me do a
newsletter, you know, to for

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team, team building.
So I would write the newsletter

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and even people who didn't know
I was involved with the

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newsletter all knew it was me
because they said we know GR did

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this because it sounds exactly
like her.

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Well, I mean that means that
they recognize your tone and

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your messaging and how you say
things, so I guess that's good,

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right?
What I would say about solo

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episodes and scripts or non
scripts is practice makes

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perfect.
Jonathan, I'm curious, how many

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times has it taken you to get
comfortable with using a script

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or a guide and doing a solo
episode?

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So I use a guide because that's
what I use for any Instagram

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lives that I do and that's where
I'm comfortable.

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So I will like have a guide.
And I threw out my first two

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episodes three times before I
was happy with something.

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So it took some time and it took
some time And it's very

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different for me because doing,
I'm not used to doing solo

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episodes of anything.
It's like here we're a group of

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people on my podcast with Mimi.
It's a podcast with Mimi or Mimi

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and a guest.
So I'm not used to doing solo

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episodes.
And it's, it's been a little

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bit, no, a lot of bit of an
adjustment.

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It's crazy.
I think of the time that takes,

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get comfortable with it.
And Ashley, I'm coming to you

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before I do.
I do want to invite anybody that

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is down in the audience to raise
your hand and come up and join

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us.
You are all welcome up on stage

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as we have our conversations
when we'd love to hear from some

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different voices this morning.
Ashley, what do you have to say

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about this?
Good morning and thank you.

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I was just going to say in terms
of using a script, since that's

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what we're talking about at the
moment, what's really helped me

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is how it's formatted.
Just how it looks on the page

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makes all the difference.
For example, I try not to write

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00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:32,680
out long paragraphs because like
Dr. was saying mentioned

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earlier, it kind of gets lost.
I tried to lean on bullet points

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and italics and bold print
because that helps me emphasize

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points and remember, and
sometimes I'll even put out like

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some extra words to the side to
kind of remind me of things.

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It becomes more like visual
cues, if you will.

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Yeah, I love that.
One of the things that I've done

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to help me is to make it the
screen, the document on the

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00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,880
screen, right?
I blow it up to like 150 so that

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I see it better, right?
I see the words better.

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I don't know why that helps me
if it does help me and I see

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00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:14,840
Mark is active down in the chat.
Good morning, Mark, welcome.

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I hope you guys are having a
great holiday.

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I see you're in Portugal, so
hope you're enjoying your time

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00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,760
over there.
Alex, good morning.

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00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:25,040
Great to have you with us.
This is a great topic.

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00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:28,120
I use the script.
Well I used to use the script.

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00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:31,080
Do you want to call it that?
You know, everything is on there

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00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:35,400
and now use more of a guide.
And I think especially when

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you're first starting out, I
think it's very important and

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00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:41,840
just to keep you on task.
Now when I do our lives, I

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actually kind of post script on
the OR the guide on the green

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because we just do kind of a
rundown of topics we have like

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both, if you want to call them
different segments.

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00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:56,880
And, and I think that that's
important because, you know,

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people know where you're at.
And I think it's also important,

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especially if you're doing
video, you're doing YouTube

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video, you can kind of time
stamp it and people can go to

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those different types of
whatever the topic is.

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But in terms of solo episodes,
I've never actually done a solo

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00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,280
episode.
So I don't really know anything

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00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:16,000
about that, but I'm kind of
scared to do it because it's

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just that I'm just not used to
it.

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00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:22,320
And it'd be interesting to try.
Well, I will say I understand

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00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:25,840
the fear around them today.
I don't know how many I've done,

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00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,320
but I really enjoy them.
I don't know why I get a lot of

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energy out of doing them and
it's it's a lot of fun for me.

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00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,920
So I want to keep us going.
So thank you all for playing

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00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:36,600
along with the icebreaker
question.

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00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,960
And today, as I mentioned at the
top of the hour, we're talking

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00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:42,360
about why failure is not real.
So I want to talk a little bit

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00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:46,440
about failure for just a minute.
And so you know, what if I told

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00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:50,280
you that failure doesn't really
exist, that really what failure

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is, is feedback, is feedback on
how you performed, what you did,

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How does that make you feel at
this moment when I tell you that

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00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:01,480
failure isn't real?
What are your thoughts about

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00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:03,640
that at this very moment?
Anybody have anything they want

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00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:04,960
to add to that before I keep
going my?

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00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:08,000
Initial thought is.
I don't believe you, because it

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00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:12,600
certainly feels that way.
No, I totally understand that.

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00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,240
Go ahead, Jonathan.
And my my initial thought is,

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yeah, absolutely.
Because if I hadn't failed, I

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wouldn't be where I am now.
I wouldn't have learned the

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lessons and I wouldn't be
wearing any.

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I think that that is a really,
really great, important point

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00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,880
there, Jonathan.
And failure has a lot of

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00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,760
negative connotations to it.
And part of this conversation

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00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:35,560
today is to talk about
understanding what failure is

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and what it means to you and how
you deal with it.

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00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,360
But before we keep going on, I
want to welcome Amanda.

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00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:42,160
Go to the stage.
Amanda, good morning.

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00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,120
How does that make you feel when
you hear that somebody say

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00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:48,480
failure isn't real?
Good morning.

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00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:51,720
Failure isn't real.
I guess if you want to put your

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00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:56,960
expectations before learning
experiences, then you could say

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00:16:57,160 --> 00:17:00,400
you know, failure is real.
But if you are wanting to learn,

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00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:03,480
if you're wanting to gain the
knowledge and the wisdom to take

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00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,839
with you through throughout your
game of whatever it is that

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00:17:05,839 --> 00:17:08,880
you're trying to do,
specifically podcasting, I'm

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00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:13,319
always failing forward, right?
I'm always taking from my

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00:17:13,319 --> 00:17:17,400
experiences what I need to add
to my tool belt in order to

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00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:21,359
improve my game.
So for me, it's not failing.

