How to Heal Emotional Triggers: A Self-Love Coaching Breakdown for Women Starting Over

Welcome to another episode of Bent Not Broken. Heartbreak and trauma may feel like the end of your story, but here it's the beginning of a bold new chapter. I'm your host, Coach Deborah Griffiths, and this is the space where women rise, rebuild, and rediscover their purpose. Remember this truth. You are bent not broken. Welcome back to this Bent Not Broken bonus coaching session. I'm Coach Deborah, and today we're diving deeper into the powerful wisdom shared in my conversation with Jonathan Asley, a midlife self-love coach whose work has transformed thousands of lives. Jonathan's story reminds us that the real journey isn't just about healing heartbreak. It's about healing the relationship we have with ourselves. So today I'm breaking down the most transformational insights from our interview and giving you some practical coaching tools to help you begin right now to strengthen your self-worth, reconnect with your identity, and create healthier relationships. Let's get started. Coaching insight number one. Jonathan talked about losing everything at once, his marriage, his career, his finances, and then years later losing his son. What carried him through wasn't perfection. It was emotional scaffolding, therapy, self-help, spiritual work, and a willingness to look inward. Here's a coaching exercise. Ask yourself, where is my identity cracked, but not broken? What emotional supports do I need to rebuild? And finally, where am I avoiding my healing by staying busy? Write down three emotional tools you want to strengthen. Therapy, journaling, meditation, setting boundaries, or speaking your truth. Coaching insight number two. Dating from a wounded place leads to patterns, not partnerships. Jonathan said something profound. Most people aren't struggling with dating, they're struggling with self-worth. If you look for someone to validate you, you unintentionally hand them the power to hurt you. Coaching exercise. Reflect on your past relationships. Was I hoping someone would fix me or make me feel like I was enough? Did I ignore red flags because I wanted to be chosen? Or was I dating from loneliness or wholeness? Awareness is the first step toward sovereignty. Coaching insight number three. Sovereignty is the foundation of a healthy love. Jonathan used this beautiful metaphor. Two people in a relationship are like two separate nations, each with their own way of doing things. Self-love means you don't sacrifice your identity, you don't abandon yourself to keep the peace, but you create agreements, not expectations. Here's a coaching exercise. Write down what sovereignty means to you. Then list the parts of yourself you've given away in the past. Maybe your voice, your boundaries, your needs, your dreams. What will you no longer negotiate? Coaching insight number four. A self-examined life is the heart of self-love. Jonathan said something I want you to hold close. Self-love is not manicures and massages. It's personal responsibility. It's emotional honesty. It's healing the six-year-old that's inside of you. Triggers aren't weaknesses, they're invitations. Coaching exercise. Think about a recent trigger. And instead of asking why did they do that, ask, what story is this touching inside of me? What emotion did I feel beneath the reaction? And what does this reveal about what I still need to heal? This is where transformation begins. Coaching insight number five. Feeling your feelings is a superpower. Most of us avoid our emotions with work, distraction, caretaking, or even perfectionism. Jonathan reminded us that self-love means letting yourself feel, without numbing, without minimizing, or without pushing it down. Coaching exercise. Set a timer for five minutes and then sit quietly. Ask yourself, what am I feeling right now? Don't fix it. Don't judge it. Just acknowledge it. This alone can shift your emotional frequency. Coaching inside number six. Gratitude and appreciation shift everything. One of Jonathan's most beautiful reframes was seeing money as appreciation. A flow of energy, not a measure of worth. Gratitude reconnects you to abundance. Scarcity connects you to fear. Here's a coaching exercise. Today, every time you spend money or receive money, whisper, thank you for this appreciation. I am grateful for this exchange. Watch how your emotional state starts to change. Coaching Insight Number seven. Self-love is a daily practice, not a destination. Jonathan spends an hour every day nurturing his emotional well-being. Not because he's broken, but because he's committed. Choose one daily practice to commit to this week. Maybe it's a guided meditation, or ten minutes of journaling. How about speaking one truth each day? Or an affirmation you listen to in your own voice? A gratitude walk? Or maybe a moment of stillness without distractions. Small practices lead to profound shifts. Jonathan's message is clear. You cannot build a healthy relationship with anyone until you build a healthy, loving, sovereign relationship with yourself. Self-love is that oxygen mask. Self-awareness is the compass. And sovereignty, that's the path forward. You are not broken. You are just rebuilding. And you are worthy of a love that doesn't cost you yourself. If today's session resonated with you, share it with someone who is rebuilding after divorce, heartbreak, or emotional abuse. And remember, your next chapter begins the moment you decide to look inward. I'm Coach Deborah, and this has been your Bent Not Broken bonus coaching session. And until next time, stay brave, stay gentle, and stay beautifully aligned with your truth. Thank you for listening to today's episode of Bent Not Broken. I hope that this episode reminded you that even through life's toughest moments, you are bent, not broken. If this message inspired you, please share, rate, review, and subscribe, as it helps us reach more women who are ready to rise and rebuild. And until next time, keep living bold and walking in your purpose.