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We're just learning as we go.
You're speaking my language

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00:17:24,319 --> 00:17:26,079
there.
And I think it was John Maxwell

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00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:28,319
that wrote the book Failing
Forward.

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00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,640
If any of you have read it, I
think it was John Maxwell.

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00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,680
I've read that book.
I just can't remember the exact

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00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:33,840
author.
It's a really, really great

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00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,520
book, but I want to keep moving
forward.

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00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:40,720
So really what I'm talking about
the moment is that failures

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00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:44,000
really just feedback.
It just gives you information

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00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,560
that is going to allow you to
move forward.

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00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,800
It's not the end, right?
It's actually information

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00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,240
failures, just depth in the
process.

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00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:55,080
So whether it's a what you're,
whether you're your podcast,

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00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:57,880
content creation, being an
author, whatever it is, it's

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00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,520
literally just like steps in the
process.

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00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:04,920
And it's not a definition of you
or your capabilities.

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00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:08,920
And I think so many times when
we feel like that we failed, we

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00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:11,840
look internally and say, I'm not
capable of doing this.

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00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,920
I can't do that.
I'm not good enough to do this,

317
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,200
right?
But at the end of the day,

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00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:18,600
failure is just data.
I mean, every failure, if you

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00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:22,520
will, is a result that tells you
what didn't work.

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00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:27,480
And that's really valuable in
your in your podcast is super

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00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:30,280
valuable in your business and in
your life, right?

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00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:34,400
And I think real success is
built on iterations.

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00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:37,640
The quicker that you fail, the
quicker that you learn.

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00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,800
So I have a question now that I
want to open up to the group,

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00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:45,840
which is what data have you
collected about your podcast or

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00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:49,520
content that is helping you grow
and improve?

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00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,560
Who'd like to go?
I'd like to ask my audience.

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00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:56,400
I'm a hotline, so I'm always
encouraging them to call in to

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00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:59,520
give their opinion on the
segment.

330
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:02,840
I asked them to call in if there
was something that they want me

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00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:07,080
to touch on because that way I
know if they're vibing with the

332
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:11,160
flow of the episodes for that
season, if they're wanting a

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00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:12,880
little more of this, little more
of that.

334
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:16,800
I also utilize my Instagram
stories and I will do polls.

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00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:21,960
Just kind of like getting a feel
for whatever it is that I'm

336
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,080
putting out there, especially if
it's an upcoming segment on my

337
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:28,200
episode that I want their
opinion on.

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00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,720
Sometimes I don't get many
hotline call in.

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00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:35,640
So I've been utilizing my
stories to get people's opinions

340
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:40,680
and then I will incorporate that
into my show and either debate

341
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,920
that or, you know, say I agree
with that.

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00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,360
I disagree with that.
Here's why.

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00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:48,040
So you know, I I use outreach,
right?

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00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,880
Like I'm actually speaking to my
audience and asking for their

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00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,680
opinion.
Do you share the outreach on

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00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,120
directly on your show that
somebody said that they didn't

347
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:57,680
like this or they didn't like
that?

348
00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:00,960
Do you share that out loud?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure they know

349
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,520
the name of the game.
I make it clear.

350
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:05,560
Like if they leave me a
voicemail, I'll play their

351
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:09,000
voicemail like live.
If they have something that they

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00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,520
want to keep on the DL but they
still want to get off their

353
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:15,000
chest, I'll just read it and
leave them as like an anonymous.

354
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,280
But for the most part, I'm
reading what they say out loud.

355
00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:21,760
I sometimes don't add their
names, but if they know that

356
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,800
they wrote in like, it's still a
shout out for them.

357
00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:27,120
Just for time purposes, you
know?

358
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:30,520
But.
Yeah, for the most part I read

359
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:34,080
everything out loud.
So what I really like about that

360
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,720
and appreciate that is you're
sharing publicly, you're kind of

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00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,120
building in public and you're
sharing publicly the feedback

362
00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:41,000
that you're getting and then
you're addressing it or talking

363
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:44,560
about it, making the change or
not making the change, and then

364
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:48,080
incorporating or telling the
listeners why you're not making

365
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,880
a certain change.
So I think that's really good.

366
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:53,360
What a great way to build and
strengthen a community.

367
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:56,600
So kudos to you for doing that.
I'm doing that now, but

368
00:20:56,600 --> 00:21:00,040
differently, right?
I'm surveying my community

369
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:03,760
through a forum and then I'm
doing one-on-one interviews with

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00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:06,640
people and I'm getting some
amazing feedback that's helping

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00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:10,800
me formulate what I want to do
for Season 7.

372
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:13,800
So I think talking to your
audience is a really, really

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00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:18,040
good thing.
Ashley, Dan, Dr. Jonathan, any

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00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:20,120
of you like to answer this
question?

375
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:23,680
Which as a reminder, the
question is what data have you

376
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:27,760
collected about your podcast or
content that is helping you grow

377
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:32,000
and improve?
Well this is of course not my

378
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,400
show.
It's going to be one of my

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00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:38,760
clients shows.
She has just created a community

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00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:42,680
for her listeners and for her
followers I guess.

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00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:50,440
And she did a whole series, like
maybe 7 or 8 different episodes,

382
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:56,200
all on forming the community.
And it was a good vehicle for

383
00:21:56,200 --> 00:22:01,000
her because she learned from
each and every episode that she

384
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,120
did.
And because this forming a

385
00:22:03,120 --> 00:22:06,280
community is new for her, for
herself.

386
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:09,600
She's formed communities for
other, for clients of hers, but

387
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,600
she's never formed a community
for herself.

388
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:19,320
And also technology has advanced
so much since she was working

389
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:24,480
for other people basically that
it has changed the game a little

390
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:28,880
bit.
So what we learned from doing

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00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:34,040
this theories is that people
just loved it.

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00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:38,520
I mean the analytics were
through the roof for all 8

393
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:40,160
episodes.
It was amazing.

394
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:43,920
And so I think that she will
want to be doing some more of

395
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,160
that.
So when you say she was doing

396
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,640
community building, can you
explain that just a little bit

397
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:50,080
further?
Like she's building a new

398
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:53,040
community for herself?
And she talked about it in eight

399
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:54,680
episodes of that.
Did I hear that correctly?

400
00:22:55,240 --> 00:23:01,840
She's a business coach and up
until recently, she's just had

401
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:08,360
her clients and her podcast.
And now she has built this

402
00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:13,880
community on the Mighty Networks
platform, which by the way, is

403
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:15,920
great.
For some reason I have a problem

404
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:20,520
with the name, but the Mighty,
it's a, it's a great platform

405
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:24,560
for community.
So a lot of her, of course,

406
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:29,600
she's mainly female, so a lot of
her followers have joined this

407
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:33,000
community.
And in this community, she has

408
00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:38,600
an expert on finance, an expert
on transitioning from corporate

409
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,840
to being an entrepreneur, an
expert on, you know, all the

410
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,600
different things she has an
expert on.

411
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:48,120
I happen to be the one for
podcasting since I'm her

412
00:23:48,120 --> 00:23:52,480
producer.
And so people will people in her

413
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:55,760
community will come to us for
questions and stuff like that.

414
00:23:55,960 --> 00:24:00,840
I just recently gave a
presentation all on being a

415
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:06,640
guest and finding guest and it's
a great concept for for

416
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:10,000
community not and she also has
her LinkedIn newsletter.

417
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:15,720
But there's something about
being in a community and a

418
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:19,120
virtual community that is so
empowering.

419
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:21,400
Yeah, I think that's great.
Thank you for sharing that.

420
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,640
And I think that's a room topic
for one day when Mark comes back

421
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,640
about building community and how
do you do it?

422
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,080
What do you do when you've got
your community built?

423
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:32,880
What platforms can you use?
I think that would be a really

424
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:36,720
great topic and understand how
she's doing it so that we could

425
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,560
all understand how we could
build our own community.

426
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,600
So I think actually, if you'll
add that to the list, I think

427
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:41,960
that's a really, really great
one.

428
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:44,320
Jonathan, I saw your hand up.
What do you have to add?

429
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:49,880
So I was just going to share one
my notebook trick that I tell

430
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:53,640
all of my clients and also how
I'm using my social media to

431
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:57,800
help me figure out what people
are looking for so quickly.

432
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,560
The notebook trick is you need a
notebook and you need to write

433
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:03,720
down everything that anybody
ever asks you because that's

434
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:06,600
going to be your content on your
on social media.

435
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:10,280
Please have a notebook and don't
rely on your phone.

436
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,280
Don't just have a notebook
because you're going to get

437
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,440
distracted as soon as you go
onto your phone and you're going

438
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,520
to lose track of what you needed
to write down.

439
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:23,320
And I'm using that as I'm
building on my podcast because

440
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:26,160
I'm not exactly sure what
everybody what they want because

441
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:28,360
I haven't put it out yet.
And I'm doing, you know, I've

442
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:30,920
done my research.
I know what I want to be.

443
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:34,200
I know how I want to show up,
but I don't know exact questions

444
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:37,920
I can answer for people.
So I'm putting that out on in my

445
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:41,760
stories, on Instagram, on
LinkedIn a little bit and asking

446
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:46,200
people directly if you know.
If you were to.

447
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:49,000
Have to tell stories.
What are your problems with

448
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:50,960
that?
What do you run into when you're

449
00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:54,200
doing storytelling in your in
your on social media and all

450
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:58,040
those sort of things to try to
get some feedback as to what I

451
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:01,240
can answer in the podcast.
So, Jonathan, you're telling us

452
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:07,480
to go old school pen and paper?
No technology I believe.

453
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:10,040
A lot of people that's that's
freaking people out right there.

454
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:11,760
Old school.
I got to go get a notebook.

455
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,480
A notebook.
A real notebook, yeah.

456
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:19,800
And a real pen service.
OK, so let's keep moving

457
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:22,240
forward.
So now let's talk for just a

458
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:27,440
minute about let's that we get
to define what failure means.

459
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:30,080
We've talked a little bit about
is it real?

460
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,160
Is it not real?
How do you use it?

461
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:37,520
So, you know, society teaches us
to fear failure, but we get to

462
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:41,480
assign the meaning to it.
And whether it's a good outcome

463
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:45,600
or a bad outcome, we get to
assign what it means to us.

464
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:49,920
And I think what one person sees
as failure, another person might

465
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:54,160
see as redirection or as an
opportunity because it's all in

466
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:56,080
the perception of how we're
viewing it.

467
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:59,040
And, you know, like my podcast
episode that I mentioned with my

468
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:02,360
friend Doug, I saw the recording
as, yeah, that's not really

469
00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:03,000
good.
That sucked.

470
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,680
I'm not going to say it was a
failure, but it wasn't my best

471
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:08,040
work.
But yet my community and the

472
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:11,160
people listened to it said
completely the opposite and how

473
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:15,360
much they loved that episode.
So I'm curious, for those of you

474
00:27:15,360 --> 00:27:19,280
that are here with us today, how
have you or your podcasts been

475
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:22,360
redirected so?
This wasn't so much with my

476
00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:26,360
podcast but it's still podcast
related I recently.

477
00:27:26,360 --> 00:27:29,800
Lost a client?
And at the time, my knee jerk

478
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:33,240
reaction was to see that as
failure.

479
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:39,080
I saw that as a reflection upon
myself and after processing that

480
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:42,840
for a few days and you know, of
course some good reminders from

481
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:46,640
friends such as yourself that it
really wasn't failure.

482
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:51,240
It was an opportunity to direct
my focus to improving my

483
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,160
business.
Now I've got all this extra

484
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,520
time.
I don't want to say extra time,

485
00:27:55,520 --> 00:28:00,080
but I have time that I'm more
aware of to work on my website,

486
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:04,360
work more on my own podcast,
just general self improvement.

487
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:06,600
And that's really a great thing
because there's things that

488
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:09,760
really needed to happen.
So, Ashley, thank you for

489
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:11,880
sharing that.
And yes, I saw your video and

490
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:14,920
yes, I did comment on your video
and talk about the courage that

491
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:19,120
it took to post that video.
But you are actually a little

492
00:28:19,120 --> 00:28:22,720
bit of the catalyst for today's
conversation, correct, Dr. That

493
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:24,400
is right.
That is right.

494
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:28,400
Because I think it's so
important to reframe things that

495
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,640
happened in our lives so many
times we see them as failure

496
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:35,600
when in fact, it's just a
redirection or a higher power

497
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:38,120
telling us we're not putting our
efforts in the right place and

498
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:41,560
we need to go this direction.
And so I think there's so much

499
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:44,720
to be said about the perception
of failure, but I want to go to

500
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:46,400
Janae.
Good morning, Janae, thanks for

501
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:49,280
joining us.
When's the time that you or your

502
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:50,840
podcast have been redirected?
Good.

503
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:52,640
Morning.
Morning.

504
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:55,680
Thank you for that question.
I, I love it, you know, talking

505
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:57,880
about failure and how is it
real?

506
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,720
Is it not?
And really, you know, what you

507
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:04,200
guys have been talking about is,
you know, we get to define what

508
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:07,560
it is for us.
As long as we're up for making

509
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:11,360
changes, we're moving forward.
I think we're learning from

510
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:16,640
whatever we did wrong.
And failure is an awesome word

511
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:20,440
because it's, it's helps us fail
forward because we continue.

512
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:22,960
So where have I failed with high
podcast?

513
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:25,720
Great question.
What I've seen is that it's been

514
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:30,160
an evolution through time from
being a solo podcast to then

515
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:32,920
interviewing people to then
interviewing really long.

516
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:35,600
And I'm like, OK, maybe I don't
want to do that.

517
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:41,560
And then, you know, continually
adjusting the steering wheel

518
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:44,920
because when we're driving to a
destination, we're continually

519
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,640
adjusting our steering wheel
even if the car is going

520
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:51,200
straight, there might there
might be an accident.

521
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,360
So then you're adjusting that
steering wheel so it's never

522
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,600
failure until we claim that it's
a failure and we're no longer

523
00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,520
going to do it.
That's when you fail.

524
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:03,960
But if you continue to make
improvements, continue to go

525
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:08,720
forward and do good with what
you've started, then absolutely

526
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:12,040
there's a love.
The driving analogy.

527
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:14,920
Go ahead.
There's a book called Rejection

528
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:20,560
Therapy by Jia Jiang and he did
100 days of reject and and he

529
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:24,960
started to look at to see what
was that first failure look like

530
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:28,240
and why did I stop or why run
away, right.

531
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:32,240
He goes and asks $100 from this
guard and he's like, no.

532
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:33,440
And he's like, all right,
thanks.

533
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:36,360
And he just runs away.
But he just thinks to himself, I

534
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:39,720
should now, you know, take a
look at it differently.

535
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:44,000
And after those 100 days, he's
no longer fear, has a fear of

536
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:47,360
rejection.
So I love that we get to fail.

537
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:51,920
We get to, we just take that
time back, re evaluate and come

538
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:53,760
back even stronger.
Thanks guys.

539
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:57,080
Yeah, I really appreciate the we
get to aspect of this.

540
00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:00,120
We get to fail.
We get to refrain how we think

541
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,600
about it.
We get to decide how we're going

542
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:06,440
to think about it because
literally failure is just a

543
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:08,320
stepping stone.
It's not a wall.

544
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:10,280
How do you think for a minute
about the people that you

545
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:13,520
admire, that you look up to,
that are having what you believe

546
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:16,760
to be is the ultimate success in
life and business?

547
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:19,680
Maybe they're content creation
or their podcast.

548
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:24,200
What have they gone through?
What you see is success, but

549
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:27,280
what you don't see is the path
or the journey that they walked

550
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:30,280
and the stumbles and the
setbacks and the failures that

551
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:32,800
they've had.
So let's think about Oprah

552
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:35,040
Winfrey for just a minute.
Do you remember that she was

553
00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:37,200
told she was unfit for
television?

554
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,520
Did you know that Michael Jordan
didn't make his high school

555
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:44,120
basketball team?
And Thomas Edison famously said,

556
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:47,680
I haven't failed.
I just that I've just found

557
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:52,920
10,000 ways that won't work.
So here's my question for you.

558
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:57,000
What's an experience that you've
had that you see now as a

559
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:01,160
stepping stone that's had a
positive impact on your podcast

560
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,760
content creation, your life or
your business?

561
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,440
What's something that's happened
to you that you now see, let's

562
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:09,080
call it a blessing, that you see
as a blessing in your journey?

563
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:13,360
So I would say honestly, the
biggest thing that ever happened

564
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:18,680
to me that was really hard at
the time, but has helped me in

565
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:22,360
incredible ways because it
allowed me to uncover my love of

566
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:26,960
what I do, was actually when I
was attacked in Boston.

567
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:31,680
But it was one of those things
that I wouldn't want in any

568
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:35,480
other way.
It was such a an important part

569
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:41,040
of my development because it
really did set me on the path

570
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,200
I'm on now.
Jonathan, I appreciate you

571
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:44,960
sharing that.
I've heard you share that story

572
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:48,280
before, and it is a very
powerful story because of what

573
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:50,200
you were able to accomplish out
of it.

574
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:53,760
So thank you for bringing that
and for the path that you're on

575
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:57,040
and the leadership that you're
sharing with all of us here on a

576
00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:00,480
regular basis about how to show
up on socials and make a

577
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,400
positive impact in the world.
So thank you, buddy.

578
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:07,880
Ashley, I saw your hand up.
Yeah, 2 events, the first being

579
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:12,480
Hurricane Michael, which
happened in 2018, and the second

580
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:15,560
one being COVID, which was in
2020.

581
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:20,600
Both of those events were
traumatic and I would say that

582
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:24,760
they had the biggest impact on
me and my podcast because I

583
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:27,960
don't think without either one
of them, I would have ever have

584
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,960
started.
My podcast was the direct

585
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:35,720
reflection of the things that I
was feeling at the time and how

586
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:38,840
I felt about the community and
my desire to help.

587
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:43,120
And you know, I, I was on tour
playing in different venues

588
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:46,840
around Florida during COVID and
I was forced to come home and I

589
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:49,480
had all of this time.
And I always knew I wanted to

590
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:52,640
start a podcast.
And I knew I wanted it to be

591
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:56,400
about the tragedy we went
through of Hurricane Michael and

592
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:57,760
how we were getting through
that.

593
00:33:58,160 --> 00:33:59,920
And there couldn't have been a
better time.

594
00:33:59,920 --> 00:34:03,000
And if I hadn't started any of
that due to those two tragic

595
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:07,120
events, then I would probably
just be playing Mustang Sally by

596
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:11,440
the pool somewhere.
I think 20 to 20 and COVID

597
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:14,480
impacted a lot of us, but
actually I dance along with you

598
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:17,440
playing Mustang Sally by pool,
that's for sure.

599
00:34:18,159 --> 00:34:21,320
But I think we all have had
impactful stories of things that

600
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:25,840
happened to us in 2020 and how
that actually became a stepping

601
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:28,440
stone for where we are today.
That's a really, really great

602
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:29,800
example.
I'll tell you guys a quick

603
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:33,800
little story after we got back
from our vacation, because we

604
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:36,679
were on vacation when that
happened and realized we were

605
00:34:36,679 --> 00:34:40,080
going to be shut down for a bit
longer than the couple of weeks

606
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,840
that was promised.
And then the government started

607
00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:44,960
handing out the money.
What's the, what was the money?

608
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:47,080
There's an acronym for the money
that they were handing out.

609
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:48,679
Anybody remember what the
acronym was?

610
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:53,719
PUAII used to work for the
Economic Department of

611
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:56,560
Opportunity for Florida, so I
got to help dispense some of

612
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:59,840
that money.
So at the time that happened, I

613
00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:02,640
did not have a podcast, had five
people on my team.

614
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:05,640
And through the course of about
two weeks, we lost every

615
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,080
customer because everybody was
like, OK, we got to come back to

616
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:10,040
this later.
We need to stop spending.

617
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:13,640
And so all of a sudden, I held
on as long as I could in paying

618
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:18,760
people and keeping the business
afloat, but I needed to start it

619
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:22,600
cutting back.
But I applied for the money and

620
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:25,600
I got denied for the money.
But every member of Congress got

621
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:27,480
the money.
But real entrepreneurs like me

622
00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:31,280
that had people that were going
to be struggling to feed their

623
00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:33,960
families because I had to lay
them off, right?

624
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:36,880
Or to furlough them, whatever
you want to call it, couldn't

625
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:38,680
get the money to support that
team, right?

626
00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:42,120
So that's another bone of
contention for me.

627
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:46,200
But I remember I asked my wife
to come into my office for a

628
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:51,400
minute and I was in tears
telling her about what I was

629
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,840
about to have to do and that I
didn't get the money.

630
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:57,560
And that, you know, here we were
all these people that they rely

631
00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:02,800
on me to help be their family.
And this was, she said this with

632
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:09,600
the most loving intent, right?
And with the heart of trying to

633
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:11,240
support me.
But it was absolutely the wrong

634
00:36:11,240 --> 00:36:13,920
thing to say to me at the time.
She looked at me and said, well,

635
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:17,480
you can always go get a job.
I was crushed like.

636
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:20,240
I was crushed like.
And I looked at her, I mean,

637
00:36:20,240 --> 00:36:21,800
we've been married almost 30
years now.

638
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:24,240
And I looked at her and said,
that's not what I needed to

639
00:36:24,240 --> 00:36:27,400
hear, right?
I mean, I think she got it now

640
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:29,640
or then.
She got it after realizing what

641
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:31,440
she had said.
Because when you're losing

642
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:34,560
everything that you spent years
building and having to lay off

643
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:38,120
people that work with you that
you really care about, right, is

644
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:42,200
crushing.
But that's became a stepping

645
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,280
stone for me.
Like it became a catalyst for me

646
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:47,360
to do things differently, to do
things better, to start my

647
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:50,200
podcast, to start creating more
content.

648
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:54,840
And so I think we all have a
2020 story or a 2021 story

649
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:57,880
that's had an impact on us in
one way or the other.

650
00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:02,920
That was truly a stepping stone
that helped us move forward.

651
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:06,320
And that is really the important
thing here is constant forward

652
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:08,920
progress.
Does anybody have anything else

653
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:11,280
they would like to share about
what was the stepping stone for

654
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:14,200
you into your business or your
podcast or content creation?

655
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:19,960
I'm going to keep going.
So remember last week that I

656
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:23,680
shared when we were discussing
mental health with Dominic that

657
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:26,080
I shared a personal story, which
I'm not going to go through it

658
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:30,080
again, but I wanted to share the
framework that I came up with

659
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:34,040
and one more time just to make
sure everybody has it.

660
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:36,000
But I want to tell you a little
story about it.

661
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:40,120
So I got hired to be a coach for
a car dealership and I was

662
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:42,800
coaching the ownership team and
then eventually ended up

663
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:46,080
coaching the leadership team and
I worked for that car dealership

664
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:50,840
for 3 1/2 years.
One of the greatest engagements

665
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:52,800
I've ever had, people that I've
gotten to work with.

666
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:56,320
It was really, really good.
And so it had this group session

667
00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:59,000
with the owners and then I was
doing one-on-one session with

668
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,960
the owners and the general
manager of the dealership.

669
00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:05,160
You know, car dealership people
are a little bit of a different

670
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:09,600
breed at times.
And this is a big burly guy and

671
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:13,600
bald headed and very loud and
boisterous and in your face.

672
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:16,160
He was an authoritarian leader
is how I would describe him,

673
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:17,680
right to command and control
leader.

674
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:19,920
And he looked at me, we were
talking about something.

675
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:23,280
He goes, there's either only
success or failure.

676
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:27,400
And I challenged him.
Like I said, I don't believe

677
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,600
that.
I believe there's only success

678
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,120
in learning.
And I grabbed my flip chart out

679
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:34,840
that I had with me and we
started talking and I drew a

680
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:38,200
quadrant on the flip chart and I
said, let me explain.

681
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,680
And I gave him these four
questions, which those four

682
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:44,800
questions again are, is you
looking at something that went

683
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:47,880
bad in your life or your content
creation or your podcast?

684
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:50,400
The first question is what went
right?

685
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,080
Because something went right.
You just didn't get the outcome

686
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:55,640
that you want right.
You didn't get the success or

687
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:58,160
the result that you were
directly looking for, but

688
00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:00,440
something that you did in that
process went right.

689
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:03,840
So acknowledge what went right.
The second one is what went

690
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:06,720
wrong, because if you didn't get
the outcome that you wanted,

691
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:09,680
then something went wrong.
So what went wrong in that?

692
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:13,120
It could be a dozen of different
things, but trying to identify

693
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:15,920
and acknowledge what went wrong
is really important.

694
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:20,040
The third question is, and
probably the most important

695
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:23,360
question, what did I learn?
What did you learn from this

696
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,000
process?
Kind of use a stepping stone

697
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,360
example again, How can this be a
stepping stone for you?

698
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:29,520
What did you learn from this
process?

699
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:33,840
And write those down.
And then the last question is,

700
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:36,520
what am I going to do
differently the next time?

701
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:38,160
Said this the other day with
Dominic.

702
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:40,960
Brush off your big boy pants or
big girl pants and get up and go

703
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:43,920
do it again because the world
needs you to do it again.

704
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:49,480
And he looked at me with an
amazement of like, I've never

705
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:53,960
thought about this this way.
This is genius.

706
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:58,440
And he then took that and
implemented it in the entire

707
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:01,760
dealership and every leader in
his dealership.

708
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:04,280
And he called it the leadership
Foursquare.

709
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:07,120
And whenever they came into his
biz, into his office with a

710
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:10,760
problem, he asked them and went
through these four questions

711
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:13,520
with them.
And so his name is Charlie.

712
00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:16,720
He's a great guy.
We got to be really, really good

713
00:40:16,720 --> 00:40:20,240
friends, right over the course
of time that we work together.

714
00:40:20,240 --> 00:40:24,200
And I actually had the pleasure
of going to his retirement party

715
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:26,080
when he retired from the
business.

716
00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:28,920
And it's just a little things
like that that I think can have

717
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:31,320
such a big impact.
So I wanted to share those four

718
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:33,960
questions again for you as
you're thinking about what may

719
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:37,840
not be going right in your life
or in your content creation or

720
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:41,800
in your business and how can you
potentially look at reframing

721
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:44,880
them?
So just remember that to think

722
00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:48,240
about it rather than to be so
down on yourself, right?

723
00:40:48,240 --> 00:40:52,040
Because to me, it's about the
process and it's not just about

724
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:56,040
the outcome.
So I want to ask, skip ahead of

725
00:40:56,040 --> 00:41:00,160
my notes a little bit to
something the story that I

726
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:01,200
heard.
Yeah, go ahead, Janae.

727
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:02,680
Good morning.
Morning.

728
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:05,560
Yes, beautiful, beautiful set of
questions.

729
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:08,640
I need to write them down so I
can ask them myself.

730
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:13,320
And something I wanted to bring
up was the the growth of trees

731
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:15,120
in two directions.
And this is something I learned

732
00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:19,960
from Myron the other day because
he says the tree is always

733
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:23,800
growing in two directions.
And if you look at that in our

734
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:28,520
lives, right when you sow the
seed in, immediately it pops

735
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:32,520
open and then it's growing those
roots to build that foundation

736
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:35,440
so that it can support the tree.
So if you think about how large

737
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:38,040
a tree is, the root system is
that strong.

738
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:42,200
Now again, it's continually to
moving forward, continuing to

739
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:45,320
grow in both directions.
And what does that show about

740
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,120
us?
All the accolades and all the

741
00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:50,920
cool things that we get to to
celebrate.

742
00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:53,520
You know, people think that's
that's success.

743
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:57,720
But anytime that we're working
inside a deep feeling down,

744
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:00,560
that's also growth.
That's also something that we're

745
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:04,040
continuing to do.
So if we think that those down

746
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:08,360
times is failure, then I love I
love to reframe and say, Hey,

747
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:11,960
no, that's actually learning.
You're learning so that you can

748
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:16,040
stand that foundation and you
can be better person moving

749
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:18,120
forward.
So thank you so much for, you

750
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:21,360
know, telling us those questions
again and the story of Charlie.

751
00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:25,480
I I want to meet this guy now.
He's a good dude, but I really

752
00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:29,040
appreciate the tree analogy
because you're right, it grows

753
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:31,240
in two directions.
It goes up and it goes down and

754
00:42:31,240 --> 00:42:34,840
the roots are strengthening it,
which is what our lessons do for

755
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:37,080
us, right?
It's what we go through,

756
00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:39,840
strengthening our roots and
making us stronger as we keep

757
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:43,960
reaching for the stars or for
the sky to do new things and new

758
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:46,280
different things.
So I really, really appreciate

759
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:48,520
that, acknowledge it, it, that
analogy.

760
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:52,440
I'm curious if any of you
listening have ever heard the

761
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:55,160
story of Molly Bloom.
Anybody.

762
00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:59,920
No.
No, no, OK, Nobody's heard the

763
00:42:59,920 --> 00:43:01,880
story of Molly Bloom.
Well, I'm going to tell you a

764
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:05,040
quick story about Molly Bloom.
I got introduced to Molly Bloom.

765
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:07,960
Gosh, I remember when a friend
of mine heard her speak and sent

766
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:10,320
me a copy of the speech and
said, you got to listen to this

767
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:14,840
is so good.
So Molly actually was a Olympic

768
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:19,760
skier who got injured and
couldn't ski anymore.

769
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:23,240
And she was looking at what to
do, how she can make money, and

770
00:43:23,240 --> 00:43:27,920
somehow she fell into high
stakes gambling, illegal high

771
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:31,960
stakes gambling, where she ran
an underground poker game in LA

772
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:35,360
and in New York.
In 2013, she was arrested and

773
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:39,600
charged with money laundering
and illegal sports gambling.

774
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:43,440
Now, she pledged guilty and
actually got off on probation.

775
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:47,240
I'll tell you why in a minute.
But there's a podcast episode

776
00:43:47,240 --> 00:43:51,040
that Ashley has the link to that
she was interviewed on the show

777
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:55,400
called First Contact with Laurie
Segall, where she shared this

778
00:43:55,400 --> 00:44:00,560
quote that says, I had parents
that taught me that it's OK to

779
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:05,280
feel fear, but it's important to
walk through it because fear

780
00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:09,240
will rob you of your dreams and
of a full life.

781
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:14,040
So it's in that practice of, OK,
this scares something out of me.

782
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:18,440
I'm going to take a deep breath
and summon 20 seconds of

783
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:21,600
courage, and I'm going to walk
through and see what happened.

784
00:44:22,240 --> 00:44:24,680
And you can watch this episode
of Molly.

785
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:27,480
But if you're really interested,
Molly has such a fascinating

786
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:29,880
story.
Hearing her speak about her

787
00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:33,080
journey and watch what she did,
it's really encouraging.

788
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:36,920
Aaron Sorkin actually made a
movie about Molly that you can

789
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:39,320
find.
It is called Molly's Game.

790
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:44,560
And she ended up actually
working with the FBI to get a

791
00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:47,120
whole bunch of people arrested,
which is why she got off on

792
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,520
probation.
So it's just a really, really

793
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:53,280
powerful story of how she went
from being an Olympic athlete to

794
00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:57,280
running an illegal gambling
scheme to being arrested working

795
00:44:57,280 --> 00:44:59,640
with the FBI.
And now she's a public speaker

796
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:02,160
sharing her story on a lot of
different platforms.

797
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:06,480
But here's my question for you
is we got about 10 minutes left

798
00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:10,160
in today's conversation.
If you knew that failure was a

799
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:13,840
stepping stone and part of your
journey, if you knew that you

800
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:18,000
weren't going to lose
everything, you and if you just

801
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,840
knew that there was really no
such thing as failure and that

802
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:25,880
it wasn't real and you could
summon 20 seconds of courage to

803
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:28,840
do something that you just
really wanted to do, that you

804
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:30,720
felt like it was going to be
hugely impactful.

805
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:34,960
What would you do if you could
summon 20 seconds of courage?

806
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:40,400
You know, Sid, this is hard
because I've summoned those 20

807
00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:43,520
seconds of courage to do some
stuff a couple of times.

808
00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:44,160
Give.
Us an example.

809
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:46,400
Give us an example.
What have you done?

810
00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:50,160
Standing up and and speaking,
you know, sharing my story for

811
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:54,040
the hate crimes bill.
I mean, that was that was scary.

812
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:58,520
My story was used on the Senate
floor, the United States Senate

813
00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:00,600
floor.
Like that was scary.

814
00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:04,320
And I didn't know who was going
to, you know, retaliate.

815
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:08,720
Being one of the first people to
get married in DC, that was a

816
00:46:08,720 --> 00:46:11,480
scary moment.
Not something I wanted, not

817
00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:13,560
something I was expecting to be
on the cover of The New York

818
00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:15,880
Times.
But it was one of those things

819
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:17,800
that I had to do.
And I'm.

820
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:21,040
Sure, there'll be other lots of
amazing examples in your life,

821
00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:24,120
and I'm sure there are even more
as you think about it.

822
00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:27,680
So Dan, you're a coach and you
understand this and you've been

823
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:30,040
quiet all morning, so I'm going
to call on you.

824
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:33,360
What's an example of 20 seconds
of courage?

825
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:35,960
Or what would you do if you
could summon 20 seconds of

826
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:38,880
courage?
Well, I'm with Jonathan on this.

827
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:41,920
First of all, it these are tough
questions and I've been

828
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:46,440
reflecting honestly this whole
conversation, listening in and

829
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:52,560
recognizing that somewhere along
the line in the last 20 years, I

830
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:58,000
ignored the word failure and
only looked at opportunity.

831
00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:00,680
And you've described it as
stepping stones.

832
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:03,600
I believe the book that John
Maxwell that was referenced

833
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:06,000
earlier describes it as stepping
stones.

834
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:12,240
Those mistakes, I like to call
them, or are opportunities to

835
00:47:12,240 --> 00:47:14,960
learn.
And as far as this question

836
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:17,640
goes, 20 seconds.
And what would I do is

837
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:21,880
everything I've done, you know,
from standing up on a surfboard

838
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:25,320
for the first time to standing
in front of a classroom full of

839
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:28,400
soldiers to teach my first
lesson on podium in the

840
00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:32,480
military, to stand in front of a
group of people and describe why

841
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:35,800
sexual assault and sexual
harassment is a bad thing.

842
00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:38,680
And I don't want that to, I
laughed at that.

843
00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:42,240
And it's because of the, the
mandatory training side of it.

844
00:47:42,240 --> 00:47:47,560
I want to be very clear that the
topic and the content, it was

845
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:49,840
interesting how it was received
sometimes.

846
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:53,200
So I laugh about that.
But the, the content was really,

847
00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:57,800
it was bringing awareness and
training to the military.

848
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:01,360
There's so many things that I've
done, I would imagine took 20

849
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:03,520
seconds of courage to stand up
and do.

850
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:06,200
Thank you for sharing that, Dan,
But I have a, it's kind of a

851
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:09,880
different question for you.
Now that this is kind of in the

852
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:13,560
forefront of 20 Seconds of
Courage, what would you do?

853
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:18,160
How do you think you'll react
differently when you go about

854
00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:20,120
doing something and building
your business?

855
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:23,960
Well, I think that ties into
where I was going.

856
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:27,440
I, I don't know that anything
will change.

857
00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:32,200
I, I, you know, embrace new
opportunities and embrace things

858
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:37,600
that that I embrace things that
I don't know in order to

859
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:42,440
challenge myself in order to
move forward and to learn on a

860
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:47,240
consistent basis.
I love the idea of learning in

861
00:48:47,240 --> 00:48:49,760
everything I do.
It takes a lot to get there

862
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:51,520
right.
It takes a, it takes a lot to

863
00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:54,200
understand what that means and
how do you get there right.

864
00:48:54,760 --> 00:48:57,880
And so I want to start to wrap
up today with a couple of

865
00:48:58,040 --> 00:49:01,320
things.
So I will acknowledge that these

866
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:04,600
were difficult questions and
especially so early in the

867
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:07,000
morning and most of you are just
barely getting your coffee.

868
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:10,640
But I appreciate you going along
this journey with me as we

869
00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:14,920
talked about failure and that
understanding that, you know,

870
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:17,480
it's really not real.
It's just part of your process.

871
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:19,880
It's part of part of your
becoming of who you are.

872
00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:23,320
But I want to take a second and
acknowledge that bad things

873
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:26,560
happen, right?
And it, it's just part of life,

874
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:27,880
right?
That bad things happen.

875
00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:31,440
And when they happen, you have
to deal with them.

876
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:33,920
You can't totally ignore them,
right?

877
00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:37,680
You've got to deal with them.
And so throughout my journey, I

878
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:41,880
came up with two questions to
ask myself that have been really

879
00:49:41,880 --> 00:49:44,640
helpful to me when I'm giving
myself the grace.

880
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:45,560
Because that's what you have to
do.

881
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:48,640
You have to give yourself the
grace to deal with whatever that

882
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:51,320
has happened in your life or in
your business.

883
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:56,040
And this is permission.
And one of those permissions is

884
00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:59,440
asking yourself the question,
how low am I going to go?

885
00:49:59,920 --> 00:50:02,200
Remember the story that talked
about I laid on the floor in the

886
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:05,080
dark, and that was a really,
really low point for me, right?

887
00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:08,720
So ask yourself the question,
how low are you going to go?

888
00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:11,320
And the second question,
probably the most important of

889
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:13,240
the two, is how long you're
going to stay there.

890
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:16,080
What these two questions are
doing is giving yourself

891
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:19,720
permission to deal with whatever
it is you might be grieving at

892
00:50:19,720 --> 00:50:24,000
that moment, right?
And understanding that you get

893
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:27,600
to you get to choose how you're
going to deal with this and how

894
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:29,240
low you're going to let this
take you.

895
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:32,640
So it's how low am I going to go
and how long am I going to stay

896
00:50:32,640 --> 00:50:34,120
there?
And I think that you'll find

897
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:37,040
those two questions when you're
dealing with something bad in

898
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:42,280
your life very free and very
liberating that you realize that

899
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:45,200
you get to make the choice
nobody else does.

900
00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:47,680
It's to make the choice about
how you're going to deal with

901
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:49,600
this.
So with that, I want to thank

902
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:53,160
you all again for being here
this morning, hanging in with

903
00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:54,840
me.
The good thing for all of you.

904
00:50:54,840 --> 00:50:56,920
Go ahead, Janae.
Yeah, one thing I wanted to

905
00:50:56,920 --> 00:51:02,120
mention is yes, failures are
going to be in our lives there.

906
00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:06,040
That there's the art form that
Japanese use, and you've

907
00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:10,240
probably heard of this called
kitsugi, where they'll take the

908
00:51:10,240 --> 00:51:14,880
broken pot and they'll rejoin
those pieces with gold to

909
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:17,560
highlight the learning, the
lessons learned.

910
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:23,640
In fact, in the in the episode 9
of Star Wars, he did a very

911
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:28,360
similar thing for Kylo Ren's
helmet, using red out of, you

912
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:32,480
know, bonding because it shows
that he's gone through failure.

913
00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:34,160
But we're still standing, we're
still here.

914
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:37,720
So this is an amazing topic.
Yes, it's kind of early for the

915
00:51:37,720 --> 00:51:41,080
deep buses, but we enjoyed the
session.

916
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:43,840
Absolutely.
So today, thank you for that.

917
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:48,640
I think I saw Gary D poster
image of a coffee mug, like a

918
00:51:48,640 --> 00:51:52,640
green coffee mug that had been
put back together with pieces of

919
00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:54,280
gold.
Did anybody else see that?

920
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:57,680
And he talked about that same
similar message, I believe.

921
00:51:58,160 --> 00:51:59,600
Did you Harding it?
Maybe you saw it.

922
00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:01,440
I think I saw it on LinkedIn or
something.

923
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:04,520
But thank you for that and thank
you all for being here.

924
00:52:04,520 --> 00:52:08,120
The good news is this is my last
time to host for the week

925
00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:12,560
because I am out of the office
on a little holiday Thursday,

926
00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:15,320
Friday and Monday through the
weekend headed to the wine

927
00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:17,480
country with some friends so you
guys don't have to deal with my

928
00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:20,000
deep questions for the rest of
the week.

929
00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:24,240
Mark will be back hopefully the
on Monday the 12th but I

930
00:52:24,240 --> 00:52:26,240
appreciate you guys.
Not the 12th.

931
00:52:26,240 --> 00:52:29,800
Monday the 19th.
So I appreciate you guys hanging

932
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:32,360
in there with me today and
having this very important

933
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:34,600
conversation.
We appreciate each and everyone

934
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:36,080
of you being here.
Go out there and make today

935
00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:38,760
great, everyone, and we'll see
you right back here tomorrow

936
00:52:38,760 --> 00:52:41,840
morning at 6:00 AM Eastern
Standard Time.

937
00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:42,800
Have a great day everyone.